Comments | agentrosecotton: Twilight: A Review

agentrosecotton

Twilight: A Review

Aug 08, 2009 12:34

This was originally posted on my Facebook, but I figured I should share it with you folks too. If you're a Twilight fan, read with caution. It's kind of, well, mean.

Warnings: strong language, excess sarcasm, one or two mentions of TEH SECKS.

( Twilight: A Review )

book review, rant, commentary, ramble

Comments 22

dk2022 August 9 2009, 09:17:46 UTC

Oh yeah, and they can't have sex. Ever. Doomed to eternal virginity. Ha ha! How sad. Show of hands, who thinks Stephenie Meyer comes up with a way around it in order to get Bella pregnant?When they get married (because Eddie will only vamp her when they're married) he doesn't vamp her straight away. They have sex (which Bella gets knocked out whilst doing, waking up in the hospital asking, 'WTF?' - there's a rant about that somewhere on LJ), she gets preggers with a Biology defying baby (how can you have a baby with a dead person?) that then proceeds to abuse her from the inside. I think Bella's spine was broken and that's why Edward changed her (but I could be wrong. I only got up to the third chapter of Eclipse before wanting to kill myself). Rosalie stopped hating on her cause she had a baby before being vamped (cause she wanted babies and that's why she hated Bella - she was human and was chucking it away for her one twu luv...) The last line was something about how they were in their perfect little happy ending, or some bollocks ( ... )

hoppytoad79 August 10 2009, 21:53:52 UTC

Arzim, over at Twilight Sucks, wrote several kickass rebuttals to Twilight not terribly long ago. Being a science geek m'self, my favorites are #9 and #10, Science: Why Nessie Can't Exist and Science: Why Meyer Fails At It, respectively.

pookamoos August 9 2009, 20:34:44 UTC

Okay so I replied over on facebook and I'm doing it here as well because I'm compulsive like that. Yes, yes, and yes. I think it speaks to a serious decline in either IQ or mental health to be a fan of this banality.

And it's Mormon!!!!

(The comment has been removed)

agentrosecotton August 13 2009, 19:15:30 UTC

Thank you for your kind words! It really makes me sad how many people are taken in by this dangerous tripe. It's like a chocolate mousse with a razorblade at the centre...

superherogrlcat August 14 2009, 17:37:58 UTC

:D Great snark! I definitely agree with you re:Eddiekins. Stalking is never, ever cool. I'm terrified that a whole generation of Twifans are going to actively search out abusive behaviors in their SO's. I have little cousins who are VERY into Twilight, and it frightens me.

cass_the September 20 2009, 21:47:16 UTC

I officially love you. Why are otherwise reasonable and bright women our age thinking this is good writing, a good story, or a hot guy? This was hilarious, thank you.