thisclose [Kris/Baekhyun]
thisclose
EXO | Kris/Baekhyun | G | 1,325w
Romance, Angst
He takes his phone out and answers it without checking to see who’s calling. He knows who it is anyway. He always knows who it is.
Prompt from seoulfulness found here
thisclose
He fists the trophy, tight in his hand, turning it this way and that and watches as the gold glints off the star under the white fluorescent light of his bedroom. Placing it on his bedside table, he sits further back on his bed, stares at it, and years of limitless sweat skating its way down his back, muscles aching and bones almost breaking finally have a reward. Best Rookie sounds quite good on his lips and sounds even better when it comes rolling off the other members’ tongues with huge smiles on their faces, eyes bright and cheeks flushed with happiness. Yeah, he thinks, all the harsh training seems quite worth it in the end.
He shifts in his position on the bed as he feels his mobile phone vibrate in his performance pants’ pocket. After having gone from the ceremony and to the celebratory dinner afterwards, he still hasn’t managed to come down from his high and actually change back into normal clothing. He feels his gelled hair sticking to the back of his neck, damp with sweat, sticky and gross. He should probably wrestle with the members to the shower, but he takes his phone out and answers it without checking to see who’s calling. He knows who it is anyway. He always knows who it is.
He pauses for a second before taking a deep breath and saying, “We really shouldn’t be talking like this.” He closes his eyes because he knows it’s true and that the other person knows it’s true. It’s never been truer than it was that day.
There’s a pause on the other end of the line as well, before Baekhyun’s voice replaces the quiet static. “Tell me not to call and I’ll stop,” he says firmly, but Kris can hear the quiet pleading in the notes, in the shortness of its delivery, in how there’s a tiny hesitation before stop, and he knows that he wants this as much as Baekhyun does.
“Everyone’s going crazy outside,” Kris says instead.
He can hear the slamming of doors outside his room. Zitao’s probably running after Lu Han, who has probably taken some stuffed toy of the other’s from his room again. He can hear Jongdae’s rambunctious laughter because he enjoys it when his members are having some sort of squabble. Then there’s Minseok’s voice over the ruckus, telling Zitao and Lu Han to be careful not to knock anything over and will Lu Han please be more mature because he’s actually one of the eldest in the group. He doesn’t hear Yixing because Yixing is always quiet and subdued, which does worry Kris sometimes, but he thinks it’s better than the way the rest of the members drive him crazy sometimes.
“And yet you’re in your room,” Baekhyun chuckles knowingly.
“I am,” Kris sighs because he knows exactly when Baekhyun will call and never wants to miss the chance to answer it because Baekhyun only calls once in a day, just a little after 10:00 in the evening.
Baekhyun is one of the newer members of the group, one of the newer trainees, only being in training for a year before the company decides that he’s good enough to debut. Kris’s initial thought was how unfair it was. There are people like him, Chanyeol, Jongin, who’ve been training for far longer and then there are people like Joonmyun, who seems like he’s been training all his life only to be overtaken by someone like Baekhyun and Jongdae because they obviously have better voices and maybe a bit more star quality, too. Then Kris and Baekhyun meet and all bitter thoughts are forgotten because wow Baekhyun is really something.
Kris remembers the laughter that tinkled out of Baekhyun’s pink lips when they talked the first time. It’s something that he can’t ever seem to forget because it was then that something twisted in his gut, almost making him keen over and made him wonder what the hell was going on. It was Baekhyun’s laughter, then the twinkle in his eyes, then the way he looks so heartfelt when he sings, then the eye smiles that he produces, then his eyeliner, then their conversations… and then it’s just Baekhyun. Before Kris knows it, Baekhyun has wormed his way into his life and weaved himself in between the spaces of his heart.
“Congratulations,” Baekhyun tells him, the sincerity and his pride ringing loud and clear. He hesitates. “Earlier, I’m sorry I couldn’t…” He trails off and Kris can imagine him biting his lips with the sudden uncertainty.
Kris closes his eyes and breathes in and out as he remembers how he searched for Baekhyun’s eyes right after EXO-M’s name had been called for the award. Baekhyun had smiled at him then and merely nodded, making way for Chanyeol, who squeezed and thumped Kris’s back like he had something stuck in his throat, making way for Joonmyun, who was also a leader and someone who must be the happiest of them all, making way for others, but never for the two of them.
