Amber 05./12. // akame
amber 05.
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
pg-15 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 7,061
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
a/n. Sorry for updating just now. To compensate, this chapter is effin long:)
o5. Onyx
They say human life is fragile. An accident can take away one's life in an instant, illness can make it miserable or ruin it forever, in the case of violent death you can't even comprehend what is happening and it's all over.
Compared to that, if someone's heart gets broken, it doesn't seem to be a big deal. It doesn't take your life away and you can't die of it.
Tell that to Jin, who had been robbed out of his wealth and his heart in the blink of an eye. Both committed by one and the same person. The person he loved and trusted, who meant literally everything to Jin. And all that had been built around that person now collapsed just like an unstable house of cards and Jin was now just sitting amongst the ruins of his broken heart and had no idea what to do now.
He just wanted someone to tell him what he should do, someone to show him the right direction. He didn't even had an idea how things like that could happen. Because how could that something terrible like that be true?
It must be some kind of very very bad dream which seemed to be true but it just couldn't be.
It couldn't be that Kazuya... It couldn't be.
“Jin, he won't answer,” Koki shouted from somewhere near. Jin didn't really hear him. He ended the call and tried again. For the hundredth time, at least.
“Jin, he won't pick up, don't you get it? Jin, pull yourself together, do you hear me?” Koki yelled, shaking Jin's tense shoulders. He wasn't really aware of his surroundings if the emptiness in his eyes was any indication. He seemed to be in some kind of trance and Koki was cursing now. If all that chaos was not enough, he must worry about Jin as well. Because the situation really gave him a million reasons to be genuinly worried.
After he caught a glimpse of the empty cabinet and safe, Jin just walked slowly to his sofa and lowered himself, pulling out his phone. Then he dialed Kazuya for the first time and almost an hour passed since then.
Jin was just sitting there now, with a face as grey as ashes and stared in front of himself; his hands moved on their own when the voice mail connected and he dialed again. Koki's words didn't reach him, though the younger man could see how he slumped deeper and deeper in the sofa with each call, and how his hope began to fade, slowly but certainly.
Koki was wondering when Jin will comprehend any of what had happened. And that was something Koki was not waiting for with anticipation.
The bell rang and a part of Koki relaxed a bit, the other half of him just turned more anxious, suspecting that Yamapi wouldn't be the happiest person alive either when he saw the empty safe, but perhaps he could do something with Jin who didn't show any sign of having heard the doorbell.
Yamapi stopped dead in his tracks when his gaze fell on the cabinet and wandered to the safe. His hands flew to his mouth in disbelief. “So it's true. Fuck, this can't be happening.”
“It was the same person,” Koki said quietly behind his back. “The same man who robbed me two years ago. His name was Kame and I never knew his real name. And it seems that Jin never knew Kazuya's real name. If any of those names are real.”
“That was a bit too much information at the moment, Koki,” Yamapi looked at him, still in shock. “It's like a fucking drama. How is this possible?”
Koki didn't have an answer to that. He shook his head and turned his gaze to Jin who was sitting in the same spot in the same posture, with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Yamapi followed his gaze and blinked at Jin.
“Is he okay?”
Koki exhaled. “Sure, he's fucking perfect, can't you tell?”
Yamapi was still staring. “Since when is he sitting like this?”
“For about an hour.”
Yamapi closed his eyes and murmured some silent curses then inched closer to Jin as if he wanted to tame a stray dog which could jump onto him any moment.
“Jin.”
He didn't get any reaction, so Yamapi went even closer and gently grabbed Jin's hand which was holding the phone. “Jin!”
“He's calling Kame... or Kazuya... or I don't even know, you get what I mean,” Koki snapped, burying his face into his hands.
Yamapi gave it another try. “Jin, answer me. Look at me at least!”
Jin didn't move, only his fingers tightened around the phone.
“Jin, please, say something!”
Once again, Yamapi didn't get a response and he had enough. He snatched the device away from Jin's hand suddenly and threw it against the wooden floor. That seemed to shake Jin out of his daze because his body gave a violent shudder at the movement and the harsh sound and his eyes came to alive. He lifted his gaze up and looked at Yamapi as if he saw him for the first time in his life before anger clouded his brain.
“Why did you do that?” he yelled, shooting up from the sofa.
He took a step towards the phone but Yamapi was faster. He picked up the device and held it up in the air, out of Jin's reach who grabbed Yamapi by the collar and then started the fight for the phone.
“Jin, stop being stupid,” Yamapi groaned as Jin twisted his arm behind his back, making the other hiss in pain.
Jin was still not really aware of what was happening, he didn't think; he couldn't. He only knew one thing - that he had to talk to Kazuya and see if the other was alright and was not mad because Jin hadn't shown up at their date. He just had to talk to him, to tell him that everything was okay, some things happened at home, unfortunate things that had nothing to do with Kazuya.
The younger man must be at home now, wondering why Jin didn't come. Yes, it must be like that. And now he just had to call him and apologize and ask him to meet up again. Then Jin would finally introduce him to Koki and Yamapi and they would see how wrong they were and just talked bullshit about Kazuya that couldn't be true.
And Jin wanted to do just that, it weren't for that stupid Yamapi who was not letting him have that damned phone and dial.
“Jin, that's enough,” Yamapi threw the phone to Koki who was standing with a pale face, watching the fight between his friends. Then Yamapi gathered his strength and with one move he tackled Jin to the ground and pressed his knees into the other's chest, pinning him down, his hands holding Jin's arms tightly. “Jin, stop it. It was Kazuya, don't you get it? He is Kame. Just deal with it and stop being so fucking difficult.”
Jin suddenly froze and looked at Yamapi with wide eyes as if he had just been slapped. “It can't be, Pi,” he whispered then threw a glance at Koki, his eyes screaming for help. “Koki, you must be wrong.”
Koki shook his head but remained silent. How could he say anything when he had been in the same situation before and nothing the others told him could make him feel any better. He must just stand by Jin's side because the other was going to go through hell when he finally comprehended what happened.
The weirdest thing in this whole shit was that the same person did that to them and Koki didn't know how to feel about that.
Yamapi slowly let go of Jin when he was convinced the other gave up the fight and was willing to listen. He crawled off him and helped him up, pushing him back on the sofa which Jin took as if he was a lifeless puppet.
There was silence for a while. Koki was throwing a fit in his mind, Jin stared at the empty cabinet and Yamapi tried to think.
“Okay, let's clear this up. Koki, what exactly did happen two years ago?”
Koki slowly lowered himself on a chair and didn't look at the other two men, especially at Jin.
“I met him in a club, he came to me and introduced himself as Kame. His hair had a different color back then and I think he is thinner now. I never knew his given name and after a while I gave up on forcing him to tell it to me. He said he was working at a computer designer company but I never knew the company's name either.”
“Jin do you know where Kazuya worked?”
Jin looked at Yamapi with hesitation then shook his head. “No, just that he took orders and designed catalogues.”
“Koki, for how long did you two stay together?”
“Only two months. I didn't even realize how much I let him into my life while I did know almost nothing about him. He had such an amazing personality, he was a great partner. He practically lived at my place but I had never been to his.”
Yamapi nodded. “It looks like that's his method. He makes you fall for him and let him enter your life, earns your trust until you become careless about everything else and you forget to guard yourself and your wealth. This explains why he has never wanted to meet us. Apparently he didn't know about Koki but he was careful not to meet more people than necessary so he was safe.”
“How is this even possible?” Jin said in a whisper. Yamapi could literally feel his heart being squeezed. “How would he be able to do something like this? I know that he also... that he wasn't pretending... he was...”
“Jin, Kazuya is a swindler. A criminal.”
Jin looked at Yamapi like he wanted to take his life away in any minute. Or his own. “Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I notice anything?”
“Just like I didn't do it either,” Koki said slowly, letting his gaze meet Jin's for the first time. “You were blinded but how you felt. Do you remember how many times you told me that it wasn't my fault back then? And I couldn't get the idea out of my mind that I could have done something about it if I hadn't been so blind.”
