Revelations.
As Michael waited for Lauren to arrive, he idly drummed his fingers on the table of the booth where he was sitting. His stare was fixed on the door, expecting her to show up any minute now. He had talked to her a few hours ago, no longer able to just keep wondering that thing that had been plaguing him for weeks now.
He had to wait only a few more minutes before Lauren got to the diner where they had agreed to meet. As she walked towards him once she spotted him, she smiled but Michael could barely smile back as he wondered if she would be willing to talk about what he was going to ask her. Maybe he should have mentioned that in the beginning, when he had talked to her on the phone...
"Hey," Lauren said cheerfully as she sat across from him, hiding the sudden concern for Michael that she felt as she took in his appearance. Stephen had told her about how he had been kidnapped by Charlie and his men, how he had been hurt, but she hadn't expected to see him so weary now... "Long time no see. How have you been?"
Michael just shrugged, not exactly in the mood for small talk. "Good. I already ordered you a cup of coffee, in case you wanted one."
She just nodded, aware that he just wanted to get straight to the point. Holding in a sigh, she waited as the waitress left the two cups of coffee in front of them before walking away. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"About... I wanted to talk about Aidan."
The name caused Lauren to stiffen as she poured some milk into the cup of coffee, and she stayed silent for a few seconds as she regained the use of her voice. "Okay... What about Aidan?"
This was where things got tricky, so Michael took a sip of his coffee without adding anything to it as he tried to figure out how to word what he was going to say. "Lauren, I need to know what happened in those days that I was gone in your last week of pregnancy. When I was in Los Angeles, remember?"
Now Lauren's brow furrowed as she watched him, not sure what had brought on this sudden curiosity. That last week of her pregnancy Michael had gone to Los Angeles for a job that Jack and Sonny had sent him to do, "a last favor," Jack had said. Did she remember that week...? "Of course I remember," she answered, her voice low and already sounding a little upset. "Michael, why do you want to talk about this now? It's been... God, it's been almost five years since Aidan passed away, why--"
"Because he was my son," he answered under his breath so that the breakfast crowd that was in the diner wouldn't hear him. "That seems like reason enough, doesn't it?" Lauren didn't say anything, she just kept staring down at her coffee, and Michael's patience started to run out quickly. Nonetheless, he was able to remain relatively calm as he asked again, "Lauren, what happened that week? I don't know if Stephen has told you about what happened, but Charlie held me hostage for nine days. In one of those nine days Jack showed up, and he...
"I don't remember everything he said that clearly," he continued, "but I remembered something that's just-... It's been driving me fucking crazy, and I need to know if it's true. He said how I could've been a great hitman; how he could've had me working for him a few more years if I would've used that anger I had after I lost you and Aidan. He said how 'not even getting the damn brat out of the way helped in putting that anger for that 'injustice' to good use.'" His anger flared inside him as he remembered Jack's exact words, those words that burned in his mind and kept haunting him, but he just kept staring at Lauren as he waited for an answer. When she didn't say anything again, it took all he had to not just slam his fist on the table to snap her out of her thoughts. "Damn it, Lauren, I need to know if he had something to do with it. He said that not even getting him out of the way helped. Did he do something that week, while I was gone?"
Unlike Stephen and Damian, Lauren didn't argue with Michael that Jack was dead and that he had probably been hallucinating. She didn't argue how maybe he had just been dreaming when that conversation happened; she just kept staring at him for a moment longer and that was enough for Michael to figure things out. Jack had somehow sabotaged the life of his son, otherwise Lauren would've been quick to say that he had been wrong. Jack had been responsible - again - for messing up something in his life, and...
"It's been five years, Michael," Lauren suddenly said, her voice even. "I don't know if it was Jack, but someone did...break into the apartment while you were gone. I couldn't see who they were, but they were looking for you. I said I didn't know where you were, and they didn't believe me. I got knocked down, and..." She trailed off, turning her gaze towards the window so she could watch the cars drive by in the street. Somehow that seemed like a better thing to look at than staring at Michael's reaction. "When I woke up later on, one of the neighbors was telling me that an ambulance was coming and that they were trying to get a hold of you. That's all I remember."
