Misandry in Popular Culture, Part 3
So, this is part three of my Firefly anti-male series.
I got my first comment from someone who didn't understand my first part. <3
lots of pictures under the cut
This is friends only because this time I really need to do some editing to make it ANGRIER!! ETA: Tried making it angrier, the exclamation points were breeding too much... Public now.
My mom absconded with my Firefly boxset, so who knows when the next part will be?
For those who didn't see it, this is where I decided to do the first part. The rest of the parts are coming because they're silly and fun to do.
Previous Installments:
Part 1: "Serenity"
Part 2: "The Train Job" & "Bushwhacked"
To Come:
Part 4: "Our Mrs. Reynolds" & "Jaynestown"
Part 5: "Out of Gas" & "Ariel"
Part 6: "War Stories" & "Trash"
Part 7: "The Message" & "Heart of Gold"
Part 8: "Objects in Space" & extra
Part 9: Serenity (the movie)
If Crazy Womyn is too fast, Part 8 may be out of order!
SPOILER WARNING: Obviously, this post contains some spoilers, but mostly it's just a wrong retelling of what happened in the episodes.
BIG OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: This post is obviously not meant to be taken seriously.
My evil twin, unlike me, doesn't use gender-neutral pronouns.
Evil twin begins:
****
sputtertoo: ohhhh next in your defense of your opressed male brothers
aic_weirdo: my brothers need all the help that they can get!
sputtertoo: indeed
sputtertoo: for we are oppressed and unable to formulate coherant thoughts if you go according to Firefly mythos
aic_weirdo: it's appalling
sputtertoo: it makes the baby Rob cry
aic_weirdo: awww
My friends tell me to continue! the best episodes have yet to come!!! Well, they are my friends... I'll give the benefit of the doubt because they can't always be wrong, can they? I put in the second disk with some trepidation and but also with some hope that the series would improve. Surely in our modern society, there would be no sizable fanbase for such a disgusting display of misandric ordure. Most series have a rocky start; this series will certainly improve!
This next episode is called "Shindig." A party! Parties are fun. Maybe the females finally accept the males as equal partners in the human race, and they have a party to celebrate their treaty! Yes, yes, I shall look on the bright side of things!
OK, this positive attitude is healthy. Let's see... the episode begins with a pool game! Ah, togetherness! I feel warm and fuzzy already.
And... some of the males are discussing how they're making a nice living for themselves by selling their brethren into slavery.
Oh dear.
Well, then. Yes, positive attitude! One good thing that I can say about this show is that it is consistent. It always lets you know upfront that the whole episode is going to be nothing but anti-male hatred spewing out.
Males standing around, all in a titter, bragging about how they sell each other out in to slavery? This definitely sets the anti-male tone of the episode! In under a minute! I'm impressed.
Why would they being selling men in to slavery??? HERE'S A THEORY!! What if they were born women, did something incredibly horrible (like being nice to a man?), and as punishment, were forced to have a sex change to become a lowly male, doomed to spend their days in dank holes like those males in "The Train Job"? Because they have a female brain still (unless science has improved!), they still want to commit atrocities against all males. Hmm...
It's the speculation that makes these episodes more bearable.
Main Enslaver supervises those silly penis people and smiles at their antics. Pets are so precious. She's probably thinking about which one would be fun to rape and rob first. Magical Flower hopes that it's him!!
Realizing that she has somewhere to be and doesn't have the time for a good rape, she sends out Magical Flower to steal money from the slavers for her, so they can be on their way.
She quickly shoves the money in her bra, amused at how easily the dumb "men" are robbed. Her coffers were overflowing because of the exploitation of men. Yet this show wants us to feel that this woman is a positive character! No! Bad show! No cookie for you.
The fight that breaks out amongst the lowly creatures as a result of the theft is just a bonus for her. The memory of it will entertain her all night!
Oh, what fun!! More violence against men. Wheeeee!!
Well, all good things (like scenes of men getting beat on) must come to an end, and the episode goes on.
What's this here??
This episode was written by a woman!!
Well, if you missed the first scene, that's how you would know for sure that this episode is just going to be a constant barrage of man hatingness! And there are people ENJOY this nonsense!!