Jin shook his head in disbelief, his eyes shining dimly in the almost dark room.
Yamapi took a deep breath. “We should call the police.”
“No,” Jin said firmly, making the others look at him in surprise.
“Jin, we must do somehing.”
“Let me find him first.”
“Jin, what are you...”
Jin jumped up and with a few long steps he crossed the room to stand in front of Yamapi, looking into his eyes. “I want to hear his answers. I want to know what can possibly make someone play such a cruel game with anyone. I want him to look into my eyes and tell me why he did it.”
“Jin, I don't think it's a good idea,” Yamapi said.
“I don't give a fuck about what you think,” Jin spat, feeling how the numbness began to dissolve in his body and mind, gradually allowing something else to take over the empty space, a feeling ten times stronger. Anger. Rage. Every fiber of his body started to feel it.
Koki just pursed his lips and stayed silent. He knew Jin would go through the same process he once did. When his anger began to fade, there came the hate and when it quietens down, nothing would be left than hurt and pain. When he would finally realize that there was no other way than accept that it happened. And then there came the sense of guilt and feeling betrayed and that all of that was so fucking unfair. That bad things happen to innocent people and when you expect it the least you could be back-stabbed by the one you love the most.
Then all that's left would be bitterness. And the awakening waves of fury from time to time when you want to move on and forget but can't. When you want to get closer to someone but you are scared to trust. When you want to open your heart but you already know how fragile it is.
And Jin now started to get angry. Koki already knew Jin's anger. The man was all kindness and big heart but once he was hurt or those whom he cared about, then came the conscequences which were similar to Pandora's box being opened.
He still remembered how furious Jin was when Kazuya disappeared two years ago, leaving a broken Koki behind and all those ruins that could never really be swept away. Jin offered his help back then to find the man who had left Koki in such a miserable state and beat the living daylight out of him about which Koki had no doubt. It took Koki a lot of effort to convince Jin to let it go and let the police deal with it, that didn't find anything of course.
It was not Kazuya he was worried about, he was mad at him and revenge sounded pretty good to Koki's ears; all he cared about was Jin. He didn't want him to end up in jail.
And now it was all happening again and Jin was wearing the same expression on his face, except that now pain was just as much present as anger. And the person who was getting all Jin's anger was the same as well. How ironic.
And now Koki was worried about Jin the same, the difference was that now he had no right to tell Jin not to do it.
Apparently similar thoughts were circling in Yamapi's mind, too because he didn't argue any further. Maybe he thought he could talk to Jin when he was calmer but Koki knew better. He knew Jin was nowhere near to calm down. Not until he found Kazuya and beat the truth out of him.
“I'm going to find him,” Jin said with determination in his voice just to confirm Koki's suspicion.
The younger man stared at Jin, the body shaking with anger, fire in his eyes, a look drunken with the promise of revenge.
And Koki so didn't want to be in Kazuya's place now.
-
Jin felt as if the ground had been pulled from under his feet. He didn't have any hope to go on like nothing had happened. He felt like having been kept in the dark for three months and when the lights were switched on, he looked around and realized nothing was as it seemed. All that remained was nothing. Nothing at all.
After Koki and Yamapi reluctantly left Jin alone - he insisted - the man was just sitting in his usual place on the sofa and did nothing except for planning what he would do when he found Kazuya.
He still couldn't really believe it was not a nightmare and he needed to take a glance of the empty cabinet and safe from time to time to make sure. He gave up after a while though because every time his eyes wandered towards the proof of the harsh reality, he could feel his heart breaking over and over again, though it was more than enough for the first time.
He thought back to every minute he spent with Kazuya and now the beautiful memories were tainted by the cruelty of the present. In every piece of memory there was a tiny momentum, an almost non-existent detail that led to what was now in front of his eyes, with every moment he recalled, another piece of the puzzle fell back to its place. And all the signs were just telling that Kazuya was nothing else than a swindler.
The man Jin had fallen in love with, that beautiful creature with that angelic smile and pretty face, the man who gave Jin so much gentleness and love was nothing but a criminal.
Then Jin realized that probably Kazuya was not the only one at fault. Jin made a serious mistake as well, he couldn't see through what's been blinding him. If he had, he would have noticed that all they had was just too good to be true.
Kazuya disappeared from his life just like he came but the damage he had left behind was way too big to even think about. And not because of the gemstones.
Jin thought he could understand Koki now. He could feel what Koki was going through and he was sure Koki was the stronger one out of the two of them. Jin was convinced he would never be able to forgive and forget or to look at anyone else, not now, not in two years. Koki at least tried.
What an interesting twist of the fate was that it was the same person they both had fallen in love with. Jin wondered what their love was like and if Koki still loved Kazuya. Every time he thought about it, he could feel his blood boil. Instinctively, he hated everyone who had ever touched Kazuya but Koki was not someone to blame. Or not more than he himself.
But it all didn't really matter now, the jealousy didn't matter since Kazuya was not the person he thought he was. He never returned his feelings so to be jealous because of him made no sense. He had no right.
It was unbelievable how little time one needed to have their life turned upside down and lose everything they thought to be valuable. Happiness came into his life with Kazuya like a miracle he had never known he wanted. It was fate. Or at least Jin thought it was.
But it turned out that it wasn't fate that dealt the cards. It was Kazuya.
Jin was amazed how much revelation he made since he was sitting there in silence. Now he just realized what Kazuya meant to him and how he was planning his future; Kazuya was always part of it. He was so sure that the love between them was strong and real that his whole life has been restructured on a new basis. Happiness changed everything. Happiness that Kazuya gave and took away at the end. And it ruined everything Jin was so carefully building.
And now there was nothing left but this emptiness. Cold and gloomy. Grey, lifeless. Jin felt lifeless. The only thing that assured him he was alive was the anger. And the feeling of missing. Both of those feelings were directed towards Kazuya.
Jin knew he must find the younger man. He had connections, he knew he could do it. The big question mark was hanging above his head, asking what he was going to do when he found him.
Love cannot fade away overnight but it can be surpressed by anger and hate. And Jin could only think of one thing.
Of how to take revenge.
-
Papers were lying everywhere all around the table, covering the most of it. Kazuya's fingers were moving frantically as he read each, one after another, signing them in the end. Empty envelops were flying and landed on the ground as he pulled out the money from them and placed a certain amount next to each document.
When he was done with the last one, Kazuya jumped up and swiped up the papers, counting the money again and nodding to himself as he got the right amount.
The phone in the living room started to ring and Kazuya shook in suprise, his eyes scared. A sweat drop fell silently from his temple to his shoulder and he placed his palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat against it at a frantic pace.
He crossed the living room, stumbling to the phone. He needed to stop though to support himself, reaching out for the wall when the room started spinning. He didn't remember when was the last time he ate something.
Kazuya tried to take deep breaths to pull himself together, with little success and by the time he picked up the phone, he was so out of breath that he could barely speak.
“Yes,” he said, not really being able to decide if his hands or his voice was shaking more.
He was listening to the speaker, his body tensing, fear crawling up in his veins again - a way too familiar feeling. “Yes and I've got everything you asked. I signed the documents, I'm going there now and give them to you.”
Kazuya clutched the phone tighter, the expression on his face more and more desperate. “Please... please, just wait for me, okay? I need a few minutes, please... Alright. Thank you.”
He slammed the device on the table and rushed back to the table, picking the envelops and papers up. On his way outside, the room started spinning again but he didn't let it bother him. It didn't matter right now. He was safe for a little while now. Maybe.
-
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?” Yamapi said the next day, looking firmly into Jin's sleep-deprived, haunted eyes. The man looked back at him blankly, his face emotionless.
“Okay then, let's start with the good news. The company is not going to go bankrupt. The loss is quite severe but we'll survive.”
Jin didn't show any reaction, he didn't really have anything to say about the issue. He didn't care to say the least.
“Bad news however,” Yamapi continued and looked at Koki who was watching him with a frown. “the Golden Bay backed away from the deal of course, they want their money back. Which is not some pocket money, obviously.”
