Comments | ahoteluyu: "I like to sing and dance in the rain, because then no one can see how hard I cry..."

ahoteluyu

"I like to sing and dance in the rain, because then no one can see how hard I cry..."

Apr 16, 2005 20:44

Wow, it's been quite a while since I've been on this site. A lot has been going on. I've driven, now. And I haven't crashed into anything yet! Once I learn all the road rules, I'll be an old pro, lol. I've been having a hard time internally. I'm trying hard not to hate myself, or put myself down. You have no idea how much I hate being this self- ( Read more... )

Comments 4

_seraphima_ April 16 2005, 19:22:47 UTC

You're beautiful. And I'm not just saying that. I've seen you first thing in the morning, crying, screaming, red w/ laughter, all of it. And you were always beautiful. I'm talking really aesthetically pleasing. You're so funny, and have a wonderful sense of compassion. You're a deep thinker, and an awesome writer. You've got a gaze that makes strangers fall in love with you. Remember those summers when we walked down the street and we could count on two hands the amount of cars that honked. Well, I always knew it wasn't me, it never would be. But that's alright, I had your personality to distract me. You were always the pretty one, always. So don't question yourself. Because you're a good, overly-modest person, you'll never see yourself the way I do. It's one of those thins you've just gotta accept. I know we're not that close anymore, but if you need me I'm around. See ya when I see ya
B.

ahoteluyu April 16 2005, 19:54:30 UTC

Thank-you for that. I needed it. When you tell me that, I actually believe that you're sincere. You're the only person I do. Don't know why. It hurts to think that we're not that close anymore, but it's true. No matter what, though, you will always be one of my most cherished friends. And what the hell is all this talk of you not being pretty? Brittany Noel Spooner, you are a beautiful person. And I am deadpan serious. You don't see it, you never really have. Especially since you became a teenager, you've been more vocal with it. And I'm not just talking about looks, you have an amazing mind. No matter what the hell you think. I don't admire many people, but I do admire you. You used to be like a little sister to me. And I still love you like one. I hate seeing you hurt, do you know that? Sometimes when I see all that you're being put through, all that's being thrown at you, I just want to shelter you all from it. Protect you from it. And I'm never there. I never see you anymore, but you are always on my mind. I see you in the halls ( ... )

_seraphima_ April 17 2005, 11:16:25 UTC

That made em start crying. I get really lonely sometimes, and I pull out the dolls we used to play with. We had such good times. There's nothing in this world like the summers we spent together. This entire Milford/Derby thing sucks. I just wanna run down the street w/ you again and argue over which way is really the long way. I'm glad that you understand my honesty, I'm not bullshitting you, I really do think we make a great pair. I miss you so much *Sigh* Your damn dad gets to go to a movie with you before I do lol I'm sorry this week I have to go to FL to see my grandmother. But sometimes soon we should spen a few hours singing into hair brushes. The Supremes, man, good times.
B.

ahoteluyu April 17 2005, 15:47:30 UTC

I'm going to commit homicide on my damn computer! *takes deep breaths* I can't wait until I get a car in a few months, because then, you're never going to get rid of me. :-) I know you get lonely Brit, I see it. I see you everyday on my way out of homeroom, and sometimes you look up, others you don't. I need to get a louder voice, dammit. Working on that one, lol. Oh, and the supremes kickass! I'll definitely be there, for the hairbrush singing, and this time, you aren't going to steel my blush brush! :-p Ah, thought you might be going to FL. Well, try and have a good time, will you? I know you say you hate palm trees, but just this once, try and look at them as a good thing. A safe haven, almost? A chance for some breathing space. And when you're on that plane, enjoy the sky. It's an amazing thing, sometimes. Those summers are my most precious memories. They mean the most. I used to love summers, and you were the only reason. I had nothing else to look forward to, especially with my mother, and how she was at that time. I loved ( ... )