Merlin oneshot
Title: It’s Not A Quest Unless I’m On It
Author: Reyn
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,629
Characters: Merlin+Arthur
Warnings: AUish for Arthur knowing about Merlin’s magic and stuff. Yeah, stuff.
Summary: Arthur is not at all pleased at the idea of Merlin gallivanting off to save the day without him.
It’s Not A Quest Unless I’m On It
“Merlin! Merlin!”
Slowly turning from his task of fluffing the pillows on Arthur’s bed, Merlin stared at the door, completely bewildered at what he could have possibly done this time around for the Prince to be in such a state.
The door flew open hard enough to bounce off the wall, nearly hitting Arthur as he stormed into the bedroom, seemingly at a momentarily loss for words now that he had actually found the man he had been looking for.
He quickly recovered, however, and pointed an accusing finger in Merlin’s direction. “You.” His growl was emphasized several times by his finger. “I don’t recall giving you permission for any of this.”
Glancing down at the pillow in his hand, Merlin gently lowered it to its rightful position on the bed.
“Okay…” Merlin drew out the word as he shuffled away from the bed, eyes darting around the cleaned room. He was fairly certain Arthur had made it perfectly clear that nothing had changed between them, meaning Merlin still had his duties as the Prince’s personal servant to fulfill. Unless Arthur was referring to the fact that he had mostly used magic to clean everything?
This was all still new territory to the both of them and while his powers as a sorcerer had been acknowledged and secretly embraced, it hadn’t exactly been decreed that the use of magic was once again welcome in Camelot just yet. And he still wasn’t entirely sure how Arthur felt about him using magic on all of his personal belongings.
Oh. Maybe that’s what was wrong.
“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t really ask for your permission before going ahead with any of that.”
Despite it being sincere, Merlin knew the apology sounded half-assed and did his best to look contrite as Arthur’s face tightened in anger.
“Oh really?” Arthur crossed his arms and turned his head away before glaring back at Merlin. “So you just…assumed that now that I know about your magic, I would not only be okay with your plans to go traipsing about the northern forest tomorrow in search of…” a vague hand gesture was made when Arthur failed to recall the name of the creature he was referring to “…whatever it is that’s been terrorizing the villages near there, and defeat it with your-” More hand waving. “All alone. And on the day of my coronation?”
“Oooh, that’s what we’re talking about.” A weight Merlin hadn’t realized was still on his shoulders lifted as a cheeky grin crept across his features. “Yeah, I don’t exactly recall asking your permission for that either.”
“Merlin!” Arthur never failed to look properly outraged at his servant’s insubordination, regardless of how constant it was. “It’s the day of my coronation!”
This time, Merlin did look shamefully away. He had argued with Gaius on that one. Missing Arthur’s coronation was the last thing he wanted to do, but when it came down to it, he absolutely needed the lack of light from the new moon tomorrow if he wanted any hope of banishing the creature back to wherever it was that it came from. He had even tried asking Gaius if maybe the villages could just…wait a month until the next new moon, so that he wouldn’t have to miss the biggest day of Arthur’s life.
The look he had been given effectively answered that question and put all future arguments to a complete close.
“Look, it’s not like you actually need me there! You’re a capable man! The crown will go on your fat head just fine without me. It’s not like me beaming at you from the audience is going to make all that much of a difference.” Merlin knew he was taking the wrong direction for this fight, but it was alright because he had a plan.
A plan that wasn’t exactly working because all Arthur was doing was crossing his arms and tightening his mouth to refrain from getting offended and arguing back how much of an idiot Merlin was before dishing out some stupid punishment and storming off to leaving him to his own devices.
In Merlin’s defense, such a strategy had always worked in the past.
“You…are the most…” Arthur seemed to be struggling for the right words through his rage and Merlin leaned in, wondering if he should help out with a few of his own suggestions. ‘Resourceful’ was a personal favorite of his. “…incompetent…stupid…big-eared-”
It was now Merlin’s turn to be completely outraged. “Hey! Now you-”
But Arthur was on a roll. “You can’t even wield a sword properly, regardless of the number of lessons I’ve tried shoving down your throat! What made you think it would be okay to go off alone to take down this thing by yourself?”
“I’ll have you know I’ve defeated plenty of magical beings without any help!”
“Liar.”
Merlin drew back in shock. He hadn’t expected that comeback. But then again, if he really thought about it, it was essentially true.
“Alright, fine,” Merlin allowed. “Yeah, I usually have help. And I’m sure the villagers will have someone who’s brave enough to lend a hand, should I need it.”
