Comment Fic: You Know What They Say...
Heh, so much for going to sleep. I just had to finish this instead.
Title: You Know What They Say...
Fandom: J2 AU
Rating: PG13, maybe? I'm never sure what to rate it when it's just language.
Summary: When Jensen separates from his friends and goes hiking through the forest alone, he never expects to find who, or what, he meets there.
A/N: Written for the Crack Open The AU Cans comment fic meme. My prompt was hiker!Jensen and Big Foot!Jared. This didn't turn out as cracky as I expected it to be. And the title, really has nothing to do with the fic itself. It just amused me, and I couldn't think of anything else.
Jensen rests his hands on his knees, panting heavily. His backpack shifts against him and he leans forward a little more, balancing the weight on his back, the change in position lessening the strain against his shoulders.
He probably should have listened to Steve when he said that Jensen was too out of shape for a hike like this, but Chris really had started to piss him off with all his movie star, city boy comments, and four years ago he could have hiked up these hills with an ease and energy that neither of them could ever match. Not that he had a chance to compare them now, the fuckers, insisting on staying on the trail while he took off the harder way, through the brush and up the steep side of the hill.
Alone.
Jensen straightens up with a groan. Maybe Steve was right. Maybe he was too goddamned stubborn for his own good.
He sighs and reaches to the side pocket of his pack, pulling out the water bottle. He takes a few gulps and turns around, eyes scanning the woods around him, searching for the best way to get him up the next ridge of the hill. There’s a few fallen trees to the right of him, a steep, sharp incline--practically a wall--just in front, a few boulders a little to the left and--
He freezes. Looks back at the boulders. Sitting on one of the rocks is an enormous, furry thing. It’s human shaped, with long arms and huge feet and hands that look like they could crush Jensen with just a touch.
And it’s staring right at him.
He gasps and drops the water, backing rapidly away. His foot steps on a fallen branch and he stumbles, falling backwards onto his backpack. In a panic he tries to crawl backward, to get away, however he can, but he just backs up against a tree. The creature leans forward on the boulder, still watching him and Jensen flinches, eyes wide with horror.
He left Chris and Steve hours ago. The trail that lead to their designated campsite was long and winding, so Jensen knew that it would be hours before they even found out that he never made it to the camp, and he knew screaming was useless. He’s all alone out here, nothing but the woods and seven foot tall, looming monster. He pats desperately at the ground around him, looking for anything, anything, that can be used as a weapon, breath coming in sharp gasps, heartbeat pounding with the pure terror that ran through him.
“You’re going to scream, aren’t you.”
Jensen jerked back against the tree, shocked. Holy shit. It can talk?
The thing, the monster, hasn’t moved from it’s spot on the boulder. And it’s still just staring at him, both palms flat against the rock as it just leans back, practically lounging in the evening sunlight.
“Really,” it says. It’s voice is smooth, deep and far, far too human. “You need to calm down. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”
Jensen stares at it. Takes a few deep, calming breaths, and stares at it some more. It stares calmly back at him, one furry, humongous foot tapping idly against the rock, and Jensen wonders vaguely if Chris spiked his water with something.
This really can’t be happening.
When the thing doesn’t say anything else, just continues to look at him, expectantly, like he’s waiting for his response, Jensen takes another, shaky breath and sits up. “You know, if I were to have a heart attack, I’m pretty sure you’re the one who would have given it to me.”
“Hey man, I was just sitting here, minding my own business. You were the one who came bumbling through my forest and then had a panic attack when you saw me.”
Well. That was true. But what was he supposed to do when he saw it? A man doesn’t exactly expect health concern and genial conversation from the monster he encounters alone in a forest.
Though, now that he’s got a better look at the creature, it doesn’t look completely monstrous. Big? Yes. Furry? Oh yeah. But the more he looks at it, the more Jensen thinks he just looks like a very tall, very hairy man.
