Dear Diary 11-12/17
Title: Dear Diary
Warnings: Slash, college AU
Pairings: Russia/America, minor France/Canada and a few others
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. You'll see; just read his diary.
Eleven
March 18th
So I got a job today. Ironically enough, it's at that Italian place that stupid jerk who won't talk to me anymore and I had dinner last month. I should have guessed it was the place Feliciano told me about though; Italian people, Italian restaurant… Yeah. Lucky me, I can now say good-bye to my weekends. I have practice every Saturday morning, and then work from five to ten, and then on Sunday I have practice from one to three, and then work from five to nine.
Thanks Mom. Since I hated sleeping and having a social life, this is just the best!
Anyways, Lovino was there (his Uncle owns the place so sometimes him and Feliciano help out) and he was being his usual sour self until Antonio, Feliciano, and Ludwig walked in. Then his bitchiness went through the roof. He stormed into the kitchen and refused to talk to anyone. I felt bad for Antonio; he had no idea what was going on. Feliciano followed him and tried to talk to him, but I'm pretty sure Lovino threw a can of tomatoes at him. One of the big ones. And I kind of want to ask him what's going on, but I'm afraid he might try to kill me, too.
Ok I'm seriously just killing time here. I sort of thought that Iv- Braginski would have called me by now with a "Haha I was just kidding! You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm too creepy and persistent, da!" but he hasn't.
…But I bet he will.
This is probably just one of his mind games and I'm not going to fall for it and call him first or something.
Not that I'd ever call him.
Later
Ok but for real why hasn't he called yet.
Later
Ugh. This is really starting to piss me o- oh wait. Someone's at my door. Ha! I bet it's him.
Later
It wasn't Braginski.
It was fucking better than Braginski- it was Arthur!
Course I thought he just came by to pick a fight or make fun of me, so when I saw who it was I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame with this "what the fuck do you want?" expression on my face while Arthur furrowed his massive brows and refused to look at me. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest like he always does when he doesn't like the situation, and stuck his nose in the air.
"Matthew said you wanted to talk to me," he said haughtily.
I blinked a few times, completely shocked. "Wait, you and Matt talked?"
His shoulders deflated a bit and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Erm, yes," he said. "We've been on speaking terms for a while. There really was no point in my staying angry with him."
His reference to the whole "I like Francis and you're a shit friend don't talk to me" deal left us both unsure of what to say next, and we fell into an awkward silence for the next few moments.
Arthur recovered first. He cleared his throat and straightened his sweater. "Right. So, was there anything you needed to tell me?" he asked.
I shook my head no. After all, I hadn't gone to Matthew.
He pursed his lips and turned around. "Well, then I'll just be-"
I put a hand on his shoulder, silencing and stopping him in his tracks. I really didn't know what I was doing, I just knew that I was sick of fighting and not talking. So I said, "I didn't break my promise. I never told a soul."
I don't know what he was thinking since I couldn't bring myself to look at him, but he said, "I know."
After a minute I chanced a glance at him and he chanced a glance at me and we both cracked a smile.
"If you think I'm going to apologize then you're sadly mistaken," he said gruffly. "You've really got to work on your communication skills!"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever! I'm not saying I'm sorry either cause you were a real jerk about the whole thing!"
And then I stepped to the side and he came in and I asked if he wanted to play Devil May Cry and he said no and asked if I was hungry and I said hell no and it was like thirty-eight days of fighting had never happened.
Later
Not that I had been counting or anything.
Later
Man it's good having that stuffy little Brit around. I missed making fun of his clothes and picking on his weird spelling and bribing him to "speak American". He is never allowed to be mad at me for more than a few hours from now on. Not talking totally sucked. It was like, I had over a month's worth of stories and grievances and gossip and happy thoughts and zombie survival plans just dying to get out, but he can't think as fast as I can talk (which is really his own problem) so it really sucked having to pick and choose the most important things, since he was only giving me a two minute time limit for each topic.
He is a real prick like that.
So anyways, I told him about how Braginski kept stalking me, and how he told everyone we were dating, and how he made me spend Valentine's Day with him and how Natalia tried to kill me until I convinced her that we weren't dating and how his life totally sucks and how it's not fair that his family is so lame and how they ought to treat him better because really he's not all that bad and how he's being a jerk and not talking to me.
He just looked at me completely horrified.
"What?" I asked.
"Good Lord you've gone and fallen for that creepy bastard, haven't you?" he asked.
And so what if I blushed? It wasn't like it was a "oh my gosh you discovered my secret!" blush. It was totally a, "No! Holy shit that's gross!" blush.
So, just to help with the distinction, I said, "No! Holy shit that's gross!"
Arthur looked at me skeptically. "Alfred, your ears have gone all red round the edges. There's no point denying it."
"But I don't. What the hell! I don't!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
"Man, fuck you."
Arthur laughed and proceeded to do a really bad impression of me. "'Oh, Ivan! You're so hand-"
And that was when I tackled him. I was gonna give him a noogie or something since he was being such a big asshole, but I settled for a hug instead.
"I really, really missed you, you stupid asshole."
"You too, you big git." Arthur said, giving my back a proper, awkward pat, but I know he missed me too, cause he didn't shove me off like he usually would have.
Later
I just went by Francis's room and, ignoring Gilbert, the piano guy, and the creepy camera woman, gave Mattie the biggest hug ever and told him that he was the bestest brother anyone could ask for. He smiled and asked if me and Arthur had made up. I said yes. He hugged me back and was super happy too, but said the weirdest thing.
"Don't thank me, thank Ivan."
I raised a brow. "Why?"
He scratched the back of his head and blushed. "Well, a few days ago he came by asking me what would make you happy, and I told him that fixing things with Arthur would, so he suggested that I trick the two of you into talking."
I blinked a few times, taken aback.
Elizabeta sighed and got all sparkly-eyed. "Just like Mr. Darcy!"
Whoever that is.
March 19th
Braginski ignored me in class today, which pissed me off because I owe him a thank you. And I really don't want to be in his debt for long, but no matter what I did, he wouldn't look at me! I even went out of my way to accidently drop my homework that had really bad scores on it in front of him. He didn't even give it a passing glance. And when I told him that he still had to tutor me because Coach said so, he told me that other arrangements had been made!
Well fine. I was gonna try to be his friend, but whatever.
If he wants to be a loner, that's fine by me. I don't care.
Later
And it's like, not that I care, but I can't even talk to Arthur about it, cause he'll make fun of me! I don't even think he believes me when I say that me and Braginski never dated, that douche.
Later
So Lovino just demanded that we let him stay in our room tonight, but like hell am I going to allow that again. Last time he stayed over I didn't get any sleep. So I told him just that, and then he had to go look like a kicked puppy. Of course that worked on Matt, who has this thing for anything even remotely cute, but I stood my ground.
"Why can't you just man up and talk to Antonio!" I said, exasperated. "It's obvious you're mad at him!"
That stupid Italian sneered at me. "Like you're one to give advice; you can't even figure out your own relationship, don't tell me what to do!"
My eye twitched. What did he mean by "my relationship?"
I decided I didn't want to know and didn't comment on that remark.
I looked to Matt for support, but he looked away. Stupid pacifist. Then I turned to Arthur, who had been reading the paper, and cleared my throat.
"What?" he asked.
"A little back up?" I hissed.
He went back to reading. "I'll let you children duke it out," he said.
My roommates fucking suck.
March 20th
So it's like, 1:30 AM right now, and Lovino is actually… being quiet. Which is weird. What is he doing? Why isn't he yelling at his phone and acting like a big baby and keeping me awake like usual?
Well I guess he's still keeping me awake, but it's just because I keep expecting to hear his phone hit my door and it's not. Which is weird. I'm gonna investigate.
Later
Dude. I just cracked my door open a bit and when he heard me he gasped and then got all silent so I laughed and apologized for "interrupting" him and he sniffled and told me to fuck off. I think he's crying.
Later
Why is he crying?
Later
You know what? Lovino is the world's biggest bitch. See if I ever try to help him out again.