It was hard to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling, because right now there was a sense of helplessness intertwined with a sudden rage as he listened to Lauren, but he still kept his cool despite of it all. "That's why you always said it was our fault," he suddenly concluded, his tone cold. "That's... That's why you blamed me. Us. For our lifestyle, for..." As he trailed off, he choked out a mirthless chuckle. "Wow, I was so fucking stupid for not seeing it before."
Lauren turned back to Michael. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to talk about it, and--"
"He was my son," he suddenly snapped, this time not bothering with keeping his voice down or keeping himself from slamming his fist on the table. A few hours ago meeting at a diner had seemed like a good solution, since a neutral place seemed like the right thing, but now he desperately wished they were alone. Or, at least, he would care about that if his temper wasn't getting the better of him. His voice level dropped down to a sneer, and he glared at her almost as if he was looking right at Jack and not at her. "He was my child too, and you didn't want to talk about it? That's great, Lauren. That's fuckin' great. Is there anything else that I should expect Jack to tell me about?"
"I never said it was Jack, it could've been someone else." She passed a hand along her hair, not really knowing what to say. "Michael I'm sorry, I just... I didn't want you to blame yourself."
Michael let out an empty laugh even if he looked livid as he took out a twenty dollar bill from his back pocket and left it in the middle of the table to pay for the coffee. "Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. You were doing such a fantastic job at blaming me all on your on, Laur." Standing, he grabbed his jacket from where it had been resting next to him. "Do me one last favor. Don't mention this to Stephen, because I don't want your damn husband to interfere with my plans."
Lauren looked up at him, noticing that the weariness that had been clinging to him earlier was suddenly gone. Now he seemed so determined and so furious that something inside of her tightened, worried about what he'd do now. "Michael, don't do something you're going to regret later."
Not bothering with an answer or even with turning to look at her, he walked towards the door as he put on his jacket and buried his hands in his pockets as he walked back out onto the street. Heh, she had told him not to do something he would regret later? He wouldn't regret it. Not once. Not at all.
He had to wait only a few more minutes before Lauren got to the diner where they had agreed to meet. As she walked towards him once she spotted him, she smiled but Michael could barely smile back as he wondered if she would be willing to talk about what he was going to ask her. Maybe he should have mentioned that in the beginning, when he had talked to her on the phone...
"Hey," Lauren said cheerfully as she sat across from him, hiding the sudden concern for Michael that she felt as she took in his appearance. Stephen had told her about how he had been kidnapped by Charlie and his men, how he had been hurt, but she hadn't expected to see him so weary now... "Long time no see. How have you been?"
Michael just shrugged, not exactly in the mood for small talk. "Good. I already ordered you a cup of coffee, in case you wanted one."
She just nodded, aware that he just wanted to get straight to the point. Holding in a sigh, she waited as the waitress left the two cups of coffee in front of them before walking away. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"About... I wanted to talk about Aidan."
The name caused Lauren to stiffen as she poured some milk into the cup of coffee, and she stayed silent for a few seconds as she regained the use of her voice. "Okay... What about Aidan?"
This was where things got tricky, so Michael took a sip of his coffee without adding anything to it as he tried to figure out how to word what he was going to say. "Lauren, I need to know what happened in those days that I was gone in your last week of pregnancy. When I was in Los Angeles, remember?"
Now Lauren's brow furrowed as she watched him, not sure what had brought on this sudden curiosity. That last week of her pregnancy Michael had gone to Los Angeles for a job that Jack and Sonny had sent him to do, "a last favor," Jack had said. Did she remember that week...? "Of course I remember," she answered, her voice low and already sounding a little upset. "Michael, why do you want to talk about this now? It's been... God, it's been almost five years since Aidan passed away, why--"
"Because he was my son," he answered under his breath so that the breakfast crowd that was in the diner wouldn't hear him. "That seems like reason enough, doesn't it?" Lauren didn't say anything, she just kept staring down at her coffee, and Michael's patience started to run out quickly. Nonetheless, he was able to remain relatively calm as he asked again, "Lauren, what happened that week? I don't know if Stephen has told you about what happened, but Charlie held me hostage for nine days. In one of those nine days Jack showed up, and he...
