[fic] Slow Me Down
Made at: 10/03/08
[Sequel] Slow Me Down
Title: Slow Me Down
Author: ai_happy4lucky
Pairing: PiN
Rating: PG 17+
Genre: angst emo
Summary: “Jin, if I walk to fast will you able to slow me down?” Yamapi had said to him back there. Jin realized he had to fulfill his promise. But with just minimal knowledge of the ground he about to step, can he?
Sequel from ‘Hidden Desire’, like just I told before, I just can’t leave it end like that duh! X) Got the title from the Emmy Rossum’s song. Hope I made a fine continue! (This is my first time making a sequel, Te-He…)
Slow Me Down
He found himself running and rushing in the first place. His legs like wasn’t his, it moves so fast and bring him run at the speed he didn’t ever imagine. He was moving so fast he forgetting his purpose. Blur of traffic send him spinning.
He was getting nowhere.
His head and heart are colliding, he wish he could stop pace of the world. He can’t keep up, whether he was walking too fast or world spinning too slow at his state. He just wished he could stop running. But his body betrayed him, it didn’t wanted to hear his request, and kept running.
He started falling apart.
He fall so deep he can’t even turning back, can’t climb back to his place, if he own such a place.
He soon started forgetting his need to take a breath, he thought he need to sleep but he doesn’t stop running. It’s fine if somebody tackled him now and made him stop. Because he tired of rushing and running. He tired to live a lie.
He wished somebody will take his hand and lead him. Slow him down. Cause he ready to fall even deeper. He needs someone, but he can’t let that someone take place beside or behind him, he afraid they might get hurt from keep up in the same pace as he do. He needs a lead. But he didn’t want them to be tired from leading him.
Then the thing he can do to prevent the people from this situation is just shooed them away. Because he was too persistent to stay in his way, have no intentions to go outside even part of him wanted to. Afraid to break them along with him.
He just to kind for people’s good.
-----------------------------
It was late at night, and he was in his room, still in his clothes that he wore to work that day. All the time Jin was thinking about that night’s incident, an undefined feeling had climbed up on his back, clutching his heart. His heart hurt seeing Yamapi like that, all that scars…Wound him inside out.
Yamapi didn’t go to work today, when he asked Ryo, he only said: “He sent Koyama a text message, said he sick. True or not, I don’t know” Jin assumes Ryo had realize something had wrong about last night when Ryo shot him a look, ask for explanation. But then he decided it best for those two to solve their own problems, “You know, I always have my ears open” Ryo have said before left Jin to do some work. But the message is clear: I will help with all I can if you need it. And Jin greatly thankful for that.
Jin understands very well that the relationship between Yamapi and himself is really in an ambiguous right now. He knows that their relationship has a crack on it, and Yamapi is the person that refuses to fix that crack. He understands how fragile his relationship with Pi was. So fragile that one little motion or undulation could break them apart.
No matter what kind of relationship two people hold, one person has to be the initiative, and open the door to the other’s heart. If no one takes the initiate open the door to the other person’s heart, nothing will become of the relationship. Jin understands very well of that, but Yamapi restrained Jin from being the one opening his door. His reasons behind that are even intangible to himself. He could not figure out what Yamapi’s heart wants or needs.
This made him hard to try to pull Yamapi away from that dark place.
Jin leaned back on his couch, sigh and loosening his muscles. His thought draw him to past, recollect his memories when two of them together in his room. Searching perhaps there’s something, something Yamapi have say, to be some sort of hint, clue to fix their relationship.
“Jin, if I walk to fast will you able to slow me down?”
That was Yamapi had said a long time ago, before the accident, before anything disturb their relationship.
He asked casually, but Jin can catch the deep meaning inside of it, a small wish and hope he cling into. Yamapi’s head was tilting down, read a magazine. Jin was beside him, half lying on his belly. He needed no second to think the answer.
