Talk To Me 03./12. // akame
talk to me 03.
akame
R/ NC-17
Angst, Romance... what else... Angst?
KAT-TUN goes on a tour and Jin has to share a room with Kame. The problem is that Kame is the person Jin hates the most in the world. Can someone see the other's true self when hatred blinds him?
Warning: In this fic Jin will be quite cruel to Kame, emotionally and physically. And I mean it. If you're not comfortable with the idea then I'd sadly suggest you not to read it.
Chapter 3
“You cannot hate other people without hating yourself” O. Winfrey
Jin bent over the toilet bowl, his fingers tightly clenching the edge of it as he was emptying the content of his stomach. Then he fell on his knees, and tried to catch his breath. His fingers were entangled around his sweaty locks now, his eyes were shut tightly and he was continously shaking his head to get rid of the images in his head.
No, no, no, how could it turn out like this? I didn't want this. I've never wanted to hurt anyone. Why did this happen?
Leaning against the cold wall, Jin pressed his palms on his eyes and let out a whimpering sound. He still couldn't believe what he had done. Was his hatred really this strong? Can it really overtake him completely and make him do something so horrible? Why is it like this? And why Kame? Why him?
Jin's trembling hands clenched into fists and he slammed them into the wall with an angry growl. It seemed to him that he hated Kame much more, because Kame made him hate himself now for what he had done.
“Why? Why? Why?” , he kept repeating to himself, whispering. “How was I able to do that?”
3 days earlier~
“What would you do to make me keep your secret?”
Kame remained in one spot, seemingly motionless but Jin could have swore that he heard Kame gulp loudly and that made him smirk wider.
He clicked his tongue. “Interesting, isn't it? You're not that perfect as the whole fucking world thinks you are.”
“I'm not perfect, Jin. And no one thinks that.” Kame replied in a firm but quiet voice.
“Of course.” Jin had to laugh. “But they still think you're the obedient type, huh? What would they say if they knew you broke the rules? I can just go to Manager-san and tell him everything...”
“What do you want?” Kame cut him off, his voice turned cold and slightly annoyed but Jin didn't stop.
“... and they would be so disappointed...”
“What do you want from me, Jin?” Kame raised his voice a little.
Suddenly, Jin jumped up from the chair and with three big steps he stood in front of Kame so close that he could feel the scent of the younger one's shampoo in his nose. He looked into the shining brown orbs, the corner of his mouth twitched a bit.
“First of all, I want you to call me Akanishi and I don't want to repeat myself. Second”, he raised a hand and took Kame's jaw between his fingers, just like before. The younger one hissed, probably his bruise was still hurting. “you stay away from me because I can't stand seeing your ugly face if it's not necessary.”
Kame clenched his jaw but his face remained calm and Jin could feel the familiar feeling of annoyance crawling up from his stomach. His fingers dug deeply into the other's delicate skin. How the hell could he be so calm? Why wasn't he scared at all?
Inhaling deeply, Jin could feel his stomach stir at the scent of what he was sensing and his breathing quickened, his fingers clenched tighter. He stared into those shining eyes, unable to look away and unconscously held his breath. He fingers moved on their own downwards, almost soothingly, wrapping around Kame's neck when someone knocked on the door and Kame's body twitched at hearing the sound.
Jin slowly released the boy and took a step back. It felt like he just stepped out of some kind of magic circle he didn't notice to be in. It was only one moment and his mind cleared in an instant then he shot a surprised look at Kame before walking to the door.
“Yo”, Koki greeted when the door opened. “I want to talk to Kame... oi, why are you in the dark?”
Jin rolled his eyes and left Koki standing at the door. Passing Kame, he vaguely noticed that the younger man didn't budge at all. Jin lazily switched the lights on and caught a glimpse of Kame's face before the younger one finally turned to the door. His face was so pale that Jin stopped dead in his tracks, but Kame already went outside with Koki.
Jin shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. It didn't really matter. It didn't matter that Kame looked pale and sick. He remembered that the last time he saw Kame this pale was during the Gokusen days. And in Yuuki, maybe. But that was another kind of paleness. Could it be that he managed to scare Kame after all?
Jin had to smile at the thought. So that was Kame's weakness after all; that person who had visited him and the younger man got scared. It was still not clear though. Was he scared because he broke a rule or because of that person?
Jin lay down on the bed and tried very hard not to imagine that Kame would be lying next to him soon. He was deep in thoughts and almost fell asleep whe Kame finally returned and silently went to the bathroom to have a shower.