The look Arthur was giving him was eerily similar to one of Gaius’, lending credence to his theory that they sometimes conspired behind his back.
“You can’t ask the villagers to lay their lives out on the line for you like that!”
“Why not?” Merlin challenged. “They’ve been doing so every night since the creature showed up!”
He didn’t bother to try and stop the look of triumph from flashing across his face. He had just made a perfectly valid point and judging from Arthur’s sudden bout of twitchiness, the man knew it.
“You still can’t-…Not without some form of backup!” The Prince was pacing now and Merlin didn’t bother to stop himself from sitting down on the edge of the bed in obvious exasperation. “So many things could go wrong. You’ll need capable protection.” A hand was dragged through blond hair. “I should be there!”
Merlin’s jaw dropped at the same time a smile blossomed. “Aaaah, so that’s what this is really about.” Arthur’s glare was clearly telling him to shut up, but Merlin chose to ignore it. “You’re just jealous that I’m going on a quest…” he paused purely for dramatic effect, “…and you’re not.”
Arthur’s mouth remained open a bit longer than necessary before he was able to find his answer as he shook his head. “No! No, you’re completely missing the point.”
“No, I’m not.” Merlin’s grin was still there, but that was okay, because he didn’t see it disappearing any time soon. “You’re mad that I’ll be off on an adventure while you’ll be stuck here all day, wearing stuffy clothes and going through boring traditions and procedures, unable to blow off steam by ordering me around to do stupid chores for your entertainment.”
If Merlin didn’t know any better, he would say Arthur was actually sulking. “Is it so wrong for your future King to worry about your safety?”
Merlin shrugged off the concern so easily that Arthur frowned. “Nah, I’ll be fine. In fact, if you think about it, I’ve been thrown into more dangerous situations while in your company than on my own.” He leaned forward and slid off the bed, his eyebrows raised. “So, I think I’ll take my chances.”
“You-!” Arthur’s fists clenched as he visibly restrained himself. Turning on his heel, he headed towards the door before whirling around and taking several steps back towards Merlin. “You’re still not allowed to go by yourself. Ha!”
Merlin shrugged again. “Fine. Send Sir Gwaine with me.” He brightened. “Or Lancelot! Or both! This way I don’t have to choose!”
“No.”
Merlin’s shoulders slumped. “Well, fine then. Be selfish and keep all your knights to yourself. I didn’t want to share with you anyways. Not like I helped you find half of them in the first place. Alright, what about Percival? He’s…big.”
“No,” Arthur repeated.
“No?” Merlin echoed. “What do you mean no? You just said so yourself, I’ll need protection! It’ll be dangerous!” His eyes widened. “I could die!”
“Exactly,” Arthur agreed. “Which is why I’m not sparing you any of my knights.” Merlin failed to see the logic. “Because I’m forbidding you from going on this quest.” Ah, there was the logic.
“What?” That was the shittiest logic Merlin had ever- “What do you mean I can’t go? You can’t stop me from going!”
“Yes, I can.” Arthur’s finger was up again, but this time it was less accusing and more I’m-about-to-win-this-argument-and-here’s-why. “Because I’m your King, and I say so.”
Merlin’s mouth remained open as he tried to think of a good comeback. “You’re not my king yet.” For some reason, it sounded more like a question than a defying statement.
The argument obviously didn’t fly as Arthur turned to head back out the door without looking the slightest bit offended. “You’re still not going.”
“But there are people’s lives are at stake!” Merlin hurried after him, hand clutching the door frame as he hollered down the hall. “You can’t stop me! I’m still going! Arthur! Arthur!”
+
Merlin was still going.
It was barely the crack of dawn, and as he trotted sleepily down the corridor, doing his best to be stealthy in his half-awake state, he couldn’t help but think that everything about this just felt…off.
It had been weird, packing his bags late last night and not having to take Arthur’s needs into account. He had to turn around and put back several items when he realized they were things Arthur usually might have had a need for instead of himself.
It didn’t mean his bag was any lighter, though. Instead of shoe polish, a small nicked pot of honey from the kitchens, and other such useless travel trinkets designed for comfort rather than necessity, Merlin was now loaded up on potions, talismans, herbs, several books, and a double handful of healing salves. So, if anything, his pack was now heavier, and worse still, smelled funny.
And if that weren’t enough, he had spent most of the night tossing and turning because the funny-smelling bag had made him realize, dear God, he really was about to do this alone. What the hell had he been thinking, arguing with Arthur that he would be fine? This was dangerous! He needed backup he could trust! Not some…local villager full of bravado who would turn tail and run at the first sign of the creature approaching!