Jin didn't even bat an eyelash at which Yamapi finally snapped and threw away the mask of calmness he had been sporting on his face ever since that morning. “Jin, are you listening? We are in deep shit, man. The Golden Bay wants their gemstones back which we obviously can't give. So what they want and have the right to ask is money.”
“And they will get it,” Jin said dryly.
Yamapi's jaw hit the floor. “What? How the fuck will they get it?”
“I will get it back. I just need to find Kazuya,” Jin said. It sounded exactly as if he had told himself the same thing a thousand times before. His dark expression scared the other two men.
“Jin,” Yamapi started cautiously. “I know if you decide something, you won't give up until you reach your goal, but I would be very happy if you cared about the company as well and not only Kazuya.”
“I'm doing exactly that. Those things are the same. If I find Kazuya, I will find the money. I won't let the authorities have him until I get the whole amount back. Then I will ruin him.”
There was silence when Jin stopped talking and Yamapi wondered if there is any sanity left in his friend's mind. He shared a worried glance with Koki over Jin's head. Both of them had a very bad feeling.
-
It took only two days and Jin was already sitting in a dark pub, staring at Kazuya's picture with glassy eyes.
“Kamenashi Kazuya, born in Tokyo, on 23th February, 1986. His parents moved to the countryside when their son graduated from high school. He has three brothers, two of them abroad, the youngest one lives with the parents.”
“Thank you, Ryo. You helped a lot.”
Jin looked up from the photo and fixed his gaze on the man in front of him. Ryo nodded, but his eyes narrowed.
“This is not all. After high school, Kamenashi disappeared. There is no information about him, as if he had vanished into thin air. If you want to know more about him, it will take more time.”
Jin nodded silently.
“And here,” Ryo said and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, handing it to Jin.
Jin took it and read the address. He could feel his heart rise into his throat and he licked his lips nervously. It was a mixed feeling of fear, excitement and triumph, accompanied by the already familiar anger that surged through his body.
“It's his current address. Since you said it was urgent, I couldn't get any more information, like since when he lives there or whether he lives alone or not.”
“No problem, Ryo, it doesn't matter.”
“Do you want me to check it for you?”
“No, I will take care of that.”
“Are you sure, Jin?” Ryo eyed the other with a weird gaze, hesitantly scratching the back of his head. “It's an interesting neighborhood, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Poor, dirty, dangerous. If you really want to go there and what is more important, you want to go there alone, I would advise you not to put your Armani suit on because I'm pretty sure you will leave without it.”
“I don't wear Armani, Ryo.”
“Jin, you know what I mean.”
Jin sighed and dug the paper into his pocket. It was a weird, nostalgic feeling to have a piece of paper in his pocket once again that held Kazuya's contact information.
“I know, don't worry. If you want to worry, worry about Kamenashi. Because he won't escape this time.”
Ryo's eyes widened for a brief moment then raised an eyebrow. “As you wish. Don't do anything stupid.”
Jin picked up his coat and shook hands with the other. “Too late, Ryo. It's way too late for that.”
With that said, Jin strolled out of the bar. He didn't look back, all he could see was Kazuya and his hands clenched involuntary, the small piece of paper folding into a ball in his pocket.
Got you, Kazuya.
-
The feeling of triumph passed just as fast as it came. The determination remained, the desire to find Kazuya. Jin didn't know why but wanted to see if Kazuya was able to look him in the eye.
He knew there were only a few steps seperating him from getting what he wanted, in his hands he held the most important thing he needed, and in his heart there was the feeling of betrayal, more powerful than any other emotion.
He didn't tell anyone about the meeting with Nishikido Ryo. He didn't tell Yamapi and kept it in secret from Koki, too. It was better this way. Jin assumed that if his friends looked into his eyes now and saw the flaming anger in them, they would be trying to stop him. And Jin didn't want to be stopped now. The hate was burning in him more than love ever could. Or maybe the way only love could. Hate was just as strong as love. He wanted one to end and he completely submitted to the other.
As he walked along the dark streets, Jin gave the neighborhood a scrutinizing glance. Ryo was right, he didn't feel safe. People were suspicious-looking and dirty, the streets were dark and covered with garbage. He wondered for a brief moment why Kazuya lived in this part of the city but that question didn't really enjoy privilige now.
He found the building quite easily, big grey, ruined apartment house, almost completely without plaster on the walls, the whole building dark, unlighted. He was walking up the stairs slowly and enjoyed as the new waves of fury swept through him, with each step taking over a bigger part of his sanity. By the time he arrived at the third floor, he could feel himself shaking from restrained anger.
There was barely any hesitation in his moves when he stopped in front of the door and knocked it with his fist.
There was no sound heard from inside, no voice asking who it was, as Jin would have imagined it fit a place like this. Just a slow twist of the doorknob and the door opened an inch.
Kazuya's reaction was not unexpected. The beautiful almond-shaped eyes rounded and windened and every muscle of the pale face tensed in shock. The door would have been slammed shut in that instant if Jin weren't prepaired for that, too. But he forced his face to remain calm and stepped forward, stopping the door just before it could close. It slammed backwards and Kazuya took a step inside, startled.
“Hi, Kazuya. Or would you like me to call you Kame? Which one do you prefer?”
The younger man flinched at the cold and angry tone. He stepped back again, apparently terrified.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered weakly and Jin vaguely took note of the fact how different his voice was from what he was used to hear. It was nauseating. But everything about Kazuya was totally different from what Jin had believed so he didn't let it bother him too much.
“Kazuya, won't you even call me in? Where did leave your manners?” Jin mocked the other cruelly, lips curling into a bitter smile.
Kazuya stepped back again and nervously looked around. Jin supposed he was looking for a way out but Jin had no intention whatsoever to let him go. Now that he was standing right in front of him; trapped, trembling from fear, exposed to Jin's anger.
Jin kicked the door in brutally and pushed in the living room, forcing Kazuya further inside. “What is it? Are you planning on going on a holiday, Kazuya?” Jin looked at the half-packed boxes that occupied half of the tiny apartment. It was obvious that Kazuya wanted to escape, he just didn't expect to be found so soon.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered again, shaking hands rising in the air in front of him in what was supposed to be a calming gesture.
“Just shut up,” Jin said dryly and started walking towards the smaller man.
The fear in Kazuya's eyes started to grow until it was akin to panic. “Jin, please-”
At that in Jin's mind the last strap snapped that would hold him back from killing Kazuya right then and there and he grabbed the younger man's collar in a blink of an eye and slammed him into the wall.
“You bastard. You evil, heartless son of a bitch,” Jin hissed through his gritted teeth, straight into Kazuya's face. “Just give me a reason, one reason why I shouldn't kill you in this very moment.”
Kazuya didn't defend himself. There was something very weird in this whole situation and as Jin would expect some reaction, this theory proved to be completely wrong. Kazuya was almost totally passive underneath his hands, unmoving. If Jin wanted to be honest, Kazuya was in a pathetic state.
Somewhere in his blurry thoughts, Jin could sense that Kazuya was indeed on the verge of a panic attack as Jin took note of the sweat drops that were covering his face like pearls, his face which was pale and sickly white, his chest that was heaving in an abnormally fast rhythm. Kazuya's fear-stricken, wide eyes stared deep into his own and he could feel the pain again that he thought he had been able to leave outside Kazuya's door.
“What the hell was that, Kazuya? How could you?” Jin was aware he was losing control over his voice just like over his whole body as he started to shake the other by his collar who just let him do as he wished.
“Jin, please listen to me.”
“You are a little bit late for that, don't you think?”
“Jin, I didn't-”
“Stop it,” Jin yelled suddenly and shook Kazuya again. He was really starting to lose the last bit of patience he still had, allowing hurt and anger to take over. “Why, Kazuya. I want to know why.”
