Spoilers and Dracula and Spoilers
I had Kirsten and Katie over for dinner on Saturday evening. I had lent Kirsten my copy of Sarah Rees Brennan's The Demon's Lexicon and she had enjoyed it a lot.
KIRSTEN: I really disliked Mae because I thought she was whiny and obnoxious...
AIMEE: *seething rage*
KIRSTEN: ...Until I realised that the reason I thought Mae was whiny and obnoxious was because Nick saw her that way. And then I thought she was awesome.
AIMEE: Ah, this is because Nick is a demon.
KATIE: Um, thanks.
AIMEE: I spoiled you, oh no! Don't worry, it's not the only spoiler. There are other exciting things to discover.
KIRSTEN: What? Like how Alan and Nick aren't actually related?
KATIE: DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE?
Kirsten is very amusing when she is outraged over political issues. She stops being able to talk in full sentences.
Also, I have three-quarters of a passionfruit cheesecake in my fridge if anyone wants to come and eat it with me. Hannah is, unfortunately, lactose intolerant so the flat garbage disposal is no help.
(No seriously. Hannah is our garbage disposal.
EMILY: Hannah, I have some left over carrot from my lunch. Want it?
HANNAH: I AM NOT A RUBBISH BIN.
JACK: Just get rid of it.
HANNAH: Well, if you're throwing it away...)
In other news, I am reading Dracula for the first time. I did not realise how hilarious this book is. I feel very sorry for Van Helsing and kind of want to give him a hug.
VAN HELSING: Now we have given Lucy a blood transfusion from her strong, handsome fiance, she should survive. Please watch her every night.
SEWARD: *fails to watch Lucy every night and tells maid to do it, who then falls asleep*
LUCY: *is pale and bloodless in the morning*
VAN HELSING: *sigh* She needs blood again. Seward? You are a strong, handsome man of the world, who is coincidentally in love with Lucy. Show up some vein.
VAN HELSING: Now, I am garlanding her room in garlic. Do not remove it.
LUCY'S MOTHER: Oh hi, Van Helsing. Lucy's room was very stuffy so I removed the garlands of garlic and opened her window.
LUCY: *is pale and bloodless in the morning*
VAN HELSING: I am surrounded by genre-blind idiots. AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF STRONG, HANDSOME MEN WHO ARE IN LOVE WITH LUCY.
VAN HELSING: Now, Seward. Surely you have guessed why Lucy died.
SEWARD: Clearly it is some sort of rare congenital disease.
VAN HELSING: You know how in some countries there are stories of bats that drink peoples blood and leave teeth marks on their victims necks...
SEWARD: OMG THERE ARE BATS LIKE THAT IN ENGLAND?
VAN HELSING: It was a freaking vampire, you BIG BIG LAME.
There was also the wonderful moment where all the lady vampires are sexually harrassing Jonathan Harker before Dracula comes into the room.
DRACULA: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCHEZ.
We got our new shirts at work. They are beige. My feelings about this can be summed up by the following very articulate phrase: YUCK. And on Sunday I broke my name badge and got all excited about the prospect of being nameless for a weeks on end. Then Mere fixed it in like twenty minutes.
When researching Anti-suicide trends in Young Adult literature, I accidentally ended up on a website that accused John Green of pushing porn. Can I just say, the sexual incident in Looking for Alaska is possibly the least arousing thing I have ever read, and I have read Virgin Mistress, Scandalous Love Child.
KIRSTEN: I really disliked Mae because I thought she was whiny and obnoxious...
AIMEE: *seething rage*
KIRSTEN: ...Until I realised that the reason I thought Mae was whiny and obnoxious was because Nick saw her that way. And then I thought she was awesome.
AIMEE: Ah, this is because Nick is a demon.
KATIE: Um, thanks.
AIMEE: I spoiled you, oh no! Don't worry, it's not the only spoiler. There are other exciting things to discover.
KIRSTEN: What? Like how Alan and Nick aren't actually related?
KATIE: DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE?
Kirsten is very amusing when she is outraged over political issues. She stops being able to talk in full sentences.
Also, I have three-quarters of a passionfruit cheesecake in my fridge if anyone wants to come and eat it with me. Hannah is, unfortunately, lactose intolerant so the flat garbage disposal is no help.
(No seriously. Hannah is our garbage disposal.
EMILY: Hannah, I have some left over carrot from my lunch. Want it?
HANNAH: I AM NOT A RUBBISH BIN.
JACK: Just get rid of it.
HANNAH: Well, if you're throwing it away...)
In other news, I am reading Dracula for the first time. I did not realise how hilarious this book is. I feel very sorry for Van Helsing and kind of want to give him a hug.
VAN HELSING: Now we have given Lucy a blood transfusion from her strong, handsome fiance, she should survive. Please watch her every night.
SEWARD: *fails to watch Lucy every night and tells maid to do it, who then falls asleep*
LUCY: *is pale and bloodless in the morning*
VAN HELSING: *sigh* She needs blood again. Seward? You are a strong, handsome man of the world, who is coincidentally in love with Lucy. Show up some vein.
VAN HELSING: Now, I am garlanding her room in garlic. Do not remove it.
LUCY'S MOTHER: Oh hi, Van Helsing. Lucy's room was very stuffy so I removed the garlands of garlic and opened her window.
LUCY: *is pale and bloodless in the morning*
VAN HELSING: I am surrounded by genre-blind idiots. AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF STRONG, HANDSOME MEN WHO ARE IN LOVE WITH LUCY.
VAN HELSING: Now, Seward. Surely you have guessed why Lucy died.
SEWARD: Clearly it is some sort of rare congenital disease.
VAN HELSING: You know how in some countries there are stories of bats that drink peoples blood and leave teeth marks on their victims necks...
SEWARD: OMG THERE ARE BATS LIKE THAT IN ENGLAND?
VAN HELSING: It was a freaking vampire, you BIG BIG LAME.
There was also the wonderful moment where all the lady vampires are sexually harrassing Jonathan Harker before Dracula comes into the room.
DRACULA: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN, BITCHEZ.
We got our new shirts at work. They are beige. My feelings about this can be summed up by the following very articulate phrase: YUCK. And on Sunday I broke my name badge and got all excited about the prospect of being nameless for a weeks on end. Then Mere fixed it in like twenty minutes.
When researching Anti-suicide trends in Young Adult literature, I accidentally ended up on a website that accused John Green of pushing porn. Can I just say, the sexual incident in Looking for Alaska is possibly the least arousing thing I have ever read, and I have read Virgin Mistress, Scandalous Love Child.