I read this on a friend's myspace (hope you don't mind, 2) and had to repost it. Do you know how hard it is to type while tring to catch your breath from laughing
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I have a book that has an entire chapter on female masterbation.
-Letting your fingers do the walking
-Petting the kitty
-Strumming the happy banjo
-Visiting Disneyland
-Having a Calgon moment
-Engaging in a hot-button issue
-Giving lip service
And for the liberals among us, this is the last paragraph in the chapter... "My personal favorite, however, is 'voting Republican.' While it might not strike a lot of people as being in any way synonymous with masterbation, when you consier how self-serving a lot of the party's right wing is, voting for them and jerking off really aren't that dissimilar, are they? So that one gets my lusty, liberal vote. Next time you go to a store to purchase a vibrator, make sure you hold it up and announce as loudly as possible, 'I'm getting ready to go vote Republican!' That should give you a fine, cheap thrill even before you get home with the goodies." -Kiss My Tiara, by Susan Jane Gilman
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-Letting your fingers do the walking
-Petting the kitty
-Strumming the happy banjo
-Visiting Disneyland
-Having a Calgon moment
-Engaging in a hot-button issue
-Giving lip service
And for the liberals among us, this is the last paragraph in the chapter...
"My personal favorite, however, is 'voting Republican.' While it might not strike a lot of people as being in any way synonymous with masterbation, when you consier how self-serving a lot of the party's right wing is, voting for them and jerking off really aren't that dissimilar, are they? So that one gets my lusty, liberal vote. Next time you go to a store to purchase a vibrator, make sure you hold it up and announce as loudly as possible, 'I'm getting ready to go vote Republican!' That should give you a fine, cheap thrill even before you get home with the goodies."
-Kiss My Tiara, by Susan Jane Gilman
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Here's one I heard awhile ago and also like "jilling off" - like jacking off, but for girls. :)
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