Jin was almost certain it was not going to be that easy to get an answer to that question. If Kazuya was really capable of doing what he did then there was no doubt he did it willingly. That was what his sanity told Jin. But the sight as Kazuya was standing in front of him, melting into the wall, the visible signs of terror on his face, Jin understood that there must be something else behind all that mess and this thought didn't help calm down at all.
“Look at yourself. You're shaking as a leaf.Why did you do it if you're that weak? If you can't stand the guilt? Was it worth the trouble?” Jin spat as Kazuya's eyes closed tightly and he squeezed them to avoid looking at Jin. It just confirmed Jin's suspicion.
“Jin, don't do this.”
“One week. You have one week to give the stones back and I'll let you go.”
Confusion was almost audible as Kazuya's lips parted in shock. “What?” he whispered in disbelief.
“I said you have one week. If I call the police now and they put you behind bars, I will never see the stones again. And that will not be enough for me,” Jin watched as recognition slowly started to light up Kazuya's eyes, as he finally began to understand what Jin was getting at. “If you give them back to me, I'll let you run and we'll have nothing to do with each other anymore.”
“Jin, I don't-”
Losing his composure again, Jin pushed Kazuya back harshly again. Just then did he realize how much he was trembling, too. “This is your only chance to give something back from what you've taken, don't you get it?”
As the words left his lips, Jin realized how true that statement was. “I don't care how. You have one week, Kazuya.”
Kazuya slowly shook his head, his lips slightly trembled and Jin already knew what was coming. “I don't have the stones with me anymore, Jin.”
Jin just clenched his fists until they hurt. “Then get them back! You don't have any other choice. And don't think you can get away, I will keep my eyes on you until then.”
Jin didn't even notice he was shouting until his throat became soar, his face twisted in anger and Kazuya trembled again under his hands, his eyes involuntary moved to the door that was leading to the bedroom. “Jin, lower your voice, please.”
“What? You don't have any right to order me to lower my voice, Kazuya,” Jin hissed dangerously, then registering the Kazuya's look, he turned his gaze towards the bedroom door as well. “Are you afraid that I wake up someone I shouldn't? So Yamapi was right after all, wasn't he?”
“What? I don't know what you're talking about.” Kazuya panted, eyes impossibly wide.
“You live here with someone else, don't you? Did they help you to swindle? Lover? Wife? Which one, Kazuya?” Jin didn't care about keeping his anger at bay anymore. Whoever it was that Kazuya didn't want to disturb, Jin was ready to face the whole wide world and fight. “Is that person your partner in crime? Or has no idea what you are doing for a living, huh?”
Then Jin fell silent and suddenly released his grip on Kazuya. The younger man stayed in the same spot, apparently immobilized and trying to figure out what Jin was about to do.
“Why don't we all sit and talk about it? Let's call that person here, why don't we?” Jin said coldly and enjoyed the sight as Kazuya slumped a bit downwards on wobbly knees. Jin forced himself to turn around and headed for the bedroom door.
Kazuya reacted just a moment later. “Jin, don't.”
He almost reached the door when Kazuya rushed to him and stepped between him and the door with surprising speed. “Don't do this, Jin.”
He was begging. Kazuya was begging him; with his voice, with his body, with his eyes and Jin felt himself to fall in control. He looked at Kazuya in triumph, none of them spoke for a moment, only Kazuya's irregular breathing broke the silence. Jin was amazed that he hadn't collapsed yet. It was a pathetic sight, Jin repeated himself in his head.
“Get out of the way.”
“No,” there was something so shockingly powerful in Kazuya's voice that Jin was a little bit taken aback but it couldn't hold him back. He raised his hand to push Kazuya out of the way when the doorknob suddenly turned and the door creaked open.
“Daddy.”
Kazuya, who stood with his back to the door, immediately turned white and froze in his spot. Jin could feel blood drain from his face as well, paralyzed from shock. For a couple of seconds Jin was just as speechless as Kazuya. They were just standing in the middle of the living room, staring at each other, and behind Kazuya's back there was a small, trembling figure who just called the younger man his father.
Jin's brain stopped functioning at this point. Several minutes passed until he was able to tear his gaze away from Kazuya and turned to the little boy.
There was no doubt about it, the kid was about four years old and Jin could swear he was just seeing Kazuya in a smaller version. Every line on his face, the high cheekbones, the shape of his eyes, the curve of his lips. Even the paleness of his face and the way he trembled was the same.
Jin could feel himself falling, almost literally. He stared at the little figure with wide eyes; the boy looked almost as scared as his father, though Jin really doubted the boy could understand how serious the situation was.
Then Jin took a hesitant step towards the boy, maybe just to take a better look at him, carefully and without any bad intentions, but Kazuya also stepped forward, shielding him completely from Jin's sight. Besides his terrified expression, his features hardened significantly.
Jin's step faltered and he stopped, looked at Kazuya, his face distorted in disgust and anger again. Did Kazuya believe he was going to hurt the boy or what?
It was obvious sanity was not by Kazuya's side either in this moment. Jin gulped and tried to stop the room which he felt constantly spinning. Out of here. He had to get out of here. Away from Kazuya and that whole chaos.
He didn't really know how he managed to find his voice and even more so, how he could sound so firm. “One week, Kazuya. Then I don't want to see you again.”
Kazuya looked at him silently, with pursed lips and that same mixture of fear and strength.
Jin threw him a last glance and tried very hard not to look at the little boy. As he walked outside he hoped with his whole heart that this was the last time he saw Kazuya.
The door slammed loudly, leaving Kazuya and the child in deafening silence. The man was still standing frozen, and stared at the spot where Jin had been just seconds before.
“Daddy. Daddy, I'm not feeling well.”
That was all it took to bring Kazuya back to reality. He immediately spun around and fell onto his knees in front of the boy, cupping his cheeks with shaking hands. He could feel the little fragile body trembling under his touch. “What? It can't be, Kohaku.”
The boy's eyes were brimming with tears. “I'm not feeling well, daddy,” he repeated weakly.
Kazuya picked him up in his arms and held him close to his body, running into the kitchen and flipping the medicine box open. “It can't be, it can't be. This should have helped, Kohaku,” he murmured desperately, putting a pill on the boy's palm and maneuvering across the table to pour a glass of water without having to release him with his other hand.
The child swallowed the pill obediently then leaned against his father, resting his head against Kazuya's chest. The man squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to stop shaking. He rocked back and forth, trying to calm the boy down, his hands were soothing the tiny and bony back, sometimes his hair.
All Kazuya could feel was numbness and darkness and he couldn't find the way out. He could only feel one thing. His child in his arms, the erratic heartbeat under his palms, the heat of the small body that coursed through his own. And the cruel reality that how fragile all that was.
The whole world could turn against him, Kazuya wouldn't mind. The only thing that mattered was his son, trembling in his arms, his son who had gone through so much already and Kazuya wanted to tell him that he didn't have to suffer anymore, that everything was fine. He wanted to tell those words so bad.
Slowly, the breathing of the boy became even, the grip of his tiny fingers loosened and Kazuya breathed out in relief.
“Just a little more, Kohaku. Be strong for a little more. Everything's going to be alright.”
Onyx
Onyx is known to separate. It can help release negative emotions such as sorrow and grief. It is used to end unhappy or bothersome relationships.
Onyx guards against negativity
Onyx jewelry is worn to defend against negativity that is directed at you. Black stones have protective energies in the sense that black is the absence of light, and therefore, can be used to create invisibility.
a/n. Well, there were some guesses which were very close to the truth so I guess this didn't take many of you by surprise. I think everyone can get more or less what's going on here. I eleborate on little Kohaku's illness in the next chapter. If I won't get a nervous breakdown, lol. There is a reason why I never wanted to deal with kids and illness in fics. Back in November it was really hard to write this fic as the story progressed. I repeat, I did a lot of research for this fic, just as much on gemstones as on illnesses. So I tried to keep it real. That doesn't mean I can't be wrong. Correct me if you think I am.
