Chances Are [Chanyeol/Baekhyun]
Chances Are
EXO | Chanyeol/Baekhyun | PG-13 | 9,838w
Romance, Slight angst
Chanyeol tries to get Baekhyun back.
Note: Sequel to When Chances Fade. This can be read alone, but it would be better if you read that first. :)
Chances Are
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sehun asks, watching with an irksome face as Chanyeol puts lots of packing tape on a box labeled Chanyeol’s crap that he’s bequeathing to Sehun.
“Never been more sure of anything in my life,” Chanyeol answers resolutely, stuffing the packing tape in the toolbox Minseok let him borrow.
He stands and looks around the living room, practically empty, save for some packed boxes. Jongin, Kyungsoo and Yixing had hauled off the rest of the furniture out the other day, the rest of the boys fighting over who gets what and putting it into their respective apartments.
It took him a while, but he’s finally come to this decision and he’s pretty firm with himself that he’ll stick with it no matter what, no matter how hard and painful it is. It’s something he should have done the moment that he-
“Are you even going to say goodbye to Kris?” Sehun interrupts his thoughts from where he’s sitting on the box of crap being bestowed upon him.
Chanyeol takes a really deep breath that when he exhales his bangs fly off his forehead. “He’s seeing me off,” he explains rather uncomfortably. He turns and starts moving the boxes towards one corner so if any possible tenants come in, the place wouldn’t look too messy and even seem slightly attractive.
This apartment is great, Chanyeol can’t help but think. Sure some parts of the ceiling are leaking and the wallpapers are frayed at the edges and there might be some rat infestation going on… Still, it’s the apartment he bought with his first paycheck in EXO’s third year. It’s one where Joonmyun sometimes liked to crash in when he got annoyed with Sehun not listening to him enough. Strangely enough, it’s also where Sehun liked to crash when Joonmyun’s nagging got too grating on his nerves. It’s where he managed to cook his first meal and not burn anything, where Jongdae even gave him a slight approving look for his efforts. It’s where Lu Han drunk dialed Minseok and told him that his cheeks were a sin to humankind. It’s home and Chanyeol thinks he wouldn’t trade this apartment for anything else.
“I don’t get how you managed to escape his wrath,” Sehun muses. “Like I know Kris is calm a lot of the time and he’s incredibly patient. I mean, he did live through years of living with Jongdae and Lu Han in one roof. But this… no one is this okay with anything-“
“He broke up with me, okay,” Chanyeol cuts him off, sparing him a warning look.
Sehun raises his hands in front of him in mock surrender. “But why did he?” he presses. “I mean, you’ve been engaged for six months and he seemed very excited about the wedding.” When Chanyeol merely sighs, he makes a face. “Fine, don’t tell me anything.” He pouts and crosses his arms on his chest.
Chanyeol ignores him. “I guess that’s it,” he announces as he makes sure that he hasn’t left anything unboxed.
Sehun gets up from the box he’s sitting on. “You do know that I’m just going to throw this crap away, right?” he says seriously. “I doubt you’re even coming back for them.” Suddenly, he grabs Chanyeol’s arm. “Hey, when are you coming back?”
Chanyeol hesitates because he doesn’t know the answer to that question. All he’s done was book a one way ticket to Rome because he hasn’t really sat down and thought about what he was going to do after he gets there, much less when he’ll be coming home.
“If you don’t come back, I’m going to…” Sehun trails away, realizing that he has no leverage over him. He frowns at this thought.
“Aww, are you going to miss me?” Chanyeol reaches out and ruffles his hair gleefully because he knows it’s something that the younger male hates.
True enough, Sehun bats his hand away and scowls. “No, in fact, I’m very glad that you’re leaving,” he huffs as they walk out of the apartment. “At least this way I don’t have to suffer through your emotional incapacities and get to live my life in peace.”
“Emotional-I’m perfectly emotionally stable,” Chanyeol defends himself, affronted.
“Sure, because you moping and sniveling over Baekhyun for years like it was the end of the world was completely…” Sehun’s eyes widen when he realizes what he’s said. He claps both hands over his mouth to stop his word vomit, but he knows the damage has been done.
Chanyeol is swallowing awkwardly, looking everywhere but at his friend. He knows what Sehun is talking about, but it doesn’t mean that he’s okay with talking about it still. Even after almost four years, he still really hasn’t gotten the closure that he’s wanted with that… It wasn’t even a relationship.
“Chanyeol,” Sehun starts to speak, but Chanyeol shakes his head.
“It’s fine,” Chanyeol waves him off. “So…” He shifts from foot to foot as he stares at the closed door of his-former-apartment. “Up to you what you want to do with the stuff and, uh, the place. But will you let me know if anyone takes a liking to it?” And Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I just want to know.”
“Sure,” Sehun sighs, deciding not to say anything about it. Before Chanyeol turns to leave, he gently clamps a hand on his wrist. “Are you really sure this is what you want to do?”
“Yes,” Chanyeol answers. “Like I’ve been sure the hundreds of times you’ve asked me.”
“It’s just…” Sehun hesitates. “I feel like you’re doing this for a reason that I’m not sure you even know yet. Or!” he continues. “A reason that you’re not acknowledging.”
Chanyeol blinks at Sehun for a couple of seconds, mouth hanging slightly open, before he snickers and ruffles his hair again. “When did you get so smart?” he teases.
“Well one of us has to step up to the plate,” Sehun rolls his eyes and shoves him slightly.
Chanyeol laughs. But he’s secretly glad that Sehun is up for the task.
-
The airport is bustling with activity that Chanyeol realizes he never misses. There are fans swarming the place and he smiles because he knows that they’re there more for Kris than for him. And he’s pretty sure none of these fans would even be here at the airport if they find out that he and Kris have stopped seeing each other.
The break-up is something Chanyeol had seen coming. The moment he and Kris celebrated their engagement, he’d already known something was wrong and he knew Kris sensed it, too. But both of them decided not to say anything about it because, maybe, they were wrong and that this relationship could actually go the distance they’d both envisioned it to have. Unfortunately, it wasn’t how things were meant to be.
Chanyeol still remembers that night. He had been sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, a mug of hot tea in hand, staring at the tabletop when Kris comes home from one of his schedules. Kris comes into the kitchen after having taken his shoes and coat off and just stands in the doorway. Chanyeol’s not sure what it was, but when he looks up at Kris, sees his broad shoulders, hair styled to perfection and permanent but endearing cold-look on his face, he opens his mouth and says, “Let’s break up.”
Kris just stands there, waiting for a couple of seconds before speaking up. “No, you’re not breaking up with me. I’m breaking up with you.”
They’re silent for a bit before Chanyeol agrees. “Okay,” he says, because Chanyeol thinks Kris has always known that this was coming.
He takes a deep breath and tries to smile when Kris comes to stand beside him just before he enters through immigration. They haven’t really talked much since that evening, only choosing to meet up at one of Joonmyun’s EXO parties to tell everyone their situation. It was really weird how a lot of them weren’t surprised at the news. Chanyeol even remembers how Sehun merely gave him a knowing smile and proceeded to discuss the pitfalls of football with Jongdae in an effort to rile up Lu Han, whose eyes were on Chanyeol.
“You okay?” Kris asks, stuffing his hands in his slacks pocket.
Chanyeol shakes his head. “Stop being so nice,” he mutters. “It makes me feel horrible.”
“That’s the intention,” Kris half shrugs.
“Thank you so much,” Chanyeol tells him as sarcastically as he can. He picks up his bags and starts his walk away from South Korea.
“Hey,” Kris calls him back, gently touching his arm so Chanyeol would look at him. “I may make you feel bad about this whole thing, about this decision, but you’re doing the right thing.” Kris takes a deep breath. “And I hope it works out.”
“Kris,” Chanyeol starts, but Kris shakes his head.
“Not a lot of people find love that they don’t want to let go of,” Kris continues. “You’ve found it once and I admire the fact that you’re brave enough to look for it again.”
Kris smiles at him before walking away. Chanyeol wants to cry.
-
It’s only when Chanyeol touches down in Rome does the panic set in. He’s only just gotten off the plane when he’s bombarded with overwhelming English and while this shouldn’t be something new to him, he’s also normally surrounded with at least six other confused Korean boys. Now, he’s confused all alone. Not even Sehun is there to put a comforting arm around his shoulders and make fun of him.
But right at that moment, his phone buzzes to life and he fumbles to answer it without even looking at who’s calling. His brows furrow when he realizes it’s Kyuhyun.
“Uh, hi,” Chanyeol smartly greets. Because, while SMTown is generally close, he’s never really spoken much to Kyuhyun since Joonmyun hogs any possible airtime with him.
“Did you pass immigration?” Kyuhyun skips further introductions.
Chanyeol blinks, but manages to answer. “Just about,” he shares as he hands his passport to the officer, who gives him a once over.
“What’s the name of your hotel?” Kyuhyun asks.
Chanyeol tells him, thoroughly confused about this whole conversation. “Uh, hyung, why-“
“Good,” Kyuhyun interrupts him. “It’s the same place I stayed at. Okay, so once you exit the airport, find a cab and tell him the name of your hotel. Just that. Skip the niceties because it’s only going to get you lost.”
“Er, okay,” Chanyeol stammers in agreement. “But how do you-“
“This is a favor,” Kyuhyun cuts him off gently. “Look, you’re lucky. You have good friends.” He pauses for a second. “Don’t ask directions from the fans and you’ll hopefully get to your hotel in one piece.” And with that, he ends the call.
Chanyeol stands in the middle of the airport, bag and luggage in his hands, trying to process the fact that a company senior just called him to give him advice on how not to get lost from the airport to his hotel. He’s pretty sure that none of the other members would so much as bother to call him with such kindness in their hearts. Or if they do call, it’ll be just to make sure he gets as lost as possible.
He’s just gotten into a cab when his phone rings for the second time. He smirks when he sees the caller ID.
“Ha!” Chanyeol loudly laughs through the speaker. “I’m already on my way to the hotel. You can’t get me lost!” His laughter dies down a bit when the cab driver shoots him a look through the rearview mirror.
“I’m offended that you would think so maliciously of me,” Jongdae’s voice comes through, thick with disappointment. “I was just going to ask how the weather in Rome is.”
Chanyeol’s eyes narrow as he looks out of the cab window. They pass through big trees and impressive stone structures and he decides that he’s going to take a walk as soon as he settles down in his hotel. He’s on vacation, after all. But, for now, he just thinks that Jongdae is stalling.
“What do you want?” Chanyeol demands. There’s a garbled noise on the other line and some sounds of muffled speaking and shoving. “Hey, I’m going to hang up on you-“
“Just wanted to ask how you’re doing,” Jongdae grumbles. “Like, how your trip was. Did you get sick? Because Kr-OW! Stop it,” he hisses and laughs when he realizes this. “Just, uh, I heard that you tend to get sick on long flights and-“
Chanyeol sighs. “Can you just put Kris on the phone?”
He’s not sure how to feel about the fact that even thousands of miles away, Kris still manages to give him direction, something he’s always looked to him for. But Kris has broken up with him, and that in itself should make Kris free of any obligation he thinks he may have in taking care of Chanyeol.
“What,” Kris gruffly speaks.
“Why are you torturing your friends by forcing them to call me?” Chanyeol asks instead of the many other things he really wants to, like why are you so damn nice to me, I don’t deserve it.
“I’m not,” Kris corrects him. “And they’re your friends, too. Jongdae’s really concerned about how-“ He sighs when Chanyeol clears his throat. “Fine. Just… You’re in Rome, all by yourself and I just wanted to know if you’ve made it out of the airport alive.”
“I’m a grown man, Kris,” Chanyeol tells him. “I can take care of myself.”
“Oh yeah? Huh, I didn’t notice,” Kris shoots back. Chanyeol leans back on his seat and closes his eyes. Kris is quiet for a beat before speaking again. “I’m not helping… am I?”
Chanyeol doesn’t respond. He merely shifts in his seat and watches Rome’s great architecture brush past as the cab tries to speed through the traffic on the cobblestone streets. It’s been known that Rome is one of the most romantic cities in the world. In knowing that, Chanyeol has hoped that maybe he’d find some piece of himself back when he was still hopeful about love and not when he’d started settling.
“Look, I won’t… I just really wanted to know how you’re doing,” Kris speaks again. “If you need anything, you can always call me, no matter what it is.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol whispers. “Bye.”
Kris ends the call and Chanyeol knows that he knows that they’re not going to speak for a while.
