The Paradox of Male Identity & Bonding

[ahunter3]

So imagine that you're having a conversation with a male who identifies as a feminist. He sees patriarchy as a male alliance and his fervent disavowal of patriarchy as a breaking of that alliance. He's not with the men, he's a feminist

Comments

[kanzeon_2040]

It is always interesting and thought-provoking to read your stuff.

I was concerned when I saw you express how you felt "erased". It reminded me of something I've been thinking about lately, about how certain disagreements between people regarding identity politics have exploded into existential crises. For example, I would regularly see transgender people on Reddit say that Republicans want to "erase" them, and write as though their very existence depends on making sure Democrats win. Meanwhile, some TERFs claim that transgender women want to destroy what it means to be a woman and the ability to have safe spaces reserved for women. Certainly it is important to advocate for one's own needs and beliefs, but if somebody disagrees with you, that's just part of life, we'll never live in a world where 100% of people agree with us, and there will always be times when we disagree with some or most of the people who have power over us. A lack of utopia-on-earth is not the same as death.

It sounds like some people are conflating their

[ahunter3]

On the one hand, I don't think I'm particularly upset that I can't immediately get people to subscribe to my notions of who I am, or consider every reluctance to do so as a personal affront or anything. Gender is social, and that means it is always a negotiation, most often a political one.

But on the other hand, yeah, my gut-level emotional response was definitely to *feel* erased, to feel contradicted in what had been an assertion about how I understood myself.

I give myself Brownie points for considering the concept flung at me even if it did make me feel that way though.