When he returned, he just lay down next to Jin without a word and turned around to face the wall. Jin could sense the fresh smell of Kame's shampoo and soap and suppressing a groan, he turned around, showing his back to the younger man and shifting so close to the edge of the bed that he almost fell down. He didn't hear Kame move anymore but he himself didn't sleep at all that night.
-
Next day Jin got up early, just to avoid Kame, who was still sleeping like a baby next to him. Jin cursed while he was walking to the hall of the hotel. He would be sleeping as well, if he actually could have fallen asleep that night.
“What happened Akanishi-kun? It's rare to see you here so early in the morning.”
Jin rolled his eyes and waved at his manager as a greeting. “It's all your fault, you know.”
The manager chuckled. “How is it my fault? It wasn't me who was late.”
Jin glared at him. “But I didn't know about that rule at all.”
The man grinned and threw an arm around Jin's shoulder. “How many years did you spend at JE? You should have known that the rule 'don't ever be late' is not my idea and it's not a new invention either. It's just that you've been breaking this rule ever since you became a junior.”
Jin gave the manager a snort but stayed silent since... the man was right after all.
“Don't worry, Akanishi-kun, I have wonderful plans for today”, Manager-san grinned.
“Oh no, another museum?” Jin didn't like the idea at all.
“No, no. Something else. It will be interesting.” the man winked and released Jin, who just stayed standing there, horrified at the thought what would come.
-
Kame literally looked through Jin the whole day as if he was made of glass. Needless to say, Jin was pissed off. He was so tired due to the lack of sleep that he felt like sleeping while doing the dance moves at practice. He fell out of rhythm every other second and just stumbled from one place to an other.
Eventually, he ended up bumping into Kame and almost sent him to the floor. Kame hissed at the impact on his shoulder but managed to stay on his feet.
“Oi, Jin. Be careful.” Koki snapped at him and touched Kame's shoulder gently.
“He was in my way.” Jin retorted, panting a bit and sending a glare to the rapper.
“What the hell are you saying? You turned to the wrong direction, Akanishi.” Koki raised his voice.
“It's okay, Koki”, Kame said quietly. “He didn't do it on purpose and I'm fine. Really.”
Jin rolled his eyes and turned away. Even if it wasn't intentional this time, it was annoying that Kame defended him.
Jin sighed and sent a last death glare towards Kame and Koki before walking to pick up his bottle and gulping from the water. Then he slumped on the bench and placed his elbows on his thighs, head hanging low. He was so damn tired.
“Are you okay, Jin? You don't look too good”, he heard a voice from above him. He slowly raised his head.
“I'm fine, Maru. Just tired.” Jin answered and Maru nodded then headed back to the others.
Then Jin's eyes widened. Nakamaru leaned closer to Kame and whispered something into his ear. The youngest man nodded and shot a worried look towards Jin, then snapped his head away when he noticed that Jin was watching him.
No freaking way! Kame sent Nakamaru to him to ask if he was alright? What the hell was that asshole thinking? Jin clenched his fingers around the neck of his water bottle as if he was trying to strangle it then jumped up and walked out without a single word.
“Kamenashi, you bastard”, Jin muttered furiously as he stood under the hot water in the shower. “Now they all think how nice of you that you care for me, even though I treat you like shit and I'm the bad guy again. You're doing this to annoy me, right? Don't think you can win, Kamenashi.”
-
Six pairs of eyes glared at the manager, though the man didn't seem to feel uncomfortable under the piercing gazes.
“Who wants to start?” he repeated his earlier question and the boys looked at each other, confused.
They were sitting in a circle in one of the quiet rooms of the hotel, each of them on a chair, embarrassed and silent. It was Jin who broke the silence.
“Geez, I feel like I'm at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. What is your purpose with this therapy session?”, he muttered, annoyed and made Nakamaru laugh nervously.
“You're right, I guess. It's pretty awkward. And we don't really see your point”, the oldest member said hesitantly.
The manager smiled. “You don't have to see the point, you just have to answer one simple question. Is there something that effected you during these days? That made you feel good or bad, happy or sad, or simply just different? That is the question. I'm not asking you to share things which you don't want to. But I can't imagine you don't have an opinion about this interesting situation. Maybe you learned something in these two days”, the man explained and looked around again. “Who wants to start?”
“Okay, I'll start then.”
They all turned to the tallest KAT-TUN member and their mouths parted in surprise.
“Yes, Taguchi-kun, please”, tha manager said and gave a gesture to encourage him.
“Okay”, Taguchi inhaled deeply. “I... I really like this place. It's quiet and peaceful.” he paused and the others just blinked at him, so Taguchi scratched his head nervously. “And... I liked the museum, too. That painting was interesting, it made me think.”