Later, lovelies. ♥
Next: 06. Moss Agate >>
kame/jin // (koki/maru and surprise pairings)
pg-15 for this chapter // fluff, romance, angst // AU
word count (for this chapter). 7,061
It was devoted, it was passionate, it was love. Perfect, wonderful and so very fragile.
a/n. Sorry for updating just now. To compensate, this chapter is effin long:)
o5. Onyx
They say human life is fragile. An accident can take away one's life in an instant, illness can make it miserable or ruin it forever, in the case of violent death you can't even comprehend what is happening and it's all over.
Compared to that, if someone's heart gets broken, it doesn't seem to be a big deal. It doesn't take your life away and you can't die of it.
Tell that to Jin, who had been robbed out of his wealth and his heart in the blink of an eye. Both committed by one and the same person. The person he loved and trusted, who meant literally everything to Jin. And all that had been built around that person now collapsed just like an unstable house of cards and Jin was now just sitting amongst the ruins of his broken heart and had no idea what to do now.
He just wanted someone to tell him what he should do, someone to show him the right direction. He didn't even had an idea how things like that could happen. Because how could that something terrible like that be true?
It must be some kind of very very bad dream which seemed to be true but it just couldn't be.
It couldn't be that Kazuya... It couldn't be.
“Jin, he won't answer,” Koki shouted from somewhere near. Jin didn't really hear him. He ended the call and tried again. For the hundredth time, at least.
“Jin, he won't pick up, don't you get it? Jin, pull yourself together, do you hear me?” Koki yelled, shaking Jin's tense shoulders. He wasn't really aware of his surroundings if the emptiness in his eyes was any indication. He seemed to be in some kind of trance and Koki was cursing now. If all that chaos was not enough, he must worry about Jin as well. Because the situation really gave him a million reasons to be genuinly worried.
After he caught a glimpse of the empty cabinet and safe, Jin just walked slowly to his sofa and lowered himself, pulling out his phone. Then he dialed Kazuya for the first time and almost an hour passed since then.
Jin was just sitting there now, with a face as grey as ashes and stared in front of himself; his hands moved on their own when the voice mail connected and he dialed again. Koki's words didn't reach him, though the younger man could see how he slumped deeper and deeper in the sofa with each call, and how his hope began to fade, slowly but certainly.
Koki was wondering when Jin will comprehend any of what had happened. And that was something Koki was not waiting for with anticipation.
The bell rang and a part of Koki relaxed a bit, the other half of him just turned more anxious, suspecting that Yamapi wouldn't be the happiest person alive either when he saw the empty safe, but perhaps he could do something with Jin who didn't show any sign of having heard the doorbell.
Yamapi stopped dead in his tracks when his gaze fell on the cabinet and wandered to the safe. His hands flew to his mouth in disbelief. “So it's true. Fuck, this can't be happening.”
“It was the same person,” Koki said quietly behind his back. “The same man who robbed me two years ago. His name was Kame and I never knew his real name. And it seems that Jin never knew Kazuya's real name. If any of those names are real.”
“That was a bit too much information at the moment, Koki,” Yamapi looked at him, still in shock. “It's like a fucking drama. How is this possible?”
Koki didn't have an answer to that. He shook his head and turned his gaze to Jin who was sitting in the same spot in the same posture, with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Yamapi followed his gaze and blinked at Jin.
“Is he okay?”
Koki exhaled. “Sure, he's fucking perfect, can't you tell?”
Yamapi was still staring. “Since when is he sitting like this?”
“For about an hour.”
Yamapi closed his eyes and murmured some silent curses then inched closer to Jin as if he wanted to tame a stray dog which could jump onto him any moment.
“Jin.”
He didn't get any reaction, so Yamapi went even closer and gently grabbed Jin's hand which was holding the phone. “Jin!”
“He's calling Kame... or Kazuya... or I don't even know, you get what I mean,” Koki snapped, burying his face into his hands.
Yamapi gave it another try. “Jin, answer me. Look at me at least!”
Jin didn't move, only his fingers tightened around the phone.
“Jin, please, say something!”
Once again, Yamapi didn't get a response and he had enough. He snatched the device away from Jin's hand suddenly and threw it against the wooden floor. That seemed to shake Jin out of his daze because his body gave a violent shudder at the movement and the harsh sound and his eyes came to alive. He lifted his gaze up and looked at Yamapi as if he saw him for the first time in his life before anger clouded his brain.
“Why did you do that?” he yelled, shooting up from the sofa.
He took a step towards the phone but Yamapi was faster. He picked up the device and held it up in the air, out of Jin's reach who grabbed Yamapi by the collar and then started the fight for the phone.
“Jin, stop being stupid,” Yamapi groaned as Jin twisted his arm behind his back, making the other hiss in pain.
Jin was still not really aware of what was happening, he didn't think; he couldn't. He only knew one thing - that he had to talk to Kazuya and see if the other was alright and was not mad because Jin hadn't shown up at their date. He just had to talk to him, to tell him that everything was okay, some things happened at home, unfortunate things that had nothing to do with Kazuya.
The younger man must be at home now, wondering why Jin didn't come. Yes, it must be like that. And now he just had to call him and apologize and ask him to meet up again. Then Jin would finally introduce him to Koki and Yamapi and they would see how wrong they were and just talked bullshit about Kazuya that couldn't be true.
And Jin wanted to do just that, it weren't for that stupid Yamapi who was not letting him have that damned phone and dial.
“Jin, that's enough,” Yamapi threw the phone to Koki who was standing with a pale face, watching the fight between his friends. Then Yamapi gathered his strength and with one move he tackled Jin to the ground and pressed his knees into the other's chest, pinning him down, his hands holding Jin's arms tightly. “Jin, stop it. It was Kazuya, don't you get it? He is Kame. Just deal with it and stop being so fucking difficult.”
Jin suddenly froze and looked at Yamapi with wide eyes as if he had just been slapped. “It can't be, Pi,” he whispered then threw a glance at Koki, his eyes screaming for help. “Koki, you must be wrong.”
Koki shook his head but remained silent. How could he say anything when he had been in the same situation before and nothing the others told him could make him feel any better. He must just stand by Jin's side because the other was going to go through hell when he finally comprehended what happened.
The weirdest thing in this whole shit was that the same person did that to them and Koki didn't know how to feel about that.
Yamapi slowly let go of Jin when he was convinced the other gave up the fight and was willing to listen. He crawled off him and helped him up, pushing him back on the sofa which Jin took as if he was a lifeless puppet.
There was silence for a while. Koki was throwing a fit in his mind, Jin stared at the empty cabinet and Yamapi tried to think.
“Okay, let's clear this up. Koki, what exactly did happen two years ago?”
Koki slowly lowered himself on a chair and didn't look at the other two men, especially at Jin.
“I met him in a club, he came to me and introduced himself as Kame. His hair had a different color back then and I think he is thinner now. I never knew his given name and after a while I gave up on forcing him to tell it to me. He said he was working at a computer designer company but I never knew the company's name either.”
“Jin do you know where Kazuya worked?”
Jin looked at Yamapi with hesitation then shook his head. “No, just that he took orders and designed catalogues.”
“Koki, for how long did you two stay together?”
“Only two months. I didn't even realize how much I let him into my life while I did know almost nothing about him. He had such an amazing personality, he was a great partner. He practically lived at my place but I had never been to his.”
Yamapi nodded. “It looks like that's his method. He makes you fall for him and let him enter your life, earns your trust until you become careless about everything else and you forget to guard yourself and your wealth. This explains why he has never wanted to meet us. Apparently he didn't know about Koki but he was careful not to meet more people than necessary so he was safe.”
“How is this even possible?” Jin said in a whisper. Yamapi could literally feel his heart being squeezed. “How would he be able to do something like this? I know that he also... that he wasn't pretending... he was...”
“Jin, Kazuya is a swindler. A criminal.”
Jin looked at Yamapi like he wanted to take his life away in any minute. Or his own. “Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I notice anything?”
“Just like I didn't do it either,” Koki said slowly, letting his gaze meet Jin's for the first time. “You were blinded but how you felt. Do you remember how many times you told me that it wasn't my fault back then? And I couldn't get the idea out of my mind that I could have done something about it if I hadn't been so blind.”