Main Enslaver gets back on the ship, and her inbox is full of requests from males wanting to be raped and robbed by her. A little beating would be nice. Business is good!! Men are so stupid!!!
One sputters out "if you selected my proposal to hear, then the honour you do me flatters my -- my honour," so the audience can have a good laugh at the silly troglodyte trying to string a sentence together.
*sigh* Someone get that boy a thesaurus -- those things work wonders! Just ask your local womyn in the sisterhood of cracked out lesbians.
This is really hard to watch!
That boy was too needy even by Main Enslaver's standards, and instead, she accepted to go violate some smarmy pansy. Men can have no good qualities on this show, ever!!
It's a law or something.
Some of the crew goes shopping, probably to find something pretty to shove the males into. "Look at the fluffy one!" Mechanic says, probably imagining what Big Dumb Muscle would look like sporting it.
Too bad none of the males have the figure for it, so Mechanic will just have to settle on it for herself. Oh, the sacrifices that women make.
On this show, shopping isn't just a chance to buy frilly things for the males -- it's an opportunity to demean them in public!! The women glare at them and sometimes hurl threats at them to make sure that they'll always live in fear. "I can hurt you," the First Mate casually tells the Big Dumb Muscle, for example.
Look at the fear in the males' eyes...
Then, Magical Flower and Big Dumb Muscle are kidnapped, and no one cares for they have backup males to bully and rape. Why would they care??? MALES ARE JUST DISPOSABLE OBJECTS TO THESE PEOPLE!!
What are you trying to teach us, show?!?! Males are people, too. :(
I demand that you treat them as such!!
...
So, their kidnapper is quite polite and invites them to a tea party, and like a good male, he even puts up with the abuse that they toss his way. Things like "What happen? He see your face?" in response to him sharing that someone taking "an irrational dislike" to him. It was all quite lugubrious; at this point, I was just sad instead of angry.
This will learn me to have some positive expectations from this show.
Because they're weepy, emotional penis people, it didn't take long for Magic Flower and Big Dumb Muscle to open up about their feelings, crying about the time that their kidnapper "hurt [their] feelings" and whatnot. To make up for past offenses, the kidnapper invites the two to a ball, in the process saying something embarrassing and manlike for the audience to giggle about: "'Course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I got my hands on a couple [...long pause for laughing...] of invites."
How demeaning.
The ball happens to be the same ball that Main Enslaver is forcing Smarmy Pansy to take her to before she rapes him and takes all of his money!!
What wackiness will ensue!!
Oh, I can hardly wait.
The Mechanic forces the Big Dumb Muscle to give up his invite and makes Magical Flower be her arm candy at the ball. When they enter, she ogles him, calls him "Captain Tightpants," and makes sure that everyone knows that he's her property. No touchy!
Back on the ship, two of the remaining males commiserate with Big Dumb Muscle about not being able to go to the ball.
How beautiful they would have been if their evil stepsisters had let them go!! They would have been the belles of the ball, and they might have been rescued by a kindly soul who would have taken them away from the hell that this show is thrusting upon them. It would be glorious!!
But this is Firefly, and no man can be happy.
The female who got stuck guarding them stands by, ready to beat them senseless if they were to fall out of line...
Now it's time for a really disgusting scene!!
What this show doesn't understand is that a male's sexuality is SACRED!! It's a GIFT! A gift from GOD!! Or from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I forget. Anyway, exploiting it is a sin against nature, and the people who worked on this show should be ASHAMED!!
Here we get a graphic portrayal of what happens to the poor man after he is raped!! His gift having been VIOLENTLY stolen from him!! This is an affront to all things good and fluffy in the world!
The male thinks that someone actually cares for him as a person (see how dumb men on this show are?!), instead of just using him for his body and as an easy way to get a temporary surge of feelings of power. He tries to write a poem to his rapist, and she just ignores him. She already got what she wanted, why does she need him anymore?!?!
Women only think about their own selfish pleasure, never about the people that they hurt!
God, show, you suck.
That big vein in my forehead is visibly pulsating, this scene angered me so!!
This show is just anti-male trash. I wouldn't force it on my worst enemies!! No, not even on the people who created Firefly! My rage is so great.
But I vowed to get through this to help my oppressed brothers... and onward I shall go!