“Oh, really? And what do you think of it, Taguchi-kun?”
“Ehm... well. You remember that one of the figures was in shadow and the other was lit by that red light, don't you?” Taguchi went on and the others nodded, recalling the two blurred figures on the painting. “I think.... since you said the title is Healing, that the figure in the shadow is trying to ask for help because he is kinda lost in the dark, so much that he is completely hidden in the shadow, we cannot even see him anymore, we can make out only his arm which is stretched out to grab the other's hand. The other figure is lit and more visible because he's not lost, he's found a way out of darkness, so it's his turn to give a helping hand to the other who needs it.” Taguchi finished and he met complete silence. The others stared at him in shock and Taguchi, who just noticed it in that moment, blushed furiously.
“Wow”, Koki managed, followed by a surprised moan.
“Okay, but... why Healing? I still don't understand”, Ueda said, deep in thoughts.
“Because”, Kame started quietly. “Being lost is not always because of someone else or the circumstances. Most of the cases it's because we shut ourselves in the dark and it becomes something that surrounds us and makes our heart heavy or confuses our mind... like a disease. The brighter figure on the painting is like a doctor who can help the other to heal.”
Jin stared incredulously at Kame, then at the others who seemed to think about all this bullshit seriously. Are these guys for real?
“So that's it?”, Koki asked then grinned. “Then it's a happy ending for them, isn't it?”
“Not necessarily”, Kame shook his head. “If the dark figure doesn't want to heal and keeps pushing the other away, then the latter can't do much. And one more thing”, he added and fidgeted a bit, trying to decide if he should share what was on his mind or not.”
“What is it?”, Nakamaru asked, leaning forward in concentration.
Kame licked his lips. “We shouldn't forget that the brighter figure can't be seen clearly as well. I think he also came from the dark and he had to fight his own battle before. That's why he has his own shadows, too.”
The silence returned and all of them seemed to try to make some sense of Kame' words. Some nodded a few times, silently.
“Thank you, both of you.” the manager nodded, smiling. “I told you it would be interesting.”
“Fucking interesting, indeed.” Jin rolled his eyes.
“And you, Akanishi-kun? What experiences did you have in these days?” the manager pretended not having heard Jin's remark.
“Well, let me see...”, Jin furrowed his brows, as if thinking seriously about the question. “First of all, I hate this place. It's fucking boring, there is nothing here, I can't think of anything useful we had done so far. It's been two days I can't even close my eyes and have a good sleep”, at this point he gave a glare to Kame, who just looked back at him, not showing any reaction to his words. “There isn't even a goddamn club anywhere near and we haven't met anyone but each other. I don't see the point of visiting a dusty museum and having a ridiculous conversation about a painting which has a meaning only in the sick mind of the person who had painted it. All in all, I wanna go home and forget that I've ever set foot in this godforsaken town.”
After an embarrassed silence, the manager cleared his throat. “Well, that's an opinion as well. Okay, let's move on”, the man decided not to comment on Jin's outburst and turned to the youngest member. “Kamenashi-kun?”
Kame pursed his lips and took a deep breath. “Well... I feel good here, this place is really quiet and I think we can all agree that we need this once in a while. This place has its own charm and I like it. But... but...”, Kame hesitated. “I had bad experiences as well.”
“What was it?” the man asked, concerned.
Kame licked his lips again, which was the only visible sign of his nervousness, his face and voice was calm as always. “I think... someone doesn't really want me around and this person is blaming me for something I don't understand.”
Jin's eyes widened and he stared at Kame in shock.
“I'm not saying that I'm not at fault but... I won't know what mistake I've made if he's not willing to tell me”, Kame fixed his gaze on his shoes and Jin forgot to breathe for moment as he could feel everyone else's gaze on him. What is this asshole thinking?
“And...”, Kame continued. “I really think this person is scared of something. I can't see any other explanation for why he decided to even threaten someone. It shows weakness.”
Jin jumped up from the chair and needed all his self-control not to launch himself at Kame and punch him right then and there. The others held their breaths, while Kame raised his gaze and let his eyes meet Jin's angry ones. Jin pressed his lips together and turned away then walked out, leaving everyone behind.
-
“Stupid jerk, that bastard!!!” Jin kicked the table with full strength and ignored the fact that he didn't manage to do any harm to the table, while his toes were aching from the contact with the sharp edge of said object. “I HATE YOU, KAMENASHI, SO MUCH!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING????”
Jin's ranting was cut off by the sound of the opening door and the furious man fell silent, staring at the door, waiting for Kame to turn around. Then he was met by the fearless and shining pair of eyes.