I felt kinda bad for him, even if he had been a little shit earlier, so I asked him if he wanted me to make him some of Arthur's tea, since it's supposed to help you calm down, but he just told me to fuck off again. So then I asked him if he wanted to talk and he told me to mind my own business. So then I asked him if I'd been right about him being upset with Antonio and he blew up at me!
"Yes, it's about that fucking bastard! He can't think of anyone but himself, but why am I telling you this?" he scowled. "You're just as bad- no, you're worse! I don't know how Ivan stands you."
"This again? What the hell, Lovino," I narrowed my eyes and dropped the friendly tone. "I'm just trying to help. Don't drag Braginski into this; he has nothing to do with anything. You know there's nothing going on between the two of us."
He snorted and rolled back over. "Whatever. Leave me alone."
See if I ever try to help him again.
Later
So after English Arthur and I sat at our old table again, just like old times. I sighed and commented on that fact, and he rolled his eyes and told me to stop acting like we're long lost friends. Even though we totally are! He's got to be faking indifference; I know going a month without me had to be hard on him.
Anyways, I don't remember what we were talking about, probably something about class and our 'Personal Heroes' papers. (I got a B, I was so proud. I knew X-Men was the way to go. I bet Artie got an A though, and I didn't want him to rub it in my face so I made it a point not to ask him.)
But then Braginski walked in with a few people, some of them I didn't know, but I recognized a few of them- Yao and Alvarez and Maria. Maria caught my eye and laughed. I scratched the back of my head, a little embarrassed thinking about our last encounter. I mouthed, "Sorry," and she smiled and shook her head. "Thanks," she mouthed back, indicating to her and Alvarez's joined hands. I smiled. Even if Alvarez is a big douche bag, if Maria's happy with him that's cool.
I felt someone's gaze on me; it was Braginski. But when I looked at him, he turned his attention away and said something to Yao who laughed. Then Braginski lightly touching his shoulder like they were old friends or something.
Which they totally aren't because I'm the one who introduced them. That ungrateful jerk.
"Alfred, Alfred, hello?" Arthur waved his spoon in front of my face, trying to get my attention. I guess I sort of zoned out.
I blinked and looked at him. "Sorry, were you saying something?"
He quirked a brow and followed my line of vision.
"Braginski again?" he asked.
"What?"
He gave me The Look. "You know what I mean, Alfred." He rested his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together. "What exactly is going on between the two of you?"
"I don't know what you're talk-"
My phone vibrated; it was a text from Maria. She asked me if we could hang out some time… and then asked me what had been going on between me and Braginski that I hadn't told her about. And then she added a fucking winkie face. A winkie face!
I looked up to yell at her, but they'd already left the DH.
Arthur gave me a knowing look. "Well?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me or not?"
I stood up and slammed my hands on the table. "There is nothing going on between me and Braginski!" I shouted.
The entire cafeteria went silent and Arthur fucking laughed at me.
-
theres nothin goin on between me n braginski!
If you say so, querido…
stfu maria or i'll tell alvarez you asked ME out!
But I didn't, you did! That's cruel! :(
but he won't know that ;)
Fine. Then I'll tell Ivan you're madly in love with him! ;)
DON'T YOU DARE
Well at least talk to the poor boy! pobrecillo, he is so sad!
he ignored me first!
Ugh, men… Dinner next Thursday?
Ugh women… yeah sounds good :)
-
March 20th
Dude. Kiku has been acting weird as fuck lately. He's always blushing and he's been even quieter than usual, and today when I got back from practice, I caught him outside Arthur's door, about to knock. But when he saw me, he got all embarrassed and ran back to his room.
Are they… Are they hiding something from me?
Later
So I knocked on Kiku's door to see what was up. I asked him if he wanted to hangout, since it had been a while since the two of us chilled. He said he'd like that, so we settled down to play some good old fashion Mario Cart. Half way through the second round I asked him what was up with him and Arthur and he tripped up and ran over a banana peel, which never happens.I asked him if he was ok and he just gave a small smile and said it was nothing.
After a moment he cleared his throat and said, "Actually, since the two of you made up I haven't really seen him mu-" But then my phone rang and I told him to hold that thought.
It was Arthur asking when I wanted to go to dinner, and I told him I was with Kiku, and he asked if we both wanted to eat with him and I sure. I put my phone down and asked him to finish what he'd been about to say, but he just shook his head and said never mind.
I narrowed my eyes.
They are totally hiding something from me!
March 21st
It's not like I haven't noticed them before. Hell, they've been all over campus since last week. But for some reason today they've just been like… all up in my face, begging me to look at them.
Stupid fucking ballet posters.
I am not going to that stupid thing.
In fact, I hope Braginski falls and breaks both of his legs.
Later
Ok, it's not like I'm a stalker, but I just happened to walk by the performing arts center, and guess who was talking to Braginski?
Lovino!
I thought he was afraid of him. That has to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Ever.
Later
So I went to see the ballet. I made Arthur go with me, who said he would have gone without me anyways, but whatever.
To be completely honest, I thought it was weird and boring. It wasn't what ballet was supposed to be. No one was wearing tutus, and they even had their toes pointed in. It was all pretty strange. I read the little pamphlet thing, and basically it was about Braginski's character dancing himself to death in order for the village to gain the good graces of the Spring God. If you ask me, that is a load of bull. You're going to pass out from exhaustion before you die from dancing. And anyways, who wants a god who demands sacrifices? That's pretty lame if you ask me.
But… It was kind of cool, too, in its own way, I mean. I thought he'd look like, I don't know, girlie, cause I mean, come on, it's ballet, but he didn't. The way he moved, it wasn't flowing or graceful by any means, but it was raw and powerful. Suddenly it was obvious why he was so sure footed on the basketball court; there was nothing awkward about the way he carried himself.
But still. They were all dressed like fucking Indians.
And I just could not take that seriously.
March 22nd
I went to Francis's to get Matthew since we were supposed to go see a movie together, but when I got there he was too busy trying to get Francis to shut up, who was too busy trying to get Antonio to shut up, who was too busy crying over the fact that, to put it in his words, "Lovi h-hates me and he won't tell me why!"
So then I tried to get Matt to give it up, but he said that he couldn't just leave the two of them together because Francis was giving him "bad advice" which probably means that he was telling Antonio to just seduce him and ask questions later, and Antonio was probably contemplating suicide.
So I just left and asked Arthur and Kiku to watch it with me instead. Arthur wanted to go, but Kiku declined.
Why is everyone acting so weird?
March 23rd
Practice and then work. I seriously have nothing else to say about how bad today is going to suck.
March 25th
Me and Artie had a good ol' heart-to-heart last night when I got off work. He came by around nine to walk with me back to the dorms, but we just wound up sitting in the parking lot for a while, talking.
"What did you think of the ballet?" he asked, taking a long swig of his beer.
I looked down at my own bottle, watching the dark liquid swirl around as I rotated my wrist. I shrugged, "I don't know anything about dance," I said noncommittally. "I didn't really get it."
He downed the rest of his beer. "But you couldn't take your eyes off of him."
"Who?"
"Braginski. You never looked away from him."
"It's not what you think," I said. "I was just trying to pa-"
"Isn't it though?" he asked, cutting me off. "Be honest with yourself, Alfred. It bothers you that he's not talking to you, when it shouldn't."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Arthur tossed his empty bottle into the dumpster. "I'm just saying, it's a good thing he's leaving you alone. You shouldn't push it."
I stood up, fists clenched. "What would you know?" I demanded. "You don't even know him."
"I know he's put you through hell and you're just asking to be hurt! He's nothing but bad news."
"Not everyone is out to hurt you. You're just comparing him to how things worked out for you with Francis!" I snapped.
I know, dumb move. If it helps at all, I felt like a complete ass for saying that. Not to mention, I couldn't believe that I'd just compared Braginski to Francis. But Arthur was really pissing me off. I know he means well, but damn does he have a controlling streak.