-
It’s Chanyeol’s fifth day in Rome and he believes he’s feeling a little less lost. He’s been walking around aimlessly, wanting to just take in everything with no particular hurry. He isn’t really there for sightseeing. He’s there, mostly just to get away, to find his footing and make sure he doesn’t lose it again.
He lifts his camera up just in time to catch a little girl running away from her mom seated in the café to the middle of the plaza to play with some pigeons. He checks the snapshot and smiles when it’s to his satisfaction.
It’s been many hours and moments like this for him. He just wanders around, taking photos, remembering when things were so much easier, so much more fun. He remembers Joonmyun, Jongin, Kyungsoo and Sehun. He remembers EXO and how suddenly having 12 brothers made him feel suffocated in the beginning, but ultimately made him feel less alone. Baekhyun always told him that he should be grateful for what he had because nothing lasts forever.
Baekhyun.
There are no truer words than those. Chanyeol thinks he’s forgotten to be grateful for all those years. He’s always known EXO wasn’t meant to last forever because, even if it’s a job in the entertainment industry, idols aren’t really like the stars in heaven that continue to emit bright light. They fade out and their shimmer dims and is forgotten. Most of all, he thinks he’s forgotten to be grateful for Baekhyun.
He’s never really said it out loud, much less told Baekhyun about it. Chanyeol believes that Baekhyun’s the best thing he’s gotten out of his whole idol experience. He’s trained for so many years and then in just an instant his life changed with Baekhyun’s arrival.
He still remembers walking to the train together after late night practices. He can still feel the cold that seeped into their thick jackets, can still see how he’d put his arm around the smaller male, can still feel how Baekhyun would cling to him. He still thinks back to the moment they found out they were debuting in the same group, that they would be placed in the same sub-group. They were actually going to be together like they’d always hoped.
Chanyeol is sure his life would have been very different if Baekhyun wasn’t in it. There would be no one to put a cap on his head to cover his embarrassing hair, or chide him when he wears his too-big shirts, or lightly pinch him when his laugh gets too loud. He would have no personal vocal coach, who’s willing to stay up late just for him until he got the notes and lyrics right. There would also be no one to lead him, to guide him. Baekhyun was like his own star, making sure he never lost his way.
Which was why when things abruptly changed between them, he felt like he was falling into a precipice with nothing to hold on to.
He takes a seat in one of the outer tables of the café and gently places his camera back into his backpack.
Kris was the one who caught him. He’d taken Chanyeol’s hand and helped him to stand upright until he could do it himself. In the process, the friendship he and Kris once shared morphed into something more. Soon it wasn’t Baekhyun he turned to for things. It became Kris.
He never really got the chance to make things right with Baekhyun; that poor explanation that he’d given him during the party where he and Kris announced their engagement doesn’t really count. It was rash and stupid and the very thing that caused the downfall of his relationship with Kris.
He had kissed Baekhyun then, and every moment he’d spent with Kris afterwards just felt like a lie. Because that kiss with Baekhyun had just felt so right.
“Good afternoon, sir,” a voice speaks up. “What would you like to-Chanyeol?!”
Chanyeol looks up, startled. “Baekhyun.”
-
“You what?” Sehun practically spits out and Chanyeol winces because he’s pretty sure the chips that were previously in Sehun’s mouth were scattered on some other surface now. “You mean to tell me that you saw Baekhyun. In Rome. Of all places, you-Chanyeol, please tell me that’s not the reason why you chose to travel to Rome.”
Chanyeol is quiet and he hears Sehun sigh loudly.
“What am I going to do with you?” Sehun asks tiredly.
“I’m pretty sure that whatever it is would be a good idea right about now,” Chanyeol bites his lower lip as he watches Baekhyun behind the counter. He breathes deeply. “I didn’t-I knew he was in Rome. But I didn’t know where exactly.”
“Lu Han told you, didn’t he?” Sehun finally says.
Chanyeol frowns as he pauses in realization. “Wait…you knew?”
“Everyone knew,” Sehun admits.
“Except for me,” Chanyeol whispers.
“It wasn’t exactly our place to tell,” Sehun apologizes. “Baekhyun was very specific in-“
Chanyeol immediately ends the call when Baekhyun comes back with his cup of coffee. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to make Baekhyun possibly give him a minute of his time. But Baekhyun slips onto the seat across his, effectively making him shut up.
“How long have you been in Rome?” is the first question Baekhyun asks.
“I-almost a week,” Chanyeol answers.
“Where are you staying?” Baekhyun then asks, playing with the saltshaker on the table.
Chanyeol watches in fascination the way his slim fingers twirls the porcelain article. Those fingers have always been something that he’s loved about Baekhyun. He’s loved how they stroked his hair as he sang him to sleep, loved how they wrapped themselves around his own stubby fingers and-
“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun snaps him back to attention.
Chanyeol blinks as he gives the name of his hotel. “Why?” he asks in confusion.
Baekhyun taps the saltshaker twice on the table before placing it back in the middle and standing up. “I don’t have work tomorrow,” he says. “I’ll come by at nine.”
“What? Why?” Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot up so high on his forehead that his hair almost covers them. “You’re not-I didn’t think you would-“
“You don’t know anything about Rome. You’re not interested in culture, unless it has something to do with food. And, even after years of being tutored for it, you still don’t know how to speak English well,” Baekhyun enumerates. He breathes deeply and meets Chanyeol’s wide eyes. “Rome is the last place you would’ve thought to come to for vacation,” he tells him knowingly.
“I do know something about Rome. It’s the capital of Italy and it’s-I’m interested in culture, too, and I-“ Chanyeol tries to defend himself.
“I’ll swing by at 9 a.m.,” Baekhyun reminds him with an amused smile. “You better be in the lobby by then.” He taps the table and walks back to the counter, leaving Chanyeol gaping after him.
Chanyeol dials Sehun’s number once he’s gotten his bearings back.
“How did it go?” Sehun asks with an annoyed tone.
“I-he-“ Chanyeol swallows. “I think we’re going out tomorrow.”
“Really?” Sehun sounds genuinely surprised that it offends Chanyeol.
“Hey, he could’ve missed me as much as I missed him,” Chanyeol frowns. Granted that he’s surprised that Baekhyun had greeted him the way he did and that he seemed to have been the one to initiate the patching up that Chanyeol should have done years ago, there’s a small part in him that still hopes that Baekhyun’s felt the same way he has all this time.
“Chanyeol,” Sehun says, “he went to Rome to get away from you and not once has he ever talked to you. He’s never even asked about you. I’m not saying this to put you down. I’m just telling you so you don’t-“
“Get my hopes up,” Chanyeol finishes. He blows out a breath. Baekhyun is back behind the counter, laughing with a co-worker. “Of course, why would he miss me?”
“Chanyeol-“
“Listen, I have to go,” Chanyeol abruptly ends the conversation. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
He’s always wondered how Baekhyun was doing; thinking about how he’s doing with his work, whether he’s happy or whether he was dating someone new. He knows that Baekhyun’s gone out with a couple of guys when they ended their relationship rather ambiguously. He knows all about Daehyun and Himchan and even Tao.
And then they disbanded, and Baekhyun decided that he was going to go away, where Chanyeol found it impossible to find out how he was doing.
In hindsight, it was all very selfish and very unfair to Kris. But he can’t help but think how it was unfair for himself, too, not to know how Baekhyun is doing. His life had always seemed to revolve around Baekhyun ever since he’s met the smaller male. When Baekhyun decided to take himself out of his life, it took Chanyeol a while to get used to being without him.
Chanyeol takes a sip of his coffee, places a couple of bills on the table and gets up to leave. He and Baekhyun will have time tomorrow to face each other and maybe some of the issues that have been hounding both of them. Tomorrow, but not today. He shifts his camera bag on his shoulder and walks away from the café.
He doesn’t notice Baekhyun watching him leave.
-
Chanyeol isn’t really sure what he’s expecting when he gets to the hotel lobby, camera bag slung over his shoulder and heart on his sleeve. He’s so tired of having to hide it, having had to hide it; first, because of EXO, and then, because of Kris. And all the times he’s tried to hide it has just ended in disaster. So now he’s not hiding it, hurting it be damned.
“Hey,” Baekhyun greets him in a white shirt under a light brown jacket and dark jeans. “Ready?”
“What are we going to do today?” Chanyeol asks him, excited as Baekhyun links his arms with his.
Baekhyun pauses in his steps and looks up at him. Chanyeol can see the tiny freckles that have become more prominent over his nose and cheekbones. He sees the way Baekhyun’s lashes fan over his cheeks, sees the way his bangs are splayed over his forehead, almost covering his eyebrows. It makes Chanyeol want to reach up and brush his fingers over them just like he’s always used to.
“What do you want, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks him.
There are many answers to that question, all of which lead back to Baekhyun. Instead of blurting out things that Baekhyun isn’t ready to hear, Chanyeol smiles and takes out a list of things that Sehun’s written down for him because, after all these years, no one still trusts him to not do things he isn’t supposed to do or embarrass himself with.
“I actually have a list,” Chanyeol proudly tells him, taking it out.
Baekhyun grabs it from him and laughs. “Sehun’s handwriting is still as ugly as ever,” he mutters as he studies it and as Chanyeol turns red. “Of course you want to go to the Colosseum; make a wish on the Trevi Fountain, sit on the Spanish Steps,” Baekhyun scoffs and Chanyeol turns red, “watch an opera, have authentic Italian food.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at this because there really isn’t fake Italian food in Italy. Then he smiles up at Chanyeol. “We can do all of this, of course not in one day, but we can.”
“You’ll come with me?” Chanyeol asks in amazement.
Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s the least I can do,” he says. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”
“That’s what I was thinking, too,” Chanyeol agrees eagerly.
“And we won’t see each other again after this,” Baekhyun adds. “So we might as well make the most of your trip.”
Chanyeol’s smile falters, but he tries hard not to show it. Just as hard as he tries not to show being heartbroken at the idea of not having Baekhyun in his life again.
-
“You do know that we haven’t arrived yet, right?” Baekhyun reminds Chanyeol, voice a mixture of amusement and irritation as Chanyeol snaps shot after shot of anything he gets fascinated by.
“SLR,” Chanyeol says as he waves his camera around, wiggling his eyebrows. “I will never run out of film because, hey what do you know, I don’t have film because I don’t need one.” He grins at Baekhyun as he takes a picture of a tiny cab that stopped to take in some passengers.
“You haven’t changed, have you?” Baekhyun says it with a small, somewhat fond smile on his face, like he’s remembering something. “You’re still too excited and too optimistic about everything.”
Chanyeol pauses at this and lowers his camera to pretend to go through the pictures he’s just taken. “I guess,” he chuckles lightly. “You know me.” Not at all would have been a more appropriate answer because the very thing he used to be optimistic about seem to have been slipping too easily from his grasp. He looks up and smiles at Baekhyun’s startled expression. “We’re here!” he announces.
Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s hand and drags him to a spot where the whole Colosseum looms behind him in a beautiful backdrop. He takes a couple of steps back and places his camera to his face.
“Chanyeol, I’ve been here countless of times,” Baekhyun calls out to him.
“Smile!” Chanyeol directs, and Baekhyun smiles and poses anyway as Chanyeol had known he would.
It’s been a while since he’s taken a photo of Baekhyun. Chanyeol has taken countless pictures of Baekhyun, because no matter how many times Baekhyun says that he doesn’t like it, he really does. And Chanyeol does, too. He thinks back to that small box of photos of Baekhyun, as creepy as it sounds, that he used to have. Chanyeol has always thought that Baekhyun was beautiful and not because he looked delicate, but because he really is beautiful, and Chanyeol always thought that if he could have a snapshot of his beauty, of Baekhyun, with him all the time, then that was good enough for him. But it was never enough. Because nothing is good enough compared to the real thing.
“Are you done?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes as Chanyeol nods like an overly eager puppy. “Great! Let’s go in!”
Chanyeol hopes Baekhyun doesn’t hear his gasp when Baekhyun takes his hand in his.
-
“How’s everyone?” Baekhyun asks as he takes a big bite out of his sandwich.
After the Colosseum, Baekhyun suggested they go to the Gardens of the Villa Borghese and just walk around. Chanyeol had to admit that it was a nice change from the intensity of the Colosseum, more down-to-earth and relaxing. Baekhyun had taken him to the hill behind Trastevere and the Gianicolo and sat down on the grass to eat and watch moms fuss over their children feeding the turtles at the pond.
Chanyeol chuckles. “Oh, you know, everyone’s pretty much the same,” he answers. “Sehun’s been delving into acting, Jongin’s still dancing, Lu Han’s still singing, Jongdae is MCing…” He shrugs.