Kame was looking at him as if he was waiting for Jin to explode, knowing it would happen sooner or later. And he was right; barely processing what is happening, Kame's back met the hard wall as his body was slammed into it roughly. Jin's hands were wrapped around his collar, his angry eyes boring into his, with such anger and hatred that Kame had to gulp.
“What the hell were you thinking, you really don't know your limits, Kamenashi”, Jin hissed, his face only an inch away from the younger man's, his hands pressing so hard into Kame's chest that he could feel the younger one's heartbeat under his fists. “You really pissed me off this time.”
“Then why don't you just punch me? Let's have a fight”, Kame suggested in a calm tone, making Jin's eyes widen in surprise.
“You really want that?”
“No”, Kame replied, his eyes didn't leave Jin's for one second. “But if you really hate me so much, then why don't we fight then forget about it? Maybe you would calm down.”
“I don't want to calm down”, Jin raised his voice, leaning much closer, his body pressed hard against the younger one's and Jin could feel how Kame's breath brushed his face. His own breathing sped up, his chest were raising and falling rapidly and he suddenly became aware of the other's closeness, the heat the other body was emanating but he couldn't move away.
“Why don't we talk about this, Akanishi?” Kame asked, his voice seemed a bit breathless but he tried his best to remain calm.
“Shut up”, Jin growled, unable to tear his gaze away from the other's face, his hands trembled a bit.
“Just let's solve this problem.”
“SHUT UP!!!!”, Jin shouted as he could feel the burning feeling in his stomach and the anger that made him unable to think anymore.
“You should just calm down and we...”
“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
“We have to talk about it, Jin!”
That was the last thing Kame could say before Jin tugged on his collar hard and ended up ripping it, revealing the milky skin of the younger man's neck and bare chest and Jin's hands stopped and stared at the half-naked man in front of him in daze, panting heavily. Then something flashed in his eyes and he pressed his body on Kame's form once again, his hands tore the remnants of the other's shirt and Kame's body jerked violently.
“Jin.” it was only a whisper but Jin could hear the fear in it and he smirked in satisfaction. He didn't know what he was doing, he just wanted to hear that fearful voice again, wanted to hear Kame begging him and asking him not to hurt him. His hands raised and started running over the other's torso. There wasn't anything gentle in his movements, his hands roughly grabbed the slim waist, his nails was digging deeply into the white skin and Kame let out a whimper, raising his arms to push Jin away.
“Jin, what... what are you doing?”
“Just what you deserve”, Jin hissed at him and grabbed a handful of Kame's hair to pull it hard and make the younger man look into his eyes, while his other hand found the belt of Kame's jeans and started unbuckling it. Kame's eyes widened, his body shook and he gasped.
“No..”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Jin finally unbuckled his belt and started tugging on his jeans, still pressing his body to him, with one leg between Kame's knees, rubbing on his crotch not-at-all gently.
“Jin, no.. what...” Kame's voice became desperate and begging as he continued writhing under the older man, trying to free himself, but with every move he only managed to hurt himself as Jin's grip was incredibly strong in his hair and on his waist.
“Stop.... stop it, Jin.”
Jin's smirk grew wider and he didn't plan to stop any time soon as long as he could hear those desperate sounds coming from the younger man. His hand tugged harder on Kame's jeans and he panted into the younger one's ears, feeling the scent of his skin in his nose and his mind went blank. Closing his eyes, he sank his teeth into Kame's shoulders and heard the latter crying out in pain.
Then it happened in a blink of an eye and Jin felt pain spreading from his stomach to every inch of his body and he found himself sitting on the floor, clutching his stomach, where Kame had kicked him.
Surprised, Jin looked up at the figure standing still at the wall, panting. His clothes were ripped, red marks all over his bare torso, on his shoulder a slightly bleeding bruise, on which Kame now pressed his palm, hissing. His face was flushed and his eyes unreadable.
What has just happened?
They were looking at each other, nothing was heard except for their heavy breathing.
“What were you trying to do?” Kame asked, still looking at the sitting man.
Jin parted his lips but was unable to respond. Indeed, what was he trying to do?
“Do you really hate me that much?” Kame spoke again, his voice was laced with hurt, barely noticable. “Would you feel better if you hurt me?”
Jin snapped out of his trance and jumped up, his anger filled his mind again. “SHUT UP!! YES, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WOULD FEEL A LOT BETTER!!” he yelled at the other man and tried hard to hide how much he was confused by his own acts. “I would feel a lot better”, he repeated and with one last glance at Kame, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
He didn't know yet how much he was mistaken.
