I heard a song this afternoon... although I'm not sure where it came from. It could have been an ad from my laptop, or even from somebody's AM radio outside... but the violin in it sounded so raw and vulnerable and sad and at first instinct, I was terribly mistaken for a lonely housewife and almost began to cry. I didn't, mind you. I realized that ( Read more... )

Yesterday I woke up around one in the afternoon, lay in bed for an hour and a half somewhere between dreamstate and deliberate force, fuzzily conscious and blotting out all the edges slowly darkening into focus with the sandpaper will of my wooden brain. Watching with the pores lining the inside of my respiratory system as the grey landscape of the ( Read more... )

Spine
I've dared things
others never would.
I've put myself
to ultimate tests
and at one point
seriously contemplated
my own suicide
but I get white in the face
when I go near places
you and I've been;
one single moment
of your marvelous voice
and
one look at me
from your stunning face
makes me shake.

In the wake of rain storms, the grass is the vibrant green of childhood drawings rendered in Crayola crayon, the trees sport tiny fragile buds that seem to grow more bold each time I blink, and the flowers gain new bedfellows each day. It all feels so painfully optimistic. Spring is developing around me as in a polaroid photo where a blank ( Read more... )

An enormous, languorous writer's block has perched itself upon me; I soar on the edges of ecstasy, whimsically jogging through my neighborhood (in jeans, no less!) and buying Dickie thirty (not that many) kinds of vegan treats, and it was just yesterday that I was that girl who'd discovered Schopenhauer is her guardian angel - I drink bottles of ( Read more... )

I'm finding regular writing rather less easy than I remember it being. Perhaps you've noticed. Most likely, I suppose, it's because I'm not currently living a terribly interesting life and have been idling for weeks through the most drawn-out case of a head cold I can imagine ever having afflicted anybody whose immune system wasn't compromised by ( Read more... )

I am so tired. It is 9pm but deep in my bones I could swear it is actually midnight (note: Marrow is clearly not an accurate keeper of time. Defer to sundials when in doubt. When it's dark, consult the moon's craters. When it's dark and cloudy just ask the soil.). The soles of my feet are sore from being the base of my pillar all day. I had a dream ( Read more... )

Gravity to this latitude and longitude has struck me down this year. Life is swift and sneaky and will take you by surprise when you least want/expect it to. I have secrets that stick heavy under my ribs marked by the same architecture. They aren't wrong-doings of any sort, but feelings I could probably never expose to anyone other than my ( Read more... )

My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram, or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation.

I am an adrenaline junkie ( Read more... )