Romance 101, Chapter 2, pt 4
See first chapter for statistics.
Ash: Or maybe not!
Brock: I can’t believe it! All of these girls have their arms rapped around another guy. It is just not fair!
Porygon-Z: How do you rap around another guy?
Kyurem: Nah, their arms are just rapping.
Sakura: It’ll be okay Brock. I’ll tell you what, if I get tired of dancing with Drew, I could always dance with you.
Kyurem: Well, at least someone has a shred of kindness here.
Brock: Feh! I don’t need your charity! (He walks away)
Kyurem: …Not that Brock wants it.
Drew: You didn’t really mean that, did you?
Sakura: Nope! I was lying!
Kyurem: …When can I swoop in and eat these people?
Dusknoir: Calm yourself.
(Anabel walks up) Hi Anabel! So where is this date we’ve been hearing so much about?
Anabel: He should be here soon! He’s probably just running late or he likes to show up fashionably late! But he’ll be here, don’t worry! (Thirty minutes later)
Entei: Thirty minutes later, she’s still an idiot without basic pattern recognition.
Raikou: Or has sky-high blind faith in PDSI.
Misty: She hasn’t moved once from the punch bowl since she got here. When is Robert going to get here?
Marisa: He’s probably in a back seat making out with your sister! (Daisy and Robert walk in) Oh crap, they’re here!
Porygon-Z: Well, this is awkward.
Kyurem: *restless* I can go and make things less awkward, hint hint.
Misty: Oh my God, you were right!
Anabel: Sakura, he’s here! He’s finally here!
Sakura: You mean the guy all over Misty’s older sister! (Anabel gasps)
Anabel: What’s this? (Marisa runs over to her)
Dr. Sceptile: *revives* Hmm… oh! A song!
What’s this? What’s this? There’s- *hit on the head with a storage cube*
Marisa: Anabel, are you going to be okay? (Anabel glares at her) Whoa! (Anabel cries and runs outside) I was afraid of this! (Misty walks up) I’ll go out there and have a talk with her.
Misty: Good luck! (Outside the gym)
Dusknoir: *quietly, as Marisa*
The men over there don’t like a lot of blabber
Kyurem: *as same*
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet in school it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle chatter for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
Dusknoir: *continuing*
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On that lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man~
Anabel: (Sobs) I can’t believe what a fool I am. I actually believed that I got a date with a cute guy. I can’t believe it ended like this.
Marisa: I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
Anabel: Oh Marisa…
Marisa: It happens sweetie. Sometimes, mean people like to take advantage of other people’s emotions.
Anabel: I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you tried to warn me yesterday. I know you wouldn’t do anything mean or spiteful like what those two girls did.
Raikou: *as Marisa* I told you, on the whole I’ve been a saint!
Marisa: You just have to keep in mind that this is not the end of the world. It’s like that recycled old saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.” Something horrible might have happened tonight, but who knows. Maybe something good will come your way, perhaps soon. Remember, we’re only freshmen and it’s not the end of the world if we don’t get a date on the first try. And if you don’t get a date, so what! We have four more years do keep in mind. I guess I’m not the most qualified person to give advice…
Entei: Good grief. Someone send a letter to Princess Celestia.
Everyone else: Who?
Entei: Uncultured swine…
Anabel: No, you’re just fine. Your right, I shouldn’t let this bad incident get to me.
Marisa: Great! You ready to go back to the dance?
Dr. Sceptile: *revives* *as Marisa* Well now we need your price for my pep talk. I’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle; what I want from you is- your voice.
Humblot: *as Anabel* But without my voice, how can I-
Dr. Sceptile: *as Marisa* You’ll have your looks, your pretty face, and don’t underestimate the importance of- *Dr. Sceptile thrusts hips to the side* body language! HA!
GLaDOS: This is becoming annoying. *drops storage cube*
Dr. Sceptile: *freezes storage cube in time as a shield*
Anabel: In a while. First I’m going to sit out here and wipe the egg off my face. (Back inside)
Misty: Is she going to be alright?
Marisa: I don’t know. She could go either way!
Humblot: *as Marisa* She could be alright and wallow in depression-
Dusknoir: *as same* Or she could go join al-Queda.