Back to the party?
Magical Flower meets Miss Persephone at the party and compliments him on the beautiful sash. His owners never let him enter beauty pageants.
Oh, the injustice of it all.
Meanwhile, the Mechanic is hunting for men (again!) and manages to collect quite a harem, composed of males basking in her sage advice and in the small attention from a superior being that they're receiving.
One of the beasts tries to ask her for a dance, but the others beat him down. There will be no favourites in this situation!! They're given attention so rarely, and they're not about to let another peon take it away.
Seeing an opportunity for comedy, the Main Enslaver gets Magical Flower and Smarmy Pansy to fight. Wacky fun can only follow!
It's a strange idea of foreplay that she has.
The kidnapper drops by the ship during the festivities. He's an unpleasant guest, and the space cadets who weren't invited to the ball comfort each other, so they don't burst into tears.
It would have been great if one of them started crying...
Dreamer isn't impressed with the new males; she just stops by to ensure that her brother is hard at work spreading the good word of her awesomeness.
Meanwhile, Main Enslaver tries to teach her pet a few tricks, so he doesn't get killed while fighting for her entertainment. He needs to last longer after all the time she's invested in training him and molding him just the way she likes him.
This show is sick! All the males fighting each other for the women's pleasure... what is this teaching the youth of today?
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!
Oh, it gets WORSE! We get to see the fight between the males at length.
Magical Flower, despite the lessons from his enslaver, doesn't live up to her expectations but is none the wiser. "He thinks he's doing well, doesn't he?" Miss Persephone observes, hoping to gain favour from the enslaver.
Main Enslaver was disappointed in her toy; maybe she should just cut her losses and adopt Miss Persephone there! I bet he'd be happy to go home with her!!
The fights goes on too long for Main Enslaver's tastes. She easily distracts the Smarmy Pansy. She already raped him and took his money -- why does she care if he were to die?!
Ah, more shots of a man writhing around. This show does deliver the good stuff.
Of course, this show doesn't settle for merely wounding a man -- you must spit insults at him when he's down!!
Main Enslaver tells him that he's damaged goods, no respectable woman will ever want to rape him again. Miss Persephone throws in, "You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get women. God help you!"
Ooo, cock blocked!!
Silly man.
Wow, show, this sure is funny!! Hehe, NOT!
So, our Main Enslaver gets a happy ending. While reflecting on the sweet setup she has on Serenity (all sorts of men to push around and rape daily!), she can also happily remember that she sure did cause a lot of misery for men in this episode.
Magical Flower whines about being hurt; she ignores him and goes back to thinking about how great it is to be her.
Life is good.
...
Yes, this episode definitely was written by a woman!!!
*twitch*twitch*
Oh, let's finish off the disk! I'm feeling particularly masochistic today.
This one is called "Safe," and given the previous episodes, we can say without any doubt that this is a total misnomer. We know full well that "safe" just indicates that this episode is going to be about males in pain and danger!
Oooh, this episode has some flashbacks!! To let us know that the Token was always a weak-willed, whiny slave to his sister.
We also learn that their father was pussy-whipped by their mother (quelle surprise!), and we see the lengths that Token will go to in order to serve his sister well (losing his job, getting arrested, etc.). His entire life is subverted by females!!
Of course, his actions are honourable within the framework of the show. What a message to send!!
I'm quite ill, so that will be the last mention of the flashbacks in this episode. We're already well aware that this show hates men and fucks with them, so let's focus on the indignities of all the men!
In "current times," Token's sister gets to instill fear in a ship full of men. How delightful!!
She prances around like she owns the place and threatens Magical Flower (you know, the supposed CAPTAIN of the ship!) whenever he dares approach her. "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems," she whispers menacingly to get him to run away.
On this beautiful, sunny day, the ship is landing in a place chock full of ugly men who kill and skin precious little bunnies. They also have big knives to make up for small penises.
Bunny killing definitely puts someone on the positive side of the litmus test for evil. So does being ugly. And having a small penis, and well, JUST BEING A MAN!!
Ohh, that group is going to cause trouble. Way to be subtle, show!
Back to our main group of subjugated males... they're forced to unload Miss Persephone's cattle, while the women "supervise" (i.e., get ready to beat them around if they don't perform the task satisfactorily).