Jin shook his head in disbelief, his eyes shining dimly in the almost dark room.
Yamapi took a deep breath. “We should call the police.”
“No,” Jin said firmly, making the others look at him in surprise.
“Jin, we must do somehing.”
“Let me find him first.”
“Jin, what are you...”
Jin jumped up and with a few long steps he crossed the room to stand in front of Yamapi, looking into his eyes. “I want to hear his answers. I want to know what can possibly make someone play such a cruel game with anyone. I want him to look into my eyes and tell me why he did it.”
“Jin, I don't think it's a good idea,” Yamapi said.
“I don't give a fuck about what you think,” Jin spat, feeling how the numbness began to dissolve in his body and mind, gradually allowing something else to take over the empty space, a feeling ten times stronger. Anger. Rage. Every fiber of his body started to feel it.
Koki just pursed his lips and stayed silent. He knew Jin would go through the same process he once did. When his anger began to fade, there came the hate and when it quietens down, nothing would be left than hurt and pain. When he would finally realize that there was no other way than accept that it happened. And then there came the sense of guilt and feeling betrayed and that all of that was so fucking unfair. That bad things happen to innocent people and when you expect it the least you could be back-stabbed by the one you love the most.
Then all that's left would be bitterness. And the awakening waves of fury from time to time when you want to move on and forget but can't. When you want to get closer to someone but you are scared to trust. When you want to open your heart but you already know how fragile it is.
And Jin now started to get angry. Koki already knew Jin's anger. The man was all kindness and big heart but once he was hurt or those whom he cared about, then came the conscequences which were similar to Pandora's box being opened.
He still remembered how furious Jin was when Kazuya disappeared two years ago, leaving a broken Koki behind and all those ruins that could never really be swept away. Jin offered his help back then to find the man who had left Koki in such a miserable state and beat the living daylight out of him about which Koki had no doubt. It took Koki a lot of effort to convince Jin to let it go and let the police deal with it, that didn't find anything of course.
It was not Kazuya he was worried about, he was mad at him and revenge sounded pretty good to Koki's ears; all he cared about was Jin. He didn't want him to end up in jail.
And now it was all happening again and Jin was wearing the same expression on his face, except that now pain was just as much present as anger. And the person who was getting all Jin's anger was the same as well. How ironic.
And now Koki was worried about Jin the same, the difference was that now he had no right to tell Jin not to do it.
Apparently similar thoughts were circling in Yamapi's mind, too because he didn't argue any further. Maybe he thought he could talk to Jin when he was calmer but Koki knew better. He knew Jin was nowhere near to calm down. Not until he found Kazuya and beat the truth out of him.
“I'm going to find him,” Jin said with determination in his voice just to confirm Koki's suspicion.
The younger man stared at Jin, the body shaking with anger, fire in his eyes, a look drunken with the promise of revenge.
And Koki so didn't want to be in Kazuya's place now.
-
Jin felt as if the ground had been pulled from under his feet. He didn't have any hope to go on like nothing had happened. He felt like having been kept in the dark for three months and when the lights were switched on, he looked around and realized nothing was as it seemed. All that remained was nothing. Nothing at all.
After Koki and Yamapi reluctantly left Jin alone - he insisted - the man was just sitting in his usual place on the sofa and did nothing except for planning what he would do when he found Kazuya.
He still couldn't really believe it was not a nightmare and he needed to take a glance of the empty cabinet and safe from time to time to make sure. He gave up after a while though because every time his eyes wandered towards the proof of the harsh reality, he could feel his heart breaking over and over again, though it was more than enough for the first time.
He thought back to every minute he spent with Kazuya and now the beautiful memories were tainted by the cruelty of the present. In every piece of memory there was a tiny momentum, an almost non-existent detail that led to what was now in front of his eyes, with every moment he recalled, another piece of the puzzle fell back to its place. And all the signs were just telling that Kazuya was nothing else than a swindler.
The man Jin had fallen in love with, that beautiful creature with that angelic smile and pretty face, the man who gave Jin so much gentleness and love was nothing but a criminal.
Then Jin realized that probably Kazuya was not the only one at fault. Jin made a serious mistake as well, he couldn't see through what's been blinding him. If he had, he would have noticed that all they had was just too good to be true.
Kazuya disappeared from his life just like he came but the damage he had left behind was way too big to even think about. And not because of the gemstones.
Jin thought he could understand Koki now. He could feel what Koki was going through and he was sure Koki was the stronger one out of the two of them. Jin was convinced he would never be able to forgive and forget or to look at anyone else, not now, not in two years. Koki at least tried.
What an interesting twist of the fate was that it was the same person they both had fallen in love with. Jin wondered what their love was like and if Koki still loved Kazuya. Every time he thought about it, he could feel his blood boil. Instinctively, he hated everyone who had ever touched Kazuya but Koki was not someone to blame. Or not more than he himself.
But it all didn't really matter now, the jealousy didn't matter since Kazuya was not the person he thought he was. He never returned his feelings so to be jealous because of him made no sense. He had no right.
It was unbelievable how little time one needed to have their life turned upside down and lose everything they thought to be valuable. Happiness came into his life with Kazuya like a miracle he had never known he wanted. It was fate. Or at least Jin thought it was.
But it turned out that it wasn't fate that dealt the cards. It was Kazuya.
Jin was amazed how much revelation he made since he was sitting there in silence. Now he just realized what Kazuya meant to him and how he was planning his future; Kazuya was always part of it. He was so sure that the love between them was strong and real that his whole life has been restructured on a new basis. Happiness changed everything. Happiness that Kazuya gave and took away at the end. And it ruined everything Jin was so carefully building.
And now there was nothing left but this emptiness. Cold and gloomy. Grey, lifeless. Jin felt lifeless. The only thing that assured him he was alive was the anger. And the feeling of missing. Both of those feelings were directed towards Kazuya.
Jin knew he must find the younger man. He had connections, he knew he could do it. The big question mark was hanging above his head, asking what he was going to do when he found him.
Love cannot fade away overnight but it can be surpressed by anger and hate. And Jin could only think of one thing.
Of how to take revenge.
-
Papers were lying everywhere all around the table, covering the most of it. Kazuya's fingers were moving frantically as he read each, one after another, signing them in the end. Empty envelops were flying and landed on the ground as he pulled out the money from them and placed a certain amount next to each document.
When he was done with the last one, Kazuya jumped up and swiped up the papers, counting the money again and nodding to himself as he got the right amount.
The phone in the living room started to ring and Kazuya shook in suprise, his eyes scared. A sweat drop fell silently from his temple to his shoulder and he placed his palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat against it at a frantic pace.
He crossed the living room, stumbling to the phone. He needed to stop though to support himself, reaching out for the wall when the room started spinning. He didn't remember when was the last time he ate something.
Kazuya tried to take deep breaths to pull himself together, with little success and by the time he picked up the phone, he was so out of breath that he could barely speak.
“Yes,” he said, not really being able to decide if his hands or his voice was shaking more.
He was listening to the speaker, his body tensing, fear crawling up in his veins again - a way too familiar feeling. “Yes and I've got everything you asked. I signed the documents, I'm going there now and give them to you.”
Kazuya clutched the phone tighter, the expression on his face more and more desperate. “Please... please, just wait for me, okay? I need a few minutes, please... Alright. Thank you.”
He slammed the device on the table and rushed back to the table, picking the envelops and papers up. On his way outside, the room started spinning again but he didn't let it bother him. It didn't matter right now. He was safe for a little while now. Maybe.
-
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?” Yamapi said the next day, looking firmly into Jin's sleep-deprived, haunted eyes. The man looked back at him blankly, his face emotionless.
“Okay then, let's start with the good news. The company is not going to go bankrupt. The loss is quite severe but we'll survive.”
Jin didn't show any reaction, he didn't really have anything to say about the issue. He didn't care to say the least.