“Of course I’ll be able to! You can count on me!” Jin had said back there, even pulled his friend into a playful but wholehearted embrace. He did struggle for first time, but give in inside Jin’s embrace anyway. Jin can still remembered how sweet Yamapi’s smile, Jin can still remember how in Yamapi’s eyes he saw only joy and happiness, because he had support, a place to lean onto, and he didn’t have to be alone again. That’s the time when Jin decided he’ll always be there to protect Yamapi from anything He knew Yamapi wasn’t a girl, everyone can tell, but Jin was his bestfriend for nothing. He knew deep inside Yamapi was a fragile personal.
“Jin, if I walk to fast will you able to slow me down?”
Slow me down…
Was he walking too fast? Jin didn’t really understand what he meant back there, but knew that Yamapi hoped highly for him. To slow him down. To take his hand and made him able to walk slower.
Was he walking to fast?
Jin widen his eyes in realization, his mouth was half open.
“Pi…”
Snatched his jacket, he quickly ran out over his door.
****
Leaning on the edge in the front part of couch, Yamapi sigh again, panting after successfully throb his left arms again, with a few cut after. Oh God, sleeping pills definitely didn’t help anymore. He needed a stronger dose.
Cutting…He wondered since when he get addicted by do it once. Well, perhaps you’ll easily get addicted with cutting yourself. That’s why if somebody said, “Stop that!” it’s plainly useless, because he cannot stop that easily. He might felt ashamed when he cut himself, but that’s the point when he angry at himself because his own weakness and yes, cut himself again. Yet he can only recognize what he had done by looking at the scars later on. Usually he forget what he has exactly done, maybe because he part his mind and body, one part watching while the other hurt himself.
He thought recently, maybe he have a borderline, which made him hard to split the real and imagination. That’s why he began to feel like he lost each part of himself one by one, slowly, in every dream he got, in every breath he takes.
The doorbell rang. He tried to ignore it. The person started to knock on the door. Yamapi didn’t mind it. His world was like only in his head. But that’s just before…
“Pi?”
Yamapi snapped his head, looking at Jin who already inside his apartment, in the edge of the door in his room for exact place. His face was filled with disapproval and looks like he wanted to look away as he just looked at moment he didn’t have to see.
With fully comprehend of Jin’s look, Yamapi felt an urgent of sudden anger.
“With all many random people to showed up, why it’s you? And why did you here anyway? How did you come in?” Yamapi said, failed to cover his frustrated.
“I have the copy of your key, right?” Jin said before he gulped when he saw those bloods from Yamapi’s wrist. Jin pulled his jacket off and threw it on the couch near him. Then go to the bathroom. Yamapi wonders why he didn’t even mad at him, or at least said something. There’s sound of water pour from inside bathroom-he quickly remembered his previous dream, a quiet place with only pour of water from the fountain heard in his ears and he stood there by himself.
Then the sound stopped, left only a little residue of water to pour down after. Yamapi wondered what did Jin doing inside, that’s when he felt a warm towel wrapped his wrist, and he tipped his head up just to saw only care that reflected in Jin’s eyes. Yamapi’s face softened in that moment, but quickly changes to dull expression once again. Jin’s hand was shivering but firm. Yamapi was about to slap that hand away, hate to be pitied, but when he felt the warm of the towel was comforting enough, he turned down his act. And decided silence as the best option.
After a minute of silent, just when Jin about to open his mouth to make another sentences, “Did you just poured it with hot water?” Yamapi said, almost like a whisper “Because it feels so warm”
Of course it is, Jin thought, but he kept still, pressed his hands against the towel that wrapped Yamapi’s arm, gave no answer. Letting the younger boy to blabber out, “If you want to stop bleeding, use cold stuff” Yamapi said nonchalantly as he just give advice to five years old kid.
Jin opened his mouth and closed it, opened it again just to close it again, look unsure of what he said, “Your arm…is already cold” he said finally, his mimic and expression was just like small helpless kid that was in the middle of his parents fight, didn’t know whatever word to say, “It’s cold…”
The younger man looked at him in unexplainable look, his soft spot for Jin, a small place in his heart that contains a complicated feeling that always made him compliant when it comes to the older man, it was probably still existed inside him. And now Yamapi felt it begins to climb up wildly in a pace that he couldn’t stop. He looked away, he can’t give in this easily.