The men can only take out their frustration over their situation on the cows. "I like smackin' 'em," Big Dumb Muscle happily tells Magical Flower.
Poor, poor men in this show.
Well, most of the males are forced to work unloading the cattle. The Pilot's exempt because it amuses the First Mate to rape him and toy with his little man brain. See, if you're a favoured slave, you get out of manual labour from time to time!
(ugh a man's name is getting in the way of my screenshot...) I mean, WHOO!, a man's name is getting in the way of my screenshot! Way to take control! BOY POWER!
Anyway, some of them go to buy pretty things at a local store. Mechanic is in a generous mood, and having taken a shine to Token, she considers buying him a present. He'll be treated better by his master than the Pilot is, that's for sure. The Mechanic wants to romance him before the raping starts, I assume; it makes the game all that more fun!!
Of course, Token, being a dumb male, says something dumb, and he loses his present opportunity. Tsk tsk.
Main Enslaver watches that ungrateful male and takes note to give him a good lashing when they get back to the ship.
The males who were left alone get in to a gun fight, which is totally surprising!!!
One of the lawmen who came for their business associates is black!! OHMIGOD THIS SHOW IS RACIST!!
Dreamer finds some hillfolk to dance with, and some of the people clapping her on are black!
This show is so very racist!! I'm going to be sick...
AND THE RACISM NEVER CEASES!!
The show realizes that there's a black man (double worthless!) on the ship!! A black man WHO CAN BE HURT!!
Take that Mr. "I do feel awfully useless"!! That'll learn ya for mouthing off to the women on this show and whining to them about your problems!!
The First Mate takes care of him (despite him being a disposable male), and it really does seem that they're getting along quite splendidly without their Token Male Doctor.
Wow, show, you try to empower a male with a title of respect, and you just denigrate him at every opportunity!! He's just there to look pretty, not to help. Admit it now!
This is one depraved series!!!
Anyway, their "empowered" band-aid dispenser was kidnapped after being distracted by singing the praises of his dancing sister. Quite the dancer. Everyone had to know!
He gets beat around a little by those bunny killers because violence against men is funny!! It's even funnier when it's males inflicted it on other males!!
Well, life goes on without that whiny princess on board.
Magical Flower and Rape Victim are trying to come up with a plan of action to help their wounded brother.
Unsurprisingly, they're completely incompetent, and Main Enslaver has to come and tell them explicitly what to do.
Those flaky men and their puny brains just can't do anything right without a woman's assistance.
Another lesson that this show gives us about the real nature of men is that they're snoopy busybodies and rifle through each other's things when one is gone.
Way to enforce antiquated gender roles, you stupid show!!
Token seems to have a lot of drugs there...
I wonder if this shall be a recurring theme?
They find a medical facility for the stupid man who got in the way of the bullet. While they're letting in a horde of ugly, bland men, they take the opportunity to throw in some more "CAPTAIN IS STUPID!!" dialog with his asking the smart woman, "What's 'sanguine' mean?" Don't they let the men near a dictionary ever???
So the ugly, bland men see the Preacher's ident card, and they hurriedly get him some help (from female doctors, I would assume!!)
Oooh, all so mysterious! So much speculation on what Preacher's past could be!
I'll tell you what it PROBABLY is! He was a male companion who really pleased the ladies, and now, in case he decides to return to the business, they want to make sure that he's kept in pristine condition, so he gets swift medical attention at all times!
And that's the way it is.
Meanwhile, Token is being pushed around by a different group of a women than we're used to.
One of these women is black! WILL THE RACISM NEVER END?!?!?
I feel nothing but contempt for this show!!
Token makes sure to slip into conversion with his new enslavers how awesome his sister is, and she rewards him with a treat.
Good doggie!!
Token manages to piss off the villagers with very little effort and must face the wrath of a mob of ugly, drunken, stupid men. (Is there any other kind of man in this show??)
geez
Token is rescued by the women and the pretty male window dressing sidekick (i.e., the "captain") tags along.
Token is returned to his cage and the status quo is SAFE (episode title!) for another day.
....
No, this show is not improving!! My friends are on crack!!
Next up: A male is thrust into a forced marriage for laughs!!
