"Things happen for a reason, and in their own time." - Idina Menzel
It seems to be getting better!
Another 2 weeks have gone by now since I left. So it’s been about what... 5 weeks now. I can actually say now, that it’s different now!! Not a big difference but at least something has changed. That’s all I can really ask for right!? The thing that change is that now I’m actually happy again! O_o It’s pretty awesome! I haven’t felt geniunely happy in a long time. I mean, I’ve been genuinely happy before but it’s different this time. It’s more consistent you can say. Before, there would be random moments of happiness. Like when I saw my friends occasionally or I did something I really liked. But now, I’m happier.
It might be because I’m finally starting to let go of her. Like for real this time. I’m not thinking about her all the time and it’s quite nice. I think, I’ll really be able to let go of her this time. Finally! >< haha. But yes, it might finally be over this time. I think, I can finally move on and get better once I completely let her go. Maybe, this break away from everyone and everything that was a part of why I acted the way I did and my problems, really will help. Still can’t say much yet though since I just started to let her go. Have to wait a bit longer to see if it really is changing. Hopefully it really is!
Nothing really new has been going on. It’s been about a month now since I last contacted my friends. The last time I tried, they either didn’t respond or they didn’t really talk to me. And when I say friends, I mean my once close friends. And really only two people. Other friends I’ve contacted all responded. I still talk to him though. He’s a good friend. He's actually the only one that has stuck with me through this whole situation. It's kind of weird. I thought it would one of my other friends that would have stuck with me... and I thought it would also be a girl too! :P Cause most of my close friends are girls.
Anyway he’s off to camp now to help kids with disabilities so I won’t be able to talk to him for a week or so. He went with a couple of other friends too. I hope they are having fun and helping the campers out. It’s really a good thing they are doing. It gives the kids a week of fun and to get away from all the doctor appointments and stuff. The camp is really awesome.
Anyway, I’m still talking to him. He’s the only close friend that was a part of my core friend group that I still talk to. It kind of sucks since I miss the others a lot. They were all once my closest friends at one point or another. Well, two out of the three were. There were other people in our core friend group but I’m only talking about 3 of them. So when I say them, I mean those 3 main friends. Anyway, like I was saying... one of those friends was my closest and best friend at one point. But a year or so ago... that started to go down hill. We started talking less and less and then we didn’t really talk at all. I really miss talking to her. She was someone I looked forward to seeing and talking to all the time. We could talk about a lot of things and now we barely talk about anything anymore.
I’m not really sure what happened these passed couple of months. Well, I mean a lot stuff happened but I thought I did pretty well the last few weeks I was there. I didn’t seem all that depressed and I acted better in front of everyone. I mean, I smiled so much that my cheeks started to ache! But nothing changed. A couple months back we were doing better. We were talking and seeing each other... at least in a group setting. But the passed month and few weeks before I left, we barely interacted. And i’m not sure why that is. I tried to talk to her once after I got to nyc but we didn’t talk for long and we barely talked at all. There might have been reasons behind it but it still sucks. I miss talking to her. I miss talking and seeing all of them.
I’m still not sure if we’ll still be friends when I get back. I’ve grown distant from them and it seems like it’s just going to keep getting more and more distant as this summer goes on. It really saddens me like no other. I wonder how they’re doing... It’s been over a month since I talked to any of them. And about 2 months now since I talked to or even seen her. But it’s okay. It’s probably best that I don’t see them until I get everything straightened out anyway. I hope that when I return, I’ll be my own person.
I just wish I could talk to some of them and figure out what's going on between us. But... i don't have the courage to do so. I'm still just a coward and can't even talk to his so called friends about stuff. Well, at least talk to the people who are actually involved and not someone else. I wish I could just go do it but I'm scared. And that makes me a bad friend in my opinion! :(
But enough of that. Lets talk about something happy. So I went to see a Broadway show last week! I ended up seeing Wicked. It was so f***ing amazing!!!! O_O I love Broadway! I knew it was good but damn! Soooo amazing! I am definitely going to go back and see other performances! I so can’t wait to see Phantom of the Opera! That’s going to be amazing! XD Maybe I’ll watch Chicago next or Mama Mia next! ><
Oh and work is still going well so yeah. Other than that... nothing much else to say.