"I don't remember everything he said that clearly," he continued, "but I remembered something that's just-... It's been driving me fucking crazy, and I need to know if it's true. He said how I could've been a great hitman; how he could've had me working for him a few more years if I would've used that anger I had after I lost you and Aidan. He said how 'not even getting the damn brat out of the way helped in putting that anger for that 'injustice' to good use.'" His anger flared inside him as he remembered Jack's exact words, those words that burned in his mind and kept haunting him, but he just kept staring at Lauren as he waited for an answer. When she didn't say anything again, it took all he had to not just slam his fist on the table to snap her out of her thoughts. "Damn it, Lauren, I need to know if he had something to do with it. He said that not even getting him out of the way helped. Did he do something that week, while I was gone?"
Unlike Stephen and Damian, Lauren didn't argue with Michael that Jack was dead and that he had probably been hallucinating. She didn't argue how maybe he had just been dreaming when that conversation happened; she just kept staring at him for a moment longer and that was enough for Michael to figure things out. Jack had somehow sabotaged the life of his son, otherwise Lauren would've been quick to say that he had been wrong. Jack had been responsible - again - for messing up something in his life, and...
"It's been five years, Michael," Lauren suddenly said, her voice even. "I don't know if it was Jack, but someone did...break into the apartment while you were gone. I couldn't see who they were, but they were looking for you. I said I didn't know where you were, and they didn't believe me. I got knocked down, and..." She trailed off, turning her gaze towards the window so she could watch the cars drive by in the street. Somehow that seemed like a better thing to look at than staring at Michael's reaction. "When I woke up later on, one of the neighbors was telling me that an ambulance was coming and that they were trying to get a hold of you. That's all I remember."
It was hard to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling, because right now there was a sense of helplessness intertwined with a sudden rage as he listened to Lauren, but he still kept his cool despite of it all. "That's why you always said it was our fault," he suddenly concluded, his tone cold. "That's... That's why you blamed me. Us. For our lifestyle, for..." As he trailed off, he choked out a mirthless chuckle. "Wow, I was so fucking stupid for not seeing it before."
Lauren turned back to Michael. "I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to talk about it, and--"
"He was my son," he suddenly snapped, this time not bothering with keeping his voice down or keeping himself from slamming his fist on the table. A few hours ago meeting at a diner had seemed like a good solution, since a neutral place seemed like the right thing, but now he desperately wished they were alone. Or, at least, he would care about that if his temper wasn't getting the better of him. His voice level dropped down to a sneer, and he glared at her almost as if he was looking right at Jack and not at her. "He was my child too, and you didn't want to talk about it? That's great, Lauren. That's fuckin' great. Is there anything else that I should expect Jack to tell me about?"
"I never said it was Jack, it could've been someone else." She passed a hand along her hair, not really knowing what to say. "Michael I'm sorry, I just... I didn't want you to blame yourself."
Michael let out an empty laugh even if he looked livid as he took out a twenty dollar bill from his back pocket and left it in the middle of the table to pay for the coffee. "Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. You were doing such a fantastic job at blaming me all on your on, Laur." Standing, he grabbed his jacket from where it had been resting next to him. "Do me one last favor. Don't mention this to Stephen, because I don't want your damn husband to interfere with my plans."
Lauren looked up at him, noticing that the weariness that had been clinging to him earlier was suddenly gone. Now he seemed so determined and so furious that something inside of her tightened, worried about what he'd do now. "Michael, don't do something you're going to regret later."
Not bothering with an answer or even with turning to look at her, he walked towards the door as he put on his jacket and buried his hands in his pockets as he walked back out onto the street. Heh, she had told him not to do something he would regret later? He wouldn't regret it. Not once. Not at all.