Merlin groaned to himself as he trodded down the steps at the castle’s entrance. Everything about this quest was going to suck. He was probably going to get robbed by bandits on his way there, make a fool of himself when trying to prove to the villagers that he really was their salvation, wish that Gaius was around at some point, magically defeat the creature through sheer luck and not his inherent talent, and then trip over an upraised tree root and fall and break his neck on his way back because there would be no one there to catch him.
Merlin pouted. He wanted Arthur.
Or Gwaine. Gwaine would do! Merlin immediately brightened as he saw the knight at the foot of the stairs, checking the saddles on two horses.
“Sir Gwaine!” he greeted in a hushed shout, practically skipping down the last two steps.
Gwaine looked over with a frown. “What have I told you about calling me ‘Sir’?” He gave a tug on one of the hooks, his hand absently reaching out in a silent demand for Merlin’s bag.
“…You always make me call you Sir,” Merlin said, passing over his belongings.
“Ah, Merlin.” Gwaine chanced a look around the empty courtyard before shooting his friend a grin. “Only when there are beautiful women around to woo and impress.”
Merlin couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling out of his chest and winced slightly when it echoed on the walls around him.
“So you’re coming with me then?” he asked, feeling loads better than he had just a few minutes before. Maybe Arthur wasn’t such a pickleface after all.
Now it was Gwaine’s turn to laugh. “Not on your life,” he answered.
“But…there are two horses,” Merlin pointed out, following Gwaine around to the other one as he checked its saddle. “And how would you have known to prepare them in the first place if-”
The sound of footsteps approaching prompted Merlin to turn around, where he saw none other than Arthur making his way down the staircase as he slipped on his riding gloves.
Merlin immediately stepped closer to his horse and gripped the reins. “I’m going and you can’t stop me.” He stuck his foot in the stirrup and clambered into his saddle, just to prove how serious he was.
Arthur merely pointed at him as he turned to address Gwaine instead. “See? What did I tell you?”
“I never should have doubted you, Sire,” Gwaine apologized with a smirk, handing off the reins of the spare horse to Arthur.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Merlin demanded, his narrowed eyes relaxing slightly in favor of confusion as Arthur mounted the horse beside him. “Where are you going?”
Arthur squinted off into the distance as he was prone to doing when explaining some concept he was sure would go over Merlin’s head. “I was up all night worrying about how my best friend is enough of an idiot to trip over a raised tree root and crack his head open or something while he’s off on this ridiculous adventure that he deems important enough to miss my coronation over.” He turned to face Merlin. “So to make sure that doesn’t happen, I’m going with you.”
Merlin found himself at a momentary loss for words. “A regular knight in shining armor, are you?”
Arthur scoffed. “Try several steps up from that.”
“But your coronation…”
“What about it?”
Merlin waved an arm at the banners and flowers that decorated the courtyard. “You can’t just cancel it the morning of because I’m an idiot!” he argued without really thinking.
“I’m about to be King, Merlin. I can do whatever I want.” Arthur gave his reins a light flick and his horse started forward. “Besides, I’m not canceling it, I’m merely postponing it. I’m sure everyone will understand.”
Merlin’s mouth hung open. He could think of at least four lords and three noblemen off the top of his head who would most decidedly not understand, but rather than argue, he simply grinned and nudged his own horse into motion.
This adventure was suddenly looking a lot more fun.
The End.
+
Epilogue:
“Why does your bag smell funny?”
Merlin shot Arthur a glare as he pulled it away from His Royal Pain In The Ass and over to his side of the campfire. “Well, I’m a wizard, now, aren’t I? Gaius made me pack magical…things.”
Arthur stared at him for a moment before snorting. “So? You were a wizard before and nothing about you ever smelled off.”
Merlin dropped his belongings and frowned up into the canopy. There was something very wrong about that statement. “Why are you even smelling my stuff in the first place?”
Arthur simply shrugged and failed to provide any form of an answer.
“Besides,” Merlin continued, looking down to rummage through one of the other bags for their lunch, “I’ve never really had the chance to smell off, have I? What with the amount of work you always gave me cleaning your stuff, I’m always bound to smell like you.” His head snapped up as a thought occurred to him. “Oh my God.” He turned to face Arthur. “Please don’t tell me this is my natural scent and all the chores you’re always giving me is to erase that scent and replace it with yours.”
Once again, Arthur failed to provide an answer, but the look he was giving Merlin pretty much summed up what he thought about such a theory.
The End for real this time.