Sakura: I feel so bad for her. (A slow song comes on) Well let’s go! All three of us girls have dates, so let’s make the most of this dance!
Kyurem: So this Sakura girl is simultaneously making fun of her friend behind her back while stating information that we already know.
Dr. Sceptile: What can I say? Minions take after their masters.
Misty: (Thinking) I can’t believe this. He’s just so light on his feet. (Sighing)
Ash: What’s with the heavy sigh?
GLaDOS: *throws storage cubes at the screen*
Misty: Oh! It’s nothing! I just like this song, that’s all! (An hour later)
Dr. Sceptile: *eagerly* What is it?
Porygon-Z: An orchestral slow dance.
Marisa: She’s still out there? Man, I thought I had her in my speech!
Brock: Sure she didn’t fall asleep!
Entei: *as Marisa* Of course not! All I did was take her voice!
Marisa: Shut up! What I am sure of now is that it’ll take some time for her heart to heal after it has been hurt tonight. Another thing I’m pretty sure of is that perverted date of mine has been trying to grope my butt!
Dr. Sceptile: *hands Entei 9000 Poké*
Entei: I win! Hrah ha ha ha!
Brock: Aren’t we being a wee bit paranoid?
Dusknoir: *as Marisa* It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.
Deejay: Alright folks, give it up for your Homecoming Queen, Lucy!
Kyurem: Who’s Deejay?
Humblot: Friend of mine. A true citizen of France. Turned the lord of Paris over to the Revolution.
Kyurem: What’s he doing here then?
Humblot: Probably extending the power of the Revolution.
Brock: Lucy?
Kyurem: Medusa?
GLaDOS: Yes.
Deejay: Isn’t she beautiful folks?
Entei: Ain’t she a beaut? Look at her, folks- 14 ft long!
Brock: She sure is! ALL HAIL QUEEN LUCY! I’M NOT WORTHY! (Misty grabs his ear)
Humblot: Ready the Weights of Liberty!
All Else: What?
Misty: Stop bothering the queen!
Humblot: Down with the queen! Down with the queen! Use the Weights of Liberty on the Queen!
Dusknoir: Oh, great.
Brock: Not the ear, not the ear! QUEEN LUCY! QUEEN LUCY! LONG LIVE QUEEN LUCY!
Humblot: BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY! BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY!
Dr. Sceptile: Calm down!
Humblot: BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY!
GLaDOS: *has turrets fire on Humblot’s seat*
Lucy: Who is that masked man? (One more hour later)
Raikou: Superman.
Entei: The Wizard of Oz.
Dusknoir: Wolverine.
Humblot: A Revolutionary!
Porygon-Z: Zorro.
Kyurem: Mr. Incredible.
Dr. Sceptile: Jesus.
Sakura: Good grief, she hasn’t moved from that spot once. We better check and make sure she’s still breathing. (Slap sound)
Dusknoir: And suddenly, abruptly, the air slapped Sakura.
Marisa: Pervert!
Sakura: I guess her date with Gary didn’t go so well. (Misty and Ash walk up) Did you two have a great time?
Dr. Sceptile: *as Ash* Of course! We are the One True Pairing!
Humblot: *as Misty* Anyway, we were just in the standing things-
Entei: *Fire Blast*
GLaDOS: *dumps water on Humblot*
Humblot: *steam rising off his skin* m- *collapses*
Ash: It was a blast! I’m going to go outside and check if my mom is waiting for us. (He goes outside)
Misty: Oh crap, I forgot my coat! (Outside)
Dr. Sceptile: And so the OTP gets destroyed through a combination of incompetence and forgetting a coat. Let’s have a moment of silence, please.
GLaDOS: *plays a freight train*
Raikou, Entei, Kyurem: *roar*
Porygon-Z: *sings Never Gonna Give You Up*
Dusknoir: *hums Canon in D Major*
Humblot: *revives* *sings a Revolutionary song*
Dr. Sceptile: *joins Dusknoir in humming*
Ash: Anabel, what are you doing out here all alone!
Anabel: Let’s just say I had a rough night. Oh, I don’t think you want to hear about my problems.
Ash: It’s no problem! Tell me!