Jensen tugs off his pack and stands up, taking a few cautious steps forward. The creature doesn’t move. “So… what are you?” Jensen hesitantly asks. “Big Foot?”
It sighs. “You people are all alike. It’s all ‘Big Foot this’ and “Big Foot that.’ I have a name you know.” It huffs and leans forward on it’s hands, staring accusingly at Jensen. “How do you think it feels to be described only by your most prominent physical feature, huh? How would you like to be called ‘Freckles’ all the time, or ‘Bowlegs?’ Would you like that?”
“No, uh,” Jensen rubs at his neck and shifts awkwardly on his feet. “I guess not.”
Jesus. Not only has he met a walking, talking myth during his hike, but now he’s managed to insult the thing. What a weird fucking day.
It huffs again, “Exactly.” It leans back, and kicks one (admittedly, very large) foot into the air in frustration. “It’s enough to give a guy a complex.”
“Right,” says Jensen. He looks around, spots his water bottle in the grass a few feet away, considers the drugged water idea again. Really can’t be real. He flicks he gaze back to the creature. “So, uh, what is it? Your name, I mean?”
It smiles at him, the long, tangled hair around his face parting to reveal surprisingly straight, white teeth. “Jared.”
“Oh. Well, hi Jared. I’m Jensen.”
The thing--Jared--practically beams at him. It should be scary, having a seven foot myth monster baring it’s teeth at him, practically grinning like a loon, but Jensen just thinks it looks… goofy. And strangely adorable.
God. What a crazy fucking day.
Taking the chance that Jared isn’t the type of mythical creature that smiles and chats with people before he kills and eats them, Jensen takes a few more steps forward and leans against a boulder beside the one Jared is sitting on. “So…” he scrounges around his brain for some kind of conversation topic. What does a person say to something that shouldn’t even exist? “You live around here?”
Inside, he cringes. That sounded like a bad chat up line.
But Jared just shrugs. “Yeah. Have my whole life, all three hundred and twenty-six years of it.”
Jensen jaw drops. “Three hundred and twenty-six…” his voice trails off.
Jared looks down at him, and if possible, Jensen would say he smirks. “My species has a significantly longer lifespan than yours.”
“Your species?” Jensen blinks stupidly at him, imagining hundreds, even thousands of others like him that the human race doesn’t even know about.
Jared shrugs again, but this time it’s slower, not as careless. “Well, there’s not really a species anymore, I guess. Just me.” His voice goes quiet. “Been like that for a while now.”
“Oh. That’s…” Really sad. But Jensen isn’t sure he should say that. “That sucks.”
“Yeah, well.” Jared shrugs once more, as if indifferent, but Jensen can tell that it’s feigned. “I’ve gotten used to it.”
Jensen doesn’t know what to say to that. That sucks would be redundant, and I’m sorry would just be awkward, so he stays quiet. He leans more against the boulder, watches the fading light on the trees, flickering little glances at his strange companion every few seconds. The silence stretches until Jensen can’t stand it anymore, and he just starts grasping at something else to say when Jared speaks up.
“So what are you doing hiking alone, anyway? You know that is monumentally stupid, don’t you?”
Jensen shoots him a glare. “Who are you, Steve? I was doing just find on my own, thank you.”
Jared snorts, and Jensen is struck again by oddly human he seems. “Right. ‘Just fine.’ You know, you might have twisted your ankle or something when you fell back there. And I could’ve been the sort of person who would just leave you there, all on your own, to rot. I’m not that sort of person, but I could have been. And then what would you have done?”
Jensen pushes passed the surrealism of having a huge, furry, mythical creature refer to itself as a “person” and lecture him on safety precautions and just scowls at him. “I’m sure I would have thought of something,” he mutters sulkily.
Jared rolls his eyes, which Jensen suddenly notices are a sort of hazel colored, angled sort of like a fox, but still distinctly human looking. “Right. I’m sure you would have. Who is Steve anyway?”