04.>>
akame
R/ NC-17
Angst, Romance... what else... Angst?
KAT-TUN goes on a tour and Jin has to share a room with Kame. The problem is that Kame is the person Jin hates the most in the world. Can someone see the other's true self when hatred blinds him?
Warning: In this fic Jin will be quite cruel to Kame, emotionally and physically. And I mean it. If you're not comfortable with the idea then I'd sadly suggest you not to read it.
Chapter 3
“You cannot hate other people without hating yourself” O. Winfrey
Jin bent over the toilet bowl, his fingers tightly clenching the edge of it as he was emptying the content of his stomach. Then he fell on his knees, and tried to catch his breath. His fingers were entangled around his sweaty locks now, his eyes were shut tightly and he was continously shaking his head to get rid of the images in his head.
No, no, no, how could it turn out like this? I didn't want this. I've never wanted to hurt anyone. Why did this happen?
Leaning against the cold wall, Jin pressed his palms on his eyes and let out a whimpering sound. He still couldn't believe what he had done. Was his hatred really this strong? Can it really overtake him completely and make him do something so horrible? Why is it like this? And why Kame? Why him?
Jin's trembling hands clenched into fists and he slammed them into the wall with an angry growl. It seemed to him that he hated Kame much more, because Kame made him hate himself now for what he had done.
“Why? Why? Why?” , he kept repeating to himself, whispering. “How was I able to do that?”
3 days earlier~
“What would you do to make me keep your secret?”
Kame remained in one spot, seemingly motionless but Jin could have swore that he heard Kame gulp loudly and that made him smirk wider.
He clicked his tongue. “Interesting, isn't it? You're not that perfect as the whole fucking world thinks you are.”
“I'm not perfect, Jin. And no one thinks that.” Kame replied in a firm but quiet voice.
“Of course.” Jin had to laugh. “But they still think you're the obedient type, huh? What would they say if they knew you broke the rules? I can just go to Manager-san and tell him everything...”
“What do you want?” Kame cut him off, his voice turned cold and slightly annoyed but Jin didn't stop.
“... and they would be so disappointed...”
“What do you want from me, Jin?” Kame raised his voice a little.
Suddenly, Jin jumped up from the chair and with three big steps he stood in front of Kame so close that he could feel the scent of the younger one's shampoo in his nose. He looked into the shining brown orbs, the corner of his mouth twitched a bit.
“First of all, I want you to call me Akanishi and I don't want to repeat myself. Second”, he raised a hand and took Kame's jaw between his fingers, just like before. The younger one hissed, probably his bruise was still hurting. “you stay away from me because I can't stand seeing your ugly face if it's not necessary.”
Kame clenched his jaw but his face remained calm and Jin could feel the familiar feeling of annoyance crawling up from his stomach. His fingers dug deeply into the other's delicate skin. How the hell could he be so calm? Why wasn't he scared at all?
Inhaling deeply, Jin could feel his stomach stir at the scent of what he was sensing and his breathing quickened, his fingers clenched tighter. He stared into those shining eyes, unable to look away and unconscously held his breath. He fingers moved on their own downwards, almost soothingly, wrapping around Kame's neck when someone knocked on the door and Kame's body twitched at hearing the sound.
Jin slowly released the boy and took a step back. It felt like he just stepped out of some kind of magic circle he didn't notice to be in. It was only one moment and his mind cleared in an instant then he shot a surprised look at Kame before walking to the door.
“Yo”, Koki greeted when the door opened. “I want to talk to Kame... oi, why are you in the dark?”
Jin rolled his eyes and left Koki standing at the door. Passing Kame, he vaguely noticed that the younger man didn't budge at all. Jin lazily switched the lights on and caught a glimpse of Kame's face before the younger one finally turned to the door. His face was so pale that Jin stopped dead in his tracks, but Kame already went outside with Koki.
Jin shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. It didn't really matter. It didn't matter that Kame looked pale and sick. He remembered that the last time he saw Kame this pale was during the Gokusen days. And in Yuuki, maybe. But that was another kind of paleness. Could it be that he managed to scare Kame after all?
Jin had to smile at the thought. So that was Kame's weakness after all; that person who had visited him and the younger man got scared. It was still not clear though. Was he scared because he broke a rule or because of that person?
Jin lay down on the bed and tried very hard not to imagine that Kame would be lying next to him soon. He was deep in thoughts and almost fell asleep whe Kame finally returned and silently went to the bathroom to have a shower.