Dr. Sceptile: *clears throat* And thank you all for the moment of silence.
Anabel: Well, let’s just say I got tricked by two girls who told me they could hook me up with an upperclassman.
Entei: *as Anabel* Because I’m an idiot-
Raikou: *as same* -who has no backbone.
Well they lied and I spent the whole night crying my eyes out.
Ash: I’m sorry to hear that.
Humblot: So, who will win the bet?
As the two continued to talk, Misty came out of the gym. In the distance, she saw Ash and Anabel sitting next to each other. All of a sudden, Ash and Anabel stared at each other for a few seconds and without warning, the two of them went in for a slow kiss on the lips. When Misty saw it, her heart immediately dropped and she ran off crying.
All: Whaaaaaaaaat?
Dusknoir: Why are they suddenly kissing! It makes no sense! All they were doing is-
Dr. Sceptile: Can you feel the love tonight~
Kyurem: Just let me go in and eat them.
Entei: Where’s the buildup? The actual interaction? Why are they suddenly kissing?
Raikou: And this, gentlemen, computers, and legends, is why you don’t have romance develop in a summary.
Humblot: Well, I guess I win. *gets paid* I’ll use this to fund my very own Weight of Liberty!
Porygon-Z: “Without warning” is right. It shows that both of them appear to have no impulse control. They both randomly decide to go in for a slow kiss or something, despite interacting maybe once, without the rest of their conversation being described, before suddenly falling in lust with each other!
GLaDOS: That’s all very nice and all, but did you all learn something?
Entei: Marisa is a sea witch.
Kyurem: Ash and Anabel can’t control themselves.
Raikou: Anabel is as smart as a sack of hammers.
Dr. Sceptile: Being stuck mid-air is fun.
Porygon-Z: Daisy and co. are the opposite of progressive feminist women.
Humblot: The Brit wasn’t kidding when he said he’ll turn this into a musical.
Dusknoir: Annie and Oakley are employees for Pallet Dating Services Inc., run by Brock of course.
GLaDOS: *retrieves turrets* You may all leave. Before I get the neurotoxin.
All: *leave*
Ash: Or maybe not!
Brock: I can’t believe it! All of these girls have their arms rapped around another guy. It is just not fair!
Porygon-Z: How do you rap around another guy?
Kyurem: Nah, their arms are just rapping.
Sakura: It’ll be okay Brock. I’ll tell you what, if I get tired of dancing with Drew, I could always dance with you.
Kyurem: Well, at least someone has a shred of kindness here.
Brock: Feh! I don’t need your charity! (He walks away)
Kyurem: …Not that Brock wants it.
Drew: You didn’t really mean that, did you?
Sakura: Nope! I was lying!
Kyurem: …When can I swoop in and eat these people?
Dusknoir: Calm yourself.
(Anabel walks up) Hi Anabel! So where is this date we’ve been hearing so much about?
Anabel: He should be here soon! He’s probably just running late or he likes to show up fashionably late! But he’ll be here, don’t worry! (Thirty minutes later)
Entei: Thirty minutes later, she’s still an idiot without basic pattern recognition.
Raikou: Or has sky-high blind faith in PDSI.
Misty: She hasn’t moved once from the punch bowl since she got here. When is Robert going to get here?
Marisa: He’s probably in a back seat making out with your sister! (Daisy and Robert walk in) Oh crap, they’re here!
Porygon-Z: Well, this is awkward.
Kyurem: *restless* I can go and make things less awkward, hint hint.
Misty: Oh my God, you were right!
Anabel: Sakura, he’s here! He’s finally here!
Sakura: You mean the guy all over Misty’s older sister! (Anabel gasps)
Anabel: What’s this? (Marisa runs over to her)
Dr. Sceptile: *revives* Hmm… oh! A song!
What’s this? What’s this? There’s- *hit on the head with a storage cube*
Marisa: Anabel, are you going to be okay? (Anabel glares at her) Whoa! (Anabel cries and runs outside) I was afraid of this! (Misty walks up) I’ll go out there and have a talk with her.