Jensen lets the sarcasm go. “One of the friends I came hiking with,” he tells him.
“And where are these friends now?”
“They stayed on the trail that circles around here. I wanted to take a more direct way to the campsite, so I left it.”
Jared raises one massive eyebrow. “And they just let you? Alone?”
“Well, I left because I had a sort of argument with Chris--my other friend--and well, Steve will always go with Chris.” Jensen falls silent, contemplating that. It didn’t used to be that way. He’d been the one to introduce those two, and for years it had always been Chris and Jensen, or Steve and Jensen, or Steve, Chris and Jensen. But, he’d been away for years, too focused on his career to take the time off and get together with them as much as he’d like, and things change.
Jensen sighs and looks around, noticing for the first time how dark it was getting. “Shit. I better get back to them. By the time I make it to the camp it’s gonna be dark.” He pushes off the rock he was leaning against, and heads toward his pack.
“Wait!” Jared call and Jensen stops, turns around. Jared shuffles a little bit on the rock, looking down, and if Jensen didn’t know better, he’d say he was nervous. “Um,” Jared starts, biting the lower lip just visible above the hair, “It is getting dark, and you know, it’s rather dangerous to walk through dark alone around here and I live really close by…” he trails off, gesturing in one direction with a massive hand.
Jensen stares at him, not sure what to say. Was Big Foot trying to take him home?
Jared takes a deep breath, shuffles a little more, and Jensen decides he really must be nervous. “It’s just, the last person who actually stopped and talked to me was three years ago. Everyone else just screams and runs away, and then a group of tourist comes tromping through here with cameras, and I have to hide out in my cave for days and I just… get lonely sometimes.” The last is mumbled to big, furry knees. “I’ll show you the way back to your campsite, after. So you won’t get lost in the dark.”
Jared had looked up as he said the last part, and Jensen is met with big, pleading (and all too human) eyes. He takes a breath, and gives him a shaky smile. “Oh, what the hell. Sure. I can hang out for a few more hours.”
The grin he gets in return is big and wide and very, very bright against the dark hair on his face, and Jensen thinks it’s worth even dealing with Chris and Steve‘s anger and worry when he gets back to the camp late. This whole trip was about taking the time to experience things he couldn’t while working, and how often does one come across, a real life--and really friendly--legend? Besides, Jensen think, he likes Jared. For a weird, giant furry dude, he’s fun to be around.
“Hey,” Jensen says, reaching into his backpack and pulling out his camera. “Do you think I could get a picture before the light starts to fade?” When the smile on Jared’s face begins fall he quickly adds, “Of both of us, you know? So I can remember you. I’m not going to like, sell it to some tabloid rag or anything, I promise. I won’t even show Chris and Steve if you don’t want me to.”
Jared stares at him uncertainly for a minute, but he must decide Jensen is trustworthy because he gives a short nod and a “Sure,” before hopping off the rock. As he stands up, straight and tall, Jensen can’t help but gape a little, because it’s obvious that he’d underestimated Jared’s height. He had to be over eight feet tall.
Jared sees Jensen’s awe and rubs at the back of his neck, ducking his head, and Jensen was sure that if it wasn’t for all the fur that he’d see Jared blushing. He clears his throat. “I’ll set it on timer.”
He doesn’t have a tripod, so he sets the camera on one of the boulders and moves to stand by Jared. He tries to stand a respectful distance away but Jared just drops a furry arm onto his shoulders and pulls him close, wrapping the arm around his neck and ducking down a little so their height difference isn’t too extreme. They both beam at the camera as it flashes.
“Thanks,” Jensen says as he tucks it back into his bag.
Jared nods at him. “You’re welcome. Something to remember me by, right?”
“Yeah,” Jensen grins at him as he shoulders his backpack, preparing to head off to wherever Jared lives. “And who knows, maybe I’ll come back later some time, bring you a copy.”