“How lovely,” Baekhyun dryly responds with an eye roll at the level of information that Chanyeol just shared. “Jongdae tells me that Kyuhyun’s been really tough on coaching him. All his practice comebacks and comments have been received with much criticism apparently. And Joonmyun keeps on complaining because he’s still been playing leader and mother to Tao, who still keeps on missing everyone so much.” He chuckles and Chanyeol gapes at him.
“You… you talk to Jongdae? And Joonmyun?” Chanyeol asks.
Baekhyun chews quietly. “Sometimes,” he answers softly, not meeting his eyes, because it’s clear that Baekhyun only never talks to Chanyeol anymore. And maybe Kris.
“They all miss you, you know,” Chanyeol says. I miss you.
Baekhyun waves the statement off dismissively. “Everyone’s too busy to do that,” he says. He finally looks up and meets Chanyeol’s eyes. “How have you been? What have you been up to?”
Chanyeol shrugs. He really hasn’t done much since EXO disbanded. He’s done some show guestings here and there and got a couple of acting gigs. Right before he left for Rome, the company had presented him with an idea of going solo where he can rap or play the guitar. Chanyeol said he’d think about it and got on a plane.
“I can see you doing that,” Baekhyun says. “I mean, you always were too big and too bright for EXO.”
“What does that mean?” Chanyeol narrows his eyes as Baekhyun shoots him a teasing smile, even though he knows Baekhyun didn’t mean it in a bad way.
“It means you’ve always been too full of yourself and always wanted more of the spotlight,” Baekhyun elaborates. “Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
Chanyeol scoffs. “Don’t downplay it.”
Baekhyun laughs. “Hey, I’m not the one who chose himself as the one who girls like the most.”
“It’s been years since I’ve said that,” Chanyeol groans. “Will you let that go already?”
“Fine, fine,” Baekhyun laughs. “We all know it’s really Kris anyway-“ His eyes widen slightly and he coughs uncomfortably into his palm. “How-how is Kris?”
“Still a saint,” Chanyeol mutters, not quite looking at Baekhyun. He knows that Baekhyun knows about their break-up. Anyone who knows Jongdae probably knows about it, which just means that everyone knows.
“Are you guys doing okay?” Baekhyun gently asks, fidgeting with his hands.
“Yeah,” Chanyeol sighs. “We’re okay. You know how Kris is.”
“He really loved you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun tells him in such a quiet voice that Chanyeol almost doesn’t hear him.
Chanyeol falls quiet at that, turning to watch the passing joggers and dog walkers instead. He doesn’t even want to know how Baekhyun knows that, doesn’t want to entertain the fact that Baekhyun might even talk to Kris more than him. Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun even knows why he and Kris broke up.
“I used to come here all the time.” Baekhyun’s voice breaks through Chanyeol’s thoughts and he turns to look at the smaller male. “When I first arrived,” Baekhyun clarifies with a pensive smile. “I used to watch people the way you’re doing now.”
“Like what?” Chanyeol asks, confused.
“Like you’re looking for answers,” Baekhyun says, looking away. He stands up and dusts off his pants. “We should head back to your hotel. You look tired.” He picks up his bag and takes his trash.
Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun walks off to throw them into the nearest trashcan and wonders how Baekhyun can still read him very well, while Chanyeol is left with practically no clue as to what Baekhyun’s really thinking. He used to pride himself in being the best person to know what Baekhyun’s thinking, the one who can tell whether he’s faking anger or whether he’s really upset. Right now, he can’t even tell if Baekhyun’s actually happy with his life, whether he’s moved on. Not that Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to have not moved on. But he clings to the hope that maybe Baekhyun still has feelings for him.
-
“You sound weird.”
“I tell you how my day was and that’s your reply?” Chanyeol says incredulously. He’s lying on his bed, the television on mute, playing with the chord of the phone.
“What do you want me to say?” Sehun drawls. “You’re weird. That’s probably more accurate.”
“I don’t think he feels anything for me anymore,” Chanyeol mutters. “He’s not the same.”
“Were you expecting him to be?” Sehun asks.
“No,” Chanyeol says. “Not really. But I don’t know. I was kind of hoping that… forget it. I’m obviously delusional.”
Sehun sighs. “Stop moping and stop thinking,” he demands. “The important thing is you’re with him. You have him to yourself in one of the most romantic cities in the world. Think of what happens after when it comes. Don’t be dumb and get ahead of yourself.”
“I should tell Joonmyun how much more disrespectful you’ve become,” Chanyeol mutters even though he’s planning to take Sehun’s advice to heart.
“You know I’m right.” And Chanyeol can just imagine Sehun rolling his eyes. Never before has he gotten the strongest urge to strangle the maknae. “How is he?”
“He’s the same.” Chanyeol tries not to focus so much on the fact that Baekhyun is brighter and more beautiful than ever. He tries not to think about how everything about him just screams the one who got away and that Chanyeol just wants to slap himself over and over at the fact that he let this happen. That he let this happen to the both of them.
“I can’t believe that after all these years…” Sehun trails away. “Be careful, Chanyeol. It has been years. You may think he’s the same but really he may have changed.”
Chanyeol sighs and closes his eyes.
-
The Trevi Fountain may be one of the most popular and one of the most advertised attractions of Rome, but no one really mentions how crowded it can get. Chanyeol clenches his jaw, swallowing his groan, as his foot gets squashed for the nth time.
“Sorry that was me,” Baekhyun breathes apologetically, glancing behind him at Chanyeol while he holds his hands in front of him so he can help in parting the crowd.
Chanyeol merely shakes his head at him, a small smile on his face, before he’s wrapping an arm around Baekhyun and moving out of the way so roughly that Baekhyun is left breathless.
“Watch it!” Chanyeol practically growls at some of the guys pushing their way to get away from the fountain. He looks down at Baekhyun, who looks a bit winded. “Are you okay?” he asks when the reach the edge of the fountain. He finds a rare empty spot and sits Baekhyun down before crouching down in front of him.
“Fine,” Baekhyun assures him, brushing his hair away from his face.
“Okay. I’ll just go get you some water,” Chanyeol says, moving to stand up. “I think I saw a stand nearby.” He turns to leave but Baekhyun grabs hold of his wrist.
“Just stay here,” Baekhyun says, not quite looking at Chanyeol. “We can get water later.”
Chanyeol nods, staying standing up as he watches people throw coins into the fountain, their wishes up in the air. He’s not sure if Baekhyun, who was never really one for crowds, is still a bit shaken or if this sudden surge of affection is just a random thing. Memories of going through crowds like this with his arms around Baekhyun overwhelm him, especially with Baekhyun’s hand warming his wrist.
Later on, Chanyeol throws a coin into the fountain. He wishes for more touches like this, endless if possible, until he has to leave.
-
“Are you… sure about this?” Chanyeol looks dubious as Baekhyun practically lugs around three tubs of gelato and puts them on the table in front of the television.
“This is how they do it here,” Baekhyun assures him, looking pleased. He opens each of the tubs, flavors raspberry, suisine and the standard chocolate all beam at them. “Il Gelato di San Crispino don’t sell ice cream in cones because it interferes with the flavors or something.” He wrinkles his nose in a way that Chanyeol remembers all too well and in a way that makes him want to lean forward and kiss him.
“Mm,” is Chanyeol’s only comment as Baekhyun hands him a spoon before proceeding to turn on the television and the DVD player.
They sit side by side, each holding a tub, Baekhyun’s, raspberry, and Chanyeol’s, chocolate, as they start watching some Italian film that Baekhyun says is quite a hit. Chanyeol gets absorbed in the movie, forgetting about the ice cream, which he put back on the table to melt. It’s only an hour later that he realizes that Baekhyun has stopped making commentary and has actually nodded off.
Chanyeol snickers quietly and takes the tub of ice cream from Baekhyun’s hands to put back on the table as well. It’s a split-second decision when Chanyeol carefully puts his arm around Baekhyun to pull him closer to him, making Baekhyun’s head fall on his shoulder. But he finds himself unable to concentrate on the movie any longer. He puts it on mute and focuses on Baekhyun’s even breathing.
It’s a lifetime ago since he’s gotten to hold Baekhyun like this. Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s first choice to cling on or to cuddle with. They had just gotten into that groove of a relationship ever since Chanyeol had offered to take Baekhyun home each time their training sessions ended like it was the most natural thing in the world. Baekhyun would always link their arms together or he’d snuggle under Chanyeol’s arm. Sometimes, he’d even jump onto Chanyeol’s back and he’d have to carry the smaller male around the rest of the time like that. What Chanyeol likes the most though is when Baekhyun would lace their fingers together. It’s a simple gesture, maybe less intimate than snuggling, but Chanyeol feels it holds the most meaning.
Carding gentle fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, Chanyeol starts humming a song he’d composed two months after his broken engagement with Kris, five years after Baekhyun started pulling away from him.
If I could write the fates of our lives
If I could steal the sun from the skies
I’d make this moment last forever
And always be the apple of your eye
I’m the one that breaks your heart
So you get back to the start
And I’m the reason you’ll make sure the next one’s right
Cause my pride gives me regrets
When you’re happy, I’m upset
And I’m the reason you believed
In this romance
It’s not like in the movies
Where happy endings get a play
Fast forward, rewind baby
Chanyeol closes his eyes and sighs. He really wants to make things right with Baekhyun; wants them to be right in such a way that Baekhyun would accept his feelings and return them. Thinking back to the Trevi Fountain, he wonders if wishes made through that fountain really do come true.
-
Chanyeol grumbles as he tries to knot his necktie. He glares down at it, as if willing it to catch on fire, while trying to loop it all over itself. There’s a sound of a door opening and a chuckle before slender hands take over for him.
“Five years of wearing suits hasn’t taught you anything, hasn’t it?” Baekhyun teases him as he fixes Chanyeol’s tie with ease.
“Well it has been a lot more years since then,” Chanyeol chokes out, barely managing to answer as he takes in the sight of Baekhyun looking even more dashing in a dark suit and bowtie around his neck. He vaguely remembers those five years of the two of them complaining of having to wear such stiff penguin suits for certain events. “Is this really necessary?” he blurts out when Baekhyun catches him staring.
“Like how it was necessary all those years ago,” Baekhyun says, gently patting Chanyeol’s tie and turning away to hide his pink cheeks. “Besides, it’s the Opera. No one waltzes into Teatro dell-Opera di Roma-Teatro Constanzi,” he continues and Chanyeol wrinkles his nose at the mouthful, “looking like they just got out of bed.” He gives Chanyeol a pointed look.
“I do not always look like I just got out of bed,” Chanyeol defends himself. “I comb my hair now.”
Baekhyun’s eyes flicker up fondly to Chanyeol’s dark locks. “That you do,” he mutters before he’s grabbing their coats, shoving Chanyeol’s to him, and they’re leaving Baekhyun’s apartment.
They reach the theatre without fanfare and an usher guides them into one of the boxes, giving them a magnificent view of the stage. Chanyeol squirms in his seat, uncomfortable at the fact that Baekhyun probably spent a fortune to get them these seats. When he thinks about it, Baekhyun’s been paying for everything that they’ve been doing together. From the Colosseum to the St. Peter’s Basilica and Sistine Chapel tour to the Vittoriano and the Pantheon, Baekhyun foot the bill for everything without so much as batting an eyelash and Chanyeol just doesn’t know what to think. It’s been years since they saw each other and the first thing that Chanyeol does when they do is make Baekhyun pay for everything. It makes him cringe.
“Are you okay?” Baekhyun nudges him lightly, leaning towards him.
“These must cost a fortune,” Chanyeol voices out.
Baekhyun waves it off dismissively. “These seats have the best acoustics,” is all he says.
“Still,” Chanyeol lamely retorts.
“I’ve learned not to care so much about technicalities anymore.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “When I want something, I go for it, no matter what. Live life to the fullest, you know? Now, shush, and enjoy the show.”
Chanyeol’s chest constricts as Baekhyun’s words strike his heart. He knows Baekhyun didn’t intend those words specifically for him, but it just feels like a lesson for him. How long has it been since he’s gone for what he wanted? He glances at Baekhyun, who’s enraptured by the show, and realizes that’s what the whole Rome trip is for. It’s for Chanyeol to finally go for something he’s always wanted.
-
“You’ve got to stop walking on cloud nine, Chanyeol,” Sehun tells him, clearly exasperated.
“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t ever done that,” Chanyeol almost snaps. “At least not with Baekhyun.”
