Par Amor [Baekhyun/Suho] (1/5)
Par Amor
EXO | girl!Baekhyun/Suho | NC-17 | 32k~
Romance, Angst
Two halves do not always make a whole.
Warnings: Please take these seriously. [Click]Themes of adultery, abuse, rape, non-consensual sex, battery. Also, girl!EXO.
Par Amor
Baekhyun goes through her checklist, black pen on hand, as she moves down the hallway to make sure that all the rooms are in order. Lu Han, who’s walking beside her with her own checklist on hand, rattles off the room assignments from perfect memory. Baekhyun peeks into one of the rooms, glancing at the neat bed by the wall, the clean bathroom, as well as the vanity mirror. She quickly takes in her slightly disheveled appearance and runs a hand down her brown locks to smooth down some tangles.
“Are we sure that there’s hot water, no clogged toilets or drainages?” Baekhyun asks, leaving the room and moving towards the lobby. “Also, we have to have instructions on how to work the hot water.” She puts a tiny note right beside room arrangements.
“Done and done,” Lu Han swiftly responds. “Kyungsoo has made sure that each room has a perfectly working bathroom. We’ve also made sure that bathrooms near the session hall are working perfectly.”
They reach the session hall where the seminar they’re preparing for is going to be held. Baekhyun eyes the tables seamlessly placed in orderly rows and columns, each with a notebook and pen on them.
“Name tags?” Baekhyun then asks as they approach the service table at the back of the room, where their teammates are.
“All in order,” Kyungsoo pipes in, looking up from her seat. She reaches out a hand and squeezes Baekhyun’s. “Everything’s going to be fine. Don’t worry so much.”
“I’m not worried,” Baekhyun immediately corrects her. “I’m not,” she repeats when both Lu Han and Kyungsoo raise their eyebrows at her. “I’m just making sure that everything’s going to go smoothly. We don’t want any hiccups on my first event.”
“There won’t be,” Lu Han insists. She glances at the balcony. “Here,” she continues, grabbing the clipboard, as well as other documents from her hands, and replaces it with one of the name tags. “That gentleman over there is early. Make friends.”
“There’s still so much to be done-“ Baekhyun starts to protest.
“Not really,” Kyungsoo interrupts with a shake of her head, her jet-black hair falling over her shoulder. “And if something comes up, we’ve got it under control. Zitao and Minseok are manning the registration booth.”
Baekhyun’s eyes flutter to the direction of the registration area. “Get Sehun out there and Zitao back in here,” she decides. “We can’t have two males welcoming the guests. We need some charm.”
Lu Han rolls her eyes. “It’s a seminar, but okay.” She gets up and nods towards the balcony. “You better be talking to that guy by the time I get back,” she warns before walking out of the room to talk to Zitao and Minseok.
Baekhyun sighs as she looks at the guy leaning against the railing just outside of the room. It’s not that she’s against making new friends. She’s just not really good at it, being out of practice for so long. She’d seen that guy arriving that morning. He’d arrived too early, while they were in the middle of setting the room up. He’d smiled really nicely and told them not to worry about him, that he’ll just be outside. Baekhyun thinks he wouldn’t be hard to talk to.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo squeezes Baekhyun’s hand once more. “You know Lu Han’s just trying to help.”
“I know,” Baekhyun smiles at her friend and takes a deep breath. Lu Han, as well as her other friends, always means well. She lifts up the name tag. “I guess I should give this to him then.”
Kyungsoo returns her smile. “Good luck.”
Baekhyun grips the name tag as she makes her way to the balcony. His name is Joonmyun. Kim Joonmyun. This shouldn’t be too hard, she thinks, and takes another deep breath as she slides the glass door open to step outside. He turns around at the sound and immediately smiles at her.
She holds up his name tag, a tentative smile on her face. “Just in case you forget to get it later,” she lamely explains the reason why she’s handing it to him personally. “Also,” she mentally thinks back to the list, “you’re staying in room seven and rooming with a Zhang Yixing. You may get your room key before the first session starts.”
“Thank you, uh,” Joonmyun slightly stammers. He softly laughs with uncertainty at not knowing what name to close with.
“Oh,” Baekhyun chuckles. “It’s Baekhyun.”
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun repeats with a smile, pinning his name tag to his button up. He reaches up to shake her hand. “I’m Joonmyun. It’s nice to meet you. So do you do events like this often?” he asks as they let go. He leans back on the railing.
“Well, yeah,” Baekhyun says, choosing to face the view instead of the hall because she can see Lu Han’s triumphant smirk. “This is the first event I’m handling by myself in a while, though. It’s been hard to-“ She laughs nervously. “Let’s just say I’m out of practice.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Joonmyun agrees with her, turning to face the sea as well, and somehow Baekhyun knows that Joonmyun feels the same way as she does. “Events like these are nice,” he continues with the conversation. “It’s so hard getting away sometimes.”
“The only way I get to get away is for events like this, out of town events,” Baekhyun shares. “But it is nice anyway. Even if it’s work, it’s different somehow when it’s somewhere farther away.”
“It seems we have something in common then,” Joonmyun says with a grin. Baekhyun raises her eyebrows in question. “We both can’t get away from work no matter where we go.”
Baekhyun laughs and it surprises her. It’s not a particularly good joke. It probably wasn’t even meant to be that funny, but it makes her laugh hard. This seems to surprise Joonmyun, but her laughter coaxes one out of him as well, and soon they’re both laughing hard about something that isn’t even that funny to begin with.
When the laughter is bled out of them, they look at each other and there’s a certain camaraderie there. Joonmyun smiles at her and Baekhyun smiles back without hesitation. It’s been so long since she’s laughed without reservation, much less with someone who’s practically a stranger. It’s a nice feeling and she’s suddenly grateful to Lu Han for pushing her to talk to Joonmyun.
Baekhyun glances at the glass door when someone knocks. It’s Zitao, gesturing that the other guests are arriving. She nods and turns to Joonmyun, who’s straightening up his clothes.
“The first session will start soon,” Baekhyun tells him even though he already knows this as they walk back in the hall. “You may get your room key and then choose any seat that’s comfortable for you.”
They reach the table at the back of the room. Kyungsoo hands Joonmyun his room key and Joonmyun signs beside his name for confirmation. Baekhyun is back to work mode and she scans the attendees that have already seated, counting the number in her head.
“Thank you,” Joonmyun suddenly speaks and she’s surprised that he’s still there, “for talking to me and making me laugh. I needed that.”
Baekhyun’s face warms, but she smiles. “I needed that, too,” she honestly tells him.
“I hope we get to talk again when you’re not busy with…” He gestures around vaguely. “I…it was just really nice talking to you. And I don’t mean that as a come on or-“ He cuts himself off, realizing that he’s talking too much. “Sorry. I’ll just go and sit.” He smiles awkwardly and finds himself a seat in the middle of the room.
“Well, that went better than I expected,” Lu Han sides up to her, arms crossed.
“He’s not bad looking,” Kyungsoo pipes in.
“He’s gorgeous,” Lu Han interjects. “Very handsome, if you ask me, and I wouldn’t even think twice to-.“
“Shut up you two,” Baekhyun hisses, cheeks pinking. “Go back to work.”
As the session starts, Baekhyun stands at the back and checks whether all the seats were filled, which would indicate if everyone who’s confirmed to attend is indeed present. When she’s done checking, her eyes automatically flit back to Joonmyun, who’s studiously writing in his notebook. She smiles, remembering their earlier conversation, and quietly excuses herself out of the room for a quick meeting with Sehun about the registration.
-
It’s the middle of the afternoon and everyone’s out for a break in the dining hall. Baekhyun’s seated in front, reading through the material that was presented earlier that day. There are notes on planning and designing houses and skyscrapers. She looks through the notes of the speaker and marvels at the intricacies of building various structures from scratch.
“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to pay to attend the seminar,” a voice beside her says and she almost falls off her seat in alarm. Joonmyun laughs as he takes a seat beside her.
“Technically, I’m giving the seminar so I don’t even have to pay,” Baekhyun retorts with an eye roll, forcing her heartbeat to slow down. She closes the notes, returns it to the podium in front of the room and sits back down.
“Technically, the speaker is the one giving the seminar,” Joonmyun counters, a smile peeking at the edge of his lips. When Baekhyun merely rolls her eyes once more, he goes on, “Are you interested in this stuff?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “My dad was an architect,” she says. “I’ve always thought it was fascinating how the real thing looks exactly like the drawing, how everything goes according to plan.”