I also will try to learn the characters' names!
I got my first comment from someone who didn't understand my first part. <3
lots of pictures under the cut
This is friends only because this time I really need to do some editing to make it ANGRIER!! ETA: Tried making it angrier, the exclamation points were breeding too much... Public now.
My mom absconded with my Firefly boxset, so who knows when the next part will be?
For those who didn't see it, this is where I decided to do the first part. The rest of the parts are coming because they're silly and fun to do.
Previous Installments:
Part 1: "Serenity"
Part 2: "The Train Job" & "Bushwhacked"
To Come:
Part 4: "Our Mrs. Reynolds" & "Jaynestown"
Part 5: "Out of Gas" & "Ariel"
Part 6: "War Stories" & "Trash"
Part 7: "The Message" & "Heart of Gold"
Part 8: "Objects in Space" & extra
Part 9: Serenity (the movie)
If Crazy Womyn is too fast, Part 8 may be out of order!
SPOILER WARNING: Obviously, this post contains some spoilers, but mostly it's just a wrong retelling of what happened in the episodes.
BIG OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: This post is obviously not meant to be taken seriously.
My evil twin, unlike me, doesn't use gender-neutral pronouns.
Evil twin begins:
****
sputtertoo: ohhhh next in your defense of your opressed male brothers
aic_weirdo: my brothers need all the help that they can get!
sputtertoo: indeed
sputtertoo: for we are oppressed and unable to formulate coherant thoughts if you go according to Firefly mythos
aic_weirdo: it's appalling
sputtertoo: it makes the baby Rob cry
aic_weirdo: awww
My friends tell me to continue! the best episodes have yet to come!!! Well, they are my friends... I'll give the benefit of the doubt because they can't always be wrong, can they? I put in the second disk with some trepidation and but also with some hope that the series would improve. Surely in our modern society, there would be no sizable fanbase for such a disgusting display of misandric ordure. Most series have a rocky start; this series will certainly improve!
This next episode is called "Shindig." A party! Parties are fun. Maybe the females finally accept the males as equal partners in the human race, and they have a party to celebrate their treaty! Yes, yes, I shall look on the bright side of things!
OK, this positive attitude is healthy. Let's see... the episode begins with a pool game! Ah, togetherness! I feel warm and fuzzy already.
And... some of the males are discussing how they're making a nice living for themselves by selling their brethren into slavery.
Oh dear.
Well, then. Yes, positive attitude! One good thing that I can say about this show is that it is consistent. It always lets you know upfront that the whole episode is going to be nothing but anti-male hatred spewing out.
Males standing around, all in a titter, bragging about how they sell each other out in to slavery? This definitely sets the anti-male tone of the episode! In under a minute! I'm impressed.
Why would they being selling men in to slavery??? HERE'S A THEORY!! What if they were born women, did something incredibly horrible (like being nice to a man?), and as punishment, were forced to have a sex change to become a lowly male, doomed to spend their days in dank holes like those males in "The Train Job"? Because they have a female brain still (unless science has improved!), they still want to commit atrocities against all males. Hmm...
It's the speculation that makes these episodes more bearable.
Main Enslaver supervises those silly penis people and smiles at their antics. Pets are so precious. She's probably thinking about which one would be fun to rape and rob first. Magical Flower hopes that it's him!!
Realizing that she has somewhere to be and doesn't have the time for a good rape, she sends out Magical Flower to steal money from the slavers for her, so they can be on their way.
She quickly shoves the money in her bra, amused at how easily the dumb "men" are robbed. Her coffers were overflowing because of the exploitation of men. Yet this show wants us to feel that this woman is a positive character! No! Bad show! No cookie for you.
The fight that breaks out amongst the lowly creatures as a result of the theft is just a bonus for her. The memory of it will entertain her all night!
Oh, what fun!! More violence against men. Wheeeee!!
Well, all good things (like scenes of men getting beat on) must come to an end, and the episode goes on.
What's this here??
This episode was written by a woman!!
Well, if you missed the first scene, that's how you would know for sure that this episode is just going to be a constant barrage of man hatingness! And there are people ENJOY this nonsense!!
Main Enslaver gets back on the ship, and her inbox is full of requests from males wanting to be raped and robbed by her. A little beating would be nice. Business is good!! Men are so stupid!!!