“Yes, you have,” Sehun corrects him. “You’ve been doing it all this time. You’ve had feelings for him ever since we were trainees and until now, you’re still holding on to that thread of hope you’ve always had. Even when you were engaged to Kris.” He pauses as if waiting for Chanyeol to say something. When he doesn’t, he continues, “You’ve always been on it, Yeol. Because if you aren’t, you would be over him by now. And you wouldn’t be in Rome right now.”
“I can’t give up,” Chanyeol whispers, squeezing his eyes shut as he turns to his side on his bed.
Right after the Opera, Baekhyun had dropped him off to his hotel. Chanyeol had lingered outside, shifting his feet, antsy about something he can’t even express. Tomorrow is his last day. After a month in the Eternal City, Chanyeol feels like he’s done nothing but fall even more in love with Baekhyun. So he’s not quite sure how he’s going to leave.
“Well you have one more day,” Sehun encourages him halfheartedly.
-
Baekhyun brings Chanyeol to Piazza del Popolo after lunch to satisfy his thirst for photography. It’s the perfect place because there are so many things to take pictures of. Chanyeol grins at Baekhyun, who hangs back and sits by the steps of the church of Santa Maria del Popolo, while he goes off to take snapshots of anything that he deems interesting.
“Good a lot of good shots?” Baekhyun asks when Chanyeol finally joins him at the steps.
“I guess,” Chanyeol says, returning his camera back into his bag.
Baekhyun frowns at him. “Everything okay? Did you want to do something else? We can go Piazza Navona and-“
“Let’s just sit here,” Chanyeol suggests instead.
Chanyeol sighs and hangs his head, keeping his hands clasped together. He’s not sure what he’s doing asking Baekhyun to just sit and be quiet with him. It’s a dangerous thing because it’s in the quiet that he thinks about Baekhyun and how things were and how they could be. It’s the reason why he calls Sehun so much when he’s alone. Because he doesn’t want being alone with those thoughts. Now he isn’t alone, except he’s with the source of all his heartache and dreams.
He’s leaving tomorrow. He’s going to go on a plane, go back to Seoul, and leave Baekhyun behind. There’s something that feels so wrong about that picture. It makes him feel like it’s what he’s been doing all this time, getting up and leaving Baekhyun.
“So…” Baekhyun breaks the silence, seemingly nervous. Chanyeol lifts his head. “Are you done packing?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “I never really unpacked.”
“Oh,” Baekhyun responds with a nod and a chuckle. “Of course.”
“Do you ever miss it?” Chanyeol asks this time after another couple of minutes of silence between them. Baekhyun gives him a questioning look. “Seoul. Korea,” he elaborates with a half shrug. “Home.”
Baekhyun smiles a little and plays with his fingers. “Sure I do,” he honestly answers. He watches a little boy beg his mother for a cone of ice cream. “It’s hard being away. I couldn’t just look over my shoulder and expect to talk to Lu Han or Jongdae. I mean I could call them, but it’s not the same.”
“So why don’t you come home?” Chanyeol asks pointedly.
Baekhyun’s eyes flicker towards his intent gaze. “There isn’t really anything…” He shakes his head. “I’m trying to start over. I want to go on some sort of vacation before going back.”
“Isn’t this vacation long enough?” Chanyeol demands, even though he knows that he shouldn’t. This is stepping over an unspoken boundary. He has no right to tell Baekhyun such things anymore, much less demand anything from him. “It’s been so many months since you’ve been away and-“
“What’s it to you?” Baekhyun snaps. “It’s none of your business. We haven’t talked in a long time. You don’t know me anymore.” He gets up and dusts his pants before taking a couple of steps down.
Chanyeol hurriedly goes after him and grabs his wrist. “I know that,” he tells him when Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “You think I don’t know that you’re not the same anymore? You think I enjoy not having talked to you properly in years? You think I don’t regret anything?”
Baekhyun squirms under his gaze. “Chanyeol, don’t do this,” he pleads.
“I want to know you again, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol plunges on. “I want to get to know you again.” He swallows nervously. “If you’ll let me.”
Baekhyun is quiet for a minute. Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun’s shoulders tense as he sees Chanyeol’s hand on his wrist. Baekhyun untangles from Chanyeol’s hold and shakes his head.
“You can’t just… waltz in every time you think it’s okay to and then walk away when things start becoming inconvenient,” Baekhyun speaks.
“What are you talking about?” Chanyeol looks confused, brows furrowed.
“You never…” Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “You never even asked me what was going on, never tried to talk to me-“
“I did!” Chanyeol cuts him off. “I did! You never even gave me a chance. You didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t know what else to do so I stopped.”
Baekhyun smiles at him, close-lipped. “That’s that then,” he says, turning around.
Chanyeol makes him face back again. “That’s not that,” he insists. “What did you want me to do? What do you think I should have done?”
Baekhyun looks at him Chanyeol sees the Baekhyun from back then, the Baekhyun who was his best friend, the one who cared a lot about him even if he’s a big doofus. There’s fondness behind the shuttered look and Chanyeol wonders what he could have done to keep that fondness held back.
“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you,” Baekhyun says, finally managing to walk away.
-
Sehun is quiet after Chanyeol spent a half hour whining about how he doesn’t know what Baekhyun was talking about when he said that he shouldn’t waltz in and out as he chooses. Chanyeol is agonizing over it because Baekhyun just dropped him off at his hotel and left with merely “I’ll see you off at the airport”. He feels like the past month they spent together has all gone to waste with that stupid confrontation.
“Sehun, did you hear me?” Chanyeol grumbles.
“Chanyeol, just sleep on it,” Sehun quietly tells him. “You barely have time to sleep before your flight tomorrow.”
“You know something,” Chanyeol suspiciously states. “You have an opinion on this.”
“Chanyeol,” Sehun sighs.
“What is it? Tell me. I can take it,” Chanyeol persists, sitting up on his bed.
Sehun takes another deep breath. “When Baekhyun started avoiding you, you never really pursued talking to him about it. You-“
“I did,” Chanyeol interjects stoutly. “I did, but he wouldn’t even let me get a word out. He would just turn away and look for Lu Han.”
“Okay, maybe for a week or so you did,” Sehun maintains. “But after that you didn’t really do anything anymore. Sure, you gave him these longing looks and sulked around like a child but didn’t do anything else.”
“I did,” Chanyeol repeats, shaking his head even if Sehun can’t see him. “I even kept on telling Kris that I didn’t know how to get Baekhyun to talk to me.”
“That’s just it, Chanyeol,” Sehun patiently says. “You talked to Kris, not to Baekhyun. And then you enjoyed being with Kris so much that you seemed to just…forget why you were even talking to him in the first place.”
Chanyeol grips his phone tighter and squeezes his eyes shut. That couldn’t have been what happened. He really tried talking to Baekhyun, tried to understand what happened that he wouldn’t even look at him anymore. Kris was there, encouraging him through it all, but nothing more than that. How can he forget about Baekhyun when, after all these years, he still thinks about him and what happened?
“I don’t know what to say,” Chanyeol whispers, bowing his head.
“The night of the engagement party,” Sehun starts and Chanyeol lifts his head up with a gasp. “At one window of opportunity, a moment of weakness, Yeol, you kissed Baekhyun but you went back to Kris, because you were engaged. I mean, I’m not blaming you, but how did you think Baekhyun was going to feel about that?”
“He doesn’t believe me anymore,” Chanyeol realizes. “He thinks I’m here because Kris and I broke up. He thinks he’s rebound and-no.” He buries his face in one hand. “He’s got it wrong. He’s got it backwards.”
“Maybe you should let it go,” Sehun uncertainly suggests. “You’ve been at this for so long. Don’t you think it’s time you let your heart rest?”
Chanyeol lies back down on the bed and stares at the ceiling. All the years of his life with Baekhyun ending with one final goodbye tomorrow is something he can’t even begin to comprehend.
-
Chanyeol has never dreaded stepping into an airport until that moment. He’s always hated it because of the crowd the fans formed, but now, even with the fans, he thinks this is the worst he’s ever hated it. Because Baekhyun is standing beside him, to show him off, pushing him away from his life forever.
“Baekhyun-“
“I’m assuming you packed well,” Baekhyun interrupts, not meeting his eyes and staring at a spot on Chanyeol’s shoulder instead. “I hope you didn’t forget anything at the airport and then call me to ship things back to you.”
“Baek-“
“I put some medicines on the side of your bag,” Baekhyun cuts him off once more. “For headache and for dizziness when you’re on the plane, since I’m pretty sure you’ve forgotten to get some again.”
“Bae-“
“It’s a long flight,” Baekhyun says this time, reaching up to fix the collar of his cardigan. Slowly, he allows himself to finally meet Chanyeol’s eyes. “I hope you remember where you put your boarding passes and your passport and I hope you don’t leave your bag anywhere in the airport during the layover-“
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol sternly interjects. “This isn’t me waltzing into your life and waltzing back out again, just like all those times before. I have never left. And I wouldn’t again if you still think that. This is just me getting on a plane to Seoul.” He bravely reaches out and holds Baekhyun’s hand, searching for something like hope in his eyes. “I will come back.”
Baekhyun lets out a shaky breath and laughs. “Chanyeol, stop. This isn’t-“
Chanyeol swoops down for a kiss. He wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s waist when he feels Baekhyun responding with a tilt of his head and a soft hand on his cheek. This is exactly what he meant about the kiss with Baekhyun feeling right. It may feel like it’s been too late, but it’s better to have happened now or at all than never. Other may people think that he should have given up on Baekhyun long ago, but he really couldn’t have done that. Not when there’s this kind of feeling existing in the world, one that Baekhyun makes him feel.
Kris had told him that not a lot of people find love that they don’t want to let go of. Chanyeol thinks he’s right, and while he had hurt Kris to realize that, he doesn’t think he can let Baekhyun go.
Baekhyun pulls away with a giggle in hearing the PA system announcing Chanyeol’s flight. “Okay, that's enough. I get your point. You’re going to miss your plane,” he says, lips red, hands resting on Chanyeol’s chest.
“Would that be so bad?” Chanyeol asks with a dorky grin on his face. He’s never felt this happy before. He never actually thought that Baekhyun would ever come back to him.
“Yes,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes, grinning back. “You have work, obligations.” He smiles fondly, eyes sparkling, when he stands on tiptoe to give him another kiss. “We will see each other again. We still have a lot we need to talk about.”
“Yes, I’ll come back. I promise,” Chanyeol tells him through another kiss. “So we’re okay? You believe me?”
“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun starts.
“I’m not even going to bother getting on that plane if you still don’t,” Chanyeol resolutely declares, putting his bags down.
“Yes, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun immediately but earnestly says. “I do. I think I’ve always…” He laughs nervously. “You have to go,” he tells him when the PA system calls again for Chanyeol’s flight.
“Okay,” Chanyeol sighs, nodding. “See you soon.”
Chanyeol steals another sloppy kiss, making Baekhyun laugh, before he’s running towards his gate.
-
“So you left?!” Lu Han practically yells, making Chanyeol duck in case Lu Han threw some hard object at him. Joonmyun puts his book down to frown at Lu Han, who has the grace to smile sheepishly.
“Whipped,” Sehun snickers. Lu Han smacks the back of his head.
“Why would you leave?” Lu Han demands from Chanyeol. “You could have stayed and talked instead of putting thousands of miles between you again. When do you think you’ll be able to come back?”
“I just talked to him last night,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes. “I’m booking my flight for next week tomorrow. Relax.”
“Relax? Relax?” Lu Han bares his teeth. “You’re not the one who’s had to calm him down and make him stop crying every time you-“
Chanyeol frowns. No one’s ever really told him to his face just how badly he’d hurt Baekhyun even if he knows. “I’m sorry, okay? I really am,” he declares with a pout. “I’m not going to hurt him again. In fact,” he decides, standing up to go to his room, “I’ll start packing now just to show you how dedicated I am to-“
“Look who’s here!” Jongdae announces.
Baekhyun is standing in the hallway of his apartment, his bags on the floor.
“Hi?” Baekhyun laughs uncertainly at the dumbstruck expression on Chanyeol’s face.
Chanyeol rushes towards him and lifts him off the ground, his face buried on the crook of his neck. “You’re here,” he mumbles.
“I am,” Baekhyun confirms. He cups Chanyeol’s face when Chanyeol finally plants him back to the ground. “I am.”
Chanyeol kisses him.
There is still a lot they have to discuss, things about their relationship they’ve never touched on before and catch up on those years they never spoke, but for now Chanyeol thinks he’s just going to be happy that Baekhyun gave him a chance to make things right between them.
“Everyone missed you,” Chanyeol tells him later, reaching for his hand.
Baekhyun smiles at him and interlaces their fingers together.