“Not everything goes according to plan, though,” Joonmyun gently corrects her. Baekhyun slightly frowns at this. “Most of the time, the real thing ends up being better.” He winks and Baekhyun laughs.
“How long have you been an architect?” Baekhyun asks, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.
“Five years,” Joonmyun answers thoughtfully. “I wasn’t always sure I’d be one, though.”
“How come?” Baekhyun asks then straightens up. “I mean… you don’t have to answer that. I don’t want to pry.”
“No, it’s okay,” Joonmyun assures her. He leans back on his seat, playing with the pen on the desk. “Family business. My father’s always wanted to have my brother and I running it eventually. But I really didn’t know anything about electronics and technology, except of course, for the occasional mobile phone or laptop that I’d buy.” He chuckles. “My father eventually let me get out of it.”
“So your brother’s running the business?” she presses. He nods. “Well, that’s good then. At least you got to do what you’ve always wanted to do.”
Joonmyun gives her a small smile. “So what about you? Have you always wanted to be in events?”
“Yes,” Baekhyun answers. “Events are normally happy occasions and I like how people come to one to have fun and let go or learn, as is evident for events like this.”
“So I take it you don’t do funerals and the like,” he teases.
“Not really, no,” she agrees, laughing a little. “If I were to choose another occupation, I think I’d choose to be an architect.” Baekhyun leans back on her seat and looks at the white board and all the drawings and calculations for a structure to be stable.
“Why an architect?” Joonmyun asks curiously.
“Aside from the beautiful structures, I like it when things go according to plan,” she answers openly. “In architecture, things have to be exact so that a building is stable and doesn’t crumble to the ground. It would be nice to have something like that.”
“You plan in events, too, and I’m pretty sure things turn out the way you want them to,” he reminds her. “What’s good about it, too, is you can change things along the way, even during the event.”
“Hmm but you can’t be sure with events,” Baekhyun tells him musingly. “There are so many things that can go wrong and, more often than not, there are things that do go wrong.”
“You seem very fond of planning and exactness,” Joonmyun observes. “It’s not always what it seems to be.”
“Yes, well, flexibility isn’t all that either,” Baekhyun tells him. She laughs because their conversation had suddenly turned so serious. “It would be really nice, too, to see something I’ve built right smack in the middle of the city.”
“I should tour you around the city then and show you the buildings I’ve built,” Joonmyun proudly offers and he laughs when Baekhyun scoffs.
“It might be true what they say about architects being just like doctors or lawyers,” Baekhyun jokes. “Too pompous because of their profession.”
“I am not pompous,” Joonmyun heavily disagrees, an outraged look on his face that makes Baekhyun laugh. “I was merely saying that…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s no use. You already have this misconception of us architects embedded in you, it would be futile to even try and change it.”
Baekhyun bites her lip before blurting out, “It’s not futile.”
She knows that it appears that she means more with those words. And maybe she does. Baekhyun likes Joonmyun. It’s been a while since she’s met someone who’s made her laugh like he does, someone she hasn’t known almost all her life, someone who doesn’t know her like her current friends do. Not that she doesn’t appreciate her friends, nor is she saying that they don’t make her laugh. It’s just that she hasn’t met anyone recently who has the potential to be a good friend. She hopes it’s not wrong to want to get to know him better to see if they could actually be friends.
“I’m not saying that-” Baekhyun starts to explain her words.
“I’m glad,” Joonmyun interrupts her gently, a smile on his handsome face. “I don’t think it’s futile either.”
-
Baekhyun tiptoes out of her room, into the hallway, and to the garden. No one’s supposed to be out after 10pm, but she couldn’t sleep and figured she could at least think peacefully outside without Lu Han’s snoring in the background. She tightens her jacket around her as she finds a bench to sit on. As soon as she starts getting comfortable, she hears movement behind her, which sends her standing back up.
Joonmyun is laughing when she sees him walking towards her, hair unstyled against his forehead, wearing pajamas just like her. She almost wants to throw a rock at his face for scaring her. He takes a seat beside her, still shaking with quiet laughter. “You scare easily,” he says amusedly.
“It’s 10 o’clock at night,” she shushes him. “People aren’t supposed to be walking about.”
“I could say the same about you,” he chuckles.
“Well I’m the event organizer.” Baekhyun childishly pokes her tongue out at him.
“What are you even doing out?” he then asks, mirth still evident in his tone. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“Yeah,” she confirms. She lifts her feet up on the bench and tucks them under her. Baekhyun glances at Joonmyun, who has his arms crossed on his chest. “You?”
“I’m not used to sleeping so early,” he shares. “I normally come home after eleven and it’s only then that I eat dinner. I also work some more before I sleep so I’m normally in bed at around one or two in the morning.”
“And what time do you get up for work?” Baekhyun is somewhat dismayed at his sleeping habits. Sleeping is something that Baekhyun gets a bit worked up with because it’s something she struggles with. One really can’t sleep when she’s afraid of falling asleep and not being able to control what happens when she is. So when she meets people who have the opportunity to be able to sleep better than she does, it bothers her because she’s jealous that they have the luxury and aren’t able to use it.
“Around five,” Joonmyun answers with a smile. “I’m used to it. I like getting up early and coming home late. I like what I do,” he adds after a short pause.
Baekhyun sighs and relaxes into the seat. She rarely ever has quiet nights like this. When she gets home, she’s always on high alert because there’s always something that needs to be done. There’s always work to do, something to clean up, food to make, tabletops to clean, things to set up, which is why it’s really nice to get away.
“What’s on your mind?” Joonmyun breaks the silence.
“Nothing,” Baekhyun seems happy to say and it somewhat takes Joonmyun aback as she looks at him with some sort of peaceful smile. “Nothing for a change.”
“You really needed to get away, huh?” he says and sighs. “What I wouldn’t give for endless nights like this.”
They both stay quiet after that, just ending up enjoying the serenity of the evening, of having no worries.
-
“Congratulations!” Lu Han squeezes Baekhyun into her arms as the attendees file out of the session hall, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Zitao getting the room keys from them and ushering them out into the lobby. “Another successful event!”
“I can finally breathe easy,” Baekhyun clings onto Lu Han, who laughs.
“I think you’ve been doing that just fine,” Lu Han teases her.
“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks, confused.
“I think she means Joonmyun,” Sehun interrupts their conversation, glancing towards the doorway, where Joonmyun is waiting. “He asked to speak to you for a bit before he leaves.”
“Oh?” Baekhyun is curious as to why Joonmyun wants to speak to her as she steps out into the lobby. “Is everything okay?” she asks him. “Do you have comments or suggestions with regards to the seminar?”
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun laughs. “This isn’t about that. I was just hoping that we can get together when we’re back in the city and maybe I can show you those buildings,” he reminds her cheekily.
Baekhyun opens her mouth to answer when her mobile phone vibrates in her pocket. She fishes it out to check the message and immediately pockets it when she’s seen whom it’s from. She looks up at Joonmyun, at his expectant face and takes a small step back. She wants to be friends with Joonmyun, she really does, but she doesn’t think they can be.
“I’m not sure when I can-“ she starts to make up an excuse when Joonmyun cuts her off.
“Here’s my card,” he presses it into her palm. Baekhyun looks at it. It’s fancy and speaks so much of the kind of architect and, possibly, the kind of man Joonmyun is. Kim Joonmyun. Choi & Associates. “Like what I’ve said before, I like talking to you. So I’m giving you my number and, if you ever want to meet up to talk or anything, you may call me.” He shakes her hand. “It was really nice to meet you, Baekhyun.”
“It was nice to meet you, too,” Baekhyun faintly returns before Joonmyun is on his way.
She walks by the entrance and watches as Joonmyun gets into his black Mercedes Benz, with Zhang Yixing in the passenger seat, and drives away. The card in her hand is heavy; heavy with certain things she’s never even had the audacity to entertain before.
“Baekhyun,” she turns around at Sehun’s voice. “There’s a call for you inside. You weren’t answering your phone…” There’s a hesitance in her tone that immediately tells Baekhyun who’s on the other line.
Baekhyun pats the taller female’s cheek in assurance as she heads back into the room. As she presses the phone to her ear, she crumples Joonmyun’s card and puts it in her pocket.