“Well that fist bump certainly made up for it,” Kris teases him instead and Baekhyun blurts out an embarrassed groan.
Kris craves for touches that he knows Baekhyun can’t give because in a world where their every move is being watched like it was the most popular feature, they can’t afford to slip up even just a tiny bit to show what the real deal between them is. Because people still aren’t as accepting as they say they are and there are always consequences for such revelations. Dreams are more important, dreams that they’ve worked so hard to train for, all the sweat, tears, backaches and heartaches, dreams that will poof away if they give in to this. The short touching of their knuckles against each other makes Kris wonder if it’s all worth it in the end. Not everyone gets to feel like this, he thinks, not everyone gets to be so lucky, and he questions why such things have to be so hard sometimes.
“I have to go,” Baekhyun then says and Kris can hear Kyungsoo reminding Baekhyun of EXO-K’s recording schedule the next morning. “I just wanted to congratulate you again.”
Kris sighs. We are one reverberates in his mind because EXO is one, but, at the end of the day, EXO-M and EXO-K go their separate ways and he feels his chest tighten at the fact that no matter what there will always be that divide, that no matter how close they are, no matter how hard they try to stick together, they will always be separated because that’s how things should be.
It’s interesting how Kris is in EXO-M and Baekhyun is in EXO-K, at how it seems like their lives will never be fully intertwined no matter how much they want it to be. In the rare moments that their schedules clash and they become EXO, there’s a relief that surges over Kris because he’s reminded that, yes, they can be together, after all; and then this relief is snatched away from him when they’re tugged in different directions because, no, you’re not meant to both go that way.
“Hey,” Baekhyun speaks again when he continues to be quiet. It reminds Kris of those stolen moments where Baekhyun is cuddled towards him as they watch a movie in his laptop in a darkened room, while Yixing is off teaching the guitar to Jongdae. “We’re-we’re… okay… right?”
Kris knows what Baekhyun is asking, searching for reassurance in not so many words, because what words are there to describe what they are when they can’t even express it properly to each other? Because, even when they’re two points placed thisclose, they’re not really touching and probably never will.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” Kris says with a quiet sigh.
It’s all they can have for now and Kris decides that he’ll take it any given day.
EXO | Kris/Baekhyun | G | 1,325w
Romance, Angst
He takes his phone out and answers it without checking to see who’s calling. He knows who it is anyway. He always knows who it is.
Prompt from seoulfulness found here
thisclose
He fists the trophy, tight in his hand, turning it this way and that and watches as the gold glints off the star under the white fluorescent light of his bedroom. Placing it on his bedside table, he sits further back on his bed, stares at it, and years of limitless sweat skating its way down his back, muscles aching and bones almost breaking finally have a reward. Best Rookie sounds quite good on his lips and sounds even better when it comes rolling off the other members’ tongues with huge smiles on their faces, eyes bright and cheeks flushed with happiness. Yeah, he thinks, all the harsh training seems quite worth it in the end.
He shifts in his position on the bed as he feels his mobile phone vibrate in his performance pants’ pocket. After having gone from the ceremony and to the celebratory dinner afterwards, he still hasn’t managed to come down from his high and actually change back into normal clothing. He feels his gelled hair sticking to the back of his neck, damp with sweat, sticky and gross. He should probably wrestle with the members to the shower, but he takes his phone out and answers it without checking to see who’s calling. He knows who it is anyway. He always knows who it is.
He pauses for a second before taking a deep breath and saying, “We really shouldn’t be talking like this.” He closes his eyes because he knows it’s true and that the other person knows it’s true. It’s never been truer than it was that day.
There’s a pause on the other end of the line as well, before Baekhyun’s voice replaces the quiet static. “Tell me not to call and I’ll stop,” he says firmly, but Kris can hear the quiet pleading in the notes, in the shortness of its delivery, in how there’s a tiny hesitation before stop, and he knows that he wants this as much as Baekhyun does.
“Everyone’s going crazy outside,” Kris says instead.
He can hear the slamming of doors outside his room. Zitao’s probably running after Lu Han, who has probably taken some stuffed toy of the other’s from his room again. He can hear Jongdae’s rambunctious laughter because he enjoys it when his members are having some sort of squabble. Then there’s Minseok’s voice over the ruckus, telling Zitao and Lu Han to be careful not to knock anything over and will Lu Han please be more mature because he’s actually one of the eldest in the group. He doesn’t hear Yixing because Yixing is always quiet and subdued, which does worry Kris sometimes, but he thinks it’s better than the way the rest of the members drive him crazy sometimes.