“You are idiot” he really didn’t mean to say like that, he should be keep quiet, but it seems even his own feelings and words betrayed him. He blinks twice when he realized his stupidity to give in words like that. A simple mocking words that he always say a long time ago to the slightly older man, when they were young and untouchable by world general.
“Why'd you come here?” Yamapi asked again. Jin thought: oh wow, he talked a lot today.
“I have to fulfill my promise” Jin replied without shaky tone, “…aren’t I?” he add. Oh crap, why must he add those last words? It will make Yamapi doubt him, right?
Yamapi stared at Jin, “So you do remember” he said blankly-Jin mentally thought, oh, seems like he didn’t, at least fully doubt him after all-“When you left to America I thought you didn’t remember”
Jin wanted to yelled but the bleeding boy made him bit back his word, “I think you forget” he said, his voice somewhat broken, “I really think you have” he looks like about to cry, but Jin see no tears float in his eyes. Jin didn’t know Yamapi had tired to cry all night, so he let his tears dry up, or maybe he hold his tears for so long. So that’s why when he cried last night he felt a little relieved yes, but ashamed in the same time.
“I didn’t, that’s why I came, right?” Jin said whole-heartily. Yamapi rolled his eyes to stared dagger at Jin with half-doubt-half-relieved look.
“What…” Jin started, “exactly that you see in your dreams?” he asked, his tone was soft and gentle, without any meant to forcing the younger one in front of him.
Yamapi eyes gone empty but his lips form long words that he kept inside until now, “When love and like turned into addicting, madness started to snapped, wake from his long dreams. It whispered a sick idea continually which hard to comprehend. Fragile soul will devour into madness, started to walk on the wrong rail. Became too sensitive, covering all senses so the fact and reality didn’t expose in front of his face. I trapped inside my dream world, my Neverland, which so abstract and same, so monotonous, but walk so fast. Just therapist songs that can make me walk slower, cool me down in every rhythms and lyrics. But when I get bored, the songs started to lose its effects and it can’t wake me up again. Humanity started to walk away from my side, I need an oblivion, place to poured down my pain, pain that addicting, sadistic”
He said all those words like he was in trance, his eyes were truly empty, stared on ceiling unfocusedly as his lips blurts out his emotion, Jin watched this scene in shocked, almost scared and an urgent to leave that place flashed slightly in his mind, but still, he kept grabbing his bestfriend’s wrist that no longer bleeding below towel that almost dry.
“I need to step on a new ground, a more optimistic world. But I already fall to deep, already walk too fast. I began to realize that I can’t if I alone. I need someone. But I don’t want to hurt them,” he rolled his head and adjusted his eyes so it gaze straight to Jin, “I don’t want to hurt you” his tone was like someone who about to be executed, knew his death was inevitable but still he pleaded for mercy even though he knew it was in vain.
“I won’t be hurt by just helping you…” Jin said, “I don’t understand…”
The younger man gave a small chuckle, can’t believe Jin can be so stupid, but he himself is complicated after all, “Truth can be elusive” he said wisely.
“I want to help you” Jin said frankly. Well, that’s Jin that Yamapi always knew, he felt a little glint of happiness because realizing the fact Jin didn’t totally change.
“I might hurt you” he warned.
“I completely aware with that” he said sternly.
Seeing Jin’s eyes that stared him, candid and purely kind, Yamapi can’t say no to him. Ah, this is Jin that he love, a frank and honest Jin with an expressive eyes that he always like. He realized as well he was already depended too much on Jin he can’t even erase that guy from his mind. But that kind of feelings was also burdened him. He told himself he can’t be like this, he can’t let anyone involve inside his circle of madness. He didn’t want anyone to get hurt. That’s why he attacked Jin’s most lovable friends, screwed with him, to made Jin turned him down and Yamapi can walked away naturally without Jin acknowledge it.