-
Baekhyun doesn’t call Joonmyun. In fact, she’s been so busy with so many things that she doesn’t even think about Joonmyun at all in the three weeks that she’s been back from the seminar. She’s just been assigned to another event following the success of the recent one and she’s elated because it gives her a chance to further prove herself. Aside from that, there is much to do at home that she’s already wondering how she can manage both that and her new project.
“Baekhyun! I’m home!”
Baekhyun immediately drops what she’s doing in the kitchen, making sure to turn off the stoves, and hurries to the living room, where Kris is dumping his bag and jacket onto the couch. She instantly takes it, putting the jacket in the coat closet by the door and putting his bag on the table.
“Hi! How was your day?” Baekhyun steps up and stands on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. When she starts moving away, Kris grabs her neck and kisses her properly on the lips. She whimpers in surprise but kisses him back, placing her hands on his shoulders.
“That’s a proper kiss,” Kris tells her, a small smile on his face, and Baekhyun blushes. He takes a seat on the sofa, pulling Baekhyun down to sit beside him. “Long day,” he groans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “We had an operation that ran for almost five hours. My hands are stiff.”
Baekhyun takes his left hand and starts massaging it. “Maybe you should cut back on your hours so you can have more rest-“ she begins.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t do that?” Kris snaps, swiping his hand away, and he immediately softens when Baekhyun’s eyes widen. He sighs and wraps an arm around her, making her snuggle to him. “Sorry,” he whispers, kissing her head. “I’m just tired. How was your day?”
Baekhyun tries to breathe calmly, closing her eyes, as she rests her head more snugly on Kris’s shoulder. It’s been a while since she and Kris have spent time like this, just in each other’s arms, quiet and serene. Ever since she’s gotten back from the seminar, Kris had seemed so much sweeter to her, something she’s quite unused to.
“It was okay,” she tells him, taking his hand and massaging it again. “We’re ironing out the details for our next event.”
“What next event?” Kris drowsily asks, absently rubbing his hand up and down Baekhyun’s arm, his wedding band glinting in the light.
“The one in Jeju Island,” Baekhyun reminds him quietly. “Chanyeol asked us to be her wedding planners. It’s a weeklong event and-“ She stops talking when Kris’s arm tightens noticeably around her. She chuckles weakly. “Well, we don’t have to talk about that.” She shifts in her position on the couch. “Maybe we should get you to bed,” she softly urges him.
Kris allows Baekhyun to pull him off the couch and bring him to bed. As Kris lies there, Baekhyun silently removes Kris’s clothing so that he’ll be more comfortable in his sleep. It’s been a while since Kris has been home this early for Baekhyun to be able to take care of him like this. He normally comes home in ungodly hours, when she’s already asleep, and he fails to clean up properly before sliding up next to her. She tucks him under the sheets when he’s left in his boxers and presses a kiss to his forehead before turning to leave. There’s still dinner to cook and she knows he’ll want to eat if he wakes up.
As she turns to leave, Kris’s hand shoots out and grabs her wrist. She’s hardly able to protest before he’s pulled her on top of him. He looks at her, eyes surprisingly tender as he brushes her hair away from her face. There’s something in those eyes that Baekhyun’s never seen before so she kisses him instantly the moment he pulls her face down to his. It starts out slow, even sweet, them tasting each other’s lips, each other’s tongues in a way they’d almost forgotten how. But Baekhyun knows that’s where the sweetness and gentleness will end. Soon, he’s pushing her onto her back and his large hands are roaming all over her.
Baekhyun tries not to stiffen so conspicuously when Kris’s hands push down her underwear and squeezes her eyes shut as she prepares for his fingers to enter her. But then his hands are on her face and he’s pressing a kiss to each of her eyes in an uncharacteristic display of affection.
“You’re so tense,” he whispers to her when her eyes fly open in surprise. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” is her immediate answer. It is a startled one. But it is honest.
He leans down to kiss her again, even slower, even gentler, even more loving. And Baekhyun knows this is something weird for her to feel because Kris is her husband, but it is something new. This is something new. She and Kris have been married for quite some time now but it’s been so long ago since Kris touched her like he is afraid she is going to break. He never really seemed to care if she did before.
After an amazingly dizzying round of kissing, Baekhyun is all worked up and now she just wants Kris to touch her. He seems to sense this so he trails his kisses down to her cheek to her jaw line to her neck. His touches flitter down to the length of her torso, leaving fleeting touches that made her skin burn and yearn for more.
Daringly, she grabs both his hands and presses one to her breast and the other to the ache between her legs. He groans into their kisses, her wet warmth inviting. Kris’s fingers are long and fairly thick and, while three of them in her makes her shake with want, they are not enough.
She pulls away and makes him look at her. “I want…” she breathes stutteringly.
“What do you want?” Kris’s voice is rough with desire, something she hasn’t heard from him in a long time, something that makes Baekhyun want to do more than they usually do.
And because he knows that Baekhyun isn’t going to finish her sentence, he finishes it for her instead by showing her that he intends to make love to her.
“Kris,” she breathes desperately as he slowly enters her. He looks at her and there’s that glint in his eyes that remind her of their honeymoon, of happier days, when he’d been just as gentle. “I love you,” she tries. She tries because she was never one to give up on things, especially ones she holds most dear to her heart. She tries because Kris is her first love. She tries because she hopes that, maybe, he will continue trying for her, too, as he seems to be doing at the moment.
His eyes merely flick towards her when she says it. But he just enters her in one swift motion and she forgets she ever said it.
Later on, she wonders if he did it just to do exactly that.
-
Baekhyun has known Kris since middle school. They sat beside each other in class, lent each other pencils and erasers and copied each other’s homework, as well as woke each other up before the teacher could catch them snoozing. It was the ideal kind of friendship, as ideal as it could be between a boy and a girl. Kris has always been tall, even back then, while Baekhyun was tiny and so it had been automatic for Kris to assume responsibility as her protector. He made sure that no one even so much as touched a hair of Baekhyun if he felt they were going to hurt her or even just make fun of her. He walked her to her classes, to vocal practice and even walked her home, even if he had to sprint back to school for basketball practice. He insisted on doing this even when they reached high school, when she told him she didn’t need a bodyguard, but he did it anyway, making her roll her eyes.
She didn’t hate it, not really. She liked how Kris was around all the time. She liked how he was just one phone call away and he’d rush to her side to help her out with anything, mostly homework and shopping. She liked how she could rely on him and make her feel like she was never going to be alone.
She still clearly remembers that time during senior year when her boyfriend had unceremoniously dumped her in front of their friends after the basketball championship game. Still in shock at the turn of events (she thought their relationship was doing just fine), she’d dialed Kris’s number and told him, rather calmly, about what had happened. He managed to find her through the crowd in less than 10 minutes and, despite being high from their win, he took her home. They watched her favorite romantic comedies, ate ice cream and cuddled on the couch.
And there was one moment, one really cliché moment, when they looked at each other and, somehow, things were just different.
That was the first time they kissed.
The rest, as they say, is history. They were barely graduated from college when they got married through a judge. It was a small ceremony and Kris had whisked her away to Japan for a weekend for their honeymoon.
“Are you okay?”
Baekhyun jumps at the touch on her arm. She drops her hands to her lap, realizing that she’s been playing with her wedding ring, and looks up and sees Zitao, recovering with a smile. “Hey, of course,” she answers too hurriedly. Turning her attention back to the supplier directory in front of her, she grabs her phone and starts inputting a number.
Zitao stands there, watching Baekhyun, looking like he wants to say something comforting or maybe a comment about Kris and her relationship with him. It’s something that she’s continuously gotten from Zitao, as well as some of her other friends. Everyone always tells her that she deserves better, that she doesn’t have to stay with Kris, that she doesn’t have to put herself through this. But the thing is, she and Kris have been together for so long that she doesn’t really know what it’s like to be without him. Besides, Kris isn’t that bad. He still picks her up from work when his schedule permits it; he calls her to check on her once in a while. Maybe their relationship has changed a lot in the past couple of years, but that’s how relationships are anyway. They change, they evolve. One can’t really hold on to how things were. It’s pointless.
“This event will be good for you,” Zitao finally speaks, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder before walking away.