Jared’s answering smile is big, wide and bright, and, Jensen thinks, very worth it.
Title: You Know What They Say...
Fandom: J2 AU
Rating: PG13, maybe? I'm never sure what to rate it when it's just language.
Summary: When Jensen separates from his friends and goes hiking through the forest alone, he never expects to find who, or what, he meets there.
A/N: Written for the Crack Open The AU Cans comment fic meme. My prompt was hiker!Jensen and Big Foot!Jared. This didn't turn out as cracky as I expected it to be. And the title, really has nothing to do with the fic itself. It just amused me, and I couldn't think of anything else.
Jensen rests his hands on his knees, panting heavily. His backpack shifts against him and he leans forward a little more, balancing the weight on his back, the change in position lessening the strain against his shoulders.
He probably should have listened to Steve when he said that Jensen was too out of shape for a hike like this, but Chris really had started to piss him off with all his movie star, city boy comments, and four years ago he could have hiked up these hills with an ease and energy that neither of them could ever match. Not that he had a chance to compare them now, the fuckers, insisting on staying on the trail while he took off the harder way, through the brush and up the steep side of the hill.
Alone.
Jensen straightens up with a groan. Maybe Steve was right. Maybe he was too goddamned stubborn for his own good.
He sighs and reaches to the side pocket of his pack, pulling out the water bottle. He takes a few gulps and turns around, eyes scanning the woods around him, searching for the best way to get him up the next ridge of the hill. There’s a few fallen trees to the right of him, a steep, sharp incline--practically a wall--just in front, a few boulders a little to the left and--
He freezes. Looks back at the boulders. Sitting on one of the rocks is an enormous, furry thing. It’s human shaped, with long arms and huge feet and hands that look like they could crush Jensen with just a touch.
And it’s staring right at him.
He gasps and drops the water, backing rapidly away. His foot steps on a fallen branch and he stumbles, falling backwards onto his backpack. In a panic he tries to crawl backward, to get away, however he can, but he just backs up against a tree. The creature leans forward on the boulder, still watching him and Jensen flinches, eyes wide with horror.
He left Chris and Steve hours ago. The trail that lead to their designated campsite was long and winding, so Jensen knew that it would be hours before they even found out that he never made it to the camp, and he knew screaming was useless. He’s all alone out here, nothing but the woods and seven foot tall, looming monster. He pats desperately at the ground around him, looking for anything, anything, that can be used as a weapon, breath coming in sharp gasps, heartbeat pounding with the pure terror that ran through him.
“You’re going to scream, aren’t you.”
Jensen jerked back against the tree, shocked. Holy shit. It can talk?
The thing, the monster, hasn’t moved from it’s spot on the boulder. And it’s still just staring at him, both palms flat against the rock as it just leans back, practically lounging in the evening sunlight.
“Really,” it says. It’s voice is smooth, deep and far, far too human. “You need to calm down. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”
Jensen stares at it. Takes a few deep, calming breaths, and stares at it some more. It stares calmly back at him, one furry, humongous foot tapping idly against the rock, and Jensen wonders vaguely if Chris spiked his water with something.
This really can’t be happening.
When the thing doesn’t say anything else, just continues to look at him, expectantly, like he’s waiting for his response, Jensen takes another, shaky breath and sits up. “You know, if I were to have a heart attack, I’m pretty sure you’re the one who would have given it to me.”
“Hey man, I was just sitting here, minding my own business. You were the one who came bumbling through my forest and then had a panic attack when you saw me.”
Well. That was true. But what was he supposed to do when he saw it? A man doesn’t exactly expect health concern and genial conversation from the monster he encounters alone in a forest.
Though, now that he’s got a better look at the creature, it doesn’t look completely monstrous. Big? Yes. Furry? Oh yeah. But the more he looks at it, the more Jensen thinks he just looks like a very tall, very hairy man.