One sputters out "if you selected my proposal to hear, then the honour you do me flatters my -- my honour," so the audience can have a good laugh at the silly troglodyte trying to string a sentence together.
*sigh* Someone get that boy a thesaurus -- those things work wonders! Just ask your local womyn in the sisterhood of cracked out lesbians.
This is really hard to watch!
That boy was too needy even by Main Enslaver's standards, and instead, she accepted to go violate some smarmy pansy. Men can have no good qualities on this show, ever!!
It's a law or something.
Some of the crew goes shopping, probably to find something pretty to shove the males into. "Look at the fluffy one!" Mechanic says, probably imagining what Big Dumb Muscle would look like sporting it.
Too bad none of the males have the figure for it, so Mechanic will just have to settle on it for herself. Oh, the sacrifices that women make.
On this show, shopping isn't just a chance to buy frilly things for the males -- it's an opportunity to demean them in public!! The women glare at them and sometimes hurl threats at them to make sure that they'll always live in fear. "I can hurt you," the First Mate casually tells the Big Dumb Muscle, for example.
Look at the fear in the males' eyes...
Then, Magical Flower and Big Dumb Muscle are kidnapped, and no one cares for they have backup males to bully and rape. Why would they care??? MALES ARE JUST DISPOSABLE OBJECTS TO THESE PEOPLE!!
What are you trying to teach us, show?!?! Males are people, too. :(
I demand that you treat them as such!!
...
So, their kidnapper is quite polite and invites them to a tea party, and like a good male, he even puts up with the abuse that they toss his way. Things like "What happen? He see your face?" in response to him sharing that someone taking "an irrational dislike" to him. It was all quite lugubrious; at this point, I was just sad instead of angry.
This will learn me to have some positive expectations from this show.
Because they're weepy, emotional penis people, it didn't take long for Magic Flower and Big Dumb Muscle to open up about their feelings, crying about the time that their kidnapper "hurt [their] feelings" and whatnot. To make up for past offenses, the kidnapper invites the two to a ball, in the process saying something embarrassing and manlike for the audience to giggle about: "'Course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I got my hands on a couple [...long pause for laughing...] of invites."
How demeaning.
The ball happens to be the same ball that Main Enslaver is forcing Smarmy Pansy to take her to before she rapes him and takes all of his money!!
What wackiness will ensue!!
Oh, I can hardly wait.
The Mechanic forces the Big Dumb Muscle to give up his invite and makes Magical Flower be her arm candy at the ball. When they enter, she ogles him, calls him "Captain Tightpants," and makes sure that everyone knows that he's her property. No touchy!
Back on the ship, two of the remaining males commiserate with Big Dumb Muscle about not being able to go to the ball.
How beautiful they would have been if their evil stepsisters had let them go!! They would have been the belles of the ball, and they might have been rescued by a kindly soul who would have taken them away from the hell that this show is thrusting upon them. It would be glorious!!
But this is Firefly, and no man can be happy.
The female who got stuck guarding them stands by, ready to beat them senseless if they were to fall out of line...
Now it's time for a really disgusting scene!!
What this show doesn't understand is that a male's sexuality is SACRED!! It's a GIFT! A gift from GOD!! Or from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I forget. Anyway, exploiting it is a sin against nature, and the people who worked on this show should be ASHAMED!!
Here we get a graphic portrayal of what happens to the poor man after he is raped!! His gift having been VIOLENTLY stolen from him!! This is an affront to all things good and fluffy in the world!
The male thinks that someone actually cares for him as a person (see how dumb men on this show are?!), instead of just using him for his body and as an easy way to get a temporary surge of feelings of power. He tries to write a poem to his rapist, and she just ignores him. She already got what she wanted, why does she need him anymore?!?!
Women only think about their own selfish pleasure, never about the people that they hurt!
God, show, you suck.
That big vein in my forehead is visibly pulsating, this scene angered me so!!
This show is just anti-male trash. I wouldn't force it on my worst enemies!! No, not even on the people who created Firefly! My rage is so great.
But I vowed to get through this to help my oppressed brothers... and onward I shall go!
Back to the party?