Gazing inside Jin’s eyes, Yamapi said again, “I didn’t meant to hurt you”
Not like he expected, Jin snorted and said, “It’s fine, I know that”
Yamapi saw the tears that were forming in Jin’s eyes.
“Why does it appear that you are about to cry?”
He tried pushing back the tears.
‘ Pi…’
“It hurts…to hear what you suffered through. Hearing you describe those things…all the pain…the ascending madness. It’s as though I can feel what you must have gone through. And it hurts me so much,” he said, tears starting to run down his cheeks, “to know that you had to deal with something so horrifying…because…”
Jin started to break down into deep sobs, his head turned down as the tears ran down his face and dropped into his lap. Yamapi stared at him for a few moments before placing a hand underneath Jin’s chin, tilting his head up. Using the pad of his thumb, he wiped the tears away until Jin’s crying ceased.
Sniffling one last time, Jin’s hands moved to grab Yamapi’s arms, pulling them closer to his body. Yamapi was surprised that he was not as uncomfortable with the sudden contact as he expected he would be.
“I can’t bear the thought of you suffering like that…ever…”
Jin looked at him straight in the eyes and Yamapi couldn’t help but avert his gaze to his lap.
‘The look in his eyes…they are too honest…too kind…’
Suddenly, Yamapi felt Jin release his arms and move closer to him. Yamapi closed his eyes at the feel of Jin’s hand pressed against his cheek, causing a warm feeling to spread where his hand was touching it. He turned into it, relishing the feeling.
‘It’s the same as that time…when he usually linked arms with me back there…this warmth,’ he recalled.
His fingers slowly traced the lines of Yamapi’s cheekbones and he resisted the urge to shudder. Suddenly, Jin’s hands left his face and they wrapped themselves around his neck, the rest of his body closely pressed against him. Yamapi’s arms were at his sides awkwardly and his body began to tremble slightly.
“I do not want your pity,” Yamapi told him coldly.
Jin looked up at him and smiled softly, his eyes filled with warmth.
“It’s not pity,” Jin said, pulling himself up.
Jin lifted himself slowly, ever so slowly, until his lips were closer to man in front of him. Yamapi moved his arms and gripped the older boy’s shoulders, holding him in place before he could move any further.
“…Don’t,” he whispered, almost pleadingly.
It was too much for him, too much emotion. He knew that if he let Jin do what he was planning on doing, that things would never be the same again. He would never be the same again.
“Ssh…don’t be afraid,” Jin whispered back to him.
Yamapi’s grip on Jin’s shoulders loosened and Jin began to move closer and closer. Their lips were millimeters apart now and they could feel each other’s uneven breathing on their faces, coming out in pants. Both of their eyes were half closed. Jin could hear his heart beating erratically. Yamapi could feel a small trail of sweat making its way down the back of his neck.
Slowly, he closed the distance between them and, closing their eyes, their lips touched.
There was a small part of Yamapi, in the back of his mind, that had been reminding him that they were bestfriend, not less. A relationship between the two of them would be impossible. But Yamapi didn’t throw Jin of and get as far away from him, he let Jin change him. Weaken him. The moment Jin’s lips touched his, that part of Yamapi had been destroyed completely. After a moment, Yamapi moved his hands to wrap them around Jin’s waist.
They stayed like this, with Jin’s hands wrapped around his neck and his arms wrapped around Jin’s waist, for a few moments before they pulled away. Jin moved his head to rest it on Yamapi’s shoulder and let out a content sigh.
‘Finally…’ he thought.
“What did that kiss mean?” Yamapi asked out of the blue.
Jin grinned sheepishly, his cheeks turned bright red, “I like you more than friend…I guess”
Yamapi blinked, “Are you sure?”
“Do you need some conviction?” he teased.
Yamapi made a genuine smile, “Then made me”
Without think twice, Jin kissed him again softly.
That night, for the first time after many months, Yamapi fell into a deep slumber in minutes. Jin’s protective presence proved to be a stronger sedative than any pill for Yamapi.
-----------------------------
It had taken about a week for Yamapi to get used to all of the things that his new life required. It wasn’t that it had been difficult to get used to, it was more that it was an inconvenience to him, especially compared to his life before that did not require many kind of emotion to express beneath his mask…less emotion and less other requirements that were bothersome. The worst of it all was that he was beginning to feel a lot…warmer than he usually did, especially around a certain brown haired boy called Akanishi Jin. Every time his hand touch his or his body would brush by accidentally, that spot would feel like it was burning. Every time, Yamapi would close his eyes and relish the feeling a second before he continue on with his routine as normal.
His routine was same, for the most part. However, the evenings, when Jin would return home from work and tell him about his day made it brighter somehow. It wasn’t until after dinner that thing became much more…enjoyable.
It would start out with Jin doing his work and him helping, or just commenting as usual. They would be talking about some random topic-most part are ‘genius’ talk, Ryo would said- that they had managed to bring up until suddenly Yamapi found Jin’s hand on top of his and saw him staring at him. Then suddenly, he could feel his body moving closer to his as their lips pressed together once again. His arms would be wrapped around Jin’s waist and his would be around Yamapi’s neck or his hands would be pressed against Yamapi’s chest ever so softly.
It was a Friday night and they once again found themselves in this same scenario. But for now Jin was finishing up the final touch of his cooking while Yamapi watched him. Jin was used to know danger in the kitchen, but unusually, he was doing quite well by himself, so there was no need for Yamapi to correct the chops or others.
He watched as Jin’s hand moved across the stove and put the fire off and then Yamapi moved his hands to cover Jin from behind. The older boy look surprised for a second but unconsciously leaning himself in Yamapi’s embrace. He only needed one hand to turned Jin’s body while his other made its way into the brown hair, pulling him closer. Closing their eyes, their lips touched. They thought that it would have been repetitive by now and yet, the energy from every kiss they shared felt the same as the first. Yamapi’s arms wrapped themselves around his waist and Jin’s arms found their way to his neck.
It was the same as it had been for the last few days until his tongue traced the line of his lips. Jin gasped softly, his hands clenched Yamapi’s shirt before he opened his mouth. He slid his tongue in, gently grazing every area of Jin’s mouth. After a minute, Jin did the same, tracing his movements exactly while letting out a low moan as their tongues touched and slide against one another in a slow and agonizing manner.
His hands slid from Jin’s waist to sneak over his clothes and rest upon his upper thighs, creating small circles in the flesh beneath his hand. He felt Jin shudder slightly but pull closer to Yamapi as his hands began to make its way down his chest, moving his hands against them lightly. Wrapped his hands around Jin’s waist, Yamapi led Jin up on the counter and continue the make-out session with new adjustment. That way Jin’s hand can explore Yamapi’s body easily and that work on his lover as well. They continued like this for a few minutes before the two parted, panting to try and catch their breath while they stayed in that position. Both their eyes were glazed over and their faces were flushed.
“Jin…” he whispered, not needing to say anything else.
Jin nodded and they kissed. He covered Jin around the waist again and his palm pushed the older man, ordered him softly to get down from the counter. Feeling Jin’s legs wrap and grinds around his waist, Yamapi repressed a groan from escaping. Jin’s hands made their way to his shirt, slowly unbuttoning it. Somehow, he managed to walk to bedroom and close the door behind him with a click.
-----------------------------
He could see the monochrome world that was his dream in front of him, behind him, everywhere. Glancing around at the water fountain behind him that poured water over and over again, he realized once again he was in his Neverland.
He wandered around aimlessly for what seemed like hours and then stopped to rest under one of the trees. Resting up against it, he analyzing the situation.
’I’m back in this place’ He thought, trying to makes sense of what was going on, ‘but, I am not the one I was anymore, should be…So why I am here again?’
Standing up, he looked around himself only to find nothing but silent surrounding him. He sighed and was about to start walking again, where he was headed he wasn’t sure, when he heard a voice from behind call out to him.
“Yamashita Tomohisa”
He turned around quickly and saw himself, or rather he said, his other self, his doppelganger or whatever people called it, with a smile on his face. Yamapi could feel the rage boil in him at this sight. He prepared to attack him when he heard his twilight tsk ever so softly while shaking his head.
“You’re scared, aren’t you? Terrified even. Of yourself.”
His doppelganger’s eyes peered into his own and Yamapi felt a great sense of discomfort grow in him. It was as though he was looking straight into him and reading all his thoughts. Thoughts that he himself never wanted to think about as long for as he lived.
“Yet…” he continued, “You still kept that guy beside you. Even you know better than anyone what the consequences is”
Yamapi gulped, “I don’t have another choice. I have to recover. Or at least I tried to”
“You are scared, I know. However,” he peered in Yamapi’s eyes, his smile curved smirk then continue again, “I can take all that fear away. I can promise you a life without it.”
“What do I have to do?” he felt himself answer, as though he had no control of his body.
Yamapi saw his smile widen considerably before he placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I will make you more powerful than you could ever imagine. I could tell even from afar that you are a strong being,” he replied. “How powerful will you become when you transform into the likes of me? All you have to do in return…is welcomed me in inside of you”
Yamapi glared at him, “I understand. You will be inside of me, you and you alone,” he heard himself say as he bowed slightly. He could feel a sense of disgust wash through him from the action.
“Good,” his twilight murmured softly, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. “Well, before we begin, why don’t you kill that man? You’ll not need him after all…And I sure he’ll be an obstacle, for us, in the future…”
Yamapi’s eyes widen.
He saw his twilight reveal something from behind his back. He looked down and saw in his doppelgangers arms a man, dark brown hair, and brown eyes with tears forming in them at an alarming rate.
Suddenly, it all made sense. He was about to transform and let the form that look similar to him to come inside him, to be one. And he didn’t need Jin to be beside him, his twilight told so. He had to kill him or else this pact will never be happen. Yamapi could feel himself shake once again. He traced the line of his tears with his finger and heard Jin cry out.
“Here,” his twilight or his doppelganger said, placing Jin down on the ground. “Enjoy.”
Yamapi stared at his twilight and then at Jin and then back at then his twilight again.
‘No. I cannot. How could he even suggest something as depraved as this?’
But then he felt his body move closer to Jin’s and knelt down, He ran his finger through Jin’s hair and heard his screams as they became more intense with each passing moment. Yamapi could feel the sadistic bar in him grow to unimaginable levels and he felt his head dip down close to Jin and begin to consume his soul. He tasted sweet, so sweet, and he knew that he could not control himself any longer. He continued to eat, hearing Jin’s creams of terror and feeling his sweetness diffuse into every part of his being. In the background, he could hear his twilight’s cruel, mocking laugh.
-----------------------------
He awoke with a start, his eyes popping open. He could feel his heart beating in his chest rapidly and feel the sweat that covered his body. Yamapi took a few deep breaths to calm himself.
‘It was just a dream,’ he told himself.
Some part of him pointed out that what he had was not a dream, it was a nightmare. He shook his head, feeling slightly foolish for having been so worked up about something that hadn’t happened in the first place. Yamapi tried to pull himself up only to find that something was weighing him down. He looked down and saw Jin sleeping contently beside him peacefully, hand cling on his waist.
He felt Jin’s sigh lightly and snuggle closer to him, pressing his body even closer to him than before. Yamapi could feel the warmth make its way to his cheeks.
‘That’s right. We…did that,’ thought Yamapi. Although he had done it before with the man beside him, but the way they did last night was completely different. It was gentler and carefully as they just did it for the first time. He even got yelled from Jin, “If you don't stop treating me like a little fucking virgin girl, I will fuck you instead!” And with his irritated growl, hair falling and covered his wild, desperate, hungry eyes, Yamapi can’t argue with that. But the thing that made it special last night was because they both wanted to do it, based on love and passion.