He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't feel like fighting with you over this," he caved in. "Do what you want."
I smiled triumphantly, then realized something.
"So, uh, what should I do?"
Arthur smiled and ruffled my hair. "You're a hopeless mess, you know that?"
I slung an arm over his shoulder. "Yeah but I'm your hopeless mess."
He shook his head. "Just be careful, alright?"
We walked back to campus in comfortable silence, but half way there I stopped. He gave me a questioning look, but I turned my face away.
"I'm sorry I brought up Francis," I muttered. "That was a pretty low blow."
He pulled away from me dramatically and placed a hand over his heart. "I think I'm going into cardiac arrest," he cried. "Did Alfred Jones just apologize?"
I kicked him. "Don't get used to it, you prick." But what I really meant to say was, 'It's good to have you back.'
Because, somehow, things don't seem so bleak when you've got a good friend in your corner.
-
Translations:
querido- love, darling
pobrecillo- poor little thing
-
Twelve
March 26th
Oh god I'd practically forgotten about Natalia. That is until she flew out of some random class room, grabbed my arm and pulled me aside so fast I thought I might get whip lash. She threw me up against the door to the auditorium, the doorknob digging into my back in a not so comfortable way, and I may or may not have given a startled cry (it wasn't a girly scream) as I tried to fight her off.
"You lied to me," she growled. "You've broken up with that woman and started chasing after my Ivan again. You broke your promise."
I was quickly loosing the feeling in my arms (not to mention the color in my face) so I tried to break free. "What are you talking about?" I asked, voice slightly higher than usual. "Get off me you psycho!"
That was probably the wrong thing to call her; she was already pissed off and emitting these creepy evil Satanic vibes, not to mention she probably had a knife hidden somewhere under her completely misleading "I'm a sweet and innocent girl who would never try to gorge someone's liver out" dress.
She tightened her grip. And ok, I'm man enough to admit it, I might have whimpered a bit. But come on this chick makes Marilyn Manson look sane! And where the hell was Arthur? I had just met up with him after our advisor meeting; he couldn't have forgotten about me. I mean, I'm not Mattie or anything.
But a minute later, and she was going on about all the things she was going to do to me and how she was going to cause me bodily harm with things that should never be used on people, like a crowbar and a blender. And there was still no sign of Arthur.
Seriously.
You know that feeling you get when you just know your life is about to be over?
Yeah I was so feeling it.
But then Arthur had finally (about time) realized that I was no longer walking with him and spotted us down the hall. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded, storming up to us.
She turned to stare at him, eyes wild. "This doesn't concern you, Brit." she hissed. "Leave before I decide to end your life as well."
We both gulped and shared a nervous glance.
Fortunately for us, in our dire situation I suddenly got a plan!
"Hey look, it's Ivan!" I exclaimed, pointing down the hall with a sure finger as I prayed for her to fall for it.
Thank god she did. As she turned to look the evil glint in her eye got even worse, but lucky for me her death grip on my arms loosened as she strained her neck to look down the hall.
And that was when Arthur and I promptly ran away.
Later
Ok. I have got to figure out a way to get rid of her, because if me and Iv-Braginski are going to be friends, I'd really rather not have to worry about, you know, fighting for my life. This calls for some Thinkin Chair time.
Later
I just got the most amazing idea ever! God, I'm such a genius.
Later
Man, Fuck Feliks. Trust him to ruin all my plans. He is such a Plan Ruiner.
Later
So, like I said earlier, I had a great plan. But I needed help with it. So, after economics I stopped Toris and Feliks and asked them if they'd do me a favor. Of course Toris was more than happy to. (He's a great guy like that.) But Feliks was all, "What's, like, in it for us?" So I told him I'd give him the Abercrombie and Fitch gift card that's been collecting dust in my wallet since my last birthday, and he said it was a deal. But then he furrowed his perfectly plucked (lol alliteration) eyebrows and gave me a suspicious look. "Like, you don't want us to do anything weird do you? Cause I totally won't do it if it's anything sketch."
I smiled and waved my hands in front of me, laughing. "No, it's nothing like that!" I exclaimed. "I uh… Just need Toris to go on a date with Natalia for me is all."
Toris looked like he wanted to say yes, but before he could even take a breath of air Feliks had clamped a hand over his mouth, pink nails nearly digging into his cheeks.
"Like, no way," he stated flat-out.
I tried using Mattie's puppy-dog eyes, but it didn't work. I even tried crying and all that evil bitch did was laugh at me.
And by the time I had resorted to desperate negotiations (I won't call it begging because Alfred F. Jones doesn't beg) he just scoffed at me and told me to do my own dirty work.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled.
Feliks stuck an accusing finger in my chest. "Don't, like, get my poor Toris caught up in your relationship drama! If you're having problems with Natalia about Ivan, then, like, just talk to him!"
And then he flounced off dragging a pouting Toris behind him.
That bitch.
Later
Since I couldn't use Toris, and I don't think I'll survive the next time Natalia sees me, I finally just had to put my pride aside and tell Ludwig that a five foot two girl was terrorizing me. Turns out there have been several complaints about her. Who knew?
Maybe now they'll expel her? Maybe? Please?
…Please?
Later
Things easier said than done:
1. Giving up McDonald's for Lent.
2. Paying attention in class.
3. Giving myself a blowjob. (No really. I've tried. Doesn't work.)
4. Faking enthusiasm over Arthur's knitting. (See above side note.)
5. Getting Braginski to stop ignoring me.
Later
I've seriously tried everything. Everything. Ok so I mean, I didn't text him or call him or anything. But I did wait around after Trig today. (But not before checking the halls for Natalia.)
Subtlety isn't really my thing, but I thought it was obvious enough that I was waiting for him without being all up in his face about it. But he just walked right past me. Didn't even give me a passing glance.
What is this, third grade?
He can't just fucking ignore me like that. You don't ignore Alfred F. Jones, Ok? You just don't.
March 27th
HA! We've got basketball practice in half an hour. I'm still on Coach's "to kill" list since I was late yesterday, but it's not my fault because I'm so used to Braginski coming to get me for practice, so I stopped keeping track of the time.
So if anyone, he should blame that stupid jerk.
But anyways, I'd just like to see him ignore me at practice.
Later
Braginski quit the team.
I give up. Fine. Be that way.
I don't give a fuck what he does.
March 28th
So I've been sitting in the common area for the past thirty minutes, and twice Kiku has walked out of his room, paused at Arthur's door, then pretended to do something else, like go to the bathroom or get a drink out of the fridge. But then he'll go right back to Arthur's door, raise his hand like he's going to knock, and then chicken out.
I don't think he's noticed me yet. I've been sitting in the corner in the big red blow-up chair I found at a garage sale last year, pretending to do economics shit, but he hasn't said hi or anything like he usually does.
Oh my god I think he just mumbled something under his breath and he's blushing. Kiku is fucking blushing! Oh my god this is too much. What the fuck is going on?
Dammit. He saw me and went back to his room.
Note to self: Stalk Kiku.
Later
I had this great idea. I stole Artie's phone cause I was gonna text Braginski from it, since Braginski doesn't have his number. I was gonna freak him out and pretend to be Natalia or something like that. But then I got nosey and sort of accidentally checked Arthur's text messages. And guess what? He texts Kiku more than he texts me. And Arthur doesn't even like texting. And they text each other like, even in class too because Arthur will say something like "could Mr. Hamby be any more monotone?" and Kiku will say something like, "I hope not; I'd probably die" and a bunch of other lame stupid things like that.
But there wasn't anything juicy or secretive. So I think Kiku is just being weird.
Later
Crap I forgot to text Braginski.
Later
Oh my god does Kiku like Arthur?
Later
At lunch Kiku asked Arthur to pass him the salt. And Arthur blushed. And then he did.
Later
Oh my god does Arthur like Kiku?
Later
Does that mean he's over Francis?
Later
…Should I ask him?
Later
No. No that's probably a bad idea. A really bad idea.