EXO | Chanyeol/Baekhyun | PG-13 | 9,838w
Romance, Slight angst
Chanyeol tries to get Baekhyun back.
Note: Sequel to When Chances Fade. This can be read alone, but it would be better if you read that first. :)
Chances Are
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sehun asks, watching with an irksome face as Chanyeol puts lots of packing tape on a box labeled Chanyeol’s crap that he’s bequeathing to Sehun.
“Never been more sure of anything in my life,” Chanyeol answers resolutely, stuffing the packing tape in the toolbox Minseok let him borrow.
He stands and looks around the living room, practically empty, save for some packed boxes. Jongin, Kyungsoo and Yixing had hauled off the rest of the furniture out the other day, the rest of the boys fighting over who gets what and putting it into their respective apartments.
It took him a while, but he’s finally come to this decision and he’s pretty firm with himself that he’ll stick with it no matter what, no matter how hard and painful it is. It’s something he should have done the moment that he-
“Are you even going to say goodbye to Kris?” Sehun interrupts his thoughts from where he’s sitting on the box of crap being bestowed upon him.
Chanyeol takes a really deep breath that when he exhales his bangs fly off his forehead. “He’s seeing me off,” he explains rather uncomfortably. He turns and starts moving the boxes towards one corner so if any possible tenants come in, the place wouldn’t look too messy and even seem slightly attractive.
This apartment is great, Chanyeol can’t help but think. Sure some parts of the ceiling are leaking and the wallpapers are frayed at the edges and there might be some rat infestation going on… Still, it’s the apartment he bought with his first paycheck in EXO’s third year. It’s one where Joonmyun sometimes liked to crash in when he got annoyed with Sehun not listening to him enough. Strangely enough, it’s also where Sehun liked to crash when Joonmyun’s nagging got too grating on his nerves. It’s where he managed to cook his first meal and not burn anything, where Jongdae even gave him a slight approving look for his efforts. It’s where Lu Han drunk dialed Minseok and told him that his cheeks were a sin to humankind. It’s home and Chanyeol thinks he wouldn’t trade this apartment for anything else.
“I don’t get how you managed to escape his wrath,” Sehun muses. “Like I know Kris is calm a lot of the time and he’s incredibly patient. I mean, he did live through years of living with Jongdae and Lu Han in one roof. But this… no one is this okay with anything-“
“He broke up with me, okay,” Chanyeol cuts him off, sparing him a warning look.
Sehun raises his hands in front of him in mock surrender. “But why did he?” he presses. “I mean, you’ve been engaged for six months and he seemed very excited about the wedding.” When Chanyeol merely sighs, he makes a face. “Fine, don’t tell me anything.” He pouts and crosses his arms on his chest.
Chanyeol ignores him. “I guess that’s it,” he announces as he makes sure that he hasn’t left anything unboxed.
Sehun gets up from the box he’s sitting on. “You do know that I’m just going to throw this crap away, right?” he says seriously. “I doubt you’re even coming back for them.” Suddenly, he grabs Chanyeol’s arm. “Hey, when are you coming back?”
Chanyeol hesitates because he doesn’t know the answer to that question. All he’s done was book a one way ticket to Rome because he hasn’t really sat down and thought about what he was going to do after he gets there, much less when he’ll be coming home.
“If you don’t come back, I’m going to…” Sehun trails away, realizing that he has no leverage over him. He frowns at this thought.
“Aww, are you going to miss me?” Chanyeol reaches out and ruffles his hair gleefully because he knows it’s something that the younger male hates.
True enough, Sehun bats his hand away and scowls. “No, in fact, I’m very glad that you’re leaving,” he huffs as they walk out of the apartment. “At least this way I don’t have to suffer through your emotional incapacities and get to live my life in peace.”
“Emotional-I’m perfectly emotionally stable,” Chanyeol defends himself, affronted.
“Sure, because you moping and sniveling over Baekhyun for years like it was the end of the world was completely…” Sehun’s eyes widen when he realizes what he’s said. He claps both hands over his mouth to stop his word vomit, but he knows the damage has been done.
Chanyeol is swallowing awkwardly, looking everywhere but at his friend. He knows what Sehun is talking about, but it doesn’t mean that he’s okay with talking about it still. Even after almost four years, he still really hasn’t gotten the closure that he’s wanted with that… It wasn’t even a relationship.
“Chanyeol,” Sehun starts to speak, but Chanyeol shakes his head.
“It’s fine,” Chanyeol waves him off. “So…” He shifts from foot to foot as he stares at the closed door of his-former-apartment. “Up to you what you want to do with the stuff and, uh, the place. But will you let me know if anyone takes a liking to it?” And Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I just want to know.”
“Sure,” Sehun sighs, deciding not to say anything about it. Before Chanyeol turns to leave, he gently clamps a hand on his wrist. “Are you really sure this is what you want to do?”
“Yes,” Chanyeol answers. “Like I’ve been sure the hundreds of times you’ve asked me.”
“It’s just…” Sehun hesitates. “I feel like you’re doing this for a reason that I’m not sure you even know yet. Or!” he continues. “A reason that you’re not acknowledging.”
Chanyeol blinks at Sehun for a couple of seconds, mouth hanging slightly open, before he snickers and ruffles his hair again. “When did you get so smart?” he teases.
“Well one of us has to step up to the plate,” Sehun rolls his eyes and shoves him slightly.
Chanyeol laughs. But he’s secretly glad that Sehun is up for the task.
-
The airport is bustling with activity that Chanyeol realizes he never misses. There are fans swarming the place and he smiles because he knows that they’re there more for Kris than for him. And he’s pretty sure none of these fans would even be here at the airport if they find out that he and Kris have stopped seeing each other.
The break-up is something Chanyeol had seen coming. The moment he and Kris celebrated their engagement, he’d already known something was wrong and he knew Kris sensed it, too. But both of them decided not to say anything about it because, maybe, they were wrong and that this relationship could actually go the distance they’d both envisioned it to have. Unfortunately, it wasn’t how things were meant to be.
Chanyeol still remembers that night. He had been sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, a mug of hot tea in hand, staring at the tabletop when Kris comes home from one of his schedules. Kris comes into the kitchen after having taken his shoes and coat off and just stands in the doorway. Chanyeol’s not sure what it was, but when he looks up at Kris, sees his broad shoulders, hair styled to perfection and permanent but endearing cold-look on his face, he opens his mouth and says, “Let’s break up.”
Kris just stands there, waiting for a couple of seconds before speaking up. “No, you’re not breaking up with me. I’m breaking up with you.”
They’re silent for a bit before Chanyeol agrees. “Okay,” he says, because Chanyeol thinks Kris has always known that this was coming.
He takes a deep breath and tries to smile when Kris comes to stand beside him just before he enters through immigration. They haven’t really talked much since that evening, only choosing to meet up at one of Joonmyun’s EXO parties to tell everyone their situation. It was really weird how a lot of them weren’t surprised at the news. Chanyeol even remembers how Sehun merely gave him a knowing smile and proceeded to discuss the pitfalls of football with Jongdae in an effort to rile up Lu Han, whose eyes were on Chanyeol.
“You okay?” Kris asks, stuffing his hands in his slacks pocket.
Chanyeol shakes his head. “Stop being so nice,” he mutters. “It makes me feel horrible.”
“That’s the intention,” Kris half shrugs.
“Thank you so much,” Chanyeol tells him as sarcastically as he can. He picks up his bags and starts his walk away from South Korea.
“Hey,” Kris calls him back, gently touching his arm so Chanyeol would look at him. “I may make you feel bad about this whole thing, about this decision, but you’re doing the right thing.” Kris takes a deep breath. “And I hope it works out.”
“Kris,” Chanyeol starts, but Kris shakes his head.
“Not a lot of people find love that they don’t want to let go of,” Kris continues. “You’ve found it once and I admire the fact that you’re brave enough to look for it again.”
Kris smiles at him before walking away. Chanyeol wants to cry.
-
It’s only when Chanyeol touches down in Rome does the panic set in. He’s only just gotten off the plane when he’s bombarded with overwhelming English and while this shouldn’t be something new to him, he’s also normally surrounded with at least six other confused Korean boys. Now, he’s confused all alone. Not even Sehun is there to put a comforting arm around his shoulders and make fun of him.
But right at that moment, his phone buzzes to life and he fumbles to answer it without even looking at who’s calling. His brows furrow when he realizes it’s Kyuhyun.
“Uh, hi,” Chanyeol smartly greets. Because, while SMTown is generally close, he’s never really spoken much to Kyuhyun since Joonmyun hogs any possible airtime with him.
“Did you pass immigration?” Kyuhyun skips further introductions.
Chanyeol blinks, but manages to answer. “Just about,” he shares as he hands his passport to the officer, who gives him a once over.
“What’s the name of your hotel?” Kyuhyun asks.
Chanyeol tells him, thoroughly confused about this whole conversation. “Uh, hyung, why-“
“Good,” Kyuhyun interrupts him. “It’s the same place I stayed at. Okay, so once you exit the airport, find a cab and tell him the name of your hotel. Just that. Skip the niceties because it’s only going to get you lost.”
“Er, okay,” Chanyeol stammers in agreement. “But how do you-“
“This is a favor,” Kyuhyun cuts him off gently. “Look, you’re lucky. You have good friends.” He pauses for a second. “Don’t ask directions from the fans and you’ll hopefully get to your hotel in one piece.” And with that, he ends the call.
Chanyeol stands in the middle of the airport, bag and luggage in his hands, trying to process the fact that a company senior just called him to give him advice on how not to get lost from the airport to his hotel. He’s pretty sure that none of the other members would so much as bother to call him with such kindness in their hearts. Or if they do call, it’ll be just to make sure he gets as lost as possible.
He’s just gotten into a cab when his phone rings for the second time. He smirks when he sees the caller ID.
“Ha!” Chanyeol loudly laughs through the speaker. “I’m already on my way to the hotel. You can’t get me lost!” His laughter dies down a bit when the cab driver shoots him a look through the rearview mirror.
“I’m offended that you would think so maliciously of me,” Jongdae’s voice comes through, thick with disappointment. “I was just going to ask how the weather in Rome is.”
Chanyeol’s eyes narrow as he looks out of the cab window. They pass through big trees and impressive stone structures and he decides that he’s going to take a walk as soon as he settles down in his hotel. He’s on vacation, after all. But, for now, he just thinks that Jongdae is stalling.
“What do you want?” Chanyeol demands. There’s a garbled noise on the other line and some sounds of muffled speaking and shoving. “Hey, I’m going to hang up on you-“
“Just wanted to ask how you’re doing,” Jongdae grumbles. “Like, how your trip was. Did you get sick? Because Kr-OW! Stop it,” he hisses and laughs when he realizes this. “Just, uh, I heard that you tend to get sick on long flights and-“
Chanyeol sighs. “Can you just put Kris on the phone?”
He’s not sure how to feel about the fact that even thousands of miles away, Kris still manages to give him direction, something he’s always looked to him for. But Kris has broken up with him, and that in itself should make Kris free of any obligation he thinks he may have in taking care of Chanyeol.
“What,” Kris gruffly speaks.
“Why are you torturing your friends by forcing them to call me?” Chanyeol asks instead of the many other things he really wants to, like why are you so damn nice to me, I don’t deserve it.
“I’m not,” Kris corrects him. “And they’re your friends, too. Jongdae’s really concerned about how-“ He sighs when Chanyeol clears his throat. “Fine. Just… You’re in Rome, all by yourself and I just wanted to know if you’ve made it out of the airport alive.”
“I’m a grown man, Kris,” Chanyeol tells him. “I can take care of myself.”
“Oh yeah? Huh, I didn’t notice,” Kris shoots back. Chanyeol leans back on his seat and closes his eyes. Kris is quiet for a beat before speaking again. “I’m not helping… am I?”
Chanyeol doesn’t respond. He merely shifts in his seat and watches Rome’s great architecture brush past as the cab tries to speed through the traffic on the cobblestone streets. It’s been known that Rome is one of the most romantic cities in the world. In knowing that, Chanyeol has hoped that maybe he’d find some piece of himself back when he was still hopeful about love and not when he’d started settling.
“Look, I won’t… I just really wanted to know how you’re doing,” Kris speaks again. “If you need anything, you can always call me, no matter what it is.”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol whispers. “Bye.”
Kris ends the call and Chanyeol knows that he knows that they’re not going to speak for a while.
-
It’s Chanyeol’s fifth day in Rome and he believes he’s feeling a little less lost. He’s been walking around aimlessly, wanting to just take in everything with no particular hurry. He isn’t really there for sightseeing. He’s there, mostly just to get away, to find his footing and make sure he doesn’t lose it again.