Really digging this quote!!
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
Another 2 weeks have gone by now since I left. So it’s been about what... 5 weeks now. I can actually say now, that it’s different now!! Not a big difference but at least something has changed. That’s all I can really ask for right!? The thing that change is that now I’m actually happy again! O_o It’s pretty awesome! I haven’t felt geniunely happy in a long time. I mean, I’ve been genuinely happy before but it’s different this time. It’s more consistent you can say. Before, there would be random moments of happiness. Like when I saw my friends occasionally or I did something I really liked. But now, I’m happier.
It might be because I’m finally starting to let go of her. Like for real this time. I’m not thinking about her all the time and it’s quite nice. I think, I’ll really be able to let go of her this time. Finally! >< haha. But yes, it might finally be over this time. I think, I can finally move on and get better once I completely let her go. Maybe, this break away from everyone and everything that was a part of why I acted the way I did and my problems, really will help. Still can’t say much yet though since I just started to let her go. Have to wait a bit longer to see if it really is changing. Hopefully it really is!
Nothing really new has been going on. It’s been about a month now since I last contacted my friends. The last time I tried, they either didn’t respond or they didn’t really talk to me. And when I say friends, I mean my once close friends. And really only two people. Other friends I’ve contacted all responded. I still talk to him though. He’s a good friend. He's actually the only one that has stuck with me through this whole situation. It's kind of weird. I thought it would one of my other friends that would have stuck with me... and I thought it would also be a girl too! :P Cause most of my close friends are girls.
Anyway he’s off to camp now to help kids with disabilities so I won’t be able to talk to him for a week or so. He went with a couple of other friends too. I hope they are having fun and helping the campers out. It’s really a good thing they are doing. It gives the kids a week of fun and to get away from all the doctor appointments and stuff. The camp is really awesome.
Anyway, I’m still talking to him. He’s the only close friend that was a part of my core friend group that I still talk to. It kind of sucks since I miss the others a lot. They were all once my closest friends at one point or another. Well, two out of the three were. There were other people in our core friend group but I’m only talking about 3 of them. So when I say them, I mean those 3 main friends. Anyway, like I was saying... one of those friends was my closest and best friend at one point. But a year or so ago... that started to go down hill. We started talking less and less and then we didn’t really talk at all. I really miss talking to her. She was someone I looked forward to seeing and talking to all the time. We could talk about a lot of things and now we barely talk about anything anymore.
I’m not really sure what happened these passed couple of months. Well, I mean a lot stuff happened but I thought I did pretty well the last few weeks I was there. I didn’t seem all that depressed and I acted better in front of everyone. I mean, I smiled so much that my cheeks started to ache! But nothing changed. A couple months back we were doing better. We were talking and seeing each other... at least in a group setting. But the passed month and few weeks before I left, we barely interacted. And i’m not sure why that is. I tried to talk to her once after I got to nyc but we didn’t talk for long and we barely talked at all. There might have been reasons behind it but it still sucks. I miss talking to her. I miss talking and seeing all of them.
I’m still not sure if we’ll still be friends when I get back. I’ve grown distant from them and it seems like it’s just going to keep getting more and more distant as this summer goes on. It really saddens me like no other. I wonder how they’re doing... It’s been over a month since I talked to any of them. And about 2 months now since I talked to or even seen her. But it’s okay. It’s probably best that I don’t see them until I get everything straightened out anyway. I hope that when I return, I’ll be my own person.
I just wish I could talk to some of them and figure out what's going on between us. But... i don't have the courage to do so. I'm still just a coward and can't even talk to his so called friends about stuff. Well, at least talk to the people who are actually involved and not someone else. I wish I could just go do it but I'm scared. And that makes me a bad friend in my opinion! :(
But enough of that. Lets talk about something happy. So I went to see a Broadway show last week! I ended up seeing Wicked. It was so f***ing amazing!!!! O_O I love Broadway! I knew it was good but damn! Soooo amazing! I am definitely going to go back and see other performances! I so can’t wait to see Phantom of the Opera! That’s going to be amazing! XD Maybe I’ll watch Chicago next or Mama Mia next! ><
Oh and work is still going well so yeah. Other than that... nothing much else to say.
Really digging this quote!!
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller