[G] As They Should Be [EXO] (1/1)
Title: As They Should Be
Author: airplanewishes
Fandom: EXO
Characters: Kris/Lay, Lay/Lu Han
Genre: Romance, Friendship
Rating: G
WC: 1,921
Summary: Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay.
Prompt from seoulfulness: disbandment or post-disbandment, Anna Nalick's song Breathe, found here
As They Should Be
Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay. Every night, he sits on a stool in a tiny café in one of the busier streets in Changsha, guitar on his lap and sings songs about yesteryears and his shoulda, woulda, couldas, things he can only express in song. He brings the microphone close to his lips, strums the guitar strings with his fingers and closes his eyes, his heart pouring into song. Each time he starts to sing, it always feels like nothing's changed. And each time he ends the song, it always feel like he's losing that part of him all over again.
"Good show tonight." Lu Han claps a hand on Yixing's back and sits on the chair that Yixing uses on stage and watches as he packs the microphone and the chords in a black bag. Lu Han is wearing simple shirt and jeans with a jacket and a cap on his head and Yixing sighs because Lu Han is still as famous as he was back then, if not more, and if people gets wind of him, he will be mobbed. But Lu Han doesn’t seem to care about this. He speaks again before Yixing can utter a word. "I know, I know, I shouldn't be here," Lu Han says. "But I'm in town so I thought, why not?"
"I don't know how your manager believes that it'll help your career by doing shows in Changsha," Yixing mutters as he zips up the bag and walks down the stage to secure the bag in the office behind the stage. Lu Han follows him without second thought, a sign that he’s pretty much welcome there since he comes over like a regular.
"Well, not exactly in Changsha, but why not?" Lu Han asks. "We've been to every nook and cranny of China. People know us wherever we go. I'm sure that if you just--"
Yixing straightens up and gives him a pointed look. "You know it's not like that anymore," he stops him.
"Yixing," Lu Han says, clearly frustrated. "If you'll just--"
"It's not my life anymore," Yixing reiterates as they make their way out back into the main restaurant. He slings his bag over his shoulder and waves at the staff still cleaning up. He breathes deeply when they step out into the cool night.
He misses nights like these if only for the memories that it brings back to him. It brings back sleepless nights, hanging out on the rooftop of the company building in between practice breaks. It brings back sneaking out late at night to get some snacks for the team. It brings back whispers and cuddles and kisses under the blankets. Such things that Yixing can never get back.
"It doesn't have to be like this, Yixing," Lu Han insists.
Yixing sighs and turns to face Lu Han properly for the first time that evening. "It does have to be like this," he insists in turn. "That life... while I'm sad that it's over, it all became too tiring for me. I loved singing, dancing and performing but I forgot why I did somewhere along the way."
All the sleepless nights and the dance and song rehearsals that ended when the sun was already rising, coupled with the various schedules and the traveling that they did for shows around the world took its toll on him. There were a lot of times that it stopped being fun because he couldn’t even appreciate it anymore just because he was so tired.
"So you did want to disband," Lu Han interjects, eyes wide with surprise and hurt.
It was two years ago that the idea of EXO finally going their separate ways came to be. Baekhyun had lost his voice after a routine performance and they found that he'd strained it too hard for too long, that if he carried on like he did, he'd lose it completely. The management discussed it and the members discussed it. In the middle of the seriousness of it all, Jongin joked that maybe this was a sign that their time was starting to run out. There was a pause and the hard consciousness of that fact hit them all. Seven years wasn't bad for an idol group. And that's where it became clear, the cracks that had been there somewhere in between all those years, the fissures created by exhaustion and disagreements and just plain differences. They were all just a group of boys who didn't know each other when they were thrust together after all.
Yixing remembers slumping down on the practice room floor after dancing himself practically to death after the decision had been made. EXO was going to disband and they were all left with options as to how to proceed with their careers.
Yixing chose to take of his mask, discard Lay, to completely leave everything behind.
"It wasn't because I wanted to leave you," Yixing emphasizes because that is the only reason he hated leaving. Despite not having known them at the beginning, they became brothers by the end of it all. Lu Han, even more so. He became his best friend. He sighs and puts an arm around Lu Han as they start walking back to his apartment. "After all those years of being in the spotlight, I just wanted to lay low and just find myself and be myself again."
Lu Han shakes his head and sighs because he doesn't understand. He bites his lip for a second then blurts out, "I saw Wu Fan last week."
Yixing stops walking and lets the arm that was resting around Lu Han drop back to his side. He narrows his eyes at him. "You two saw each other? Is it by accident or--?"