Baekhyun is looking forward to the event in Jeju Island as she’s been looking forward for another getaway ever since that weekend in Incheon. This time it’ll be a whole week and she finds herself excited because she hasn’t been to Jeju in years and she thinks it would be nice to spend it with friends even if they’re all going to be working.
-
“It looks amazing, guys!” Chanyeol claps her hands together and presses it to her pearled chest.
They’re standing in the middle of what looks like an Eden. There are garlands of lights hanging on the trees, looking like tiny fairies lighting the way, with flowers on the path. There’s the sound of water running from the fountains that they’d set up around the place. There’s even soft, romantic music floating about.
Chanyeol herself looks like she belongs there, with her flowing white dress and baby’s breath in her hair.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at her, while Lu Han stifles a laugh behind her hand. “I mean, we can manage here and we don’t want you risking running into Jongin. I know it’s bad luck.”
Chanyeol merely rolls her eyes. “Jongin and I have been sneaking out to see each other since this morning,” she shares, giggling. “We’re legally married anyway.” She wiggles her finger at Baekhyun and Lu Han where a simple wedding band was securely nestled.
“Why the big wedding then?” Baekhyun asks.
“Because Jongin wants it,” Chanyeol answers simply. Baekhyun looks astonished because she would think that it would be the girl who would want a big wedding. “You know I don’t care for big displays of affection,” she tells her when she sees her surprise. “But Jongin feels like he should do this for me, to show me how proud he is of me and our relationship.” She rolls her eyes but Baekhyun can tell that it pleases her.
“Must be nice,” Baekhyun comments, turning to her left and watching Kyungsoo direct Minseok and Zitao to fix the décor on one of the pillars.
Chanyeol playfully nudges her. “What are you talking about? Your wedding was really special and romantic. It was exactly how you guys wanted it.” She pauses when she notices Baekhyun avoiding Lu Han’s gaze. “Things are better now, right?”
Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Lu Han have studied in the same school since they were kids and both Chanyeol and Lu Han have both witnessed Baekhyun and Kris’s love story. They were both fans because who doesn’t like the best friends turned boyfriends and girlfriends story? However, they’ve also witnessed how the relationship turned sour. But Chanyeol’s been busy with work and Jongin and getting married that she barely knows how things are anymore.
“They’re fine,” Baekhyun assures her before Lu Han can say anything.
Chanyeol puts an arm around Baekhyun. “Everything will be fine,” she declares resolutely. “Kris loves you and you love him. That’s what matters, right?”
“You don’t go around hurting someone you love, though, don’t you?” Lu Han snaps, unable to control herself any longer. “Baekhyun, we have to talk about this sooner or later,” she insists when Baekhyun frowns at her. “You can’t keep on doing this. You have to leave him.”
“She can’t leave him!” Chanyeol looks appalled. “She’s his wife. They’re bound to be together for life, through thick and thin.”
“Not when your husband keeps on-“ Lu Han starts.
“Guys, let’s not do this here,” Baekhyun interrupts, rubbing a hand on her forehead. Or ever. “It’s Chanyeol’s wedding,” she reminds Lu Han, who sobers up. “This is a happy event.”
Chanyeol hugs them both, hugging Baekhyun longer. “I love you two,” she sincerely says. “Thank you for doing this for me.” And then she’s off back to the main cottage to get ready for the ceremony.
Baekhyun just stands there, Lu Han’s words going through her head. This has been a constant debate between them. Lu Han keeps on telling Baekhyun that it wouldn’t be wrong for her to leave Kris because of how things are between them. But Baekhyun just can’t find it in herself to justify it. She had vowed to be with Kris forever, no matter what.
“You do know that Chanyeol is also Kris’s best friend, right?” Baekhyun suddenly speaks up, still watching Kyungsoo check the place and not looking at Lu Han.
“I don’t care,” Lu Han stubbornly maintains. “Maybe it’s better that she knows so that Kris will know how badly he’s been treating you.”
“It’s not that bad,” Baekhyun defends Kris. She thinks back to how Kris has been so much sweeter when she came back from Incheon. There may be hope yet.
“Baek, I can’t believe you’re defending-“
“The guests are starting to arrive,” Minseok, looking warily from one girl to the other, arrives and interrupts their heated discussion.
Lu Han glares at Baekhyun before stalking off to receive the guests. Baekhyun sighs as she follows after her. There is definitely going to be a continuation later on.
-
It’s the middle of the wedding reception. The guests are drunk with happiness and wine. There’s dancing and everyone can only sigh with joy at the sight of the bride and groom having fun during their first dance. Baekhyun is very pleased that the event has gone on without a hitch. Not even one flower arrangement has fallen off; none of the bridesmaids has even tripped on the red carpet.
Sehun sides up to her and hands her a headset which they use to communicate while such events are going on.
“Lu Han says that you should take care of the best man speech for tonight,” she tells her.
“What?” Baekhyun asks in slight panic because Lu Han has always been in charge of guiding everyone who makes speeches during wedding receptions. She looks about the room, searching for Lu Han, and finding her talking to Minseok by the buffet table. “Did she give you a good reason why?” she grumbles, taking the headset and fitting it to her head.
Sehun merely shrugs. “She just said you’d want to,” comes her explanation. “I’m going to-“ The best man stands up and announces his speech by lightly hitting his fork to his wine glass. “-hey, isn’t that…?”
Baekhyun looks up in time to see Joonmyun, handsome in his dark suit, bowtie perfectly tied under his collar, stand up and smile.
“Oh, he’s the best man?” Sehun chokes out a laugh, realizing why Lu Han shoved speech duties to Baekhyun.
“I…” Baekhyun glances at the guest list in the folder she’s been carrying and, sure enough, a Kim Joonmyun is listed on it. She wonders why she didn’t contemplate earlier that it was this Kim Joonmyun. Sehun nudges her to speak to her headset. She clears her throat. “Can you hear me?” she asks, pressing the microphone close to her lips.
She watches as Joonmyun pauses and glances around the room as if looking for someone. Looking for her. Baekhyun makes sure to avert her eyes as she guides him through his speech. Her heart somewhat stutters in its beating every time she hears Joonmyun’s voice in her ear when she hasn’t really thought about him that much.
That’s what she tells herself anyway. Baekhyun had thrown his business card away because just the thought of calling him and meeting up with him to continue the wonderful conversations they had during the seminar had sent warning bells in her head. So she’d put herself out of danger and threw it out. It made her feel less guilty when it wasn’t in her possession anymore. Although, somehow, it also made her feel sad. Joonmyun made her laugh.
When the best man’s speech is over and everyone’s toasting, she takes the headset off and slips out of the room. But she hasn’t even taken a couple of steps away from the ballroom when there’s a hand grabbing her arm.
“I knew it was you.” Joonmyun’s hand is warm on her skin and there’s a reddish tint to his cheeks, probably from the wine. Baekhyun can’t help but think how handsome he is. “The moment you talked, I knew.”
Baekhyun only laughs in response, rather awkwardly. “Hi.”
“You never called,” Joonmyun continues, as if it isn’t obvious that Baekhyun doesn’t look discomfited about the whole conversation. “I mean…” He laughs nervously. “I waited. I really wanted to show you around and-“
“I’m married, Joonmyun,” Baekhyun interrupts him. It isn’t what she means to say but she thinks they’re the right words because it’s clear that she’s attracted to him. She wouldn’t be so worried or wouldn’t make such an effort to throw his contact details away if she isn’t. “I know that doesn’t matter because-“
“Papa!” A little boy runs up to Joonmyun and clings to his right leg.
Joonmyun crouches down at once and smiles at the child. “Hey buddy,” he greets him with a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s mama?” The little boy points at a vague direction behind him. “Okay, that’s good. Go to mama, okay? Papa will be right behind you to see you off.” He straightens up and watches his child run back to where he came from. He turns around and sees Baekhyun’s expression.
“They’re going back to Seoul tonight,” Joonmyun says uncomfortably.
“You’re-“ Baekhyun attempts to form the words in her head, but she decides it’s not important. Joonmyun is a father. Joonmyun is married. She glances down at his hand and wonders why she’s never seen his ring before. All of a sudden she feels stupid. How can she be attracted to a married man? Especially when she’s married herself. The decision suddenly seems so clear, as it should have been right from the start. She smiles politely at Joonmyun. “It was really nice to meet you, Joonmyun,” she tells him before walking away.
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun tries to call her back, but not once does Baekhyun falter in her steps.
