just_muse_me | 19.4.2. Promise
19.4.2. Promise
Co-written with paramedically
[Follows THIS]
Ali was sitting on a bench in the long, stark corridor of the Intensive Care Unit at Mount Sinai Medical Center. An empty coffee cup was crumpled between her clasped hands as she stared unseeingly at the bottom of the water cooler across from her. It wasn't that she didn't know what to think about the whole situation... it was that she couldn't think. Her brain felt like it had shut down and evaded any attempts at her trying to understand what was going on. All she could focus on was that James was in a coma. Again And his condition hadn't changed since he had been brought in. Izzy was there somewhere, but she was busy. FBI business. She was investigating the 'case' of James' sudden and unexpected return from the dead. Pierce had shown up briefly with two other Agents in toe that Ali didn't recognise, and another guy in an expensive looking suit with Secret Service ID was hovering around on a regular basis. Ali could only assume this was James' partner, though she hadn't met him personally yet.
She didn't even know where Harri was. Probably in James' room with him. Ali hadn't felt like she could go in there beyond the initial first five minutes just to see for herself he was still alive, even if it didn't look like it. After that she had kept her distance, not wanting to get in the way or trying to pretend she was involved when she wasn't. She didn't really feel like she belonged there anymore. His room was up the hall and she was here in the corridor. But she was here, and that's all that mattered. Well, she was there in body. She couldn't really be sure where her mind was these days. Which is why she nearly jumped a mile when someone sat down next to her and plucked her from her thoughts that were more just a disjointed numb hole in her head. "Andy," she gasped, putting her hand on her chest.
Andy smiled softly at her, but it was nothing but worry filling his eyes. "Welcome back, baby," he murmured, shifting a freshly diapered Jamie in his arms and adjusting her little duckie cardigan over her tummy. "Sunshine's got something for you," he added and placed a small trademark turquiose box into Ali's hand, giving her fingers a comforting squeeze as he did.
Ali looked at him in confusion and then glanced down at her daughter. She put the crushed coffee cup on the floor and stroked her finger's over Jamie's fine blonde hair. Of course as a New York girl, Ali knew what the box was. What girl didn't love getting Tiffanys? She untied the bow and opened the box, finding a gorgeous gold locket inside with the word 'Mom' engraved on the outside. "Oh my god," Ali said tearfully, turning to him with a watery grin.
"Happy First Mother's Day, baby," Andrew said, giving her a soft kiss. "Open it up," he urged.
Ali looked at him in awe. She hadn't even realised it was Mother's Day, let alone stopped to think it was her first one. And through everything that had been going on, Andrew still remembered and still wanted to try and make it special for her. She opened the locket and in one side was a very recent picture of Jamie dressed in Ali's favourite baby outfit, her hair in the tiniest little pigtails and lacy bows. The other side had a photo of Ali and Jamie together, taken one day without Ali even realising, with Ali pressing a tender kiss to her daughter's forehead. The delicate chain looped through her fingers as she stared at it, trying desperately not to cry again but it was useless. She was a fucking walking snot drip these days. No one in her whole life had cared for her and made her feel as special as Andrew did. "I love it... it's... it's perfect..." she whispered and kissed him, cupping his face in his hands and stroking his cheek with her thumb. She moved on to kiss Jamie's head and then hugged them both gently.
"I know you've got a lot going on, but it's still your Mother's Day too," Andrew told her. He picked up a plate of cookies from the seat beside him and held them out for Ali. It was an array of sweetly decorated letter-shaped cookies that spelt out 'I love Mom' under a crisp white envelope. "You need to open that too," he explained with a laugh.
Ali shook her head and smiled as she balanced the plate on her lap and slipped her fingers into the seal of the envelope to open it. This time is was plane tickets to Australia and a whole two-week itinerary for a tropical holiday at the Great Barrier Reef for the beginning of June. They had talked about it but she never expected him to pull it all off so quickly. Her mouth was hanging open as she read over the schedule. She actually couldn't remember the last time she had a holiday. Any travel that was coming to mind was work-related or impromptu trips to England to visit family. All well before she fell pregnant with Jamie. Now she got to spend two relaxing weeks in the tropics with Andrew and Sunshine, and the holiday was no budget-saver, to say the very least. The hotel was five stars, all-expenses paid. "Andy, you can't... this is... it's too much money..." she floundered, gaping at him.
"Ali, I'm not destitute," Andrew assured her with an amused smile. "Far from it. Just a single lad who basically lived to work never had all that much to spend his money on in the past. I know we haven't discussed the whole financial aspect of anything and that you have a lot of money in your own right, but I guess I'm kinda old fashioned at heart. I want to take care of my family and that includes spoiling them when I want to. This holiday, I know you want it, but I think you also desperately need it and it should be something special."