“And yet you’re in your room,” Baekhyun chuckles knowingly.
“I am,” Kris sighs because he knows exactly when Baekhyun will call and never wants to miss the chance to answer it because Baekhyun only calls once in a day, just a little after 10:00 in the evening.
Baekhyun is one of the newer members of the group, one of the newer trainees, only being in training for a year before the company decides that he’s good enough to debut. Kris’s initial thought was how unfair it was. There are people like him, Chanyeol, Jongin, who’ve been training for far longer and then there are people like Joonmyun, who seems like he’s been training all his life only to be overtaken by someone like Baekhyun and Jongdae because they obviously have better voices and maybe a bit more star quality, too. Then Kris and Baekhyun meet and all bitter thoughts are forgotten because wow Baekhyun is really something.
Kris remembers the laughter that tinkled out of Baekhyun’s pink lips when they talked the first time. It’s something that he can’t ever seem to forget because it was then that something twisted in his gut, almost making him keen over and made him wonder what the hell was going on. It was Baekhyun’s laughter, then the twinkle in his eyes, then the way he looks so heartfelt when he sings, then the eye smiles that he produces, then his eyeliner, then their conversations… and then it’s just Baekhyun. Before Kris knows it, Baekhyun has wormed his way into his life and weaved himself in between the spaces of his heart.
“Congratulations,” Baekhyun tells him, the sincerity and his pride ringing loud and clear. He hesitates. “Earlier, I’m sorry I couldn’t…” He trails off and Kris can imagine him biting his lips with the sudden uncertainty.
Kris closes his eyes and breathes in and out as he remembers how he searched for Baekhyun’s eyes right after EXO-M’s name had been called for the award. Baekhyun had smiled at him then and merely nodded, making way for Chanyeol, who squeezed and thumped Kris’s back like he had something stuck in his throat, making way for Joonmyun, who was also a leader and someone who must be the happiest of them all, making way for others, but never for the two of them.
“Well that fist bump certainly made up for it,” Kris teases him instead and Baekhyun blurts out an embarrassed groan.
Kris craves for touches that he knows Baekhyun can’t give because in a world where their every move is being watched like it was the most popular feature, they can’t afford to slip up even just a tiny bit to show what the real deal between them is. Because people still aren’t as accepting as they say they are and there are always consequences for such revelations. Dreams are more important, dreams that they’ve worked so hard to train for, all the sweat, tears, backaches and heartaches, dreams that will poof away if they give in to this. The short touching of their knuckles against each other makes Kris wonder if it’s all worth it in the end. Not everyone gets to feel like this, he thinks, not everyone gets to be so lucky, and he questions why such things have to be so hard sometimes.
“I have to go,” Baekhyun then says and Kris can hear Kyungsoo reminding Baekhyun of EXO-K’s recording schedule the next morning. “I just wanted to congratulate you again.”
Kris sighs. We are one reverberates in his mind because EXO is one, but, at the end of the day, EXO-M and EXO-K go their separate ways and he feels his chest tighten at the fact that no matter what there will always be that divide, that no matter how close they are, no matter how hard they try to stick together, they will always be separated because that’s how things should be.
It’s interesting how Kris is in EXO-M and Baekhyun is in EXO-K, at how it seems like their lives will never be fully intertwined no matter how much they want it to be. In the rare moments that their schedules clash and they become EXO, there’s a relief that surges over Kris because he’s reminded that, yes, they can be together, after all; and then this relief is snatched away from him when they’re tugged in different directions because, no, you’re not meant to both go that way.
“Hey,” Baekhyun speaks again when he continues to be quiet. It reminds Kris of those stolen moments where Baekhyun is cuddled towards him as they watch a movie in his laptop in a darkened room, while Yixing is off teaching the guitar to Jongdae. “We’re-we’re… okay… right?”
Kris knows what Baekhyun is asking, searching for reassurance in not so many words, because what words are there to describe what they are when they can’t even express it properly to each other? Because, even when they’re two points placed thisclose, they’re not really touching and probably never will.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” Kris says with a quiet sigh.
It’s all they can have for now and Kris decides that he’ll take it any given day.