PART 2
EXO | girl!Baekhyun/Suho | NC-17 | 32k~
Romance, Angst
Two halves do not always make a whole.
Warnings: Please take these seriously. [Click]Themes of adultery, abuse, rape, non-consensual sex, battery. Also, girl!EXO.
Par Amor
Baekhyun goes through her checklist, black pen on hand, as she moves down the hallway to make sure that all the rooms are in order. Lu Han, who’s walking beside her with her own checklist on hand, rattles off the room assignments from perfect memory. Baekhyun peeks into one of the rooms, glancing at the neat bed by the wall, the clean bathroom, as well as the vanity mirror. She quickly takes in her slightly disheveled appearance and runs a hand down her brown locks to smooth down some tangles.
“Are we sure that there’s hot water, no clogged toilets or drainages?” Baekhyun asks, leaving the room and moving towards the lobby. “Also, we have to have instructions on how to work the hot water.” She puts a tiny note right beside room arrangements.
“Done and done,” Lu Han swiftly responds. “Kyungsoo has made sure that each room has a perfectly working bathroom. We’ve also made sure that bathrooms near the session hall are working perfectly.”
They reach the session hall where the seminar they’re preparing for is going to be held. Baekhyun eyes the tables seamlessly placed in orderly rows and columns, each with a notebook and pen on them.
“Name tags?” Baekhyun then asks as they approach the service table at the back of the room, where their teammates are.
“All in order,” Kyungsoo pipes in, looking up from her seat. She reaches out a hand and squeezes Baekhyun’s. “Everything’s going to be fine. Don’t worry so much.”
“I’m not worried,” Baekhyun immediately corrects her. “I’m not,” she repeats when both Lu Han and Kyungsoo raise their eyebrows at her. “I’m just making sure that everything’s going to go smoothly. We don’t want any hiccups on my first event.”
“There won’t be,” Lu Han insists. She glances at the balcony. “Here,” she continues, grabbing the clipboard, as well as other documents from her hands, and replaces it with one of the name tags. “That gentleman over there is early. Make friends.”
“There’s still so much to be done-“ Baekhyun starts to protest.
“Not really,” Kyungsoo interrupts with a shake of her head, her jet-black hair falling over her shoulder. “And if something comes up, we’ve got it under control. Zitao and Minseok are manning the registration booth.”
Baekhyun’s eyes flutter to the direction of the registration area. “Get Sehun out there and Zitao back in here,” she decides. “We can’t have two males welcoming the guests. We need some charm.”
Lu Han rolls her eyes. “It’s a seminar, but okay.” She gets up and nods towards the balcony. “You better be talking to that guy by the time I get back,” she warns before walking out of the room to talk to Zitao and Minseok.
Baekhyun sighs as she looks at the guy leaning against the railing just outside of the room. It’s not that she’s against making new friends. She’s just not really good at it, being out of practice for so long. She’d seen that guy arriving that morning. He’d arrived too early, while they were in the middle of setting the room up. He’d smiled really nicely and told them not to worry about him, that he’ll just be outside. Baekhyun thinks he wouldn’t be hard to talk to.
“Hey,” Kyungsoo squeezes Baekhyun’s hand once more. “You know Lu Han’s just trying to help.”
“I know,” Baekhyun smiles at her friend and takes a deep breath. Lu Han, as well as her other friends, always means well. She lifts up the name tag. “I guess I should give this to him then.”
Kyungsoo returns her smile. “Good luck.”
Baekhyun grips the name tag as she makes her way to the balcony. His name is Joonmyun. Kim Joonmyun. This shouldn’t be too hard, she thinks, and takes another deep breath as she slides the glass door open to step outside. He turns around at the sound and immediately smiles at her.
She holds up his name tag, a tentative smile on her face. “Just in case you forget to get it later,” she lamely explains the reason why she’s handing it to him personally. “Also,” she mentally thinks back to the list, “you’re staying in room seven and rooming with a Zhang Yixing. You may get your room key before the first session starts.”
“Thank you, uh,” Joonmyun slightly stammers. He softly laughs with uncertainty at not knowing what name to close with.
“Oh,” Baekhyun chuckles. “It’s Baekhyun.”
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun repeats with a smile, pinning his name tag to his button up. He reaches up to shake her hand. “I’m Joonmyun. It’s nice to meet you. So do you do events like this often?” he asks as they let go. He leans back on the railing.
“Well, yeah,” Baekhyun says, choosing to face the view instead of the hall because she can see Lu Han’s triumphant smirk. “This is the first event I’m handling by myself in a while, though. It’s been hard to-“ She laughs nervously. “Let’s just say I’m out of practice.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” Joonmyun agrees with her, turning to face the sea as well, and somehow Baekhyun knows that Joonmyun feels the same way as she does. “Events like these are nice,” he continues with the conversation. “It’s so hard getting away sometimes.”
“The only way I get to get away is for events like this, out of town events,” Baekhyun shares. “But it is nice anyway. Even if it’s work, it’s different somehow when it’s somewhere farther away.”
“It seems we have something in common then,” Joonmyun says with a grin. Baekhyun raises her eyebrows in question. “We both can’t get away from work no matter where we go.”
Baekhyun laughs and it surprises her. It’s not a particularly good joke. It probably wasn’t even meant to be that funny, but it makes her laugh hard. This seems to surprise Joonmyun, but her laughter coaxes one out of him as well, and soon they’re both laughing hard about something that isn’t even that funny to begin with.
When the laughter is bled out of them, they look at each other and there’s a certain camaraderie there. Joonmyun smiles at her and Baekhyun smiles back without hesitation. It’s been so long since she’s laughed without reservation, much less with someone who’s practically a stranger. It’s a nice feeling and she’s suddenly grateful to Lu Han for pushing her to talk to Joonmyun.
Baekhyun glances at the glass door when someone knocks. It’s Zitao, gesturing that the other guests are arriving. She nods and turns to Joonmyun, who’s straightening up his clothes.
“The first session will start soon,” Baekhyun tells him even though he already knows this as they walk back in the hall. “You may get your room key and then choose any seat that’s comfortable for you.”
They reach the table at the back of the room. Kyungsoo hands Joonmyun his room key and Joonmyun signs beside his name for confirmation. Baekhyun is back to work mode and she scans the attendees that have already seated, counting the number in her head.
“Thank you,” Joonmyun suddenly speaks and she’s surprised that he’s still there, “for talking to me and making me laugh. I needed that.”
Baekhyun’s face warms, but she smiles. “I needed that, too,” she honestly tells him.
“I hope we get to talk again when you’re not busy with…” He gestures around vaguely. “I…it was just really nice talking to you. And I don’t mean that as a come on or-“ He cuts himself off, realizing that he’s talking too much. “Sorry. I’ll just go and sit.” He smiles awkwardly and finds himself a seat in the middle of the room.
“Well, that went better than I expected,” Lu Han sides up to her, arms crossed.
“He’s not bad looking,” Kyungsoo pipes in.
“He’s gorgeous,” Lu Han interjects. “Very handsome, if you ask me, and I wouldn’t even think twice to-.“
“Shut up you two,” Baekhyun hisses, cheeks pinking. “Go back to work.”
As the session starts, Baekhyun stands at the back and checks whether all the seats were filled, which would indicate if everyone who’s confirmed to attend is indeed present. When she’s done checking, her eyes automatically flit back to Joonmyun, who’s studiously writing in his notebook. She smiles, remembering their earlier conversation, and quietly excuses herself out of the room for a quick meeting with Sehun about the registration.
-
It’s the middle of the afternoon and everyone’s out for a break in the dining hall. Baekhyun’s seated in front, reading through the material that was presented earlier that day. There are notes on planning and designing houses and skyscrapers. She looks through the notes of the speaker and marvels at the intricacies of building various structures from scratch.
“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to pay to attend the seminar,” a voice beside her says and she almost falls off her seat in alarm. Joonmyun laughs as he takes a seat beside her.
“Technically, I’m giving the seminar so I don’t even have to pay,” Baekhyun retorts with an eye roll, forcing her heartbeat to slow down. She closes the notes, returns it to the podium in front of the room and sits back down.
“Technically, the speaker is the one giving the seminar,” Joonmyun counters, a smile peeking at the edge of his lips. When Baekhyun merely rolls her eyes once more, he goes on, “Are you interested in this stuff?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “My dad was an architect,” she says. “I’ve always thought it was fascinating how the real thing looks exactly like the drawing, how everything goes according to plan.”