Ali chewed on her lip, watching him closely. "Can I asked you something?" she said softly, taking his hand and curling her fingers in with his. Jamie had obviously decided being in her Daddy's arms was perfection and was dropping off contentedly.
"Anything," Andrew murmured with a small nod.
"Do you want kids? Or... more kids, I suppose is more accurate," Ali asked hesitantly. It had been something playing on her mind for awhile and she could feel them getting closer and more serious as every day passed. Maybe it was time to talk about the future, about things like finances and responsibilities. "And I don't mean to just dump this on you out of the blue and you can tell me to fuck off or take some time to think about it, but it's just one of the many things I guess I've been thinking about."
Andrew nodded in understanding. "It's okay," he told her with a slight smile. "I never had much need to seriously contemplate it before. I've probably always wanted kids, but was never at a point in my life to stop and realise, hey, yeah, I really do want to settle down. Until I met you, and Jamie just became like my own, and if I had to base a decision on that, then... yeah. I would maybe like to have another child one day. I really love being her Dad," he added, pressing his lips together with a small shrug. "But you're going to tell me you don't want to have any more...?"
Ali caught the uncertain question in his tone. "I didn't have a very good pregnancy, which was probably a lot to do with the fact I didn't want to be pregnant. And the whole post-natal depression thing has been really scary for me. It's like someone else has been controlling my mind. But then, I am getting better, and I know it was factored to the situation. A part of me probably does want to say that I don't ever want to go through that again, but a bigger part of me is saying that maybe I do, another time, with you and experience how it's supposed to be. Give Jamie a little brother or sister, because I know how much I love Max. Just, like, not any time soon..." she added hastily. "I'm still exhausted from the thirty six hour labour, I think."
Andrew couldn't help but laugh. "How about we just make a deal to think about it later? Of course there is no rush, and we can't know what's going to happen down the track. Jamie's only six months old. How about we just promise not to decide either way until we feel like the time is right again? And when that time comes, we'll see how you feel and how I feel, and find a happy page to be on together. Luckily we live in the age of condoms and contraceptive pills, and we have the luxury of being able to wait until we're ready to think about it."
"I can do that," Ali told him, her nose scrunching up a little as she smiled. There was just something about his soft tone of voice with the slightest hint of the lingering Australian accent, and the way he looked nursing Jamie that made Ali's heart warm in a way she never thought it would again. She needed him. For the first time since she met him, she could finally admit to herself that she needed someone, and she wanted it to be Andrew no matter what. She wet her lips, leaning in to kiss him. "I love you, Andrew Connor."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,645
Co-written with paramedically
[Follows THIS]
Ali was sitting on a bench in the long, stark corridor of the Intensive Care Unit at Mount Sinai Medical Center. An empty coffee cup was crumpled between her clasped hands as she stared unseeingly at the bottom of the water cooler across from her. It wasn't that she didn't know what to think about the whole situation... it was that she couldn't think. Her brain felt like it had shut down and evaded any attempts at her trying to understand what was going on. All she could focus on was that James was in a coma. Again And his condition hadn't changed since he had been brought in. Izzy was there somewhere, but she was busy. FBI business. She was investigating the 'case' of James' sudden and unexpected return from the dead. Pierce had shown up briefly with two other Agents in toe that Ali didn't recognise, and another guy in an expensive looking suit with Secret Service ID was hovering around on a regular basis. Ali could only assume this was James' partner, though she hadn't met him personally yet.
She didn't even know where Harri was. Probably in James' room with him. Ali hadn't felt like she could go in there beyond the initial first five minutes just to see for herself he was still alive, even if it didn't look like it. After that she had kept her distance, not wanting to get in the way or trying to pretend she was involved when she wasn't. She didn't really feel like she belonged there anymore. His room was up the hall and she was here in the corridor. But she was here, and that's all that mattered. Well, she was there in body. She couldn't really be sure where her mind was these days. Which is why she nearly jumped a mile when someone sat down next to her and plucked her from her thoughts that were more just a disjointed numb hole in her head. "Andy," she gasped, putting her hand on her chest.
Andy smiled softly at her, but it was nothing but worry filling his eyes. "Welcome back, baby," he murmured, shifting a freshly diapered Jamie in his arms and adjusting her little duckie cardigan over her tummy. "Sunshine's got something for you," he added and placed a small trademark turquiose box into Ali's hand, giving her fingers a comforting squeeze as he did.
Ali looked at him in confusion and then glanced down at her daughter. She put the crushed coffee cup on the floor and stroked her finger's over Jamie's fine blonde hair. Of course as a New York girl, Ali knew what the box was. What girl didn't love getting Tiffanys? She untied the bow and opened the box, finding a gorgeous gold locket inside with the word 'Mom' engraved on the outside. "Oh my god," Ali said tearfully, turning to him with a watery grin.
"Happy First Mother's Day, baby," Andrew said, giving her a soft kiss. "Open it up," he urged.