Later
So I sorta texted that stupid Russian from my own phone, just cause I was getting kind of pissed that he hadn't popped by with a, "Haha, jk Alfred! I will now commence to stalk you once more, da!"
But he didn't text back.
…Guess he was serious.
Later
I met Maria at McDonald's for dinner tonight. It would have been nice except for the fact that I'm in a completely not-awesome mood. I mean, I stabbed at my Big Mac with the amount of enthusiasm that I usually reserve for prunes, brussels sprouts, and math tests, so you know I wasn't feeling like my usual sunshine and sparkles.
"Have you spoken to him yet?" she asked, sipping at her small Sprite.
I picked up a fry, sighed, and threw it back down again. "No. Natalia's back to threatening me again and Braginski doesn't want anything to do with- Wait what?"
Maria smirked.
"No use denying it, querido," she said. "If it makes you feel any better, he's completely miserable."
"Good," I huffed. "He deserves to be miserable. He's an asshole."
"And you miss him," she sing-songed. "You want to kiss him, you want to hug him-"
I threw a fist-full of fries at her. "Shut up," I said. "I am so sick of hearing that shit from everyone."
She laughed. "Sorry, sorry, I'll quit."
I crossed my arms over my chest and pointedly looked away. She munched on her chicken sandwich innocently, content with the silence. I, however, can't stand to be quiet, so after about thirty seconds, my need to make small-talk took over.
"Uh, just out of curiosity, why have you and Alvarez and Yao been hanging out with Braginski?"
Maria grinned again. "Honestly, I think he's just doing it to piss you off. Ivan knows you and Alvarez don't get along and well, he thnks you'll get jealous if he pays attention to Yao."
I narrowed my eyes.
So Braginski is trying to piss me off?
Well it's not going to work.
Later
Ok so it's kind of working. But there's no way in hell I'll ever let him know that.
Later
Fucking Braginski.
March 29th
You know what sucks? Trying to befriend your stalker. Like, why did I even bother? I knew he was an asshole. But nooooo. I just had to want to do the nice thing and befriend him. But of course the second I try to do this he turns into this ginormous dickhead and is all, "Go away Alfred, I just wanted to be a freaky stalker and act all gay, I don't want to be friends!"
HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
One minute he's a loser with no friends who won't leave me alone and the next he's all "GTFO, Alfred," and buddy-buddy with Yao and Alvarez, crackin jokes and eating dinner with them and stupid stuff like that, so I walk up to him and I'm all, "Why are you ignoring me?" and he's all, "Alfred, you see that I am busy with my friends, da?" so I'm all, "Fuck you!" and he's all, "No thanks."
Ok so that's not what happened.
But he was eating dinner with those assholes. (Well Yao's not really an asshole but since I still owe him money I don't really want to talk to him…) Anyways, when I tried to talk to him he ignored me at first, so then I grabbed his plate so he'd have to pay attention to me, but all he did was get up and go get more food! So I followed him to the counter and point-blank asked him what his problem was.
For the first time in forever he finally looked at me, and for a minute I thought he was back to his normal weirdo self, but he just frowned and said, "I am simply doing what you asked. You've been telling me to leave you alone, and now I am. This is what you wanted, da?"
"No, you idiot!" I said. "I changed my mind. I want to be friends!"
For some reason he glared at me when I said that. And it's not like it frightened me or anything, but it was just so intense that I couldn't look at him anymore. "I do not want your sympathy," he said coldly.
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, I don't feel sorry for you," I said.
He laughed, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Oh really?" he said. "Then why is it that you didn't want to have anything to do with me until you read those letters?"
"That's not fair; you're the one who translated them for me. You're the one who told me what happened!"
He stopped smiling. "Da. And I should have known better. I did not confide in you in order to gain your commiseration. I did not want you to change and you did. Your desire to become my friend is not genuine- You are driven by pity."
"That's not true at all!" I shouted. People were staring, but I really didn't care.
"Isn't it though?" he asked, voice empty and small.
"No, it's not," I said firmly. "It has nothing to with pity, I just feel like I understand you better now is all." Tentatively, I raised a hand to his shoulder. "Ivan, let me-"
He shrugged my hand away. "You mistake pity with understanding," he said in disgust. "You, Alfred Jones, are a fool."
He left the cafeteria after that and I didn't try to stop him.
March 30th
So I went to work in a completely shit mood today. At least Lovino wasn't there; Feliciano was working instead. I thought my day would get better, since he's a pretty fun guy unlike his permanently PMSing bitch of a sister but he was in a bad mood too, pouting and sighing as he served up each entrée.
"What's eattin you?" I finally asked, about thirty minutes into my shift.
His bottom lip wibbled a bit as he poured some sauce in to a soufflé cup, put it on the tray with the calzone, and handed it to me.
"It's- it's Antonio," he cried. "Lovino broke up with him last night!"
"Why?" I asked. Not that I really cared what that punk did, but Antonio was pretty cool; it would suck to see him get hurt by such a hard-headed and thoughtless little SOB. Plus, I couldn't imagine Antonio doing anything to warrant a break up- Strange as it is, he's absolutely crazy about Lovino.
"Because," Feliciano said, "Antonio is going to Spain this summer to see his grandparents, and since he's a senior and lives in Florida, and we live in New York… He thinks they'll never see each other again, and he thinks Antonio doesn't care."
"Is that why he's been moodier than usual lately?"
Feliciano nodded. "I moved in with Ludwig," at that he blushed and smiled (and I twitched and gagged), "so that him and Antonio could spend more time together, but it only made Lovino more upset…"
I picked up a large tray (I've really gotten a hang of the whole serving business), put all the food on it, and rested it on my shoulder.
"Don't worry about it," I said as I walked to the swinging doors. "Lovino just has to put his pride aside and tell Antonio what's bothering him. They'll work it out."
I walked through the doors and bellowed "Coming out!" to make sure that I didn't run into anyone and ruin my uniform (Which, I gotta say, looks pretty sexy on me- I make white button-downs and long, black half-apron look good). And do you know who was in the lobby, waiting to be seated?
Maria, Alvarez, Yao… and Braginski.
I narrowed my eyes at Braginski and muttered a quick and stony, "I'll be right with you" and ran off to take care of my tables. I told Sofie, one of the waitresses, to seat them for me and to please, please, wait on them, but she cheerfully replied that, while she would seat them for me, it was my turn for a table.
Sooooo I was forced to deal with them.
But what I wanted to know was, since Braginski didn't want anything to do with me, why the hell was he there, and with his little commie brigade as well? (Ok so Maria isn't included in that but whatever.)
I got my answer when I went to greet them and Maria had this stupid smirk on her face, as if she was planning something, and did a little four-finger wave.
"Welcome to Roma's. My name's Alfred and I'll be taking care of you today," I said automatically, trying to ignore her as she kept looking from me to Braginski. "What can I get you guys to drink?"
"Water."
"Cream soda."
"Tea, aru."
"Vodka."
I swear a vein popped in my head when he said that.
"We don't serve liquor," I ground out.
Braginski pouted. "Water, then," he said.
So I went and fixed their drinks (I may or may not have spit in Braginski's) and took their order and everything was going pretty smoothly until I came back out with their food.
As I approached them, a man sitting at the table next to them stood up, knocking my tray over. Braginski, probably out of reflex, shot up to grab it before it tipped over just as I grabbed for one of the plates, causing the tray to tilt… and all of the food to land on the both of us.
He looked down at his scarf, (which was covered in marinara sauce) completely horrified, while I tried to get bits of spaghetti out of my hair and save what little dignity I had left.
"You idiot," he spat. "Look what you've done!"
I stood up and shouted at him, completely forgetting that we were sort of in a restaurant. "Me? If you hadn't tried to grab my tray this never would have happened!"
Then we proceeded to fight and insult each other and at one point I think I might have thrown a cup at him and Maria tried to intervene and we both told her to shut up and then I think he brought my mom into the conversation, which you just don't do.
So I officially hate Braginski, and if he thinks that I'm going to let him get away with being such a fucking bastard, he's got another thing coming.
This means war.
