for those who dont know me, and those who like to think they do...
yes, i was watching oprah and got inspired - leave me alone...
if you really knew me you would know that my name is jane, im 17 and live in a house.
if you really knew me you would know that what you see emotionally on the outside is merely a facade to cover the lack on the inside.
if you really knew me you would know that the one thing that bothers me the most about myself is my lack of emotional response...very little touches me emotionally for good or bad, and it scares me.
if you really knew me you would know that i miss the one person who made me feel passionate about anything, whether good or bad.
if you really knew me you would know that i love life, i just am sick of going through it in a state of apathy.
if you really knew me you would know that i love and trust my friends beyond reason, but will hold a grudge until the end of eternity should one betray me.
if you really knew me you would know that i resist opening up properly to anyone to avoid this.
if you really knew me you would know that i honestly feel i have nothing worth saying about myself, and would much prefer to talk about someone else.
if you really knew me you would know that i am very easily intimidated by older, stronger women, and tend to view them with an almost hositile wariness.
if you really knew me you would know that the person i trust the most i feel uncomfortable being around in a group because i think i am less worthy compared to the rest.
if you really knew me you would know that when my sister and my mother were arguing really badly at home just before she left, i told my mother that if she wasnt careful she would have 2 dead daughters instead of 1 and meant it.
if you really knew me you would know that i have scars on the top of my legs just because i could.
if you really knew me you would know that me and my father dont have an abusive relationship, we just dont have one at all...despite going to his house for weekends on regular occasions for the past 17 years, we cannot hold a simple conversation and he has no excuse for that!
if you really knew me you would know that i put friends above my family without exception.
if you really knew me you would know that i have never told anybody i had a crush on that i liked them in my entire life.
if you really knew me you would know that i always put friends before partners, and have lost the opportunity to have a relationship with someone on so many occasions because i refuse to say anything as i know someone else likes them too.
if you really knew me you would know that i recognise how stupid this is but cant seem to change it.
if you really knew me you would know that i hate my dodgey skin with a passion and view it as part of the reason that i cant seem to attract and keep anyone.
if you really knew me you would know that i have actually been told by a boy in all seriousness that that is true.
if you really knew me you would know that i will do things with someone just because its nice to be desired (though yes, i still have standards).
if you really knew me you would know that i hate how angsty this has turned out, but admit that that was kinda the point.
if you really knew me you would know that i love being touched, but cant stand it from my mother.
if you really knew me you would know that the only reason i see my dad at all anymore is because i like my stepmother.
if you really knew me you would know that i admit my hypocrisy in that what i find attractive in other women i cant stand in myself.
if you really knew me you would know that i automatically turn to jesting insults around people i dont really know, and am now unable it seems to be nice to new people.
if you really knew me you would know that that bothers me.
if you really knew me you would know that i hate people as a whole, but will admit that certain individuals do have redeeming features.
if you really knew me you would know that the same goes for americans.
if you really knew me you would know that cruelty to animals bothers me more that cruelty to humans.
if you really knew me you would know that the next time i hear on the news that *insert product here* causes cancer i will probably scream...i just dont care!
if you really knew me you would know how hard i find being around upset people...maybe because i dont get like that really, i just dont know what to say or do.
if you really knew me you would know that it often feels like the 3 parts of me - my emotions, my body, and my intellect - are just not connected properly...nothing works like it should, let alone in harmony with the rest.
if you really knew me you would know that whilst i am the least charitable person i know, i am attracted to damaged people...when im helping them i feel useful and worthwhile.
if you really knew me you would know that i could never do that as a career though.
if you really knew me you would know how lost i feel about the future...nothing seems worthwhile as a career, not my intellectual interests, nor my creative or manual ones.
if you really knew me you would know that all in all i am happy.
if you really knew me you would know that isnt enough for me...i need some passion in my life, either in the form of a person or an interest - i dont care.
if you really knew me you would know that i found writing this fairly easy but will find posting it quite alot harder.
if you really knew me you would know that i will probably wait hours if not days to read your comments after knowing you left them, just because im not sure what you will say and have to talk myself into reading it.
if you really knew me you would know that i love you all without exception.