“Not everything goes according to plan, though,” Joonmyun gently corrects her. Baekhyun slightly frowns at this. “Most of the time, the real thing ends up being better.” He winks and Baekhyun laughs.
“How long have you been an architect?” Baekhyun asks, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.
“Five years,” Joonmyun answers thoughtfully. “I wasn’t always sure I’d be one, though.”
“How come?” Baekhyun asks then straightens up. “I mean… you don’t have to answer that. I don’t want to pry.”
“No, it’s okay,” Joonmyun assures her. He leans back on his seat, playing with the pen on the desk. “Family business. My father’s always wanted to have my brother and I running it eventually. But I really didn’t know anything about electronics and technology, except of course, for the occasional mobile phone or laptop that I’d buy.” He chuckles. “My father eventually let me get out of it.”
“So your brother’s running the business?” she presses. He nods. “Well, that’s good then. At least you got to do what you’ve always wanted to do.”
Joonmyun gives her a small smile. “So what about you? Have you always wanted to be in events?”
“Yes,” Baekhyun answers. “Events are normally happy occasions and I like how people come to one to have fun and let go or learn, as is evident for events like this.”
“So I take it you don’t do funerals and the like,” he teases.
“Not really, no,” she agrees, laughing a little. “If I were to choose another occupation, I think I’d choose to be an architect.” Baekhyun leans back on her seat and looks at the white board and all the drawings and calculations for a structure to be stable.
“Why an architect?” Joonmyun asks curiously.
“Aside from the beautiful structures, I like it when things go according to plan,” she answers openly. “In architecture, things have to be exact so that a building is stable and doesn’t crumble to the ground. It would be nice to have something like that.”
“You plan in events, too, and I’m pretty sure things turn out the way you want them to,” he reminds her. “What’s good about it, too, is you can change things along the way, even during the event.”
“Hmm but you can’t be sure with events,” Baekhyun tells him musingly. “There are so many things that can go wrong and, more often than not, there are things that do go wrong.”
“You seem very fond of planning and exactness,” Joonmyun observes. “It’s not always what it seems to be.”
“Yes, well, flexibility isn’t all that either,” Baekhyun tells him. She laughs because their conversation had suddenly turned so serious. “It would be really nice, too, to see something I’ve built right smack in the middle of the city.”
“I should tour you around the city then and show you the buildings I’ve built,” Joonmyun proudly offers and he laughs when Baekhyun scoffs.
“It might be true what they say about architects being just like doctors or lawyers,” Baekhyun jokes. “Too pompous because of their profession.”
“I am not pompous,” Joonmyun heavily disagrees, an outraged look on his face that makes Baekhyun laugh. “I was merely saying that…” He sighs and shakes his head. “It’s no use. You already have this misconception of us architects embedded in you, it would be futile to even try and change it.”
Baekhyun bites her lip before blurting out, “It’s not futile.”
She knows that it appears that she means more with those words. And maybe she does. Baekhyun likes Joonmyun. It’s been a while since she’s met someone who’s made her laugh like he does, someone she hasn’t known almost all her life, someone who doesn’t know her like her current friends do. Not that she doesn’t appreciate her friends, nor is she saying that they don’t make her laugh. It’s just that she hasn’t met anyone recently who has the potential to be a good friend. She hopes it’s not wrong to want to get to know him better to see if they could actually be friends.
“I’m not saying that-” Baekhyun starts to explain her words.
“I’m glad,” Joonmyun interrupts her gently, a smile on his handsome face. “I don’t think it’s futile either.”
-
Baekhyun tiptoes out of her room, into the hallway, and to the garden. No one’s supposed to be out after 10pm, but she couldn’t sleep and figured she could at least think peacefully outside without Lu Han’s snoring in the background. She tightens her jacket around her as she finds a bench to sit on. As soon as she starts getting comfortable, she hears movement behind her, which sends her standing back up.
Joonmyun is laughing when she sees him walking towards her, hair unstyled against his forehead, wearing pajamas just like her. She almost wants to throw a rock at his face for scaring her. He takes a seat beside her, still shaking with quiet laughter. “You scare easily,” he says amusedly.
“It’s 10 o’clock at night,” she shushes him. “People aren’t supposed to be walking about.”
“I could say the same about you,” he chuckles.
“Well I’m the event organizer.” Baekhyun childishly pokes her tongue out at him.
“What are you even doing out?” he then asks, mirth still evident in his tone. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“Yeah,” she confirms. She lifts her feet up on the bench and tucks them under her. Baekhyun glances at Joonmyun, who has his arms crossed on his chest. “You?”
“I’m not used to sleeping so early,” he shares. “I normally come home after eleven and it’s only then that I eat dinner. I also work some more before I sleep so I’m normally in bed at around one or two in the morning.”
“And what time do you get up for work?” Baekhyun is somewhat dismayed at his sleeping habits. Sleeping is something that Baekhyun gets a bit worked up with because it’s something she struggles with. One really can’t sleep when she’s afraid of falling asleep and not being able to control what happens when she is. So when she meets people who have the opportunity to be able to sleep better than she does, it bothers her because she’s jealous that they have the luxury and aren’t able to use it.
“Around five,” Joonmyun answers with a smile. “I’m used to it. I like getting up early and coming home late. I like what I do,” he adds after a short pause.
Baekhyun sighs and relaxes into the seat. She rarely ever has quiet nights like this. When she gets home, she’s always on high alert because there’s always something that needs to be done. There’s always work to do, something to clean up, food to make, tabletops to clean, things to set up, which is why it’s really nice to get away.
“What’s on your mind?” Joonmyun breaks the silence.
“Nothing,” Baekhyun seems happy to say and it somewhat takes Joonmyun aback as she looks at him with some sort of peaceful smile. “Nothing for a change.”
“You really needed to get away, huh?” he says and sighs. “What I wouldn’t give for endless nights like this.”
They both stay quiet after that, just ending up enjoying the serenity of the evening, of having no worries.
-
“Congratulations!” Lu Han squeezes Baekhyun into her arms as the attendees file out of the session hall, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Zitao getting the room keys from them and ushering them out into the lobby. “Another successful event!”
“I can finally breathe easy,” Baekhyun clings onto Lu Han, who laughs.
“I think you’ve been doing that just fine,” Lu Han teases her.
“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks, confused.
“I think she means Joonmyun,” Sehun interrupts their conversation, glancing towards the doorway, where Joonmyun is waiting. “He asked to speak to you for a bit before he leaves.”
“Oh?” Baekhyun is curious as to why Joonmyun wants to speak to her as she steps out into the lobby. “Is everything okay?” she asks him. “Do you have comments or suggestions with regards to the seminar?”
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun laughs. “This isn’t about that. I was just hoping that we can get together when we’re back in the city and maybe I can show you those buildings,” he reminds her cheekily.
Baekhyun opens her mouth to answer when her mobile phone vibrates in her pocket. She fishes it out to check the message and immediately pockets it when she’s seen whom it’s from. She looks up at Joonmyun, at his expectant face and takes a small step back. She wants to be friends with Joonmyun, she really does, but she doesn’t think they can be.
“I’m not sure when I can-“ she starts to make up an excuse when Joonmyun cuts her off.
“Here’s my card,” he presses it into her palm. Baekhyun looks at it. It’s fancy and speaks so much of the kind of architect and, possibly, the kind of man Joonmyun is. Kim Joonmyun. Choi & Associates. “Like what I’ve said before, I like talking to you. So I’m giving you my number and, if you ever want to meet up to talk or anything, you may call me.” He shakes her hand. “It was really nice to meet you, Baekhyun.”
“It was nice to meet you, too,” Baekhyun faintly returns before Joonmyun is on his way.
She walks by the entrance and watches as Joonmyun gets into his black Mercedes Benz, with Zhang Yixing in the passenger seat, and drives away. The card in her hand is heavy; heavy with certain things she’s never even had the audacity to entertain before.
“Baekhyun,” she turns around at Sehun’s voice. “There’s a call for you inside. You weren’t answering your phone…” There’s a hesitance in her tone that immediately tells Baekhyun who’s on the other line.
Baekhyun pats the taller female’s cheek in assurance as she heads back into the room. As she presses the phone to her ear, she crumples Joonmyun’s card and puts it in her pocket.
