Chapter Five

Jun 17, 2008 00:43

OMG, this chapter is soooo very looooong. 16 pages in Word. Yeah, I'm dedicated ( Read more... )

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Comments 18

dollsoflace June 20 2008, 04:58:43 UTC
I won't read five tonight because -I- am having a depressed day and already dehydrated my eyes to the depressing B-T songs today. Besides, I need to pace myself.

I think "Tarnished Devotion" would be a better title. Or, "Tarnished Adoration." In a way, Baum (I hope I spelled it right) sees Atsushi as something grand... he has an idolatry for him. Depending on where you take this the title could have double meaning, reflecting on the dangers of Atsushi's own "devotion" to a number of things: solitude, self-loathing, death, dark, solitude, alcohol... etc.

You get deep with this, let your title reflect the depth and not just the instrument of "the bad guy."

Good job. (= Me likes.

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airian_reesu June 20 2008, 05:03:43 UTC
Good idea. ^^

That's a very good title, actually. I might steal that. (I hate making titles with the damn passion. I bet I could write a thousand page novel...and NOT have a title. xD)

Actually, the "bad poetry" bit does become a running thing later on (not just b/c of the usage by the "bad guy"). It's one thing that helps Imai remember... (I don't think that's spoiling anything...) But, like I said, I just randomly threw it out there. It was more a brain itch than anything really concrete.

I might have to credit you with the title then. ^__^

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dollsoflace June 20 2008, 06:18:16 UTC
Oh no. In the end pick a title that hits you as "this is it." And if you happen to take my suggestion you can do so freely.

Can I squeal now? *squeals* I loved Imai. It felt like Tenshi -- him stealing the show with his antics. No for real -- gooood characterization. You ... it's good. 'nuff said xD

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airian_reesu June 20 2008, 14:20:25 UTC
That's my problem-- I rarely get hit by titles. ;_;

Thanks. ^^ (Writing "Imai" is actually kinda fun...)

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dollsoflace June 22 2008, 19:52:10 UTC
Well, you did great. I know precisely what it feels like to be depressed and wasted. So, you did a good job. Completely credible.

Thank God for friends.

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