"I met up with him," Lu Han hastily explains. "I knew he was in Beijing, promoting his movie the same time as my album promotions and I just wanted to...catch up." He hesitates. "He's supposed to be here, too, in Hunan. Right now," he shares, biting his lip, worried about Yixing's reaction, because whenever he brought Wu Fan up in their conversations, Yixing always started becoming distant.
Yixing looks at him like he's assessing him before he shrugs off the information he's just received and resumes walking.
"Look," Lu Han continues, coming into step beside him. "I don't know what happened between the two of you but I know that it shouldn't be like this."
"Oh really?" Yixing chuckles. "Then what should it be like?" But he thinks he can guess what Lu Han’s driving at.
"You two should be together," Lu Han says without hesitation and Yixing stops walking again for the second time. Lu Han plays with his fingers, a frown on his still-pretty face. "I know I'm not supposed to know and that no one's supposed to talk about it, but I just..." He lifts his eyes and meets Yixing's. "I know and I saw that you were happy with him, you were happy together."
He and Wu Fan were happy together, Yixing remembers. It’s a love that started somewhere in between complaining over late night exhaustions to sitting beside each other in airplanes and whispering over how bad Jongdae’s and Minseok’s Mandarin were. It’s a love that started with friendship that became something fiery and so consuming that Yixing can’t forget it even if he tries.
Yixing grabs Lu Han’s hand and squeezes it tight as they enter his apartment building. Out of everyone, he knows that Lu Han is one, if not the only one, who would notice things like this, because he is too observant for his own good.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Yixing says as they get into the elevator and he presses the button for the 12th floor. He leans back on the wall. "If there's anyone who deserves to know about it, it's you."
They're quiet on the way up and Yixing's thoughts are filled with memories of growing up side-by-side with Wu Fan and Lu Han. There isn't a memory of his that he can conjure without having the both of them there. He thinks contentedly that his life is significantly more beautiful because of that fact.
"I'm sorry that it had to be this way," Lu Han grabs Yixing's wrist as they're about to enter the apartment.
Yixing wraps his arms around Lu Han for a bit, hugging his best of more than 10 years. He's smiling when he pulls away and chuckles when Lu Han just looks confused.
"I'm not sorry," Yixing earnestly tells him with a shake of his head.
Before Lu Han could ask why, Yixing pulls him into the apartment. They take off their shoes and Lu Han follows him inside the modestly decorated apartment. Yixing is never really someone who cared about material possessions. Yixing disappears into the kitchen, while Lu Han waits in the living room.
He's never been inside Yixing's apartment, never having been invited before, so he looks around, going through picture frame after picture frame. With each photo that he sees, his eyes widen and widen and widen, until he thinks he's going to be able to rival Kyungsoo with it. He snaps around when he hears movement behind him and he muffles his cry of surprise with his hand.
Yixing can’t help but laugh as Lu Han’s eyes widen so much that his eyelids comically seem to disappear in seeing him with Wu Fan by his side. Wu Fan gives Lu Han a sheepish smile and an awkward wave.
"I really should have told you," Yixing says, a small smile on his face as he looks up at Wu Fan, whose arm was around him. "But I just thought..." He continues smiling sheepishly instead.
"For the record, I did want to tell you," Wu Fan finally speaks, tightening his hold on Yixing's waist.
Yixing and Wu Fan never stopped being together. Even when Lay’s moved away from the spotlight and Kris has continued to bask in his, as a TV and movie actor this time, they continue to stay together, as how they always have been. At least once a week, Wu Fan comes home to their apartment in Changsha, where Yixing chooses to live in.
Lu Han bursts into tears. "I hate you both! All this time I've been so worried and so stressed over the fact that you two weren't together when you're supposed to be," he practically screeches, swiping at his eyes.
Yixing laughs, untangles himself from Wu Fan to hug Lu Han once again. "This is why you're my best friend," Yixing says and Lu Han peers at him dolefully, "because you know things that already are."
Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay. Every night, he sits on a stool, guitar on his lap and sings songs about yesteryears and his shoulda, woulda, couldas, things he can only express in song. He brings the microphone close to his lips, strums the guitar strings with his fingers and closes his eyes, his heart pouring into song. Each time he starts to sing, it always feels like nothing's changed. And each time he ends the song, it always feel like he's losing that part of him all over again.
But each time he stops singing and opens his eyes, he sees Wu Fan beside him and he thinks that things are exactly as they should be.