Misty: Good luck! (Outside the gym)
Dusknoir: *quietly, as Marisa*
The men over there don’t like a lot of blabber
Kyurem: *as same*
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet in school it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle chatter for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
Dusknoir: *continuing*
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On that lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man~
Anabel: (Sobs) I can’t believe what a fool I am. I actually believed that I got a date with a cute guy. I can’t believe it ended like this.
Marisa: I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
Anabel: Oh Marisa…
Marisa: It happens sweetie. Sometimes, mean people like to take advantage of other people’s emotions.
Anabel: I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you tried to warn me yesterday. I know you wouldn’t do anything mean or spiteful like what those two girls did.
Raikou: *as Marisa* I told you, on the whole I’ve been a saint!
Marisa: You just have to keep in mind that this is not the end of the world. It’s like that recycled old saying, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining.” Something horrible might have happened tonight, but who knows. Maybe something good will come your way, perhaps soon. Remember, we’re only freshmen and it’s not the end of the world if we don’t get a date on the first try. And if you don’t get a date, so what! We have four more years do keep in mind. I guess I’m not the most qualified person to give advice…
Entei: Good grief. Someone send a letter to Princess Celestia.
Everyone else: Who?
Entei: Uncultured swine…
Anabel: No, you’re just fine. Your right, I shouldn’t let this bad incident get to me.
Marisa: Great! You ready to go back to the dance?
Dr. Sceptile: *revives* *as Marisa* Well now we need your price for my pep talk. I’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle; what I want from you is- your voice.
Humblot: *as Anabel* But without my voice, how can I-
Dr. Sceptile: *as Marisa* You’ll have your looks, your pretty face, and don’t underestimate the importance of- *Dr. Sceptile thrusts hips to the side* body language! HA!
GLaDOS: This is becoming annoying. *drops storage cube*
Dr. Sceptile: *freezes storage cube in time as a shield*
Anabel: In a while. First I’m going to sit out here and wipe the egg off my face. (Back inside)
Misty: Is she going to be alright?
Marisa: I don’t know. She could go either way!
Humblot: *as Marisa* She could be alright and wallow in depression-
Dusknoir: *as same* Or she could go join al-Queda.
Sakura: I feel so bad for her. (A slow song comes on) Well let’s go! All three of us girls have dates, so let’s make the most of this dance!
Kyurem: So this Sakura girl is simultaneously making fun of her friend behind her back while stating information that we already know.
Dr. Sceptile: What can I say? Minions take after their masters.
Misty: (Thinking) I can’t believe this. He’s just so light on his feet. (Sighing)
Ash: What’s with the heavy sigh?
GLaDOS: *throws storage cubes at the screen*
Misty: Oh! It’s nothing! I just like this song, that’s all! (An hour later)
Dr. Sceptile: *eagerly* What is it?
Porygon-Z: An orchestral slow dance.
Marisa: She’s still out there? Man, I thought I had her in my speech!
Brock: Sure she didn’t fall asleep!
Entei: *as Marisa* Of course not! All I did was take her voice!
Marisa: Shut up! What I am sure of now is that it’ll take some time for her heart to heal after it has been hurt tonight. Another thing I’m pretty sure of is that perverted date of mine has been trying to grope my butt!
Dr. Sceptile: *hands Entei 9000 Poké*
Entei: I win! Hrah ha ha ha!
Brock: Aren’t we being a wee bit paranoid?
Dusknoir: *as Marisa* It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.
Deejay: Alright folks, give it up for your Homecoming Queen, Lucy!
Kyurem: Who’s Deejay?
Humblot: Friend of mine. A true citizen of France. Turned the lord of Paris over to the Revolution.
Kyurem: What’s he doing here then?
Humblot: Probably extending the power of the Revolution.
Brock: Lucy?
Kyurem: Medusa?
GLaDOS: Yes.
Deejay: Isn’t she beautiful folks?
Entei: Ain’t she a beaut? Look at her, folks- 14 ft long!
Brock: She sure is! ALL HAIL QUEEN LUCY! I’M NOT WORTHY! (Misty grabs his ear)
Humblot: Ready the Weights of Liberty!
All Else: What?
Misty: Stop bothering the queen!
Humblot: Down with the queen! Down with the queen! Use the Weights of Liberty on the Queen!