-
Baekhyun doesn’t call Joonmyun. In fact, she’s been so busy with so many things that she doesn’t even think about Joonmyun at all in the three weeks that she’s been back from the seminar. She’s just been assigned to another event following the success of the recent one and she’s elated because it gives her a chance to further prove herself. Aside from that, there is much to do at home that she’s already wondering how she can manage both that and her new project.
“Baekhyun! I’m home!”
Baekhyun immediately drops what she’s doing in the kitchen, making sure to turn off the stoves, and hurries to the living room, where Kris is dumping his bag and jacket onto the couch. She instantly takes it, putting the jacket in the coat closet by the door and putting his bag on the table.
“Hi! How was your day?” Baekhyun steps up and stands on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. When she starts moving away, Kris grabs her neck and kisses her properly on the lips. She whimpers in surprise but kisses him back, placing her hands on his shoulders.
“That’s a proper kiss,” Kris tells her, a small smile on his face, and Baekhyun blushes. He takes a seat on the sofa, pulling Baekhyun down to sit beside him. “Long day,” he groans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “We had an operation that ran for almost five hours. My hands are stiff.”
Baekhyun takes his left hand and starts massaging it. “Maybe you should cut back on your hours so you can have more rest-“ she begins.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t do that?” Kris snaps, swiping his hand away, and he immediately softens when Baekhyun’s eyes widen. He sighs and wraps an arm around her, making her snuggle to him. “Sorry,” he whispers, kissing her head. “I’m just tired. How was your day?”
Baekhyun tries to breathe calmly, closing her eyes, as she rests her head more snugly on Kris’s shoulder. It’s been a while since she and Kris have spent time like this, just in each other’s arms, quiet and serene. Ever since she’s gotten back from the seminar, Kris had seemed so much sweeter to her, something she’s quite unused to.
“It was okay,” she tells him, taking his hand and massaging it again. “We’re ironing out the details for our next event.”
“What next event?” Kris drowsily asks, absently rubbing his hand up and down Baekhyun’s arm, his wedding band glinting in the light.
“The one in Jeju Island,” Baekhyun reminds him quietly. “Chanyeol asked us to be her wedding planners. It’s a weeklong event and-“ She stops talking when Kris’s arm tightens noticeably around her. She chuckles weakly. “Well, we don’t have to talk about that.” She shifts in her position on the couch. “Maybe we should get you to bed,” she softly urges him.
Kris allows Baekhyun to pull him off the couch and bring him to bed. As Kris lies there, Baekhyun silently removes Kris’s clothing so that he’ll be more comfortable in his sleep. It’s been a while since Kris has been home this early for Baekhyun to be able to take care of him like this. He normally comes home in ungodly hours, when she’s already asleep, and he fails to clean up properly before sliding up next to her. She tucks him under the sheets when he’s left in his boxers and presses a kiss to his forehead before turning to leave. There’s still dinner to cook and she knows he’ll want to eat if he wakes up.
As she turns to leave, Kris’s hand shoots out and grabs her wrist. She’s hardly able to protest before he’s pulled her on top of him. He looks at her, eyes surprisingly tender as he brushes her hair away from her face. There’s something in those eyes that Baekhyun’s never seen before so she kisses him instantly the moment he pulls her face down to his. It starts out slow, even sweet, them tasting each other’s lips, each other’s tongues in a way they’d almost forgotten how. But Baekhyun knows that’s where the sweetness and gentleness will end. Soon, he’s pushing her onto her back and his large hands are roaming all over her.
Baekhyun tries not to stiffen so conspicuously when Kris’s hands push down her underwear and squeezes her eyes shut as she prepares for his fingers to enter her. But then his hands are on her face and he’s pressing a kiss to each of her eyes in an uncharacteristic display of affection.
“You’re so tense,” he whispers to her when her eyes fly open in surprise. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” is her immediate answer. It is a startled one. But it is honest.
He leans down to kiss her again, even slower, even gentler, even more loving. And Baekhyun knows this is something weird for her to feel because Kris is her husband, but it is something new. This is something new. She and Kris have been married for quite some time now but it’s been so long ago since Kris touched her like he is afraid she is going to break. He never really seemed to care if she did before.
After an amazingly dizzying round of kissing, Baekhyun is all worked up and now she just wants Kris to touch her. He seems to sense this so he trails his kisses down to her cheek to her jaw line to her neck. His touches flitter down to the length of her torso, leaving fleeting touches that made her skin burn and yearn for more.
Daringly, she grabs both his hands and presses one to her breast and the other to the ache between her legs. He groans into their kisses, her wet warmth inviting. Kris’s fingers are long and fairly thick and, while three of them in her makes her shake with want, they are not enough.
She pulls away and makes him look at her. “I want…” she breathes stutteringly.
“What do you want?” Kris’s voice is rough with desire, something she hasn’t heard from him in a long time, something that makes Baekhyun want to do more than they usually do.
And because he knows that Baekhyun isn’t going to finish her sentence, he finishes it for her instead by showing her that he intends to make love to her.
“Kris,” she breathes desperately as he slowly enters her. He looks at her and there’s that glint in his eyes that remind her of their honeymoon, of happier days, when he’d been just as gentle. “I love you,” she tries. She tries because she was never one to give up on things, especially ones she holds most dear to her heart. She tries because Kris is her first love. She tries because she hopes that, maybe, he will continue trying for her, too, as he seems to be doing at the moment.
His eyes merely flick towards her when she says it. But he just enters her in one swift motion and she forgets she ever said it.
Later on, she wonders if he did it just to do exactly that.
-
Baekhyun has known Kris since middle school. They sat beside each other in class, lent each other pencils and erasers and copied each other’s homework, as well as woke each other up before the teacher could catch them snoozing. It was the ideal kind of friendship, as ideal as it could be between a boy and a girl. Kris has always been tall, even back then, while Baekhyun was tiny and so it had been automatic for Kris to assume responsibility as her protector. He made sure that no one even so much as touched a hair of Baekhyun if he felt they were going to hurt her or even just make fun of her. He walked her to her classes, to vocal practice and even walked her home, even if he had to sprint back to school for basketball practice. He insisted on doing this even when they reached high school, when she told him she didn’t need a bodyguard, but he did it anyway, making her roll her eyes.
She didn’t hate it, not really. She liked how Kris was around all the time. She liked how he was just one phone call away and he’d rush to her side to help her out with anything, mostly homework and shopping. She liked how she could rely on him and make her feel like she was never going to be alone.
She still clearly remembers that time during senior year when her boyfriend had unceremoniously dumped her in front of their friends after the basketball championship game. Still in shock at the turn of events (she thought their relationship was doing just fine), she’d dialed Kris’s number and told him, rather calmly, about what had happened. He managed to find her through the crowd in less than 10 minutes and, despite being high from their win, he took her home. They watched her favorite romantic comedies, ate ice cream and cuddled on the couch.
And there was one moment, one really cliché moment, when they looked at each other and, somehow, things were just different.
That was the first time they kissed.
The rest, as they say, is history. They were barely graduated from college when they got married through a judge. It was a small ceremony and Kris had whisked her away to Japan for a weekend for their honeymoon.
“Are you okay?”
Baekhyun jumps at the touch on her arm. She drops her hands to her lap, realizing that she’s been playing with her wedding ring, and looks up and sees Zitao, recovering with a smile. “Hey, of course,” she answers too hurriedly. Turning her attention back to the supplier directory in front of her, she grabs her phone and starts inputting a number.
Zitao stands there, watching Baekhyun, looking like he wants to say something comforting or maybe a comment about Kris and her relationship with him. It’s something that she’s continuously gotten from Zitao, as well as some of her other friends. Everyone always tells her that she deserves better, that she doesn’t have to stay with Kris, that she doesn’t have to put herself through this. But the thing is, she and Kris have been together for so long that she doesn’t really know what it’s like to be without him. Besides, Kris isn’t that bad. He still picks her up from work when his schedule permits it; he calls her to check on her once in a while. Maybe their relationship has changed a lot in the past couple of years, but that’s how relationships are anyway. They change, they evolve. One can’t really hold on to how things were. It’s pointless.
“This event will be good for you,” Zitao finally speaks, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder before walking away.
Baekhyun is looking forward to the event in Jeju Island as she’s been looking forward for another getaway ever since that weekend in Incheon. This time it’ll be a whole week and she finds herself excited because she hasn’t been to Jeju in years and she thinks it would be nice to spend it with friends even if they’re all going to be working.