“Bad news however,” Yamapi continued and looked at Koki who was watching him with a frown. “the Golden Bay backed away from the deal of course, they want their money back. Which is not some pocket money, obviously.”
Jin didn't even bat an eyelash at which Yamapi finally snapped and threw away the mask of calmness he had been sporting on his face ever since that morning. “Jin, are you listening? We are in deep shit, man. The Golden Bay wants their gemstones back which we obviously can't give. So what they want and have the right to ask is money.”
“And they will get it,” Jin said dryly.
Yamapi's jaw hit the floor. “What? How the fuck will they get it?”
“I will get it back. I just need to find Kazuya,” Jin said. It sounded exactly as if he had told himself the same thing a thousand times before. His dark expression scared the other two men.
“Jin,” Yamapi started cautiously. “I know if you decide something, you won't give up until you reach your goal, but I would be very happy if you cared about the company as well and not only Kazuya.”
“I'm doing exactly that. Those things are the same. If I find Kazuya, I will find the money. I won't let the authorities have him until I get the whole amount back. Then I will ruin him.”
There was silence when Jin stopped talking and Yamapi wondered if there is any sanity left in his friend's mind. He shared a worried glance with Koki over Jin's head. Both of them had a very bad feeling.
-
It took only two days and Jin was already sitting in a dark pub, staring at Kazuya's picture with glassy eyes.
“Kamenashi Kazuya, born in Tokyo, on 23th February, 1986. His parents moved to the countryside when their son graduated from high school. He has three brothers, two of them abroad, the youngest one lives with the parents.”
“Thank you, Ryo. You helped a lot.”
Jin looked up from the photo and fixed his gaze on the man in front of him. Ryo nodded, but his eyes narrowed.
“This is not all. After high school, Kamenashi disappeared. There is no information about him, as if he had vanished into thin air. If you want to know more about him, it will take more time.”
Jin nodded silently.
“And here,” Ryo said and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, handing it to Jin.
Jin took it and read the address. He could feel his heart rise into his throat and he licked his lips nervously. It was a mixed feeling of fear, excitement and triumph, accompanied by the already familiar anger that surged through his body.
“It's his current address. Since you said it was urgent, I couldn't get any more information, like since when he lives there or whether he lives alone or not.”
“No problem, Ryo, it doesn't matter.”
“Do you want me to check it for you?”
“No, I will take care of that.”
“Are you sure, Jin?” Ryo eyed the other with a weird gaze, hesitantly scratching the back of his head. “It's an interesting neighborhood, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Poor, dirty, dangerous. If you really want to go there and what is more important, you want to go there alone, I would advise you not to put your Armani suit on because I'm pretty sure you will leave without it.”
“I don't wear Armani, Ryo.”
“Jin, you know what I mean.”
Jin sighed and dug the paper into his pocket. It was a weird, nostalgic feeling to have a piece of paper in his pocket once again that held Kazuya's contact information.
“I know, don't worry. If you want to worry, worry about Kamenashi. Because he won't escape this time.”
Ryo's eyes widened for a brief moment then raised an eyebrow. “As you wish. Don't do anything stupid.”
Jin picked up his coat and shook hands with the other. “Too late, Ryo. It's way too late for that.”
With that said, Jin strolled out of the bar. He didn't look back, all he could see was Kazuya and his hands clenched involuntary, the small piece of paper folding into a ball in his pocket.
Got you, Kazuya.
-
The feeling of triumph passed just as fast as it came. The determination remained, the desire to find Kazuya. Jin didn't know why but wanted to see if Kazuya was able to look him in the eye.
He knew there were only a few steps seperating him from getting what he wanted, in his hands he held the most important thing he needed, and in his heart there was the feeling of betrayal, more powerful than any other emotion.
He didn't tell anyone about the meeting with Nishikido Ryo. He didn't tell Yamapi and kept it in secret from Koki, too. It was better this way. Jin assumed that if his friends looked into his eyes now and saw the flaming anger in them, they would be trying to stop him. And Jin didn't want to be stopped now. The hate was burning in him more than love ever could. Or maybe the way only love could. Hate was just as strong as love. He wanted one to end and he completely submitted to the other.
As he walked along the dark streets, Jin gave the neighborhood a scrutinizing glance. Ryo was right, he didn't feel safe. People were suspicious-looking and dirty, the streets were dark and covered with garbage. He wondered for a brief moment why Kazuya lived in this part of the city but that question didn't really enjoy privilige now.
He found the building quite easily, big grey, ruined apartment house, almost completely without plaster on the walls, the whole building dark, unlighted. He was walking up the stairs slowly and enjoyed as the new waves of fury swept through him, with each step taking over a bigger part of his sanity. By the time he arrived at the third floor, he could feel himself shaking from restrained anger.
There was barely any hesitation in his moves when he stopped in front of the door and knocked it with his fist.
There was no sound heard from inside, no voice asking who it was, as Jin would have imagined it fit a place like this. Just a slow twist of the doorknob and the door opened an inch.
Kazuya's reaction was not unexpected. The beautiful almond-shaped eyes rounded and windened and every muscle of the pale face tensed in shock. The door would have been slammed shut in that instant if Jin weren't prepaired for that, too. But he forced his face to remain calm and stepped forward, stopping the door just before it could close. It slammed backwards and Kazuya took a step inside, startled.
“Hi, Kazuya. Or would you like me to call you Kame? Which one do you prefer?”
The younger man flinched at the cold and angry tone. He stepped back again, apparently terrified.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered weakly and Jin vaguely took note of the fact how different his voice was from what he was used to hear. It was nauseating. But everything about Kazuya was totally different from what Jin had believed so he didn't let it bother him too much.
“Kazuya, won't you even call me in? Where did leave your manners?” Jin mocked the other cruelly, lips curling into a bitter smile.
Kazuya stepped back again and nervously looked around. Jin supposed he was looking for a way out but Jin had no intention whatsoever to let him go. Now that he was standing right in front of him; trapped, trembling from fear, exposed to Jin's anger.
Jin kicked the door in brutally and pushed in the living room, forcing Kazuya further inside. “What is it? Are you planning on going on a holiday, Kazuya?” Jin looked at the half-packed boxes that occupied half of the tiny apartment. It was obvious that Kazuya wanted to escape, he just didn't expect to be found so soon.
“Jin,” Kazuya whispered again, shaking hands rising in the air in front of him in what was supposed to be a calming gesture.
“Just shut up,” Jin said dryly and started walking towards the smaller man.
The fear in Kazuya's eyes started to grow until it was akin to panic. “Jin, please-”
At that in Jin's mind the last strap snapped that would hold him back from killing Kazuya right then and there and he grabbed the younger man's collar in a blink of an eye and slammed him into the wall.
“You bastard. You evil, heartless son of a bitch,” Jin hissed through his gritted teeth, straight into Kazuya's face. “Just give me a reason, one reason why I shouldn't kill you in this very moment.”
Kazuya didn't defend himself. There was something very weird in this whole situation and as Jin would expect some reaction, this theory proved to be completely wrong. Kazuya was almost totally passive underneath his hands, unmoving. If Jin wanted to be honest, Kazuya was in a pathetic state.
Somewhere in his blurry thoughts, Jin could sense that Kazuya was indeed on the verge of a panic attack as Jin took note of the sweat drops that were covering his face like pearls, his face which was pale and sickly white, his chest that was heaving in an abnormally fast rhythm. Kazuya's fear-stricken, wide eyes stared deep into his own and he could feel the pain again that he thought he had been able to leave outside Kazuya's door.
“What the hell was that, Kazuya? How could you?” Jin was aware he was losing control over his voice just like over his whole body as he started to shake the other by his collar who just let him do as he wished.
“Jin, please listen to me.”
“You are a little bit late for that, don't you think?”
“Jin, I didn't-”
“Stop it,” Jin yelled suddenly and shook Kazuya again. He was really starting to lose the last bit of patience he still had, allowing hurt and anger to take over. “Why, Kazuya. I want to know why.”