When he returned, he just lay down next to Jin without a word and turned around to face the wall. Jin could sense the fresh smell of Kame's shampoo and soap and suppressing a groan, he turned around, showing his back to the younger man and shifting so close to the edge of the bed that he almost fell down. He didn't hear Kame move anymore but he himself didn't sleep at all that night.
-
Next day Jin got up early, just to avoid Kame, who was still sleeping like a baby next to him. Jin cursed while he was walking to the hall of the hotel. He would be sleeping as well, if he actually could have fallen asleep that night.
“What happened Akanishi-kun? It's rare to see you here so early in the morning.”
Jin rolled his eyes and waved at his manager as a greeting. “It's all your fault, you know.”
The manager chuckled. “How is it my fault? It wasn't me who was late.”
Jin glared at him. “But I didn't know about that rule at all.”
The man grinned and threw an arm around Jin's shoulder. “How many years did you spend at JE? You should have known that the rule 'don't ever be late' is not my idea and it's not a new invention either. It's just that you've been breaking this rule ever since you became a junior.”
Jin gave the manager a snort but stayed silent since... the man was right after all.
“Don't worry, Akanishi-kun, I have wonderful plans for today”, Manager-san grinned.
“Oh no, another museum?” Jin didn't like the idea at all.
“No, no. Something else. It will be interesting.” the man winked and released Jin, who just stayed standing there, horrified at the thought what would come.
-
Kame literally looked through Jin the whole day as if he was made of glass. Needless to say, Jin was pissed off. He was so tired due to the lack of sleep that he felt like sleeping while doing the dance moves at practice. He fell out of rhythm every other second and just stumbled from one place to an other.
Eventually, he ended up bumping into Kame and almost sent him to the floor. Kame hissed at the impact on his shoulder but managed to stay on his feet.
“Oi, Jin. Be careful.” Koki snapped at him and touched Kame's shoulder gently.
“He was in my way.” Jin retorted, panting a bit and sending a glare to the rapper.
“What the hell are you saying? You turned to the wrong direction, Akanishi.” Koki raised his voice.
“It's okay, Koki”, Kame said quietly. “He didn't do it on purpose and I'm fine. Really.”
Jin rolled his eyes and turned away. Even if it wasn't intentional this time, it was annoying that Kame defended him.
Jin sighed and sent a last death glare towards Kame and Koki before walking to pick up his bottle and gulping from the water. Then he slumped on the bench and placed his elbows on his thighs, head hanging low. He was so damn tired.
“Are you okay, Jin? You don't look too good”, he heard a voice from above him. He slowly raised his head.
“I'm fine, Maru. Just tired.” Jin answered and Maru nodded then headed back to the others.
Then Jin's eyes widened. Nakamaru leaned closer to Kame and whispered something into his ear. The youngest man nodded and shot a worried look towards Jin, then snapped his head away when he noticed that Jin was watching him.
No freaking way! Kame sent Nakamaru to him to ask if he was alright? What the hell was that asshole thinking? Jin clenched his fingers around the neck of his water bottle as if he was trying to strangle it then jumped up and walked out without a single word.
“Kamenashi, you bastard”, Jin muttered furiously as he stood under the hot water in the shower. “Now they all think how nice of you that you care for me, even though I treat you like shit and I'm the bad guy again. You're doing this to annoy me, right? Don't think you can win, Kamenashi.”
-
Six pairs of eyes glared at the manager, though the man didn't seem to feel uncomfortable under the piercing gazes.
“Who wants to start?” he repeated his earlier question and the boys looked at each other, confused.
They were sitting in a circle in one of the quiet rooms of the hotel, each of them on a chair, embarrassed and silent. It was Jin who broke the silence.
“Geez, I feel like I'm at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. What is your purpose with this therapy session?”, he muttered, annoyed and made Nakamaru laugh nervously.
“You're right, I guess. It's pretty awkward. And we don't really see your point”, the oldest member said hesitantly.
The manager smiled. “You don't have to see the point, you just have to answer one simple question. Is there something that effected you during these days? That made you feel good or bad, happy or sad, or simply just different? That is the question. I'm not asking you to share things which you don't want to. But I can't imagine you don't have an opinion about this interesting situation. Maybe you learned something in these two days”, the man explained and looked around again. “Who wants to start?”
“Okay, I'll start then.”
They all turned to the tallest KAT-TUN member and their mouths parted in surprise.
“Yes, Taguchi-kun, please”, tha manager said and gave a gesture to encourage him.
“Okay”, Taguchi inhaled deeply. “I... I really like this place. It's quiet and peaceful.” he paused and the others just blinked at him, so Taguchi scratched his head nervously. “And... I liked the museum, too. That painting was interesting, it made me think.”