Author: airplanewishes
Fandom: EXO
Characters: Kris/Lay, Lay/Lu Han
Genre: Romance, Friendship
Rating: G
WC: 1,921
Summary: Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay.
Prompt from seoulfulness: disbandment or post-disbandment, Anna Nalick's song Breathe, found here
As They Should Be
Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay. Every night, he sits on a stool in a tiny café in one of the busier streets in Changsha, guitar on his lap and sings songs about yesteryears and his shoulda, woulda, couldas, things he can only express in song. He brings the microphone close to his lips, strums the guitar strings with his fingers and closes his eyes, his heart pouring into song. Each time he starts to sing, it always feels like nothing's changed. And each time he ends the song, it always feel like he's losing that part of him all over again.
"Good show tonight." Lu Han claps a hand on Yixing's back and sits on the chair that Yixing uses on stage and watches as he packs the microphone and the chords in a black bag. Lu Han is wearing simple shirt and jeans with a jacket and a cap on his head and Yixing sighs because Lu Han is still as famous as he was back then, if not more, and if people gets wind of him, he will be mobbed. But Lu Han doesn’t seem to care about this. He speaks again before Yixing can utter a word. "I know, I know, I shouldn't be here," Lu Han says. "But I'm in town so I thought, why not?"
"I don't know how your manager believes that it'll help your career by doing shows in Changsha," Yixing mutters as he zips up the bag and walks down the stage to secure the bag in the office behind the stage. Lu Han follows him without second thought, a sign that he’s pretty much welcome there since he comes over like a regular.
"Well, not exactly in Changsha, but why not?" Lu Han asks. "We've been to every nook and cranny of China. People know us wherever we go. I'm sure that if you just--"
Yixing straightens up and gives him a pointed look. "You know it's not like that anymore," he stops him.
"Yixing," Lu Han says, clearly frustrated. "If you'll just--"
"It's not my life anymore," Yixing reiterates as they make their way out back into the main restaurant. He slings his bag over his shoulder and waves at the staff still cleaning up. He breathes deeply when they step out into the cool night.
He misses nights like these if only for the memories that it brings back to him. It brings back sleepless nights, hanging out on the rooftop of the company building in between practice breaks. It brings back sneaking out late at night to get some snacks for the team. It brings back whispers and cuddles and kisses under the blankets. Such things that Yixing can never get back.
"It doesn't have to be like this, Yixing," Lu Han insists.
Yixing sighs and turns to face Lu Han properly for the first time that evening. "It does have to be like this," he insists in turn. "That life... while I'm sad that it's over, it all became too tiring for me. I loved singing, dancing and performing but I forgot why I did somewhere along the way."
All the sleepless nights and the dance and song rehearsals that ended when the sun was already rising, coupled with the various schedules and the traveling that they did for shows around the world took its toll on him. There were a lot of times that it stopped being fun because he couldn’t even appreciate it anymore just because he was so tired.
"So you did want to disband," Lu Han interjects, eyes wide with surprise and hurt.
It was two years ago that the idea of EXO finally going their separate ways came to be. Baekhyun had lost his voice after a routine performance and they found that he'd strained it too hard for too long, that if he carried on like he did, he'd lose it completely. The management discussed it and the members discussed it. In the middle of the seriousness of it all, Jongin joked that maybe this was a sign that their time was starting to run out. There was a pause and the hard consciousness of that fact hit them all. Seven years wasn't bad for an idol group. And that's where it became clear, the cracks that had been there somewhere in between all those years, the fissures created by exhaustion and disagreements and just plain differences. They were all just a group of boys who didn't know each other when they were thrust together after all.
Yixing remembers slumping down on the practice room floor after dancing himself practically to death after the decision had been made. EXO was going to disband and they were all left with options as to how to proceed with their careers.
Yixing chose to take of his mask, discard Lay, to completely leave everything behind.
"It wasn't because I wanted to leave you," Yixing emphasizes because that is the only reason he hated leaving. Despite not having known them at the beginning, they became brothers by the end of it all. Lu Han, even more so. He became his best friend. He sighs and puts an arm around Lu Han as they start walking back to his apartment. "After all those years of being in the spotlight, I just wanted to lay low and just find myself and be myself again."
Lu Han shakes his head and sighs because he doesn't understand. He bites his lip for a second then blurts out, "I saw Wu Fan last week."
Yixing stops walking and lets the arm that was resting around Lu Han drop back to his side. He narrows his eyes at him. "You two saw each other? Is it by accident or--?"
