Celebs! They're everywhere! ::shakesheadwubbadawubbada::

[ahedonia]

I just ran into/exchanged words with three celebrities in literally 5 minutes. Even for L.A., this is a bit much. (Are they out getting ready for the after-awards show parties for the awards shows that aren't actually happening? Cuz the parties still are, I hear.) Anyway:

• Natasha Gregson Wagner, Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner's daughter. And because I saw her in the tiny dressing room of the massage place I go to, I then got to see her as she took all her clothes off. (This is always a double "whoa." Isn't it enough we have to compare ourselves to them with their clothes on? Julie Delpy did this once to me, too. If I was a less-principled human with a camera phone, I could make money...) She asked me who did my massage and if she was good. (I said yes.) She is hauntingly tiny. The same one-size-fits-all robe I'm always grateful I fit into comfortably enough? The neckhole's so big on her that one side fell halfway down her upper arm. Her frame turns it into a Flashdance shirt. I am an ape.
  
• On the way out to the elevator, I pass Jason Issacs, who's getting out. Him I stop as politely as I can to say I'm consistently floored by the American (Rhode Island) tough guy accent he does on Brotherhood -- he just has it down. "Well, it's New England,," he automatically half-jokes, by way of explaining his ease with it. (Ah. Call me crazy, but I think he's said that before.) I babble another sentence or two as I notice 1) his eyes are crazy blue; 2) he's being nice but seems frazzled; 3) he looks no different than his character on the show - hair, clothes, grooming, identical; 4) his real accent is endearing; 5) he's tall and so rock-hard fit, he looks bulletproof. I take pity and let him loose of my geek tractor beam quickly.
  
• Then across the street, Angela Kinsey. She's ahead of me for the parking payment machine. She kinda doesn't count just because I've seen her before, which makes me think she's not hiding much (which now, what, negates her? I'm a loon. And an ape. An apey loon.) She is exactly one-half the height of her normal-to-tall female companion. She's Lilliputian.

And if you walked out of the house today with your body issues safely in check? My advice is not to run into three celebrity actors in five minutes. I'd lay down money I weigh more than all three of them put together.