Warnings: Slash, college AU
Pairings: Russia/America, minor France/Canada and a few others
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. You'll see; just read his diary.
Eleven
March 18th
So I got a job today. Ironically enough, it's at that Italian place that stupid jerk who won't talk to me anymore and I had dinner last month. I should have guessed it was the place Feliciano told me about though; Italian people, Italian restaurant… Yeah. Lucky me, I can now say good-bye to my weekends. I have practice every Saturday morning, and then work from five to ten, and then on Sunday I have practice from one to three, and then work from five to nine.
Thanks Mom. Since I hated sleeping and having a social life, this is just the best!
Anyways, Lovino was there (his Uncle owns the place so sometimes him and Feliciano help out) and he was being his usual sour self until Antonio, Feliciano, and Ludwig walked in. Then his bitchiness went through the roof. He stormed into the kitchen and refused to talk to anyone. I felt bad for Antonio; he had no idea what was going on. Feliciano followed him and tried to talk to him, but I'm pretty sure Lovino threw a can of tomatoes at him. One of the big ones. And I kind of want to ask him what's going on, but I'm afraid he might try to kill me, too.
Ok I'm seriously just killing time here. I sort of thought that Iv- Braginski would have called me by now with a "Haha I was just kidding! You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm too creepy and persistent, da!" but he hasn't.
…But I bet he will.
This is probably just one of his mind games and I'm not going to fall for it and call him first or something.
Not that I'd ever call him.
Later
Ok but for real why hasn't he called yet.
Later
Ugh. This is really starting to piss me o- oh wait. Someone's at my door. Ha! I bet it's him.
Later
It wasn't Braginski.
It was fucking better than Braginski- it was Arthur!
Course I thought he just came by to pick a fight or make fun of me, so when I saw who it was I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame with this "what the fuck do you want?" expression on my face while Arthur furrowed his massive brows and refused to look at me. He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest like he always does when he doesn't like the situation, and stuck his nose in the air.
"Matthew said you wanted to talk to me," he said haughtily.
I blinked a few times, completely shocked. "Wait, you and Matt talked?"
His shoulders deflated a bit and he glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Erm, yes," he said. "We've been on speaking terms for a while. There really was no point in my staying angry with him."
His reference to the whole "I like Francis and you're a shit friend don't talk to me" deal left us both unsure of what to say next, and we fell into an awkward silence for the next few moments.
Arthur recovered first. He cleared his throat and straightened his sweater. "Right. So, was there anything you needed to tell me?" he asked.
I shook my head no. After all, I hadn't gone to Matthew.
He pursed his lips and turned around. "Well, then I'll just be-"
I put a hand on his shoulder, silencing and stopping him in his tracks. I really didn't know what I was doing, I just knew that I was sick of fighting and not talking. So I said, "I didn't break my promise. I never told a soul."
I don't know what he was thinking since I couldn't bring myself to look at him, but he said, "I know."
After a minute I chanced a glance at him and he chanced a glance at me and we both cracked a smile.
"If you think I'm going to apologize then you're sadly mistaken," he said gruffly. "You've really got to work on your communication skills!"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever! I'm not saying I'm sorry either cause you were a real jerk about the whole thing!"
And then I stepped to the side and he came in and I asked if he wanted to play Devil May Cry and he said no and asked if I was hungry and I said hell no and it was like thirty-eight days of fighting had never happened.
Later
Not that I had been counting or anything.
Later
Man it's good having that stuffy little Brit around. I missed making fun of his clothes and picking on his weird spelling and bribing him to "speak American". He is never allowed to be mad at me for more than a few hours from now on. Not talking totally sucked. It was like, I had over a month's worth of stories and grievances and gossip and happy thoughts and zombie survival plans just dying to get out, but he can't think as fast as I can talk (which is really his own problem) so it really sucked having to pick and choose the most important things, since he was only giving me a two minute time limit for each topic.
He is a real prick like that.
So anyways, I told him about how Braginski kept stalking me, and how he told everyone we were dating, and how he made me spend Valentine's Day with him and how Natalia tried to kill me until I convinced her that we weren't dating and how his life totally sucks and how it's not fair that his family is so lame and how they ought to treat him better because really he's not all that bad and how he's being a jerk and not talking to me.
He just looked at me completely horrified.
"What?" I asked.
"Good Lord you've gone and fallen for that creepy bastard, haven't you?" he asked.
And so what if I blushed? It wasn't like it was a "oh my gosh you discovered my secret!" blush. It was totally a, "No! Holy shit that's gross!" blush.
So, just to help with the distinction, I said, "No! Holy shit that's gross!"
Arthur looked at me skeptically. "Alfred, your ears have gone all red round the edges. There's no point denying it."
"But I don't. What the hell! I don't!"
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
"Man, fuck you."
Arthur laughed and proceeded to do a really bad impression of me. "'Oh, Ivan! You're so hand-"
And that was when I tackled him. I was gonna give him a noogie or something since he was being such a big asshole, but I settled for a hug instead.
"I really, really missed you, you stupid asshole."
"You too, you big git." Arthur said, giving my back a proper, awkward pat, but I know he missed me too, cause he didn't shove me off like he usually would have.
Later
I just went by Francis's room and, ignoring Gilbert, the piano guy, and the creepy camera woman, gave Mattie the biggest hug ever and told him that he was the bestest brother anyone could ask for. He smiled and asked if me and Arthur had made up. I said yes. He hugged me back and was super happy too, but said the weirdest thing.
"Don't thank me, thank Ivan."
I raised a brow. "Why?"
He scratched the back of his head and blushed. "Well, a few days ago he came by asking me what would make you happy, and I told him that fixing things with Arthur would, so he suggested that I trick the two of you into talking."
I blinked a few times, taken aback.
Elizabeta sighed and got all sparkly-eyed. "Just like Mr. Darcy!"
Whoever that is.
March 19th
Braginski ignored me in class today, which pissed me off because I owe him a thank you. And I really don't want to be in his debt for long, but no matter what I did, he wouldn't look at me! I even went out of my way to accidently drop my homework that had really bad scores on it in front of him. He didn't even give it a passing glance. And when I told him that he still had to tutor me because Coach said so, he told me that other arrangements had been made!
Well fine. I was gonna try to be his friend, but whatever.
If he wants to be a loner, that's fine by me. I don't care.
Later
And it's like, not that I care, but I can't even talk to Arthur about it, cause he'll make fun of me! I don't even think he believes me when I say that me and Braginski never dated, that douche.
Later
So Lovino just demanded that we let him stay in our room tonight, but like hell am I going to allow that again. Last time he stayed over I didn't get any sleep. So I told him just that, and then he had to go look like a kicked puppy. Of course that worked on Matt, who has this thing for anything even remotely cute, but I stood my ground.
"Why can't you just man up and talk to Antonio!" I said, exasperated. "It's obvious you're mad at him!"
That stupid Italian sneered at me. "Like you're one to give advice; you can't even figure out your own relationship, don't tell me what to do!"
My eye twitched. What did he mean by "my relationship?"
I decided I didn't want to know and didn't comment on that remark.
I looked to Matt for support, but he looked away. Stupid pacifist. Then I turned to Arthur, who had been reading the paper, and cleared my throat.
"What?" he asked.
"A little back up?" I hissed.
He went back to reading. "I'll let you children duke it out," he said.
My roommates fucking suck.
March 20th
So it's like, 1:30 AM right now, and Lovino is actually… being quiet. Which is weird. What is he doing? Why isn't he yelling at his phone and acting like a big baby and keeping me awake like usual?
Well I guess he's still keeping me awake, but it's just because I keep expecting to hear his phone hit my door and it's not. Which is weird. I'm gonna investigate.
Later
Dude. I just cracked my door open a bit and when he heard me he gasped and then got all silent so I laughed and apologized for "interrupting" him and he sniffled and told me to fuck off. I think he's crying.
Later
Why is he crying?
Later
You know what? Lovino is the world's biggest bitch. See if I ever try to help him out again.