Magical Flower meets Miss Persephone at the party and compliments him on the beautiful sash. His owners never let him enter beauty pageants.
Oh, the injustice of it all.
Meanwhile, the Mechanic is hunting for men (again!) and manages to collect quite a harem, composed of males basking in her sage advice and in the small attention from a superior being that they're receiving.
One of the beasts tries to ask her for a dance, but the others beat him down. There will be no favourites in this situation!! They're given attention so rarely, and they're not about to let another peon take it away.
Seeing an opportunity for comedy, the Main Enslaver gets Magical Flower and Smarmy Pansy to fight. Wacky fun can only follow!
It's a strange idea of foreplay that she has.
The kidnapper drops by the ship during the festivities. He's an unpleasant guest, and the space cadets who weren't invited to the ball comfort each other, so they don't burst into tears.
It would have been great if one of them started crying...
Dreamer isn't impressed with the new males; she just stops by to ensure that her brother is hard at work spreading the good word of her awesomeness.
Meanwhile, Main Enslaver tries to teach her pet a few tricks, so he doesn't get killed while fighting for her entertainment. He needs to last longer after all the time she's invested in training him and molding him just the way she likes him.
This show is sick! All the males fighting each other for the women's pleasure... what is this teaching the youth of today?
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!
Oh, it gets WORSE! We get to see the fight between the males at length.
Magical Flower, despite the lessons from his enslaver, doesn't live up to her expectations but is none the wiser. "He thinks he's doing well, doesn't he?" Miss Persephone observes, hoping to gain favour from the enslaver.
Main Enslaver was disappointed in her toy; maybe she should just cut her losses and adopt Miss Persephone there! I bet he'd be happy to go home with her!!
The fights goes on too long for Main Enslaver's tastes. She easily distracts the Smarmy Pansy. She already raped him and took his money -- why does she care if he were to die?!
Ah, more shots of a man writhing around. This show does deliver the good stuff.
Of course, this show doesn't settle for merely wounding a man -- you must spit insults at him when he's down!!
Main Enslaver tells him that he's damaged goods, no respectable woman will ever want to rape him again. Miss Persephone throws in, "You'll have to rely on your winning personality to get women. God help you!"
Ooo, cock blocked!!
Silly man.
Wow, show, this sure is funny!! Hehe, NOT!
So, our Main Enslaver gets a happy ending. While reflecting on the sweet setup she has on Serenity (all sorts of men to push around and rape daily!), she can also happily remember that she sure did cause a lot of misery for men in this episode.
Magical Flower whines about being hurt; she ignores him and goes back to thinking about how great it is to be her.
Life is good.
...
Yes, this episode definitely was written by a woman!!!
*twitch*twitch*
Oh, let's finish off the disk! I'm feeling particularly masochistic today.
This one is called "Safe," and given the previous episodes, we can say without any doubt that this is a total misnomer. We know full well that "safe" just indicates that this episode is going to be about males in pain and danger!
Oooh, this episode has some flashbacks!! To let us know that the Token was always a weak-willed, whiny slave to his sister.
We also learn that their father was pussy-whipped by their mother (quelle surprise!), and we see the lengths that Token will go to in order to serve his sister well (losing his job, getting arrested, etc.). His entire life is subverted by females!!
Of course, his actions are honourable within the framework of the show. What a message to send!!
I'm quite ill, so that will be the last mention of the flashbacks in this episode. We're already well aware that this show hates men and fucks with them, so let's focus on the indignities of all the men!
In "current times," Token's sister gets to instill fear in a ship full of men. How delightful!!
She prances around like she owns the place and threatens Magical Flower (you know, the supposed CAPTAIN of the ship!) whenever he dares approach her. "The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems," she whispers menacingly to get him to run away.
On this beautiful, sunny day, the ship is landing in a place chock full of ugly men who kill and skin precious little bunnies. They also have big knives to make up for small penises.
Bunny killing definitely puts someone on the positive side of the litmus test for evil. So does being ugly. And having a small penis, and well, JUST BEING A MAN!!
Ohh, that group is going to cause trouble. Way to be subtle, show!
Back to our main group of subjugated males... they're forced to unload Miss Persephone's cattle, while the women "supervise" (i.e., get ready to beat them around if they don't perform the task satisfactorily).