if you really knew me you would know that im sorry i couldnt leave a cheerier adition to your friends page.
if you really knew me you would know that my name is jane, im 17 and live in a house.
if you really knew me you would know that what you see emotionally on the outside is merely a facade to cover the lack on the inside.
if you really knew me you would know that the one thing that bothers me the most about myself is my lack of emotional response...very little touches me emotionally for good or bad, and it scares me.
if you really knew me you would know that i miss the one person who made me feel passionate about anything, whether good or bad.
if you really knew me you would know that i love life, i just am sick of going through it in a state of apathy.
if you really knew me you would know that i love and trust my friends beyond reason, but will hold a grudge until the end of eternity should one betray me.
if you really knew me you would know that i resist opening up properly to anyone to avoid this.
if you really knew me you would know that i honestly feel i have nothing worth saying about myself, and would much prefer to talk about someone else.
if you really knew me you would know that i am very easily intimidated by older, stronger women, and tend to view them with an almost hositile wariness.
if you really knew me you would know that the person i trust the most i feel uncomfortable being around in a group because i think i am less worthy compared to the rest.
if you really knew me you would know that when my sister and my mother were arguing really badly at home just before she left, i told my mother that if she wasnt careful she would have 2 dead daughters instead of 1 and meant it.
if you really knew me you would know that i have scars on the top of my legs just because i could.
if you really knew me you would know that me and my father dont have an abusive relationship, we just dont have one at all...despite going to his house for weekends on regular occasions for the past 17 years, we cannot hold a simple conversation and he has no excuse for that!
if you really knew me you would know that i put friends above my family without exception.
if you really knew me you would know that i have never told anybody i had a crush on that i liked them in my entire life.
if you really knew me you would know that i always put friends before partners, and have lost the opportunity to have a relationship with someone on so many occasions because i refuse to say anything as i know someone else likes them too.
if you really knew me you would know that i recognise how stupid this is but cant seem to change it.
if you really knew me you would know that i hate my dodgey skin with a passion and view it as part of the reason that i cant seem to attract and keep anyone.
if you really knew me you would know that i have actually been told by a boy in all seriousness that that is true.
if you really knew me you would know that i will do things with someone just because its nice to be desired (though yes, i still have standards).
if you really knew me you would know that i hate how angsty this has turned out, but admit that that was kinda the point.
if you really knew me you would know that i love being touched, but cant stand it from my mother.
if you really knew me you would know that the only reason i see my dad at all anymore is because i like my stepmother.
if you really knew me you would know that i admit my hypocrisy in that what i find attractive in other women i cant stand in myself.
if you really knew me you would know that i automatically turn to jesting insults around people i dont really know, and am now unable it seems to be nice to new people.
if you really knew me you would know that that bothers me.
if you really knew me you would know that i hate people as a whole, but will admit that certain individuals do have redeeming features.
if you really knew me you would know that the same goes for americans.
if you really knew me you would know that cruelty to animals bothers me more that cruelty to humans.
if you really knew me you would know that the next time i hear on the news that *insert product here* causes cancer i will probably scream...i just dont care!
if you really knew me you would know how hard i find being around upset people...maybe because i dont get like that really, i just dont know what to say or do.
if you really knew me you would know that it often feels like the 3 parts of me - my emotions, my body, and my intellect - are just not connected properly...nothing works like it should, let alone in harmony with the rest.
if you really knew me you would know that whilst i am the least charitable person i know, i am attracted to damaged people...when im helping them i feel useful and worthwhile.
if you really knew me you would know that i could never do that as a career though.
if you really knew me you would know how lost i feel about the future...nothing seems worthwhile as a career, not my intellectual interests, nor my creative or manual ones.
if you really knew me you would know that all in all i am happy.
if you really knew me you would know that isnt enough for me...i need some passion in my life, either in the form of a person or an interest - i dont care.
if you really knew me you would know that i found writing this fairly easy but will find posting it quite alot harder.
if you really knew me you would know that i will probably wait hours if not days to read your comments after knowing you left them, just because im not sure what you will say and have to talk myself into reading it.
if you really knew me you would know that i love you all without exception.
if you really knew me you would know that im sorry i couldnt leave a cheerier adition to your friends page.