“Oh, really? And what do you think of it, Taguchi-kun?”
“Ehm... well. You remember that one of the figures was in shadow and the other was lit by that red light, don't you?” Taguchi went on and the others nodded, recalling the two blurred figures on the painting. “I think.... since you said the title is Healing, that the figure in the shadow is trying to ask for help because he is kinda lost in the dark, so much that he is completely hidden in the shadow, we cannot even see him anymore, we can make out only his arm which is stretched out to grab the other's hand. The other figure is lit and more visible because he's not lost, he's found a way out of darkness, so it's his turn to give a helping hand to the other who needs it.” Taguchi finished and he met complete silence. The others stared at him in shock and Taguchi, who just noticed it in that moment, blushed furiously.
“Wow”, Koki managed, followed by a surprised moan.
“Okay, but... why Healing? I still don't understand”, Ueda said, deep in thoughts.
“Because”, Kame started quietly. “Being lost is not always because of someone else or the circumstances. Most of the cases it's because we shut ourselves in the dark and it becomes something that surrounds us and makes our heart heavy or confuses our mind... like a disease. The brighter figure on the painting is like a doctor who can help the other to heal.”
Jin stared incredulously at Kame, then at the others who seemed to think about all this bullshit seriously. Are these guys for real?
“So that's it?”, Koki asked then grinned. “Then it's a happy ending for them, isn't it?”
“Not necessarily”, Kame shook his head. “If the dark figure doesn't want to heal and keeps pushing the other away, then the latter can't do much. And one more thing”, he added and fidgeted a bit, trying to decide if he should share what was on his mind or not.”
“What is it?”, Nakamaru asked, leaning forward in concentration.
Kame licked his lips. “We shouldn't forget that the brighter figure can't be seen clearly as well. I think he also came from the dark and he had to fight his own battle before. That's why he has his own shadows, too.”
The silence returned and all of them seemed to try to make some sense of Kame' words. Some nodded a few times, silently.
“Thank you, both of you.” the manager nodded, smiling. “I told you it would be interesting.”
“Fucking interesting, indeed.” Jin rolled his eyes.
“And you, Akanishi-kun? What experiences did you have in these days?” the manager pretended not having heard Jin's remark.
“Well, let me see...”, Jin furrowed his brows, as if thinking seriously about the question. “First of all, I hate this place. It's fucking boring, there is nothing here, I can't think of anything useful we had done so far. It's been two days I can't even close my eyes and have a good sleep”, at this point he gave a glare to Kame, who just looked back at him, not showing any reaction to his words. “There isn't even a goddamn club anywhere near and we haven't met anyone but each other. I don't see the point of visiting a dusty museum and having a ridiculous conversation about a painting which has a meaning only in the sick mind of the person who had painted it. All in all, I wanna go home and forget that I've ever set foot in this godforsaken town.”
After an embarrassed silence, the manager cleared his throat. “Well, that's an opinion as well. Okay, let's move on”, the man decided not to comment on Jin's outburst and turned to the youngest member. “Kamenashi-kun?”
Kame pursed his lips and took a deep breath. “Well... I feel good here, this place is really quiet and I think we can all agree that we need this once in a while. This place has its own charm and I like it. But... but...”, Kame hesitated. “I had bad experiences as well.”
“What was it?” the man asked, concerned.
Kame licked his lips again, which was the only visible sign of his nervousness, his face and voice was calm as always. “I think... someone doesn't really want me around and this person is blaming me for something I don't understand.”
Jin's eyes widened and he stared at Kame in shock.
“I'm not saying that I'm not at fault but... I won't know what mistake I've made if he's not willing to tell me”, Kame fixed his gaze on his shoes and Jin forgot to breathe for moment as he could feel everyone else's gaze on him. What is this asshole thinking?
“And...”, Kame continued. “I really think this person is scared of something. I can't see any other explanation for why he decided to even threaten someone. It shows weakness.”
Jin jumped up from the chair and needed all his self-control not to launch himself at Kame and punch him right then and there. The others held their breaths, while Kame raised his gaze and let his eyes meet Jin's angry ones. Jin pressed his lips together and turned away then walked out, leaving everyone behind.
-
“Stupid jerk, that bastard!!!” Jin kicked the table with full strength and ignored the fact that he didn't manage to do any harm to the table, while his toes were aching from the contact with the sharp edge of said object. “I HATE YOU, KAMENASHI, SO MUCH!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING????”
Jin's ranting was cut off by the sound of the opening door and the furious man fell silent, staring at the door, waiting for Kame to turn around. Then he was met by the fearless and shining pair of eyes.