-
“It looks amazing, guys!” Chanyeol claps her hands together and presses it to her pearled chest.
They’re standing in the middle of what looks like an Eden. There are garlands of lights hanging on the trees, looking like tiny fairies lighting the way, with flowers on the path. There’s the sound of water running from the fountains that they’d set up around the place. There’s even soft, romantic music floating about.
Chanyeol herself looks like she belongs there, with her flowing white dress and baby’s breath in her hair.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at her, while Lu Han stifles a laugh behind her hand. “I mean, we can manage here and we don’t want you risking running into Jongin. I know it’s bad luck.”
Chanyeol merely rolls her eyes. “Jongin and I have been sneaking out to see each other since this morning,” she shares, giggling. “We’re legally married anyway.” She wiggles her finger at Baekhyun and Lu Han where a simple wedding band was securely nestled.
“Why the big wedding then?” Baekhyun asks.
“Because Jongin wants it,” Chanyeol answers simply. Baekhyun looks astonished because she would think that it would be the girl who would want a big wedding. “You know I don’t care for big displays of affection,” she tells her when she sees her surprise. “But Jongin feels like he should do this for me, to show me how proud he is of me and our relationship.” She rolls her eyes but Baekhyun can tell that it pleases her.
“Must be nice,” Baekhyun comments, turning to her left and watching Kyungsoo direct Minseok and Zitao to fix the décor on one of the pillars.
Chanyeol playfully nudges her. “What are you talking about? Your wedding was really special and romantic. It was exactly how you guys wanted it.” She pauses when she notices Baekhyun avoiding Lu Han’s gaze. “Things are better now, right?”
Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Lu Han have studied in the same school since they were kids and both Chanyeol and Lu Han have both witnessed Baekhyun and Kris’s love story. They were both fans because who doesn’t like the best friends turned boyfriends and girlfriends story? However, they’ve also witnessed how the relationship turned sour. But Chanyeol’s been busy with work and Jongin and getting married that she barely knows how things are anymore.
“They’re fine,” Baekhyun assures her before Lu Han can say anything.
Chanyeol puts an arm around Baekhyun. “Everything will be fine,” she declares resolutely. “Kris loves you and you love him. That’s what matters, right?”
“You don’t go around hurting someone you love, though, don’t you?” Lu Han snaps, unable to control herself any longer. “Baekhyun, we have to talk about this sooner or later,” she insists when Baekhyun frowns at her. “You can’t keep on doing this. You have to leave him.”
“She can’t leave him!” Chanyeol looks appalled. “She’s his wife. They’re bound to be together for life, through thick and thin.”
“Not when your husband keeps on-“ Lu Han starts.
“Guys, let’s not do this here,” Baekhyun interrupts, rubbing a hand on her forehead. Or ever. “It’s Chanyeol’s wedding,” she reminds Lu Han, who sobers up. “This is a happy event.”
Chanyeol hugs them both, hugging Baekhyun longer. “I love you two,” she sincerely says. “Thank you for doing this for me.” And then she’s off back to the main cottage to get ready for the ceremony.
Baekhyun just stands there, Lu Han’s words going through her head. This has been a constant debate between them. Lu Han keeps on telling Baekhyun that it wouldn’t be wrong for her to leave Kris because of how things are between them. But Baekhyun just can’t find it in herself to justify it. She had vowed to be with Kris forever, no matter what.
“You do know that Chanyeol is also Kris’s best friend, right?” Baekhyun suddenly speaks up, still watching Kyungsoo check the place and not looking at Lu Han.
“I don’t care,” Lu Han stubbornly maintains. “Maybe it’s better that she knows so that Kris will know how badly he’s been treating you.”
“It’s not that bad,” Baekhyun defends Kris. She thinks back to how Kris has been so much sweeter when she came back from Incheon. There may be hope yet.
“Baek, I can’t believe you’re defending-“
“The guests are starting to arrive,” Minseok, looking warily from one girl to the other, arrives and interrupts their heated discussion.
Lu Han glares at Baekhyun before stalking off to receive the guests. Baekhyun sighs as she follows after her. There is definitely going to be a continuation later on.
-
It’s the middle of the wedding reception. The guests are drunk with happiness and wine. There’s dancing and everyone can only sigh with joy at the sight of the bride and groom having fun during their first dance. Baekhyun is very pleased that the event has gone on without a hitch. Not even one flower arrangement has fallen off; none of the bridesmaids has even tripped on the red carpet.
Sehun sides up to her and hands her a headset which they use to communicate while such events are going on.
“Lu Han says that you should take care of the best man speech for tonight,” she tells her.
“What?” Baekhyun asks in slight panic because Lu Han has always been in charge of guiding everyone who makes speeches during wedding receptions. She looks about the room, searching for Lu Han, and finding her talking to Minseok by the buffet table. “Did she give you a good reason why?” she grumbles, taking the headset and fitting it to her head.
Sehun merely shrugs. “She just said you’d want to,” comes her explanation. “I’m going to-“ The best man stands up and announces his speech by lightly hitting his fork to his wine glass. “-hey, isn’t that…?”
Baekhyun looks up in time to see Joonmyun, handsome in his dark suit, bowtie perfectly tied under his collar, stand up and smile.
“Oh, he’s the best man?” Sehun chokes out a laugh, realizing why Lu Han shoved speech duties to Baekhyun.
“I…” Baekhyun glances at the guest list in the folder she’s been carrying and, sure enough, a Kim Joonmyun is listed on it. She wonders why she didn’t contemplate earlier that it was this Kim Joonmyun. Sehun nudges her to speak to her headset. She clears her throat. “Can you hear me?” she asks, pressing the microphone close to her lips.
She watches as Joonmyun pauses and glances around the room as if looking for someone. Looking for her. Baekhyun makes sure to avert her eyes as she guides him through his speech. Her heart somewhat stutters in its beating every time she hears Joonmyun’s voice in her ear when she hasn’t really thought about him that much.
That’s what she tells herself anyway. Baekhyun had thrown his business card away because just the thought of calling him and meeting up with him to continue the wonderful conversations they had during the seminar had sent warning bells in her head. So she’d put herself out of danger and threw it out. It made her feel less guilty when it wasn’t in her possession anymore. Although, somehow, it also made her feel sad. Joonmyun made her laugh.
When the best man’s speech is over and everyone’s toasting, she takes the headset off and slips out of the room. But she hasn’t even taken a couple of steps away from the ballroom when there’s a hand grabbing her arm.
“I knew it was you.” Joonmyun’s hand is warm on her skin and there’s a reddish tint to his cheeks, probably from the wine. Baekhyun can’t help but think how handsome he is. “The moment you talked, I knew.”
Baekhyun only laughs in response, rather awkwardly. “Hi.”
“You never called,” Joonmyun continues, as if it isn’t obvious that Baekhyun doesn’t look discomfited about the whole conversation. “I mean…” He laughs nervously. “I waited. I really wanted to show you around and-“
“I’m married, Joonmyun,” Baekhyun interrupts him. It isn’t what she means to say but she thinks they’re the right words because it’s clear that she’s attracted to him. She wouldn’t be so worried or wouldn’t make such an effort to throw his contact details away if she isn’t. “I know that doesn’t matter because-“
“Papa!” A little boy runs up to Joonmyun and clings to his right leg.
Joonmyun crouches down at once and smiles at the child. “Hey buddy,” he greets him with a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s mama?” The little boy points at a vague direction behind him. “Okay, that’s good. Go to mama, okay? Papa will be right behind you to see you off.” He straightens up and watches his child run back to where he came from. He turns around and sees Baekhyun’s expression.
“They’re going back to Seoul tonight,” Joonmyun says uncomfortably.
“You’re-“ Baekhyun attempts to form the words in her head, but she decides it’s not important. Joonmyun is a father. Joonmyun is married. She glances down at his hand and wonders why she’s never seen his ring before. All of a sudden she feels stupid. How can she be attracted to a married man? Especially when she’s married herself. The decision suddenly seems so clear, as it should have been right from the start. She smiles politely at Joonmyun. “It was really nice to meet you, Joonmyun,” she tells him before walking away.
“Baekhyun,” Joonmyun tries to call her back, but not once does Baekhyun falter in her steps.
PART 2