He lifts his camera up just in time to catch a little girl running away from her mom seated in the café to the middle of the plaza to play with some pigeons. He checks the snapshot and smiles when it’s to his satisfaction.
It’s been many hours and moments like this for him. He just wanders around, taking photos, remembering when things were so much easier, so much more fun. He remembers Joonmyun, Jongin, Kyungsoo and Sehun. He remembers EXO and how suddenly having 12 brothers made him feel suffocated in the beginning, but ultimately made him feel less alone. Baekhyun always told him that he should be grateful for what he had because nothing lasts forever.
Baekhyun.
There are no truer words than those. Chanyeol thinks he’s forgotten to be grateful for all those years. He’s always known EXO wasn’t meant to last forever because, even if it’s a job in the entertainment industry, idols aren’t really like the stars in heaven that continue to emit bright light. They fade out and their shimmer dims and is forgotten. Most of all, he thinks he’s forgotten to be grateful for Baekhyun.
He’s never really said it out loud, much less told Baekhyun about it. Chanyeol believes that Baekhyun’s the best thing he’s gotten out of his whole idol experience. He’s trained for so many years and then in just an instant his life changed with Baekhyun’s arrival.
He still remembers walking to the train together after late night practices. He can still feel the cold that seeped into their thick jackets, can still see how he’d put his arm around the smaller male, can still feel how Baekhyun would cling to him. He still thinks back to the moment they found out they were debuting in the same group, that they would be placed in the same sub-group. They were actually going to be together like they’d always hoped.
Chanyeol is sure his life would have been very different if Baekhyun wasn’t in it. There would be no one to put a cap on his head to cover his embarrassing hair, or chide him when he wears his too-big shirts, or lightly pinch him when his laugh gets too loud. He would have no personal vocal coach, who’s willing to stay up late just for him until he got the notes and lyrics right. There would also be no one to lead him, to guide him. Baekhyun was like his own star, making sure he never lost his way.
Which was why when things abruptly changed between them, he felt like he was falling into a precipice with nothing to hold on to.
He takes a seat in one of the outer tables of the café and gently places his camera back into his backpack.
Kris was the one who caught him. He’d taken Chanyeol’s hand and helped him to stand upright until he could do it himself. In the process, the friendship he and Kris once shared morphed into something more. Soon it wasn’t Baekhyun he turned to for things. It became Kris.
He never really got the chance to make things right with Baekhyun; that poor explanation that he’d given him during the party where he and Kris announced their engagement doesn’t really count. It was rash and stupid and the very thing that caused the downfall of his relationship with Kris.
He had kissed Baekhyun then, and every moment he’d spent with Kris afterwards just felt like a lie. Because that kiss with Baekhyun had just felt so right.
“Good afternoon, sir,” a voice speaks up. “What would you like to-Chanyeol?!”
Chanyeol looks up, startled. “Baekhyun.”
-
“You what?” Sehun practically spits out and Chanyeol winces because he’s pretty sure the chips that were previously in Sehun’s mouth were scattered on some other surface now. “You mean to tell me that you saw Baekhyun. In Rome. Of all places, you-Chanyeol, please tell me that’s not the reason why you chose to travel to Rome.”
Chanyeol is quiet and he hears Sehun sigh loudly.
“What am I going to do with you?” Sehun asks tiredly.
“I’m pretty sure that whatever it is would be a good idea right about now,” Chanyeol bites his lower lip as he watches Baekhyun behind the counter. He breathes deeply. “I didn’t-I knew he was in Rome. But I didn’t know where exactly.”
“Lu Han told you, didn’t he?” Sehun finally says.
Chanyeol frowns as he pauses in realization. “Wait…you knew?”
“Everyone knew,” Sehun admits.
“Except for me,” Chanyeol whispers.
“It wasn’t exactly our place to tell,” Sehun apologizes. “Baekhyun was very specific in-“
Chanyeol immediately ends the call when Baekhyun comes back with his cup of coffee. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, to make Baekhyun possibly give him a minute of his time. But Baekhyun slips onto the seat across his, effectively making him shut up.
“How long have you been in Rome?” is the first question Baekhyun asks.
“I-almost a week,” Chanyeol answers.
“Where are you staying?” Baekhyun then asks, playing with the saltshaker on the table.
Chanyeol watches in fascination the way his slim fingers twirls the porcelain article. Those fingers have always been something that he’s loved about Baekhyun. He’s loved how they stroked his hair as he sang him to sleep, loved how they wrapped themselves around his own stubby fingers and-
“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun snaps him back to attention.
Chanyeol blinks as he gives the name of his hotel. “Why?” he asks in confusion.
Baekhyun taps the saltshaker twice on the table before placing it back in the middle and standing up. “I don’t have work tomorrow,” he says. “I’ll come by at nine.”
“What? Why?” Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot up so high on his forehead that his hair almost covers them. “You’re not-I didn’t think you would-“
“You don’t know anything about Rome. You’re not interested in culture, unless it has something to do with food. And, even after years of being tutored for it, you still don’t know how to speak English well,” Baekhyun enumerates. He breathes deeply and meets Chanyeol’s wide eyes. “Rome is the last place you would’ve thought to come to for vacation,” he tells him knowingly.
“I do know something about Rome. It’s the capital of Italy and it’s-I’m interested in culture, too, and I-“ Chanyeol tries to defend himself.
“I’ll swing by at 9 a.m.,” Baekhyun reminds him with an amused smile. “You better be in the lobby by then.” He taps the table and walks back to the counter, leaving Chanyeol gaping after him.
Chanyeol dials Sehun’s number once he’s gotten his bearings back.
“How did it go?” Sehun asks with an annoyed tone.
“I-he-“ Chanyeol swallows. “I think we’re going out tomorrow.”
“Really?” Sehun sounds genuinely surprised that it offends Chanyeol.
“Hey, he could’ve missed me as much as I missed him,” Chanyeol frowns. Granted that he’s surprised that Baekhyun had greeted him the way he did and that he seemed to have been the one to initiate the patching up that Chanyeol should have done years ago, there’s a small part in him that still hopes that Baekhyun’s felt the same way he has all this time.
“Chanyeol,” Sehun says, “he went to Rome to get away from you and not once has he ever talked to you. He’s never even asked about you. I’m not saying this to put you down. I’m just telling you so you don’t-“
“Get my hopes up,” Chanyeol finishes. He blows out a breath. Baekhyun is back behind the counter, laughing with a co-worker. “Of course, why would he miss me?”
“Chanyeol-“
“Listen, I have to go,” Chanyeol abruptly ends the conversation. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
He’s always wondered how Baekhyun was doing; thinking about how he’s doing with his work, whether he’s happy or whether he was dating someone new. He knows that Baekhyun’s gone out with a couple of guys when they ended their relationship rather ambiguously. He knows all about Daehyun and Himchan and even Tao.
And then they disbanded, and Baekhyun decided that he was going to go away, where Chanyeol found it impossible to find out how he was doing.
In hindsight, it was all very selfish and very unfair to Kris. But he can’t help but think how it was unfair for himself, too, not to know how Baekhyun is doing. His life had always seemed to revolve around Baekhyun ever since he’s met the smaller male. When Baekhyun decided to take himself out of his life, it took Chanyeol a while to get used to being without him.
Chanyeol takes a sip of his coffee, places a couple of bills on the table and gets up to leave. He and Baekhyun will have time tomorrow to face each other and maybe some of the issues that have been hounding both of them. Tomorrow, but not today. He shifts his camera bag on his shoulder and walks away from the café.
He doesn’t notice Baekhyun watching him leave.
-
Chanyeol isn’t really sure what he’s expecting when he gets to the hotel lobby, camera bag slung over his shoulder and heart on his sleeve. He’s so tired of having to hide it, having had to hide it; first, because of EXO, and then, because of Kris. And all the times he’s tried to hide it has just ended in disaster. So now he’s not hiding it, hurting it be damned.
“Hey,” Baekhyun greets him in a white shirt under a light brown jacket and dark jeans. “Ready?”
“What are we going to do today?” Chanyeol asks him, excited as Baekhyun links his arms with his.
Baekhyun pauses in his steps and looks up at him. Chanyeol can see the tiny freckles that have become more prominent over his nose and cheekbones. He sees the way Baekhyun’s lashes fan over his cheeks, sees the way his bangs are splayed over his forehead, almost covering his eyebrows. It makes Chanyeol want to reach up and brush his fingers over them just like he’s always used to.
“What do you want, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asks him.
There are many answers to that question, all of which lead back to Baekhyun. Instead of blurting out things that Baekhyun isn’t ready to hear, Chanyeol smiles and takes out a list of things that Sehun’s written down for him because, after all these years, no one still trusts him to not do things he isn’t supposed to do or embarrass himself with.
“I actually have a list,” Chanyeol proudly tells him, taking it out.
Baekhyun grabs it from him and laughs. “Sehun’s handwriting is still as ugly as ever,” he mutters as he studies it and as Chanyeol turns red. “Of course you want to go to the Colosseum; make a wish on the Trevi Fountain, sit on the Spanish Steps,” Baekhyun scoffs and Chanyeol turns red, “watch an opera, have authentic Italian food.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at this because there really isn’t fake Italian food in Italy. Then he smiles up at Chanyeol. “We can do all of this, of course not in one day, but we can.”
“You’ll come with me?” Chanyeol asks in amazement.
Baekhyun shrugs. “It’s the least I can do,” he says. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”
“That’s what I was thinking, too,” Chanyeol agrees eagerly.
“And we won’t see each other again after this,” Baekhyun adds. “So we might as well make the most of your trip.”
Chanyeol’s smile falters, but he tries hard not to show it. Just as hard as he tries not to show being heartbroken at the idea of not having Baekhyun in his life again.
-
“You do know that we haven’t arrived yet, right?” Baekhyun reminds Chanyeol, voice a mixture of amusement and irritation as Chanyeol snaps shot after shot of anything he gets fascinated by.
“SLR,” Chanyeol says as he waves his camera around, wiggling his eyebrows. “I will never run out of film because, hey what do you know, I don’t have film because I don’t need one.” He grins at Baekhyun as he takes a picture of a tiny cab that stopped to take in some passengers.
“You haven’t changed, have you?” Baekhyun says it with a small, somewhat fond smile on his face, like he’s remembering something. “You’re still too excited and too optimistic about everything.”
Chanyeol pauses at this and lowers his camera to pretend to go through the pictures he’s just taken. “I guess,” he chuckles lightly. “You know me.” Not at all would have been a more appropriate answer because the very thing he used to be optimistic about seem to have been slipping too easily from his grasp. He looks up and smiles at Baekhyun’s startled expression. “We’re here!” he announces.
Chanyeol grabs Baekhyun’s hand and drags him to a spot where the whole Colosseum looms behind him in a beautiful backdrop. He takes a couple of steps back and places his camera to his face.
“Chanyeol, I’ve been here countless of times,” Baekhyun calls out to him.
“Smile!” Chanyeol directs, and Baekhyun smiles and poses anyway as Chanyeol had known he would.
It’s been a while since he’s taken a photo of Baekhyun. Chanyeol has taken countless pictures of Baekhyun, because no matter how many times Baekhyun says that he doesn’t like it, he really does. And Chanyeol does, too. He thinks back to that small box of photos of Baekhyun, as creepy as it sounds, that he used to have. Chanyeol has always thought that Baekhyun was beautiful and not because he looked delicate, but because he really is beautiful, and Chanyeol always thought that if he could have a snapshot of his beauty, of Baekhyun, with him all the time, then that was good enough for him. But it was never enough. Because nothing is good enough compared to the real thing.
“Are you done?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes as Chanyeol nods like an overly eager puppy. “Great! Let’s go in!”
Chanyeol hopes Baekhyun doesn’t hear his gasp when Baekhyun takes his hand in his.
-
“How’s everyone?” Baekhyun asks as he takes a big bite out of his sandwich.
After the Colosseum, Baekhyun suggested they go to the Gardens of the Villa Borghese and just walk around. Chanyeol had to admit that it was a nice change from the intensity of the Colosseum, more down-to-earth and relaxing. Baekhyun had taken him to the hill behind Trastevere and the Gianicolo and sat down on the grass to eat and watch moms fuss over their children feeding the turtles at the pond.
Chanyeol chuckles. “Oh, you know, everyone’s pretty much the same,” he answers. “Sehun’s been delving into acting, Jongin’s still dancing, Lu Han’s still singing, Jongdae is MCing…” He shrugs.
