(no subject)
So okay. First off hello Livejournal. It has been a while. I started writing in you in May of 2001. Interestingly enough I don’t have an entry for 9/11. Upkeeping a Journal has never been my forte. Anyway…HELLO.
Oh wow. Back and already starting heavy.
If i were to die by suicide. It would be because I came to the choice logically. It will not be a panicky crisis-y thing. I think the only path there is Exhaustion. Tired of living. Nothing left for me to want to create. By Create you must assume art. Creation comes in many forms. We create bonds, friendships, neural pathways and a whole multitude of things. I imagine I’ll just be tired. So tired i don’t want to create anymore. I suppose that is a kind of depression. But here’s the thing about ME. The tiniest light can lead me out of the darkness. I say this now so that if one day people look for answers, they’ll find some here. I’m not in the habit of giving full and exact answers because if i were being honest, i don’t know them myself. The greatest mystery in my life are the vast intricacies of my mind. Perhaps the exploration of those peaks and valleys will keep me going.
Oh wow. Back and already starting heavy.
If i were to die by suicide. It would be because I came to the choice logically. It will not be a panicky crisis-y thing. I think the only path there is Exhaustion. Tired of living. Nothing left for me to want to create. By Create you must assume art. Creation comes in many forms. We create bonds, friendships, neural pathways and a whole multitude of things. I imagine I’ll just be tired. So tired i don’t want to create anymore. I suppose that is a kind of depression. But here’s the thing about ME. The tiniest light can lead me out of the darkness. I say this now so that if one day people look for answers, they’ll find some here. I’m not in the habit of giving full and exact answers because if i were being honest, i don’t know them myself. The greatest mystery in my life are the vast intricacies of my mind. Perhaps the exploration of those peaks and valleys will keep me going.