I felt kinda bad for him, even if he had been a little shit earlier, so I asked him if he wanted me to make him some of Arthur's tea, since it's supposed to help you calm down, but he just told me to fuck off again. So then I asked him if he wanted to talk and he told me to mind my own business. So then I asked him if I'd been right about him being upset with Antonio and he blew up at me!
"Yes, it's about that fucking bastard! He can't think of anyone but himself, but why am I telling you this?" he scowled. "You're just as bad- no, you're worse! I don't know how Ivan stands you."
"This again? What the hell, Lovino," I narrowed my eyes and dropped the friendly tone. "I'm just trying to help. Don't drag Braginski into this; he has nothing to do with anything. You know there's nothing going on between the two of us."
He snorted and rolled back over. "Whatever. Leave me alone."
See if I ever try to help him again.
Later
So after English Arthur and I sat at our old table again, just like old times. I sighed and commented on that fact, and he rolled his eyes and told me to stop acting like we're long lost friends. Even though we totally are! He's got to be faking indifference; I know going a month without me had to be hard on him.
Anyways, I don't remember what we were talking about, probably something about class and our 'Personal Heroes' papers. (I got a B, I was so proud. I knew X-Men was the way to go. I bet Artie got an A though, and I didn't want him to rub it in my face so I made it a point not to ask him.)
But then Braginski walked in with a few people, some of them I didn't know, but I recognized a few of them- Yao and Alvarez and Maria. Maria caught my eye and laughed. I scratched the back of my head, a little embarrassed thinking about our last encounter. I mouthed, "Sorry," and she smiled and shook her head. "Thanks," she mouthed back, indicating to her and Alvarez's joined hands. I smiled. Even if Alvarez is a big douche bag, if Maria's happy with him that's cool.
I felt someone's gaze on me; it was Braginski. But when I looked at him, he turned his attention away and said something to Yao who laughed. Then Braginski lightly touching his shoulder like they were old friends or something.
Which they totally aren't because I'm the one who introduced them. That ungrateful jerk.
"Alfred, Alfred, hello?" Arthur waved his spoon in front of my face, trying to get my attention. I guess I sort of zoned out.
I blinked and looked at him. "Sorry, were you saying something?"
He quirked a brow and followed my line of vision.
"Braginski again?" he asked.
"What?"
He gave me The Look. "You know what I mean, Alfred." He rested his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together. "What exactly is going on between the two of you?"
"I don't know what you're talk-"
My phone vibrated; it was a text from Maria. She asked me if we could hang out some time… and then asked me what had been going on between me and Braginski that I hadn't told her about. And then she added a fucking winkie face. A winkie face!
I looked up to yell at her, but they'd already left the DH.
Arthur gave me a knowing look. "Well?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me or not?"
I stood up and slammed my hands on the table. "There is nothing going on between me and Braginski!" I shouted.
The entire cafeteria went silent and Arthur fucking laughed at me.
-
theres nothin goin on between me n braginski!
If you say so, querido…
stfu maria or i'll tell alvarez you asked ME out!
But I didn't, you did! That's cruel! :(
but he won't know that ;)
Fine. Then I'll tell Ivan you're madly in love with him! ;)
DON'T YOU DARE
Well at least talk to the poor boy! pobrecillo, he is so sad!
he ignored me first!
Ugh, men… Dinner next Thursday?
Ugh women… yeah sounds good :)
-
March 20th
Dude. Kiku has been acting weird as fuck lately. He's always blushing and he's been even quieter than usual, and today when I got back from practice, I caught him outside Arthur's door, about to knock. But when he saw me, he got all embarrassed and ran back to his room.
Are they… Are they hiding something from me?
Later
So I knocked on Kiku's door to see what was up. I asked him if he wanted to hangout, since it had been a while since the two of us chilled. He said he'd like that, so we settled down to play some good old fashion Mario Cart. Half way through the second round I asked him what was up with him and Arthur and he tripped up and ran over a banana peel, which never happens.I asked him if he was ok and he just gave a small smile and said it was nothing.
After a moment he cleared his throat and said, "Actually, since the two of you made up I haven't really seen him mu-" But then my phone rang and I told him to hold that thought.
It was Arthur asking when I wanted to go to dinner, and I told him I was with Kiku, and he asked if we both wanted to eat with him and I sure. I put my phone down and asked him to finish what he'd been about to say, but he just shook his head and said never mind.
I narrowed my eyes.
They are totally hiding something from me!
March 21st
It's not like I haven't noticed them before. Hell, they've been all over campus since last week. But for some reason today they've just been like… all up in my face, begging me to look at them.
Stupid fucking ballet posters.
I am not going to that stupid thing.
In fact, I hope Braginski falls and breaks both of his legs.
Later
Ok, it's not like I'm a stalker, but I just happened to walk by the performing arts center, and guess who was talking to Braginski?
Lovino!
I thought he was afraid of him. That has to be the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Ever.
Later
So I went to see the ballet. I made Arthur go with me, who said he would have gone without me anyways, but whatever.
To be completely honest, I thought it was weird and boring. It wasn't what ballet was supposed to be. No one was wearing tutus, and they even had their toes pointed in. It was all pretty strange. I read the little pamphlet thing, and basically it was about Braginski's character dancing himself to death in order for the village to gain the good graces of the Spring God. If you ask me, that is a load of bull. You're going to pass out from exhaustion before you die from dancing. And anyways, who wants a god who demands sacrifices? That's pretty lame if you ask me.
But… It was kind of cool, too, in its own way, I mean. I thought he'd look like, I don't know, girlie, cause I mean, come on, it's ballet, but he didn't. The way he moved, it wasn't flowing or graceful by any means, but it was raw and powerful. Suddenly it was obvious why he was so sure footed on the basketball court; there was nothing awkward about the way he carried himself.
But still. They were all dressed like fucking Indians.
And I just could not take that seriously.
March 22nd
I went to Francis's to get Matthew since we were supposed to go see a movie together, but when I got there he was too busy trying to get Francis to shut up, who was too busy trying to get Antonio to shut up, who was too busy crying over the fact that, to put it in his words, "Lovi h-hates me and he won't tell me why!"
So then I tried to get Matt to give it up, but he said that he couldn't just leave the two of them together because Francis was giving him "bad advice" which probably means that he was telling Antonio to just seduce him and ask questions later, and Antonio was probably contemplating suicide.
So I just left and asked Arthur and Kiku to watch it with me instead. Arthur wanted to go, but Kiku declined.
Why is everyone acting so weird?
March 23rd
Practice and then work. I seriously have nothing else to say about how bad today is going to suck.
March 25th
Me and Artie had a good ol' heart-to-heart last night when I got off work. He came by around nine to walk with me back to the dorms, but we just wound up sitting in the parking lot for a while, talking.
"What did you think of the ballet?" he asked, taking a long swig of his beer.
I looked down at my own bottle, watching the dark liquid swirl around as I rotated my wrist. I shrugged, "I don't know anything about dance," I said noncommittally. "I didn't really get it."
He downed the rest of his beer. "But you couldn't take your eyes off of him."
"Who?"
"Braginski. You never looked away from him."
"It's not what you think," I said. "I was just trying to pa-"
"Isn't it though?" he asked, cutting me off. "Be honest with yourself, Alfred. It bothers you that he's not talking to you, when it shouldn't."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Arthur tossed his empty bottle into the dumpster. "I'm just saying, it's a good thing he's leaving you alone. You shouldn't push it."
I stood up, fists clenched. "What would you know?" I demanded. "You don't even know him."
"I know he's put you through hell and you're just asking to be hurt! He's nothing but bad news."
"Not everyone is out to hurt you. You're just comparing him to how things worked out for you with Francis!" I snapped.
I know, dumb move. If it helps at all, I felt like a complete ass for saying that. Not to mention, I couldn't believe that I'd just compared Braginski to Francis. But Arthur was really pissing me off. I know he means well, but damn does he have a controlling streak.
He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't feel like fighting with you over this," he caved in. "Do what you want."