Jin was almost certain it was not going to be that easy to get an answer to that question. If Kazuya was really capable of doing what he did then there was no doubt he did it willingly. That was what his sanity told Jin. But the sight as Kazuya was standing in front of him, melting into the wall, the visible signs of terror on his face, Jin understood that there must be something else behind all that mess and this thought didn't help calm down at all.
“Look at yourself. You're shaking as a leaf.Why did you do it if you're that weak? If you can't stand the guilt? Was it worth the trouble?” Jin spat as Kazuya's eyes closed tightly and he squeezed them to avoid looking at Jin. It just confirmed Jin's suspicion.
“Jin, don't do this.”
“One week. You have one week to give the stones back and I'll let you go.”
Confusion was almost audible as Kazuya's lips parted in shock. “What?” he whispered in disbelief.
“I said you have one week. If I call the police now and they put you behind bars, I will never see the stones again. And that will not be enough for me,” Jin watched as recognition slowly started to light up Kazuya's eyes, as he finally began to understand what Jin was getting at. “If you give them back to me, I'll let you run and we'll have nothing to do with each other anymore.”
“Jin, I don't-”
Losing his composure again, Jin pushed Kazuya back harshly again. Just then did he realize how much he was trembling, too. “This is your only chance to give something back from what you've taken, don't you get it?”
As the words left his lips, Jin realized how true that statement was. “I don't care how. You have one week, Kazuya.”
Kazuya slowly shook his head, his lips slightly trembled and Jin already knew what was coming. “I don't have the stones with me anymore, Jin.”
Jin just clenched his fists until they hurt. “Then get them back! You don't have any other choice. And don't think you can get away, I will keep my eyes on you until then.”
Jin didn't even notice he was shouting until his throat became soar, his face twisted in anger and Kazuya trembled again under his hands, his eyes involuntary moved to the door that was leading to the bedroom. “Jin, lower your voice, please.”
“What? You don't have any right to order me to lower my voice, Kazuya,” Jin hissed dangerously, then registering the Kazuya's look, he turned his gaze towards the bedroom door as well. “Are you afraid that I wake up someone I shouldn't? So Yamapi was right after all, wasn't he?”
“What? I don't know what you're talking about.” Kazuya panted, eyes impossibly wide.
“You live here with someone else, don't you? Did they help you to swindle? Lover? Wife? Which one, Kazuya?” Jin didn't care about keeping his anger at bay anymore. Whoever it was that Kazuya didn't want to disturb, Jin was ready to face the whole wide world and fight. “Is that person your partner in crime? Or has no idea what you are doing for a living, huh?”
Then Jin fell silent and suddenly released his grip on Kazuya. The younger man stayed in the same spot, apparently immobilized and trying to figure out what Jin was about to do.
“Why don't we all sit and talk about it? Let's call that person here, why don't we?” Jin said coldly and enjoyed the sight as Kazuya slumped a bit downwards on wobbly knees. Jin forced himself to turn around and headed for the bedroom door.
Kazuya reacted just a moment later. “Jin, don't.”
He almost reached the door when Kazuya rushed to him and stepped between him and the door with surprising speed. “Don't do this, Jin.”
He was begging. Kazuya was begging him; with his voice, with his body, with his eyes and Jin felt himself to fall in control. He looked at Kazuya in triumph, none of them spoke for a moment, only Kazuya's irregular breathing broke the silence. Jin was amazed that he hadn't collapsed yet. It was a pathetic sight, Jin repeated himself in his head.
“Get out of the way.”
“No,” there was something so shockingly powerful in Kazuya's voice that Jin was a little bit taken aback but it couldn't hold him back. He raised his hand to push Kazuya out of the way when the doorknob suddenly turned and the door creaked open.
“Daddy.”
Kazuya, who stood with his back to the door, immediately turned white and froze in his spot. Jin could feel blood drain from his face as well, paralyzed from shock. For a couple of seconds Jin was just as speechless as Kazuya. They were just standing in the middle of the living room, staring at each other, and behind Kazuya's back there was a small, trembling figure who just called the younger man his father.
Jin's brain stopped functioning at this point. Several minutes passed until he was able to tear his gaze away from Kazuya and turned to the little boy.
There was no doubt about it, the kid was about four years old and Jin could swear he was just seeing Kazuya in a smaller version. Every line on his face, the high cheekbones, the shape of his eyes, the curve of his lips. Even the paleness of his face and the way he trembled was the same.
Jin could feel himself falling, almost literally. He stared at the little figure with wide eyes; the boy looked almost as scared as his father, though Jin really doubted the boy could understand how serious the situation was.
Then Jin took a hesitant step towards the boy, maybe just to take a better look at him, carefully and without any bad intentions, but Kazuya also stepped forward, shielding him completely from Jin's sight. Besides his terrified expression, his features hardened significantly.
Jin's step faltered and he stopped, looked at Kazuya, his face distorted in disgust and anger again. Did Kazuya believe he was going to hurt the boy or what?
It was obvious sanity was not by Kazuya's side either in this moment. Jin gulped and tried to stop the room which he felt constantly spinning. Out of here. He had to get out of here. Away from Kazuya and that whole chaos.
He didn't really know how he managed to find his voice and even more so, how he could sound so firm. “One week, Kazuya. Then I don't want to see you again.”
Kazuya looked at him silently, with pursed lips and that same mixture of fear and strength.
Jin threw him a last glance and tried very hard not to look at the little boy. As he walked outside he hoped with his whole heart that this was the last time he saw Kazuya.
The door slammed loudly, leaving Kazuya and the child in deafening silence. The man was still standing frozen, and stared at the spot where Jin had been just seconds before.
“Daddy. Daddy, I'm not feeling well.”
That was all it took to bring Kazuya back to reality. He immediately spun around and fell onto his knees in front of the boy, cupping his cheeks with shaking hands. He could feel the little fragile body trembling under his touch. “What? It can't be, Kohaku.”
The boy's eyes were brimming with tears. “I'm not feeling well, daddy,” he repeated weakly.
Kazuya picked him up in his arms and held him close to his body, running into the kitchen and flipping the medicine box open. “It can't be, it can't be. This should have helped, Kohaku,” he murmured desperately, putting a pill on the boy's palm and maneuvering across the table to pour a glass of water without having to release him with his other hand.
The child swallowed the pill obediently then leaned against his father, resting his head against Kazuya's chest. The man squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to stop shaking. He rocked back and forth, trying to calm the boy down, his hands were soothing the tiny and bony back, sometimes his hair.
All Kazuya could feel was numbness and darkness and he couldn't find the way out. He could only feel one thing. His child in his arms, the erratic heartbeat under his palms, the heat of the small body that coursed through his own. And the cruel reality that how fragile all that was.
The whole world could turn against him, Kazuya wouldn't mind. The only thing that mattered was his son, trembling in his arms, his son who had gone through so much already and Kazuya wanted to tell him that he didn't have to suffer anymore, that everything was fine. He wanted to tell those words so bad.
Slowly, the breathing of the boy became even, the grip of his tiny fingers loosened and Kazuya breathed out in relief.
“Just a little more, Kohaku. Be strong for a little more. Everything's going to be alright.”
Onyx
Onyx is known to separate. It can help release negative emotions such as sorrow and grief. It is used to end unhappy or bothersome relationships.
Onyx guards against negativity
Onyx jewelry is worn to defend against negativity that is directed at you. Black stones have protective energies in the sense that black is the absence of light, and therefore, can be used to create invisibility.
a/n. Well, there were some guesses which were very close to the truth so I guess this didn't take many of you by surprise. I think everyone can get more or less what's going on here. I eleborate on little Kohaku's illness in the next chapter. If I won't get a nervous breakdown, lol. There is a reason why I never wanted to deal with kids and illness in fics. Back in November it was really hard to write this fic as the story progressed. I repeat, I did a lot of research for this fic, just as much on gemstones as on illnesses. So I tried to keep it real. That doesn't mean I can't be wrong. Correct me if you think I am.
Later, lovelies. ♥
Next: 06. Moss Agate >>