Kame was looking at him as if he was waiting for Jin to explode, knowing it would happen sooner or later. And he was right; barely processing what is happening, Kame's back met the hard wall as his body was slammed into it roughly. Jin's hands were wrapped around his collar, his angry eyes boring into his, with such anger and hatred that Kame had to gulp.
“What the hell were you thinking, you really don't know your limits, Kamenashi”, Jin hissed, his face only an inch away from the younger man's, his hands pressing so hard into Kame's chest that he could feel the younger one's heartbeat under his fists. “You really pissed me off this time.”
“Then why don't you just punch me? Let's have a fight”, Kame suggested in a calm tone, making Jin's eyes widen in surprise.
“You really want that?”
“No”, Kame replied, his eyes didn't leave Jin's for one second. “But if you really hate me so much, then why don't we fight then forget about it? Maybe you would calm down.”
“I don't want to calm down”, Jin raised his voice, leaning much closer, his body pressed hard against the younger one's and Jin could feel how Kame's breath brushed his face. His own breathing sped up, his chest were raising and falling rapidly and he suddenly became aware of the other's closeness, the heat the other body was emanating but he couldn't move away.
“Why don't we talk about this, Akanishi?” Kame asked, his voice seemed a bit breathless but he tried his best to remain calm.
“Shut up”, Jin growled, unable to tear his gaze away from the other's face, his hands trembled a bit.
“Just let's solve this problem.”
“SHUT UP!!!!”, Jin shouted as he could feel the burning feeling in his stomach and the anger that made him unable to think anymore.
“You should just calm down and we...”
“I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
“We have to talk about it, Jin!”
That was the last thing Kame could say before Jin tugged on his collar hard and ended up ripping it, revealing the milky skin of the younger man's neck and bare chest and Jin's hands stopped and stared at the half-naked man in front of him in daze, panting heavily. Then something flashed in his eyes and he pressed his body on Kame's form once again, his hands tore the remnants of the other's shirt and Kame's body jerked violently.
“Jin.” it was only a whisper but Jin could hear the fear in it and he smirked in satisfaction. He didn't know what he was doing, he just wanted to hear that fearful voice again, wanted to hear Kame begging him and asking him not to hurt him. His hands raised and started running over the other's torso. There wasn't anything gentle in his movements, his hands roughly grabbed the slim waist, his nails was digging deeply into the white skin and Kame let out a whimper, raising his arms to push Jin away.
“Jin, what... what are you doing?”
“Just what you deserve”, Jin hissed at him and grabbed a handful of Kame's hair to pull it hard and make the younger man look into his eyes, while his other hand found the belt of Kame's jeans and started unbuckling it. Kame's eyes widened, his body shook and he gasped.
“No..”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Jin finally unbuckled his belt and started tugging on his jeans, still pressing his body to him, with one leg between Kame's knees, rubbing on his crotch not-at-all gently.
“Jin, no.. what...” Kame's voice became desperate and begging as he continued writhing under the older man, trying to free himself, but with every move he only managed to hurt himself as Jin's grip was incredibly strong in his hair and on his waist.
“Stop.... stop it, Jin.”
Jin's smirk grew wider and he didn't plan to stop any time soon as long as he could hear those desperate sounds coming from the younger man. His hand tugged harder on Kame's jeans and he panted into the younger one's ears, feeling the scent of his skin in his nose and his mind went blank. Closing his eyes, he sank his teeth into Kame's shoulders and heard the latter crying out in pain.
Then it happened in a blink of an eye and Jin felt pain spreading from his stomach to every inch of his body and he found himself sitting on the floor, clutching his stomach, where Kame had kicked him.
Surprised, Jin looked up at the figure standing still at the wall, panting. His clothes were ripped, red marks all over his bare torso, on his shoulder a slightly bleeding bruise, on which Kame now pressed his palm, hissing. His face was flushed and his eyes unreadable.
What has just happened?
They were looking at each other, nothing was heard except for their heavy breathing.
“What were you trying to do?” Kame asked, still looking at the sitting man.
Jin parted his lips but was unable to respond. Indeed, what was he trying to do?
“Do you really hate me that much?” Kame spoke again, his voice was laced with hurt, barely noticable. “Would you feel better if you hurt me?”
Jin snapped out of his trance and jumped up, his anger filled his mind again. “SHUT UP!! YES, JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WOULD FEEL A LOT BETTER!!” he yelled at the other man and tried hard to hide how much he was confused by his own acts. “I would feel a lot better”, he repeated and with one last glance at Kame, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
He didn't know yet how much he was mistaken.
04.>>