I smiled triumphantly, then realized something.
"So, uh, what should I do?"
Arthur smiled and ruffled my hair. "You're a hopeless mess, you know that?"
I slung an arm over his shoulder. "Yeah but I'm your hopeless mess."
He shook his head. "Just be careful, alright?"
We walked back to campus in comfortable silence, but half way there I stopped. He gave me a questioning look, but I turned my face away.
"I'm sorry I brought up Francis," I muttered. "That was a pretty low blow."
He pulled away from me dramatically and placed a hand over his heart. "I think I'm going into cardiac arrest," he cried. "Did Alfred Jones just apologize?"
I kicked him. "Don't get used to it, you prick." But what I really meant to say was, 'It's good to have you back.'
Because, somehow, things don't seem so bleak when you've got a good friend in your corner.
-
Translations:
querido- love, darling
pobrecillo- poor little thing
-
Twelve
March 26th
Oh god I'd practically forgotten about Natalia. That is until she flew out of some random class room, grabbed my arm and pulled me aside so fast I thought I might get whip lash. She threw me up against the door to the auditorium, the doorknob digging into my back in a not so comfortable way, and I may or may not have given a startled cry (it wasn't a girly scream) as I tried to fight her off.
"You lied to me," she growled. "You've broken up with that woman and started chasing after my Ivan again. You broke your promise."
I was quickly loosing the feeling in my arms (not to mention the color in my face) so I tried to break free. "What are you talking about?" I asked, voice slightly higher than usual. "Get off me you psycho!"
That was probably the wrong thing to call her; she was already pissed off and emitting these creepy evil Satanic vibes, not to mention she probably had a knife hidden somewhere under her completely misleading "I'm a sweet and innocent girl who would never try to gorge someone's liver out" dress.
She tightened her grip. And ok, I'm man enough to admit it, I might have whimpered a bit. But come on this chick makes Marilyn Manson look sane! And where the hell was Arthur? I had just met up with him after our advisor meeting; he couldn't have forgotten about me. I mean, I'm not Mattie or anything.
But a minute later, and she was going on about all the things she was going to do to me and how she was going to cause me bodily harm with things that should never be used on people, like a crowbar and a blender. And there was still no sign of Arthur.
Seriously.
You know that feeling you get when you just know your life is about to be over?
Yeah I was so feeling it.
But then Arthur had finally (about time) realized that I was no longer walking with him and spotted us down the hall. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he demanded, storming up to us.
She turned to stare at him, eyes wild. "This doesn't concern you, Brit." she hissed. "Leave before I decide to end your life as well."
We both gulped and shared a nervous glance.
Fortunately for us, in our dire situation I suddenly got a plan!
"Hey look, it's Ivan!" I exclaimed, pointing down the hall with a sure finger as I prayed for her to fall for it.
Thank god she did. As she turned to look the evil glint in her eye got even worse, but lucky for me her death grip on my arms loosened as she strained her neck to look down the hall.
And that was when Arthur and I promptly ran away.
Later
Ok. I have got to figure out a way to get rid of her, because if me and Iv-Braginski are going to be friends, I'd really rather not have to worry about, you know, fighting for my life. This calls for some Thinkin Chair time.
Later
I just got the most amazing idea ever! God, I'm such a genius.
Later
Man, Fuck Feliks. Trust him to ruin all my plans. He is such a Plan Ruiner.
Later
So, like I said earlier, I had a great plan. But I needed help with it. So, after economics I stopped Toris and Feliks and asked them if they'd do me a favor. Of course Toris was more than happy to. (He's a great guy like that.) But Feliks was all, "What's, like, in it for us?" So I told him I'd give him the Abercrombie and Fitch gift card that's been collecting dust in my wallet since my last birthday, and he said it was a deal. But then he furrowed his perfectly plucked (lol alliteration) eyebrows and gave me a suspicious look. "Like, you don't want us to do anything weird do you? Cause I totally won't do it if it's anything sketch."
I smiled and waved my hands in front of me, laughing. "No, it's nothing like that!" I exclaimed. "I uh… Just need Toris to go on a date with Natalia for me is all."
Toris looked like he wanted to say yes, but before he could even take a breath of air Feliks had clamped a hand over his mouth, pink nails nearly digging into his cheeks.
"Like, no way," he stated flat-out.
I tried using Mattie's puppy-dog eyes, but it didn't work. I even tried crying and all that evil bitch did was laugh at me.
And by the time I had resorted to desperate negotiations (I won't call it begging because Alfred F. Jones doesn't beg) he just scoffed at me and told me to do my own dirty work.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled.
Feliks stuck an accusing finger in my chest. "Don't, like, get my poor Toris caught up in your relationship drama! If you're having problems with Natalia about Ivan, then, like, just talk to him!"
And then he flounced off dragging a pouting Toris behind him.
That bitch.
Later
Since I couldn't use Toris, and I don't think I'll survive the next time Natalia sees me, I finally just had to put my pride aside and tell Ludwig that a five foot two girl was terrorizing me. Turns out there have been several complaints about her. Who knew?
Maybe now they'll expel her? Maybe? Please?
…Please?
Later
Things easier said than done:
1. Giving up McDonald's for Lent.
2. Paying attention in class.
3. Giving myself a blowjob. (No really. I've tried. Doesn't work.)
4. Faking enthusiasm over Arthur's knitting. (See above side note.)
5. Getting Braginski to stop ignoring me.
Later
I've seriously tried everything. Everything. Ok so I mean, I didn't text him or call him or anything. But I did wait around after Trig today. (But not before checking the halls for Natalia.)
Subtlety isn't really my thing, but I thought it was obvious enough that I was waiting for him without being all up in his face about it. But he just walked right past me. Didn't even give me a passing glance.
What is this, third grade?
He can't just fucking ignore me like that. You don't ignore Alfred F. Jones, Ok? You just don't.
March 27th
HA! We've got basketball practice in half an hour. I'm still on Coach's "to kill" list since I was late yesterday, but it's not my fault because I'm so used to Braginski coming to get me for practice, so I stopped keeping track of the time.
So if anyone, he should blame that stupid jerk.
But anyways, I'd just like to see him ignore me at practice.
Later
Braginski quit the team.
I give up. Fine. Be that way.
I don't give a fuck what he does.
March 28th
So I've been sitting in the common area for the past thirty minutes, and twice Kiku has walked out of his room, paused at Arthur's door, then pretended to do something else, like go to the bathroom or get a drink out of the fridge. But then he'll go right back to Arthur's door, raise his hand like he's going to knock, and then chicken out.
I don't think he's noticed me yet. I've been sitting in the corner in the big red blow-up chair I found at a garage sale last year, pretending to do economics shit, but he hasn't said hi or anything like he usually does.
Oh my god I think he just mumbled something under his breath and he's blushing. Kiku is fucking blushing! Oh my god this is too much. What the fuck is going on?
Dammit. He saw me and went back to his room.
Note to self: Stalk Kiku.
Later
I had this great idea. I stole Artie's phone cause I was gonna text Braginski from it, since Braginski doesn't have his number. I was gonna freak him out and pretend to be Natalia or something like that. But then I got nosey and sort of accidentally checked Arthur's text messages. And guess what? He texts Kiku more than he texts me. And Arthur doesn't even like texting. And they text each other like, even in class too because Arthur will say something like "could Mr. Hamby be any more monotone?" and Kiku will say something like, "I hope not; I'd probably die" and a bunch of other lame stupid things like that.
But there wasn't anything juicy or secretive. So I think Kiku is just being weird.
Later
Crap I forgot to text Braginski.
Later
Oh my god does Kiku like Arthur?
Later
At lunch Kiku asked Arthur to pass him the salt. And Arthur blushed. And then he did.
Later
Oh my god does Arthur like Kiku?
Later
Does that mean he's over Francis?
Later
…Should I ask him?
Later
No. No that's probably a bad idea. A really bad idea.
Later
So I sorta texted that stupid Russian from my own phone, just cause I was getting kind of pissed that he hadn't popped by with a, "Haha, jk Alfred! I will now commence to stalk you once more, da!"