“How lovely,” Baekhyun dryly responds with an eye roll at the level of information that Chanyeol just shared. “Jongdae tells me that Kyuhyun’s been really tough on coaching him. All his practice comebacks and comments have been received with much criticism apparently. And Joonmyun keeps on complaining because he’s still been playing leader and mother to Tao, who still keeps on missing everyone so much.” He chuckles and Chanyeol gapes at him.
“You… you talk to Jongdae? And Joonmyun?” Chanyeol asks.
Baekhyun chews quietly. “Sometimes,” he answers softly, not meeting his eyes, because it’s clear that Baekhyun only never talks to Chanyeol anymore. And maybe Kris.
“They all miss you, you know,” Chanyeol says. I miss you.
Baekhyun waves the statement off dismissively. “Everyone’s too busy to do that,” he says. He finally looks up and meets Chanyeol’s eyes. “How have you been? What have you been up to?”
Chanyeol shrugs. He really hasn’t done much since EXO disbanded. He’s done some show guestings here and there and got a couple of acting gigs. Right before he left for Rome, the company had presented him with an idea of going solo where he can rap or play the guitar. Chanyeol said he’d think about it and got on a plane.
“I can see you doing that,” Baekhyun says. “I mean, you always were too big and too bright for EXO.”
“What does that mean?” Chanyeol narrows his eyes as Baekhyun shoots him a teasing smile, even though he knows Baekhyun didn’t mean it in a bad way.
“It means you’ve always been too full of yourself and always wanted more of the spotlight,” Baekhyun elaborates. “Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
Chanyeol scoffs. “Don’t downplay it.”
Baekhyun laughs. “Hey, I’m not the one who chose himself as the one who girls like the most.”
“It’s been years since I’ve said that,” Chanyeol groans. “Will you let that go already?”
“Fine, fine,” Baekhyun laughs. “We all know it’s really Kris anyway-“ His eyes widen slightly and he coughs uncomfortably into his palm. “How-how is Kris?”
“Still a saint,” Chanyeol mutters, not quite looking at Baekhyun. He knows that Baekhyun knows about their break-up. Anyone who knows Jongdae probably knows about it, which just means that everyone knows.
“Are you guys doing okay?” Baekhyun gently asks, fidgeting with his hands.
“Yeah,” Chanyeol sighs. “We’re okay. You know how Kris is.”
“He really loved you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun tells him in such a quiet voice that Chanyeol almost doesn’t hear him.
Chanyeol falls quiet at that, turning to watch the passing joggers and dog walkers instead. He doesn’t even want to know how Baekhyun knows that, doesn’t want to entertain the fact that Baekhyun might even talk to Kris more than him. Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun even knows why he and Kris broke up.
“I used to come here all the time.” Baekhyun’s voice breaks through Chanyeol’s thoughts and he turns to look at the smaller male. “When I first arrived,” Baekhyun clarifies with a pensive smile. “I used to watch people the way you’re doing now.”
“Like what?” Chanyeol asks, confused.
“Like you’re looking for answers,” Baekhyun says, looking away. He stands up and dusts off his pants. “We should head back to your hotel. You look tired.” He picks up his bag and takes his trash.
Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun walks off to throw them into the nearest trashcan and wonders how Baekhyun can still read him very well, while Chanyeol is left with practically no clue as to what Baekhyun’s really thinking. He used to pride himself in being the best person to know what Baekhyun’s thinking, the one who can tell whether he’s faking anger or whether he’s really upset. Right now, he can’t even tell if Baekhyun’s actually happy with his life, whether he’s moved on. Not that Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to have not moved on. But he clings to the hope that maybe Baekhyun still has feelings for him.
-
“You sound weird.”
“I tell you how my day was and that’s your reply?” Chanyeol says incredulously. He’s lying on his bed, the television on mute, playing with the chord of the phone.
“What do you want me to say?” Sehun drawls. “You’re weird. That’s probably more accurate.”
“I don’t think he feels anything for me anymore,” Chanyeol mutters. “He’s not the same.”
“Were you expecting him to be?” Sehun asks.
“No,” Chanyeol says. “Not really. But I don’t know. I was kind of hoping that… forget it. I’m obviously delusional.”
Sehun sighs. “Stop moping and stop thinking,” he demands. “The important thing is you’re with him. You have him to yourself in one of the most romantic cities in the world. Think of what happens after when it comes. Don’t be dumb and get ahead of yourself.”
“I should tell Joonmyun how much more disrespectful you’ve become,” Chanyeol mutters even though he’s planning to take Sehun’s advice to heart.
“You know I’m right.” And Chanyeol can just imagine Sehun rolling his eyes. Never before has he gotten the strongest urge to strangle the maknae. “How is he?”
“He’s the same.” Chanyeol tries not to focus so much on the fact that Baekhyun is brighter and more beautiful than ever. He tries not to think about how everything about him just screams the one who got away and that Chanyeol just wants to slap himself over and over at the fact that he let this happen. That he let this happen to the both of them.
“I can’t believe that after all these years…” Sehun trails away. “Be careful, Chanyeol. It has been years. You may think he’s the same but really he may have changed.”
Chanyeol sighs and closes his eyes.
-
The Trevi Fountain may be one of the most popular and one of the most advertised attractions of Rome, but no one really mentions how crowded it can get. Chanyeol clenches his jaw, swallowing his groan, as his foot gets squashed for the nth time.
“Sorry that was me,” Baekhyun breathes apologetically, glancing behind him at Chanyeol while he holds his hands in front of him so he can help in parting the crowd.
Chanyeol merely shakes his head at him, a small smile on his face, before he’s wrapping an arm around Baekhyun and moving out of the way so roughly that Baekhyun is left breathless.
“Watch it!” Chanyeol practically growls at some of the guys pushing their way to get away from the fountain. He looks down at Baekhyun, who looks a bit winded. “Are you okay?” he asks when the reach the edge of the fountain. He finds a rare empty spot and sits Baekhyun down before crouching down in front of him.
“Fine,” Baekhyun assures him, brushing his hair away from his face.
“Okay. I’ll just go get you some water,” Chanyeol says, moving to stand up. “I think I saw a stand nearby.” He turns to leave but Baekhyun grabs hold of his wrist.
“Just stay here,” Baekhyun says, not quite looking at Chanyeol. “We can get water later.”
Chanyeol nods, staying standing up as he watches people throw coins into the fountain, their wishes up in the air. He’s not sure if Baekhyun, who was never really one for crowds, is still a bit shaken or if this sudden surge of affection is just a random thing. Memories of going through crowds like this with his arms around Baekhyun overwhelm him, especially with Baekhyun’s hand warming his wrist.
Later on, Chanyeol throws a coin into the fountain. He wishes for more touches like this, endless if possible, until he has to leave.
-
“Are you… sure about this?” Chanyeol looks dubious as Baekhyun practically lugs around three tubs of gelato and puts them on the table in front of the television.
“This is how they do it here,” Baekhyun assures him, looking pleased. He opens each of the tubs, flavors raspberry, suisine and the standard chocolate all beam at them. “Il Gelato di San Crispino don’t sell ice cream in cones because it interferes with the flavors or something.” He wrinkles his nose in a way that Chanyeol remembers all too well and in a way that makes him want to lean forward and kiss him.
“Mm,” is Chanyeol’s only comment as Baekhyun hands him a spoon before proceeding to turn on the television and the DVD player.
They sit side by side, each holding a tub, Baekhyun’s, raspberry, and Chanyeol’s, chocolate, as they start watching some Italian film that Baekhyun says is quite a hit. Chanyeol gets absorbed in the movie, forgetting about the ice cream, which he put back on the table to melt. It’s only an hour later that he realizes that Baekhyun has stopped making commentary and has actually nodded off.
Chanyeol snickers quietly and takes the tub of ice cream from Baekhyun’s hands to put back on the table as well. It’s a split-second decision when Chanyeol carefully puts his arm around Baekhyun to pull him closer to him, making Baekhyun’s head fall on his shoulder. But he finds himself unable to concentrate on the movie any longer. He puts it on mute and focuses on Baekhyun’s even breathing.
It’s a lifetime ago since he’s gotten to hold Baekhyun like this. Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s first choice to cling on or to cuddle with. They had just gotten into that groove of a relationship ever since Chanyeol had offered to take Baekhyun home each time their training sessions ended like it was the most natural thing in the world. Baekhyun would always link their arms together or he’d snuggle under Chanyeol’s arm. Sometimes, he’d even jump onto Chanyeol’s back and he’d have to carry the smaller male around the rest of the time like that. What Chanyeol likes the most though is when Baekhyun would lace their fingers together. It’s a simple gesture, maybe less intimate than snuggling, but Chanyeol feels it holds the most meaning.
Carding gentle fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, Chanyeol starts humming a song he’d composed two months after his broken engagement with Kris, five years after Baekhyun started pulling away from him.
If I could write the fates of our lives
If I could steal the sun from the skies
I’d make this moment last forever
And always be the apple of your eye
I’m the one that breaks your heart
So you get back to the start
And I’m the reason you’ll make sure the next one’s right
Cause my pride gives me regrets
When you’re happy, I’m upset
And I’m the reason you believed
In this romance
It’s not like in the movies
Where happy endings get a play
Fast forward, rewind baby
Chanyeol closes his eyes and sighs. He really wants to make things right with Baekhyun; wants them to be right in such a way that Baekhyun would accept his feelings and return them. Thinking back to the Trevi Fountain, he wonders if wishes made through that fountain really do come true.
-
Chanyeol grumbles as he tries to knot his necktie. He glares down at it, as if willing it to catch on fire, while trying to loop it all over itself. There’s a sound of a door opening and a chuckle before slender hands take over for him.
“Five years of wearing suits hasn’t taught you anything, hasn’t it?” Baekhyun teases him as he fixes Chanyeol’s tie with ease.
“Well it has been a lot more years since then,” Chanyeol chokes out, barely managing to answer as he takes in the sight of Baekhyun looking even more dashing in a dark suit and bowtie around his neck. He vaguely remembers those five years of the two of them complaining of having to wear such stiff penguin suits for certain events. “Is this really necessary?” he blurts out when Baekhyun catches him staring.
“Like how it was necessary all those years ago,” Baekhyun says, gently patting Chanyeol’s tie and turning away to hide his pink cheeks. “Besides, it’s the Opera. No one waltzes into Teatro dell-Opera di Roma-Teatro Constanzi,” he continues and Chanyeol wrinkles his nose at the mouthful, “looking like they just got out of bed.” He gives Chanyeol a pointed look.
“I do not always look like I just got out of bed,” Chanyeol defends himself. “I comb my hair now.”
Baekhyun’s eyes flicker up fondly to Chanyeol’s dark locks. “That you do,” he mutters before he’s grabbing their coats, shoving Chanyeol’s to him, and they’re leaving Baekhyun’s apartment.
They reach the theatre without fanfare and an usher guides them into one of the boxes, giving them a magnificent view of the stage. Chanyeol squirms in his seat, uncomfortable at the fact that Baekhyun probably spent a fortune to get them these seats. When he thinks about it, Baekhyun’s been paying for everything that they’ve been doing together. From the Colosseum to the St. Peter’s Basilica and Sistine Chapel tour to the Vittoriano and the Pantheon, Baekhyun foot the bill for everything without so much as batting an eyelash and Chanyeol just doesn’t know what to think. It’s been years since they saw each other and the first thing that Chanyeol does when they do is make Baekhyun pay for everything. It makes him cringe.
“Are you okay?” Baekhyun nudges him lightly, leaning towards him.
“These must cost a fortune,” Chanyeol voices out.
Baekhyun waves it off dismissively. “These seats have the best acoustics,” is all he says.
“Still,” Chanyeol lamely retorts.
“I’ve learned not to care so much about technicalities anymore.” Baekhyun shakes his head. “When I want something, I go for it, no matter what. Live life to the fullest, you know? Now, shush, and enjoy the show.”
Chanyeol’s chest constricts as Baekhyun’s words strike his heart. He knows Baekhyun didn’t intend those words specifically for him, but it just feels like a lesson for him. How long has it been since he’s gone for what he wanted? He glances at Baekhyun, who’s enraptured by the show, and realizes that’s what the whole Rome trip is for. It’s for Chanyeol to finally go for something he’s always wanted.
-
“You’ve got to stop walking on cloud nine, Chanyeol,” Sehun tells him, clearly exasperated.
“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t ever done that,” Chanyeol almost snaps. “At least not with Baekhyun.”
“Yes, you have,” Sehun corrects him. “You’ve been doing it all this time. You’ve had feelings for him ever since we were trainees and until now, you’re still holding on to that thread of hope you’ve always had. Even when you were engaged to Kris.” He pauses as if waiting for Chanyeol to say something. When he doesn’t, he continues, “You’ve always been on it, Yeol. Because if you aren’t, you would be over him by now. And you wouldn’t be in Rome right now.”