Jensen tugs off his pack and stands up, taking a few cautious steps forward. The creature doesn’t move. “So… what are you?” Jensen hesitantly asks. “Big Foot?”
It sighs. “You people are all alike. It’s all ‘Big Foot this’ and “Big Foot that.’ I have a name you know.” It huffs and leans forward on it’s hands, staring accusingly at Jensen. “How do you think it feels to be described only by your most prominent physical feature, huh? How would you like to be called ‘Freckles’ all the time, or ‘Bowlegs?’ Would you like that?”
“No, uh,” Jensen rubs at his neck and shifts awkwardly on his feet. “I guess not.”
Jesus. Not only has he met a walking, talking myth during his hike, but now he’s managed to insult the thing. What a weird fucking day.
It huffs again, “Exactly.” It leans back, and kicks one (admittedly, very large) foot into the air in frustration. “It’s enough to give a guy a complex.”
“Right,” says Jensen. He looks around, spots his water bottle in the grass a few feet away, considers the drugged water idea again. Really can’t be real. He flicks he gaze back to the creature. “So, uh, what is it? Your name, I mean?”
It smiles at him, the long, tangled hair around his face parting to reveal surprisingly straight, white teeth. “Jared.”
“Oh. Well, hi Jared. I’m Jensen.”
The thing--Jared--practically beams at him. It should be scary, having a seven foot myth monster baring it’s teeth at him, practically grinning like a loon, but Jensen just thinks it looks… goofy. And strangely adorable.
God. What a crazy fucking day.
Taking the chance that Jared isn’t the type of mythical creature that smiles and chats with people before he kills and eats them, Jensen takes a few more steps forward and leans against a boulder beside the one Jared is sitting on. “So…” he scrounges around his brain for some kind of conversation topic. What does a person say to something that shouldn’t even exist? “You live around here?”
Inside, he cringes. That sounded like a bad chat up line.
But Jared just shrugs. “Yeah. Have my whole life, all three hundred and twenty-six years of it.”
Jensen jaw drops. “Three hundred and twenty-six…” his voice trails off.
Jared looks down at him, and if possible, Jensen would say he smirks. “My species has a significantly longer lifespan than yours.”
“Your species?” Jensen blinks stupidly at him, imagining hundreds, even thousands of others like him that the human race doesn’t even know about.
Jared shrugs again, but this time it’s slower, not as careless. “Well, there’s not really a species anymore, I guess. Just me.” His voice goes quiet. “Been like that for a while now.”
“Oh. That’s…” Really sad. But Jensen isn’t sure he should say that. “That sucks.”
“Yeah, well.” Jared shrugs once more, as if indifferent, but Jensen can tell that it’s feigned. “I’ve gotten used to it.”
Jensen doesn’t know what to say to that. That sucks would be redundant, and I’m sorry would just be awkward, so he stays quiet. He leans more against the boulder, watches the fading light on the trees, flickering little glances at his strange companion every few seconds. The silence stretches until Jensen can’t stand it anymore, and he just starts grasping at something else to say when Jared speaks up.
“So what are you doing hiking alone, anyway? You know that is monumentally stupid, don’t you?”
Jensen shoots him a glare. “Who are you, Steve? I was doing just find on my own, thank you.”
Jared snorts, and Jensen is struck again by oddly human he seems. “Right. ‘Just fine.’ You know, you might have twisted your ankle or something when you fell back there. And I could’ve been the sort of person who would just leave you there, all on your own, to rot. I’m not that sort of person, but I could have been. And then what would you have done?”
Jensen pushes passed the surrealism of having a huge, furry, mythical creature refer to itself as a “person” and lecture him on safety precautions and just scowls at him. “I’m sure I would have thought of something,” he mutters sulkily.
Jared rolls his eyes, which Jensen suddenly notices are a sort of hazel colored, angled sort of like a fox, but still distinctly human looking. “Right. I’m sure you would have. Who is Steve anyway?”
Jensen lets the sarcasm go. “One of the friends I came hiking with,” he tells him.