Ali looked at him in awe. She hadn't even realised it was Mother's Day, let alone stopped to think it was her first one. And through everything that had been going on, Andrew still remembered and still wanted to try and make it special for her. She opened the locket and in one side was a very recent picture of Jamie dressed in Ali's favourite baby outfit, her hair in the tiniest little pigtails and lacy bows. The other side had a photo of Ali and Jamie together, taken one day without Ali even realising, with Ali pressing a tender kiss to her daughter's forehead. The delicate chain looped through her fingers as she stared at it, trying desperately not to cry again but it was useless. She was a fucking walking snot drip these days. No one in her whole life had cared for her and made her feel as special as Andrew did. "I love it... it's... it's perfect..." she whispered and kissed him, cupping his face in his hands and stroking his cheek with her thumb. She moved on to kiss Jamie's head and then hugged them both gently.
"I know you've got a lot going on, but it's still your Mother's Day too," Andrew told her. He picked up a plate of cookies from the seat beside him and held them out for Ali. It was an array of sweetly decorated letter-shaped cookies that spelt out 'I love Mom' under a crisp white envelope. "You need to open that too," he explained with a laugh.
Ali shook her head and smiled as she balanced the plate on her lap and slipped her fingers into the seal of the envelope to open it. This time is was plane tickets to Australia and a whole two-week itinerary for a tropical holiday at the Great Barrier Reef for the beginning of June. They had talked about it but she never expected him to pull it all off so quickly. Her mouth was hanging open as she read over the schedule. She actually couldn't remember the last time she had a holiday. Any travel that was coming to mind was work-related or impromptu trips to England to visit family. All well before she fell pregnant with Jamie. Now she got to spend two relaxing weeks in the tropics with Andrew and Sunshine, and the holiday was no budget-saver, to say the very least. The hotel was five stars, all-expenses paid. "Andy, you can't... this is... it's too much money..." she floundered, gaping at him.
"Ali, I'm not destitute," Andrew assured her with an amused smile. "Far from it. Just a single lad who basically lived to work never had all that much to spend his money on in the past. I know we haven't discussed the whole financial aspect of anything and that you have a lot of money in your own right, but I guess I'm kinda old fashioned at heart. I want to take care of my family and that includes spoiling them when I want to. This holiday, I know you want it, but I think you also desperately need it and it should be something special."
Ali chewed on her lip, watching him closely. "Can I asked you something?" she said softly, taking his hand and curling her fingers in with his. Jamie had obviously decided being in her Daddy's arms was perfection and was dropping off contentedly.
"Anything," Andrew murmured with a small nod.
"Do you want kids? Or... more kids, I suppose is more accurate," Ali asked hesitantly. It had been something playing on her mind for awhile and she could feel them getting closer and more serious as every day passed. Maybe it was time to talk about the future, about things like finances and responsibilities. "And I don't mean to just dump this on you out of the blue and you can tell me to fuck off or take some time to think about it, but it's just one of the many things I guess I've been thinking about."
Andrew nodded in understanding. "It's okay," he told her with a slight smile. "I never had much need to seriously contemplate it before. I've probably always wanted kids, but was never at a point in my life to stop and realise, hey, yeah, I really do want to settle down. Until I met you, and Jamie just became like my own, and if I had to base a decision on that, then... yeah. I would maybe like to have another child one day. I really love being her Dad," he added, pressing his lips together with a small shrug. "But you're going to tell me you don't want to have any more...?"
Ali caught the uncertain question in his tone. "I didn't have a very good pregnancy, which was probably a lot to do with the fact I didn't want to be pregnant. And the whole post-natal depression thing has been really scary for me. It's like someone else has been controlling my mind. But then, I am getting better, and I know it was factored to the situation. A part of me probably does want to say that I don't ever want to go through that again, but a bigger part of me is saying that maybe I do, another time, with you and experience how it's supposed to be. Give Jamie a little brother or sister, because I know how much I love Max. Just, like, not any time soon..." she added hastily. "I'm still exhausted from the thirty six hour labour, I think."
Andrew couldn't help but laugh. "How about we just make a deal to think about it later? Of course there is no rush, and we can't know what's going to happen down the track. Jamie's only six months old. How about we just promise not to decide either way until we feel like the time is right again? And when that time comes, we'll see how you feel and how I feel, and find a happy page to be on together. Luckily we live in the age of condoms and contraceptive pills, and we have the luxury of being able to wait until we're ready to think about it."
"I can do that," Ali told him, her nose scrunching up a little as she smiled. There was just something about his soft tone of voice with the slightest hint of the lingering Australian accent, and the way he looked nursing Jamie that made Ali's heart warm in a way she never thought it would again. She needed him. For the first time since she met him, she could finally admit to herself that she needed someone, and she wanted it to be Andrew no matter what. She wet her lips, leaning in to kiss him. "I love you, Andrew Connor."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,645