"I met up with him," Lu Han hastily explains. "I knew he was in Beijing, promoting his movie the same time as my album promotions and I just wanted to...catch up." He hesitates. "He's supposed to be here, too, in Hunan. Right now," he shares, biting his lip, worried about Yixing's reaction, because whenever he brought Wu Fan up in their conversations, Yixing always started becoming distant.
Yixing looks at him like he's assessing him before he shrugs off the information he's just received and resumes walking.
"Look," Lu Han continues, coming into step beside him. "I don't know what happened between the two of you but I know that it shouldn't be like this."
"Oh really?" Yixing chuckles. "Then what should it be like?" But he thinks he can guess what Lu Han’s driving at.
"You two should be together," Lu Han says without hesitation and Yixing stops walking again for the second time. Lu Han plays with his fingers, a frown on his still-pretty face. "I know I'm not supposed to know and that no one's supposed to talk about it, but I just..." He lifts his eyes and meets Yixing's. "I know and I saw that you were happy with him, you were happy together."
He and Wu Fan were happy together, Yixing remembers. It’s a love that started somewhere in between complaining over late night exhaustions to sitting beside each other in airplanes and whispering over how bad Jongdae’s and Minseok’s Mandarin were. It’s a love that started with friendship that became something fiery and so consuming that Yixing can’t forget it even if he tries.
Yixing grabs Lu Han’s hand and squeezes it tight as they enter his apartment building. Out of everyone, he knows that Lu Han is one, if not the only one, who would notice things like this, because he is too observant for his own good.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Yixing says as they get into the elevator and he presses the button for the 12th floor. He leans back on the wall. "If there's anyone who deserves to know about it, it's you."
They're quiet on the way up and Yixing's thoughts are filled with memories of growing up side-by-side with Wu Fan and Lu Han. There isn't a memory of his that he can conjure without having the both of them there. He thinks contentedly that his life is significantly more beautiful because of that fact.
"I'm sorry that it had to be this way," Lu Han grabs Yixing's wrist as they're about to enter the apartment.
Yixing wraps his arms around Lu Han for a bit, hugging his best of more than 10 years. He's smiling when he pulls away and chuckles when Lu Han just looks confused.
"I'm not sorry," Yixing earnestly tells him with a shake of his head.
Before Lu Han could ask why, Yixing pulls him into the apartment. They take off their shoes and Lu Han follows him inside the modestly decorated apartment. Yixing is never really someone who cared about material possessions. Yixing disappears into the kitchen, while Lu Han waits in the living room.
He's never been inside Yixing's apartment, never having been invited before, so he looks around, going through picture frame after picture frame. With each photo that he sees, his eyes widen and widen and widen, until he thinks he's going to be able to rival Kyungsoo with it. He snaps around when he hears movement behind him and he muffles his cry of surprise with his hand.
Yixing can’t help but laugh as Lu Han’s eyes widen so much that his eyelids comically seem to disappear in seeing him with Wu Fan by his side. Wu Fan gives Lu Han a sheepish smile and an awkward wave.
"I really should have told you," Yixing says, a small smile on his face as he looks up at Wu Fan, whose arm was around him. "But I just thought..." He continues smiling sheepishly instead.
"For the record, I did want to tell you," Wu Fan finally speaks, tightening his hold on Yixing's waist.
Yixing and Wu Fan never stopped being together. Even when Lay’s moved away from the spotlight and Kris has continued to bask in his, as a TV and movie actor this time, they continue to stay together, as how they always have been. At least once a week, Wu Fan comes home to their apartment in Changsha, where Yixing chooses to live in.
Lu Han bursts into tears. "I hate you both! All this time I've been so worried and so stressed over the fact that you two weren't together when you're supposed to be," he practically screeches, swiping at his eyes.
Yixing laughs, untangles himself from Wu Fan to hug Lu Han once again. "This is why you're my best friend," Yixing says and Lu Han peers at him dolefully, "because you know things that already are."
Yixing continues to sing even after EXO stops being EXO and Yixing stops being Lay. Every night, he sits on a stool, guitar on his lap and sings songs about yesteryears and his shoulda, woulda, couldas, things he can only express in song. He brings the microphone close to his lips, strums the guitar strings with his fingers and closes his eyes, his heart pouring into song. Each time he starts to sing, it always feels like nothing's changed. And each time he ends the song, it always feel like he's losing that part of him all over again.
But each time he stops singing and opens his eyes, he sees Wu Fan beside him and he thinks that things are exactly as they should be.