getting better. Good news for anyone who cares.

Like a beast inside me the rage is tearing free. I can almost feel the knots of rationality tearing. No one thing brought thisabout as far as I can figure. I write now in the morning for the first time because I dont know if I'll even still have my mind when I get home. The only thing I want in life... Something everyone has... and I cant ( Read more... )

I've just returned from Grandpas wake and have decided that I no longer qualify as a human being. My Mom was so crushed. Me, I tried to feel something. Home usually makes me so happy, but naturally the mood of everything wasn't so. I tried to help, but being the unfeeling monster that I have become, I was virttually useless. It's official that ( Read more... )

It's official, I'm going home for a week for grandpas wake. Mostly this trip is for reflection and attonement. I need a vacation. Today I killed a giant roach. I hate texas. If I didn't have to go to work in 5 minutes, I'd write the story...

So, today my friend is in pain and I feel partially responsible. Sadly, I am also helpless to help. Sorry, Gin. I hope you're alright ( Read more... )

delusions of invincability dissolved, I return to my usual depressive state. Screw the world! This day is not going well...

Today I've decided to go forward with my sergeants promotion... I test on May19th.

Yesterday I got my Tax return deposited in the bank, made copies of my comic "3C" to send to my friends overseas, got a lawn mower, moved all the cardboard boxes to the truck, got a tarp and that machette I've been looking at, got a lawn mower, and finally went running again. Just a wussy 3 miles but concidering the circumsatnces, at least I'm ( Read more... )

I feel so alone. I went to get the groceries for my little group... alone. I went to see a movie... alone. Now I sit at a computer... alone. Ah, to feel loved again. Today it feels to far away. Impossible. Its been two years since I've seen anyone. Three since I dared to love at all. There is a girl. She seems to be trying, but I know ( Read more... )

So, on my way home from work, my roomate was being pathetic, as usual. She was being absorbed by the drama in her life. It was funny because I was fed up with her and I wasn't really all that different. So, she's rattling on about being depressed for hours and I'm like JUST STOP!!! I go off on this tangent about how when we let ourselves fall ( Read more... )