The English paper!

[agentrosecotton]

...so I had all these grand plans to start up my livejournal again and get back into the community and make icons and things. I even re-downloaded the image program I used back in the day and started writing fanfiction to post to a community

Comments

[spotts1701]

A prosecutor in a murder case might use “murderer”, “death-dealer,” or “butcher” to refer to the accused

The first one - yes. The second two - only if he wants a mistrial and to be brought up before the state Bar for prosecutorial misconduct.

Sorry, being nitpicky.

[agentrosecotton]

No, that's exactly the kind of thing I want. Thank you.

[agentrosecotton]

What about "slayer", "executioner", etc.? What could I use instead?

[spotts1701]

A prosecutor can call the defendant a "murderer". He can refer to him as a "killer". But in general, it's preferred that a prosecutor stick to the facts (say, pointing out that defendant knows things that only the killer would know).

Jack McCoy walks the very fine line between zealous action and improper behavior. Sometimes he crosses it, but is never called on it, because it makes for better drama.

[ramblin_rosie]

Given that your prof is apparently not as allergic to five-paragraph essays as my entire department is, my only structural nitpick is that the conclusion should be a separate paragraph.
My rhetorical nitpick is with your example in paragraph 2 because you can't be sure your audience will agree with you on Iraq (assuming they make the connection). Using a political example makes perfect sense for the point you're making there, but is there a less recent example you could use, possibly something from Orwell or even out of Mein KampfAbout the grade: Remember that in college, average is a C. This assignment isn't the sort I'd give, so I can't tell you how I'd grade it, but don't get hung up on the grade. All it tells you is how well you did what the prof wanted. (My freshman comp prof and I never quite understood each other... I made an A, but I had to revise most of my papers more than once, either because I hadn't understood the assignment--she asked for anecdote, she got story--or because I assumed pop culture knowledge she didn't

[agentrosecotton]

You're completely right on several things. =) First, the conclusion ::is:: a separate paragraph; when I c/ped it from Word, the formatting screwed itself up. I have fixed it, as you can see.

Secondly, a valid point. I knew that when I was writing it. However, it goes back to playing to your audience--my prof is sort of über-liberal, and I suspect he will quite enjoy the sentiment. One can hope it will bump up my grade...I suppose that is slightly unethical, now that I think of it. Oh well.

Yes, excellent point... I'm just used to making better grades, at least when I try. I suppose the quality level of most high school writing is much lower than that of college, so again, I can't dazzle them with style so they ignore the structural flaws (which has been my bad habit until now).

[cass_the]

My comment got so long, I just message it to you. In summary: "great start, here's some suggestions." :) There was nothing in here to merit being harsh about, but I was honest, because I know I'd prefer that myself.

So are you planning to return to the world of LJ regularly now?

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[anonymous]

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to see how you work and learn so much!

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