Or, at least, he tried to think. It was hard to concentrate when a certain brown haired man insisted on stroking his leg against his. He used his hand to brush a few stray hairs away from Jin’s face, causing him to sigh once again. A few moments later, Jin opened his eyes, blinking a few times to remove the sleep from them. Yawning, he looked up at Yamapi and smiled.
“Good morning, Pi.”
“Good morning, Jin,” he replied, wondering if he should tell about his dream.
‘No. It’s a waste of time.’
Jin pulled himself up, he looked at his lover’s face and his eyebrows curled slightly.
“What’s wrong? You look upset about something?” he figured while Yamapi let out a quick breath.
“It’s not important, but…” he added quickly, noticing Jin’s glare, “…since you wish to know, I will tell you. I had a dream…a nightmare, more accurately, about…twilight of me. He offered me a bargain to make me live a life without scared…And…”
Jin stared at him for a few seconds, waiting.
“And…” Jin said, noticing that he wasn’t about to continue.
“You were there. He gave you to me so that I could kill you…Said you will be an obstacle. And I did. I consumed your soul, even though I could hear your screaming and yet, the only aspect that I could acknowledge was that…you tasted sweet,” he replied, averting Jin’s gaze.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Without warning, Jin took Yamapi’s head between his hands and, brings it down, placed a gentle kiss on forehead. Yamapi lifted his head to stare at Jin, very confused.
“It was a nightmare,” Jin explained, “I know that you would never do something like that. The fact that you are so disturbed by it is proof.”
Yamapi’s burden lift for a second but his thought drifts into another else…He could change drastically by being touched by Jin, so far as he acknowledge, it has to be Jin and Jin only. If he walked away from him then he will be all alone like he had experienced back there. Alone and fragile again. He really doesn’t want that. He can’t bear that feeling anymore. True he had shout Jin out not only a few times, because he care about him. But now, have Jin in his arms, let him slowly change him in his own way, he felt like he doesn’t wanted to be leave by anyone anymore. It’s just…horrible.
“Jin,” Yamapi started, “If…If you had no passion on me anymore, would you turned me down?”
Jin stared at him for a moment, “Of course not, but still, I can’t guarantee anything for next ten years,” Yamapi’s gulped as he averting his gaze, “However, we can still continue as friends. I can still always watch you and take care of you. I will always slow you down when you think you walk to fast…and all” he said and grinned sheepishly, look embarrassed of what he had said.
“Why are you so certain? You sound so confident that if we break up we still can pursue relationship as bestfriend…” heard a dubious tone.
“If it’s rooted on friendship, we can continue on the rest of our lives as friends” he explained, “I think…Doesn't a relationship that starts off with passion and end with friendship sound really cool?”
Yamapi considered blink a second and made an amused smile before poke Jin in the head, “You are idiot” and flash his trademark grin.
Jin yelled but didn’t attack back anyway, instead he yawn again, “We should go back to sleep. It’s early.”
Yamapi looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:32 in the morning. Settling back into bed, Jin wrapped his arms around Yamapi while he rested his lover’s head on his chest. Yamapi could feel Jin’s fingers as they ran through his hair, stroking lightly. Softened by the older man act, Yamapi moved his hands to wrap Jin’s waist and relaxing himself. He heard the beat of Jin’s heart and breathed in his sweet, relaxing scent before dreamless sleep came upon him.
Sleeping like a child of nature, it’s like he had no burden anymore. Because Jin had fulfilled his promise. At least for now, he sure he can sleep tightly for today and the other next days. Because he didn’t has to worry anymore. Jin will always be there for him and take care of him as he did so.
-END-
Finished at: 17/03/08
A.N:
Okay…It REALLY took time longer than I expected, stupid me, didn’t aware of school stuff that begin annoyed me so much recently…But still in the end, I glad this fic finished anyway…
The genre, moods and all is difficult to write than I thought, but, I still hope I made a good end for this story! Thanks for the readers!! XD