why is happiness an illusion for me?

waiting for cps to start....

i talked to stacy last night, and she helped me a ton with whats been on my mind, thanks again stacy....

... so now i have to decide what to do and when to do it, im tryin my best not to think about it too much, cuz ill prolly over think it and end up doing the worst thing i could do, hopefully all will end well...

im so confused and lost on things... i dont know what to do anymore, im starting to lose my mind.... i dont know what to do, and i cant keep doing nothin or else ill gone insane... i think i juss need some1 to talk to, but theres no1 to talk to....

i dont know why i even update this... no1 reads it

dane cook concert is april 12th, here at central, i really wanna go, but no1 else will, let me know if u wanna go, gotta get tix soon!

im just here playing my role, ill never do anything other than play this role that ive been given, for fear that if i step outside that role, that i will lose what ive worked so hard to build, ill keep tricking myself to stay in this role, ill keep lying to myself so i stay in this roll, no matter how much i want to, i mustnt leave this role, i can ( Read more... )

I GOT MY BABY BACK TODAY!!!! IM SO HAPPY, I GOTTA TAKE IT EASY FOR AWHILE TO LET THE NEW ENGINE GET BROKEN IN, BUT SHE RUNS!!!! AND SHES BACK!!!! only problem is i cant get my speakers to work, but thats ok, ill fix that when i can... BUT MY BABY IS BACK!!!!

the thin ice ive been skating on now has some cracks and has broken on me a couple of times... im confused about what to do now, and im affraid that im going to lose a friend... on a good note, the almost constant fighting that was going on with another friend of mine is over, and over the past few days i feel like we have grown stronger or closer ( Read more... )

everything has been kinda wierd latly, i feel like im skating on thin ice, and i know im gonna fall through, im juss not sure where and when, but i know its gonna happen... some good things happend this weekend, me and jeanell stopped fighting, which is great, but i hate to say it, i dont think its gonna last that long, everything else juss seems ( Read more... )

its been a few days since ive last updated, to those of u i dont talk to much but u read this, have no fear i am alive...

well im back at central now, so thats cool, SB was pretty pointless didnt really do anything and i didnt get to see some people i wanted to... only like a month and a half of school left, not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing yet... im still really confused about alotta shit and im about ready to just say fuck it i dont give a shit ( Read more... )