“And where are these friends now?”
“They stayed on the trail that circles around here. I wanted to take a more direct way to the campsite, so I left it.”
Jared raises one massive eyebrow. “And they just let you? Alone?”
“Well, I left because I had a sort of argument with Chris--my other friend--and well, Steve will always go with Chris.” Jensen falls silent, contemplating that. It didn’t used to be that way. He’d been the one to introduce those two, and for years it had always been Chris and Jensen, or Steve and Jensen, or Steve, Chris and Jensen. But, he’d been away for years, too focused on his career to take the time off and get together with them as much as he’d like, and things change.
Jensen sighs and looks around, noticing for the first time how dark it was getting. “Shit. I better get back to them. By the time I make it to the camp it’s gonna be dark.” He pushes off the rock he was leaning against, and heads toward his pack.
“Wait!” Jared call and Jensen stops, turns around. Jared shuffles a little bit on the rock, looking down, and if Jensen didn’t know better, he’d say he was nervous. “Um,” Jared starts, biting the lower lip just visible above the hair, “It is getting dark, and you know, it’s rather dangerous to walk through dark alone around here and I live really close by…” he trails off, gesturing in one direction with a massive hand.
Jensen stares at him, not sure what to say. Was Big Foot trying to take him home?
Jared takes a deep breath, shuffles a little more, and Jensen decides he really must be nervous. “It’s just, the last person who actually stopped and talked to me was three years ago. Everyone else just screams and runs away, and then a group of tourist comes tromping through here with cameras, and I have to hide out in my cave for days and I just… get lonely sometimes.” The last is mumbled to big, furry knees. “I’ll show you the way back to your campsite, after. So you won’t get lost in the dark.”
Jared had looked up as he said the last part, and Jensen is met with big, pleading (and all too human) eyes. He takes a breath, and gives him a shaky smile. “Oh, what the hell. Sure. I can hang out for a few more hours.”
The grin he gets in return is big and wide and very, very bright against the dark hair on his face, and Jensen thinks it’s worth even dealing with Chris and Steve‘s anger and worry when he gets back to the camp late. This whole trip was about taking the time to experience things he couldn’t while working, and how often does one come across, a real life--and really friendly--legend? Besides, Jensen think, he likes Jared. For a weird, giant furry dude, he’s fun to be around.
“Hey,” Jensen says, reaching into his backpack and pulling out his camera. “Do you think I could get a picture before the light starts to fade?” When the smile on Jared’s face begins fall he quickly adds, “Of both of us, you know? So I can remember you. I’m not going to like, sell it to some tabloid rag or anything, I promise. I won’t even show Chris and Steve if you don’t want me to.”
Jared stares at him uncertainly for a minute, but he must decide Jensen is trustworthy because he gives a short nod and a “Sure,” before hopping off the rock. As he stands up, straight and tall, Jensen can’t help but gape a little, because it’s obvious that he’d underestimated Jared’s height. He had to be over eight feet tall.
Jared sees Jensen’s awe and rubs at the back of his neck, ducking his head, and Jensen was sure that if it wasn’t for all the fur that he’d see Jared blushing. He clears his throat. “I’ll set it on timer.”
He doesn’t have a tripod, so he sets the camera on one of the boulders and moves to stand by Jared. He tries to stand a respectful distance away but Jared just drops a furry arm onto his shoulders and pulls him close, wrapping the arm around his neck and ducking down a little so their height difference isn’t too extreme. They both beam at the camera as it flashes.
“Thanks,” Jensen says as he tucks it back into his bag.
Jared nods at him. “You’re welcome. Something to remember me by, right?”
“Yeah,” Jensen grins at him as he shoulders his backpack, preparing to head off to wherever Jared lives. “And who knows, maybe I’ll come back later some time, bring you a copy.”
Jared’s answering smile is big, wide and bright, and, Jensen thinks, very worth it.