But he didn't text back.
…Guess he was serious.
Later
I met Maria at McDonald's for dinner tonight. It would have been nice except for the fact that I'm in a completely not-awesome mood. I mean, I stabbed at my Big Mac with the amount of enthusiasm that I usually reserve for prunes, brussels sprouts, and math tests, so you know I wasn't feeling like my usual sunshine and sparkles.
"Have you spoken to him yet?" she asked, sipping at her small Sprite.
I picked up a fry, sighed, and threw it back down again. "No. Natalia's back to threatening me again and Braginski doesn't want anything to do with- Wait what?"
Maria smirked.
"No use denying it, querido," she said. "If it makes you feel any better, he's completely miserable."
"Good," I huffed. "He deserves to be miserable. He's an asshole."
"And you miss him," she sing-songed. "You want to kiss him, you want to hug him-"
I threw a fist-full of fries at her. "Shut up," I said. "I am so sick of hearing that shit from everyone."
She laughed. "Sorry, sorry, I'll quit."
I crossed my arms over my chest and pointedly looked away. She munched on her chicken sandwich innocently, content with the silence. I, however, can't stand to be quiet, so after about thirty seconds, my need to make small-talk took over.
"Uh, just out of curiosity, why have you and Alvarez and Yao been hanging out with Braginski?"
Maria grinned again. "Honestly, I think he's just doing it to piss you off. Ivan knows you and Alvarez don't get along and well, he thnks you'll get jealous if he pays attention to Yao."
I narrowed my eyes.
So Braginski is trying to piss me off?
Well it's not going to work.
Later
Ok so it's kind of working. But there's no way in hell I'll ever let him know that.
Later
Fucking Braginski.
March 29th
You know what sucks? Trying to befriend your stalker. Like, why did I even bother? I knew he was an asshole. But nooooo. I just had to want to do the nice thing and befriend him. But of course the second I try to do this he turns into this ginormous dickhead and is all, "Go away Alfred, I just wanted to be a freaky stalker and act all gay, I don't want to be friends!"
HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
One minute he's a loser with no friends who won't leave me alone and the next he's all "GTFO, Alfred," and buddy-buddy with Yao and Alvarez, crackin jokes and eating dinner with them and stupid stuff like that, so I walk up to him and I'm all, "Why are you ignoring me?" and he's all, "Alfred, you see that I am busy with my friends, da?" so I'm all, "Fuck you!" and he's all, "No thanks."
Ok so that's not what happened.
But he was eating dinner with those assholes. (Well Yao's not really an asshole but since I still owe him money I don't really want to talk to him…) Anyways, when I tried to talk to him he ignored me at first, so then I grabbed his plate so he'd have to pay attention to me, but all he did was get up and go get more food! So I followed him to the counter and point-blank asked him what his problem was.
For the first time in forever he finally looked at me, and for a minute I thought he was back to his normal weirdo self, but he just frowned and said, "I am simply doing what you asked. You've been telling me to leave you alone, and now I am. This is what you wanted, da?"
"No, you idiot!" I said. "I changed my mind. I want to be friends!"
For some reason he glared at me when I said that. And it's not like it frightened me or anything, but it was just so intense that I couldn't look at him anymore. "I do not want your sympathy," he said coldly.
I rolled my eyes. "Dude, I don't feel sorry for you," I said.
He laughed, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "Oh really?" he said. "Then why is it that you didn't want to have anything to do with me until you read those letters?"
"That's not fair; you're the one who translated them for me. You're the one who told me what happened!"
He stopped smiling. "Da. And I should have known better. I did not confide in you in order to gain your commiseration. I did not want you to change and you did. Your desire to become my friend is not genuine- You are driven by pity."
"That's not true at all!" I shouted. People were staring, but I really didn't care.
"Isn't it though?" he asked, voice empty and small.
"No, it's not," I said firmly. "It has nothing to with pity, I just feel like I understand you better now is all." Tentatively, I raised a hand to his shoulder. "Ivan, let me-"
He shrugged my hand away. "You mistake pity with understanding," he said in disgust. "You, Alfred Jones, are a fool."
He left the cafeteria after that and I didn't try to stop him.
March 30th
So I went to work in a completely shit mood today. At least Lovino wasn't there; Feliciano was working instead. I thought my day would get better, since he's a pretty fun guy unlike his permanently PMSing bitch of a sister but he was in a bad mood too, pouting and sighing as he served up each entrée.
"What's eattin you?" I finally asked, about thirty minutes into my shift.
His bottom lip wibbled a bit as he poured some sauce in to a soufflé cup, put it on the tray with the calzone, and handed it to me.
"It's- it's Antonio," he cried. "Lovino broke up with him last night!"
"Why?" I asked. Not that I really cared what that punk did, but Antonio was pretty cool; it would suck to see him get hurt by such a hard-headed and thoughtless little SOB. Plus, I couldn't imagine Antonio doing anything to warrant a break up- Strange as it is, he's absolutely crazy about Lovino.
"Because," Feliciano said, "Antonio is going to Spain this summer to see his grandparents, and since he's a senior and lives in Florida, and we live in New York… He thinks they'll never see each other again, and he thinks Antonio doesn't care."
"Is that why he's been moodier than usual lately?"
Feliciano nodded. "I moved in with Ludwig," at that he blushed and smiled (and I twitched and gagged), "so that him and Antonio could spend more time together, but it only made Lovino more upset…"
I picked up a large tray (I've really gotten a hang of the whole serving business), put all the food on it, and rested it on my shoulder.
"Don't worry about it," I said as I walked to the swinging doors. "Lovino just has to put his pride aside and tell Antonio what's bothering him. They'll work it out."
I walked through the doors and bellowed "Coming out!" to make sure that I didn't run into anyone and ruin my uniform (Which, I gotta say, looks pretty sexy on me- I make white button-downs and long, black half-apron look good). And do you know who was in the lobby, waiting to be seated?
Maria, Alvarez, Yao… and Braginski.
I narrowed my eyes at Braginski and muttered a quick and stony, "I'll be right with you" and ran off to take care of my tables. I told Sofie, one of the waitresses, to seat them for me and to please, please, wait on them, but she cheerfully replied that, while she would seat them for me, it was my turn for a table.
Sooooo I was forced to deal with them.
But what I wanted to know was, since Braginski didn't want anything to do with me, why the hell was he there, and with his little commie brigade as well? (Ok so Maria isn't included in that but whatever.)
I got my answer when I went to greet them and Maria had this stupid smirk on her face, as if she was planning something, and did a little four-finger wave.
"Welcome to Roma's. My name's Alfred and I'll be taking care of you today," I said automatically, trying to ignore her as she kept looking from me to Braginski. "What can I get you guys to drink?"
"Water."
"Cream soda."
"Tea, aru."
"Vodka."
I swear a vein popped in my head when he said that.
"We don't serve liquor," I ground out.
Braginski pouted. "Water, then," he said.
So I went and fixed their drinks (I may or may not have spit in Braginski's) and took their order and everything was going pretty smoothly until I came back out with their food.
As I approached them, a man sitting at the table next to them stood up, knocking my tray over. Braginski, probably out of reflex, shot up to grab it before it tipped over just as I grabbed for one of the plates, causing the tray to tilt… and all of the food to land on the both of us.
He looked down at his scarf, (which was covered in marinara sauce) completely horrified, while I tried to get bits of spaghetti out of my hair and save what little dignity I had left.
"You idiot," he spat. "Look what you've done!"
I stood up and shouted at him, completely forgetting that we were sort of in a restaurant. "Me? If you hadn't tried to grab my tray this never would have happened!"
Then we proceeded to fight and insult each other and at one point I think I might have thrown a cup at him and Maria tried to intervene and we both told her to shut up and then I think he brought my mom into the conversation, which you just don't do.
So I officially hate Braginski, and if he thinks that I'm going to let him get away with being such a fucking bastard, he's got another thing coming.
This means war.