“I can’t give up,” Chanyeol whispers, squeezing his eyes shut as he turns to his side on his bed.
Right after the Opera, Baekhyun had dropped him off to his hotel. Chanyeol had lingered outside, shifting his feet, antsy about something he can’t even express. Tomorrow is his last day. After a month in the Eternal City, Chanyeol feels like he’s done nothing but fall even more in love with Baekhyun. So he’s not quite sure how he’s going to leave.
“Well you have one more day,” Sehun encourages him halfheartedly.
-
Baekhyun brings Chanyeol to Piazza del Popolo after lunch to satisfy his thirst for photography. It’s the perfect place because there are so many things to take pictures of. Chanyeol grins at Baekhyun, who hangs back and sits by the steps of the church of Santa Maria del Popolo, while he goes off to take snapshots of anything that he deems interesting.
“Good a lot of good shots?” Baekhyun asks when Chanyeol finally joins him at the steps.
“I guess,” Chanyeol says, returning his camera back into his bag.
Baekhyun frowns at him. “Everything okay? Did you want to do something else? We can go Piazza Navona and-“
“Let’s just sit here,” Chanyeol suggests instead.
Chanyeol sighs and hangs his head, keeping his hands clasped together. He’s not sure what he’s doing asking Baekhyun to just sit and be quiet with him. It’s a dangerous thing because it’s in the quiet that he thinks about Baekhyun and how things were and how they could be. It’s the reason why he calls Sehun so much when he’s alone. Because he doesn’t want being alone with those thoughts. Now he isn’t alone, except he’s with the source of all his heartache and dreams.
He’s leaving tomorrow. He’s going to go on a plane, go back to Seoul, and leave Baekhyun behind. There’s something that feels so wrong about that picture. It makes him feel like it’s what he’s been doing all this time, getting up and leaving Baekhyun.
“So…” Baekhyun breaks the silence, seemingly nervous. Chanyeol lifts his head. “Are you done packing?”
Chanyeol shrugs. “I never really unpacked.”
“Oh,” Baekhyun responds with a nod and a chuckle. “Of course.”
“Do you ever miss it?” Chanyeol asks this time after another couple of minutes of silence between them. Baekhyun gives him a questioning look. “Seoul. Korea,” he elaborates with a half shrug. “Home.”
Baekhyun smiles a little and plays with his fingers. “Sure I do,” he honestly answers. He watches a little boy beg his mother for a cone of ice cream. “It’s hard being away. I couldn’t just look over my shoulder and expect to talk to Lu Han or Jongdae. I mean I could call them, but it’s not the same.”
“So why don’t you come home?” Chanyeol asks pointedly.
Baekhyun’s eyes flicker towards his intent gaze. “There isn’t really anything…” He shakes his head. “I’m trying to start over. I want to go on some sort of vacation before going back.”
“Isn’t this vacation long enough?” Chanyeol demands, even though he knows that he shouldn’t. This is stepping over an unspoken boundary. He has no right to tell Baekhyun such things anymore, much less demand anything from him. “It’s been so many months since you’ve been away and-“
“What’s it to you?” Baekhyun snaps. “It’s none of your business. We haven’t talked in a long time. You don’t know me anymore.” He gets up and dusts his pants before taking a couple of steps down.
Chanyeol hurriedly goes after him and grabs his wrist. “I know that,” he tells him when Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “You think I don’t know that you’re not the same anymore? You think I enjoy not having talked to you properly in years? You think I don’t regret anything?”
Baekhyun squirms under his gaze. “Chanyeol, don’t do this,” he pleads.
“I want to know you again, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol plunges on. “I want to get to know you again.” He swallows nervously. “If you’ll let me.”
Baekhyun is quiet for a minute. Chanyeol watches as Baekhyun’s shoulders tense as he sees Chanyeol’s hand on his wrist. Baekhyun untangles from Chanyeol’s hold and shakes his head.
“You can’t just… waltz in every time you think it’s okay to and then walk away when things start becoming inconvenient,” Baekhyun speaks.
“What are you talking about?” Chanyeol looks confused, brows furrowed.
“You never…” Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “You never even asked me what was going on, never tried to talk to me-“
“I did!” Chanyeol cuts him off. “I did! You never even gave me a chance. You didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t know what else to do so I stopped.”
Baekhyun smiles at him, close-lipped. “That’s that then,” he says, turning around.
Chanyeol makes him face back again. “That’s not that,” he insists. “What did you want me to do? What do you think I should have done?”
Baekhyun looks at him Chanyeol sees the Baekhyun from back then, the Baekhyun who was his best friend, the one who cared a lot about him even if he’s a big doofus. There’s fondness behind the shuttered look and Chanyeol wonders what he could have done to keep that fondness held back.
“If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you,” Baekhyun says, finally managing to walk away.
-
Sehun is quiet after Chanyeol spent a half hour whining about how he doesn’t know what Baekhyun was talking about when he said that he shouldn’t waltz in and out as he chooses. Chanyeol is agonizing over it because Baekhyun just dropped him off at his hotel and left with merely “I’ll see you off at the airport”. He feels like the past month they spent together has all gone to waste with that stupid confrontation.
“Sehun, did you hear me?” Chanyeol grumbles.
“Chanyeol, just sleep on it,” Sehun quietly tells him. “You barely have time to sleep before your flight tomorrow.”
“You know something,” Chanyeol suspiciously states. “You have an opinion on this.”
“Chanyeol,” Sehun sighs.
“What is it? Tell me. I can take it,” Chanyeol persists, sitting up on his bed.
Sehun takes another deep breath. “When Baekhyun started avoiding you, you never really pursued talking to him about it. You-“
“I did,” Chanyeol interjects stoutly. “I did, but he wouldn’t even let me get a word out. He would just turn away and look for Lu Han.”
“Okay, maybe for a week or so you did,” Sehun maintains. “But after that you didn’t really do anything anymore. Sure, you gave him these longing looks and sulked around like a child but didn’t do anything else.”
“I did,” Chanyeol repeats, shaking his head even if Sehun can’t see him. “I even kept on telling Kris that I didn’t know how to get Baekhyun to talk to me.”
“That’s just it, Chanyeol,” Sehun patiently says. “You talked to Kris, not to Baekhyun. And then you enjoyed being with Kris so much that you seemed to just…forget why you were even talking to him in the first place.”
Chanyeol grips his phone tighter and squeezes his eyes shut. That couldn’t have been what happened. He really tried talking to Baekhyun, tried to understand what happened that he wouldn’t even look at him anymore. Kris was there, encouraging him through it all, but nothing more than that. How can he forget about Baekhyun when, after all these years, he still thinks about him and what happened?
“I don’t know what to say,” Chanyeol whispers, bowing his head.
“The night of the engagement party,” Sehun starts and Chanyeol lifts his head up with a gasp. “At one window of opportunity, a moment of weakness, Yeol, you kissed Baekhyun but you went back to Kris, because you were engaged. I mean, I’m not blaming you, but how did you think Baekhyun was going to feel about that?”
“He doesn’t believe me anymore,” Chanyeol realizes. “He thinks I’m here because Kris and I broke up. He thinks he’s rebound and-no.” He buries his face in one hand. “He’s got it wrong. He’s got it backwards.”
“Maybe you should let it go,” Sehun uncertainly suggests. “You’ve been at this for so long. Don’t you think it’s time you let your heart rest?”
Chanyeol lies back down on the bed and stares at the ceiling. All the years of his life with Baekhyun ending with one final goodbye tomorrow is something he can’t even begin to comprehend.
-
Chanyeol has never dreaded stepping into an airport until that moment. He’s always hated it because of the crowd the fans formed, but now, even with the fans, he thinks this is the worst he’s ever hated it. Because Baekhyun is standing beside him, to show him off, pushing him away from his life forever.
“Baekhyun-“
“I’m assuming you packed well,” Baekhyun interrupts, not meeting his eyes and staring at a spot on Chanyeol’s shoulder instead. “I hope you didn’t forget anything at the airport and then call me to ship things back to you.”
“Baek-“
“I put some medicines on the side of your bag,” Baekhyun cuts him off once more. “For headache and for dizziness when you’re on the plane, since I’m pretty sure you’ve forgotten to get some again.”
“Bae-“
“It’s a long flight,” Baekhyun says this time, reaching up to fix the collar of his cardigan. Slowly, he allows himself to finally meet Chanyeol’s eyes. “I hope you remember where you put your boarding passes and your passport and I hope you don’t leave your bag anywhere in the airport during the layover-“
“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol sternly interjects. “This isn’t me waltzing into your life and waltzing back out again, just like all those times before. I have never left. And I wouldn’t again if you still think that. This is just me getting on a plane to Seoul.” He bravely reaches out and holds Baekhyun’s hand, searching for something like hope in his eyes. “I will come back.”
Baekhyun lets out a shaky breath and laughs. “Chanyeol, stop. This isn’t-“
Chanyeol swoops down for a kiss. He wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s waist when he feels Baekhyun responding with a tilt of his head and a soft hand on his cheek. This is exactly what he meant about the kiss with Baekhyun feeling right. It may feel like it’s been too late, but it’s better to have happened now or at all than never. Other may people think that he should have given up on Baekhyun long ago, but he really couldn’t have done that. Not when there’s this kind of feeling existing in the world, one that Baekhyun makes him feel.
Kris had told him that not a lot of people find love that they don’t want to let go of. Chanyeol thinks he’s right, and while he had hurt Kris to realize that, he doesn’t think he can let Baekhyun go.
Baekhyun pulls away with a giggle in hearing the PA system announcing Chanyeol’s flight. “Okay, that's enough. I get your point. You’re going to miss your plane,” he says, lips red, hands resting on Chanyeol’s chest.
“Would that be so bad?” Chanyeol asks with a dorky grin on his face. He’s never felt this happy before. He never actually thought that Baekhyun would ever come back to him.
“Yes,” Baekhyun says, rolling his eyes, grinning back. “You have work, obligations.” He smiles fondly, eyes sparkling, when he stands on tiptoe to give him another kiss. “We will see each other again. We still have a lot we need to talk about.”
“Yes, I’ll come back. I promise,” Chanyeol tells him through another kiss. “So we’re okay? You believe me?”
“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun starts.
“I’m not even going to bother getting on that plane if you still don’t,” Chanyeol resolutely declares, putting his bags down.
“Yes, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun immediately but earnestly says. “I do. I think I’ve always…” He laughs nervously. “You have to go,” he tells him when the PA system calls again for Chanyeol’s flight.
“Okay,” Chanyeol sighs, nodding. “See you soon.”
Chanyeol steals another sloppy kiss, making Baekhyun laugh, before he’s running towards his gate.
-
“So you left?!” Lu Han practically yells, making Chanyeol duck in case Lu Han threw some hard object at him. Joonmyun puts his book down to frown at Lu Han, who has the grace to smile sheepishly.
“Whipped,” Sehun snickers. Lu Han smacks the back of his head.
“Why would you leave?” Lu Han demands from Chanyeol. “You could have stayed and talked instead of putting thousands of miles between you again. When do you think you’ll be able to come back?”
“I just talked to him last night,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes. “I’m booking my flight for next week tomorrow. Relax.”
“Relax? Relax?” Lu Han bares his teeth. “You’re not the one who’s had to calm him down and make him stop crying every time you-“
Chanyeol frowns. No one’s ever really told him to his face just how badly he’d hurt Baekhyun even if he knows. “I’m sorry, okay? I really am,” he declares with a pout. “I’m not going to hurt him again. In fact,” he decides, standing up to go to his room, “I’ll start packing now just to show you how dedicated I am to-“
“Look who’s here!” Jongdae announces.
Baekhyun is standing in the hallway of his apartment, his bags on the floor.
“Hi?” Baekhyun laughs uncertainly at the dumbstruck expression on Chanyeol’s face.
Chanyeol rushes towards him and lifts him off the ground, his face buried on the crook of his neck. “You’re here,” he mumbles.
“I am,” Baekhyun confirms. He cups Chanyeol’s face when Chanyeol finally plants him back to the ground. “I am.”
Chanyeol kisses him.
There is still a lot they have to discuss, things about their relationship they’ve never touched on before and catch up on those years they never spoke, but for now Chanyeol thinks he’s just going to be happy that Baekhyun gave him a chance to make things right between them.
“Everyone missed you,” Chanyeol tells him later, reaching for his hand.
Baekhyun smiles at him and interlaces their fingers together.