The men can only take out their frustration over their situation on the cows. "I like smackin' 'em," Big Dumb Muscle happily tells Magical Flower.
Poor, poor men in this show.
Well, most of the males are forced to work unloading the cattle. The Pilot's exempt because it amuses the First Mate to rape him and toy with his little man brain. See, if you're a favoured slave, you get out of manual labour from time to time!
(ugh a man's name is getting in the way of my screenshot...) I mean, WHOO!, a man's name is getting in the way of my screenshot! Way to take control! BOY POWER!
Anyway, some of them go to buy pretty things at a local store. Mechanic is in a generous mood, and having taken a shine to Token, she considers buying him a present. He'll be treated better by his master than the Pilot is, that's for sure. The Mechanic wants to romance him before the raping starts, I assume; it makes the game all that more fun!!
Of course, Token, being a dumb male, says something dumb, and he loses his present opportunity. Tsk tsk.
Main Enslaver watches that ungrateful male and takes note to give him a good lashing when they get back to the ship.
The males who were left alone get in to a gun fight, which is totally surprising!!!
One of the lawmen who came for their business associates is black!! OHMIGOD THIS SHOW IS RACIST!!
Dreamer finds some hillfolk to dance with, and some of the people clapping her on are black!
This show is so very racist!! I'm going to be sick...
AND THE RACISM NEVER CEASES!!
The show realizes that there's a black man (double worthless!) on the ship!! A black man WHO CAN BE HURT!!
Take that Mr. "I do feel awfully useless"!! That'll learn ya for mouthing off to the women on this show and whining to them about your problems!!
The First Mate takes care of him (despite him being a disposable male), and it really does seem that they're getting along quite splendidly without their Token Male Doctor.
Wow, show, you try to empower a male with a title of respect, and you just denigrate him at every opportunity!! He's just there to look pretty, not to help. Admit it now!
This is one depraved series!!!
Anyway, their "empowered" band-aid dispenser was kidnapped after being distracted by singing the praises of his dancing sister. Quite the dancer. Everyone had to know!
He gets beat around a little by those bunny killers because violence against men is funny!! It's even funnier when it's males inflicted it on other males!!
Well, life goes on without that whiny princess on board.
Magical Flower and Rape Victim are trying to come up with a plan of action to help their wounded brother.
Unsurprisingly, they're completely incompetent, and Main Enslaver has to come and tell them explicitly what to do.
Those flaky men and their puny brains just can't do anything right without a woman's assistance.
Another lesson that this show gives us about the real nature of men is that they're snoopy busybodies and rifle through each other's things when one is gone.
Way to enforce antiquated gender roles, you stupid show!!
Token seems to have a lot of drugs there...
I wonder if this shall be a recurring theme?
They find a medical facility for the stupid man who got in the way of the bullet. While they're letting in a horde of ugly, bland men, they take the opportunity to throw in some more "CAPTAIN IS STUPID!!" dialog with his asking the smart woman, "What's 'sanguine' mean?" Don't they let the men near a dictionary ever???
So the ugly, bland men see the Preacher's ident card, and they hurriedly get him some help (from female doctors, I would assume!!)
Oooh, all so mysterious! So much speculation on what Preacher's past could be!
I'll tell you what it PROBABLY is! He was a male companion who really pleased the ladies, and now, in case he decides to return to the business, they want to make sure that he's kept in pristine condition, so he gets swift medical attention at all times!
And that's the way it is.
Meanwhile, Token is being pushed around by a different group of a women than we're used to.
One of these women is black! WILL THE RACISM NEVER END?!?!?
I feel nothing but contempt for this show!!
Token makes sure to slip into conversion with his new enslavers how awesome his sister is, and she rewards him with a treat.
Good doggie!!
Token manages to piss off the villagers with very little effort and must face the wrath of a mob of ugly, drunken, stupid men. (Is there any other kind of man in this show??)
geez
Token is rescued by the women and the pretty male window dressing sidekick (i.e., the "captain") tags along.
Token is returned to his cage and the status quo is SAFE (episode title!) for another day.
....
No, this show is not improving!! My friends are on crack!!
Next up: A male is thrust into a forced marriage for laughs!!
I also will try to learn the characters' names!