Dusknoir: Oh, great.
Brock: Not the ear, not the ear! QUEEN LUCY! QUEEN LUCY! LONG LIVE QUEEN LUCY!
Humblot: BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY! BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY!
Dr. Sceptile: Calm down!
Humblot: BRING DOWN QUEEN LUCY!
GLaDOS: *has turrets fire on Humblot’s seat*
Lucy: Who is that masked man? (One more hour later)
Raikou: Superman.
Entei: The Wizard of Oz.
Dusknoir: Wolverine.
Humblot: A Revolutionary!
Porygon-Z: Zorro.
Kyurem: Mr. Incredible.
Dr. Sceptile: Jesus.
Sakura: Good grief, she hasn’t moved from that spot once. We better check and make sure she’s still breathing. (Slap sound)
Dusknoir: And suddenly, abruptly, the air slapped Sakura.
Marisa: Pervert!
Sakura: I guess her date with Gary didn’t go so well. (Misty and Ash walk up) Did you two have a great time?
Dr. Sceptile: *as Ash* Of course! We are the One True Pairing!
Humblot: *as Misty* Anyway, we were just in the standing things-
Entei: *Fire Blast*
GLaDOS: *dumps water on Humblot*
Humblot: *steam rising off his skin* m- *collapses*
Ash: It was a blast! I’m going to go outside and check if my mom is waiting for us. (He goes outside)
Misty: Oh crap, I forgot my coat! (Outside)
Dr. Sceptile: And so the OTP gets destroyed through a combination of incompetence and forgetting a coat. Let’s have a moment of silence, please.
GLaDOS: *plays a freight train*
Raikou, Entei, Kyurem: *roar*
Porygon-Z: *sings Never Gonna Give You Up*
Dusknoir: *hums Canon in D Major*
Humblot: *revives* *sings a Revolutionary song*
Dr. Sceptile: *joins Dusknoir in humming*
Ash: Anabel, what are you doing out here all alone!
Anabel: Let’s just say I had a rough night. Oh, I don’t think you want to hear about my problems.
Ash: It’s no problem! Tell me!
Dr. Sceptile: *clears throat* And thank you all for the moment of silence.
Anabel: Well, let’s just say I got tricked by two girls who told me they could hook me up with an upperclassman.
Entei: *as Anabel* Because I’m an idiot-
Raikou: *as same* -who has no backbone.
Well they lied and I spent the whole night crying my eyes out.
Ash: I’m sorry to hear that.
Humblot: So, who will win the bet?
As the two continued to talk, Misty came out of the gym. In the distance, she saw Ash and Anabel sitting next to each other. All of a sudden, Ash and Anabel stared at each other for a few seconds and without warning, the two of them went in for a slow kiss on the lips. When Misty saw it, her heart immediately dropped and she ran off crying.
All: Whaaaaaaaaat?
Dusknoir: Why are they suddenly kissing! It makes no sense! All they were doing is-
Dr. Sceptile: Can you feel the love tonight~
Kyurem: Just let me go in and eat them.
Entei: Where’s the buildup? The actual interaction? Why are they suddenly kissing?
Raikou: And this, gentlemen, computers, and legends, is why you don’t have romance develop in a summary.
Humblot: Well, I guess I win. *gets paid* I’ll use this to fund my very own Weight of Liberty!
Porygon-Z: “Without warning” is right. It shows that both of them appear to have no impulse control. They both randomly decide to go in for a slow kiss or something, despite interacting maybe once, without the rest of their conversation being described, before suddenly falling in lust with each other!
GLaDOS: That’s all very nice and all, but did you all learn something?
Entei: Marisa is a sea witch.
Kyurem: Ash and Anabel can’t control themselves.
Raikou: Anabel is as smart as a sack of hammers.
Dr. Sceptile: Being stuck mid-air is fun.
Porygon-Z: Daisy and co. are the opposite of progressive feminist women.
Humblot: The Brit wasn’t kidding when he said he’ll turn this into a musical.
Dusknoir: Annie and Oakley are employees for Pallet Dating Services Inc., run by Brock of course.
GLaDOS: *retrieves turrets* You may all leave. Before I get the neurotoxin.
All: *leave*