Title: The Dance, Chapter One
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo
Rating: PG (For the chapter... destined to go up.)
Word count: 1,641
Warning: lack of beta
Disclaimer: Not mine.
It has been almost five years since he saved me. And just as long since I fell for him. In all that time, I've never spent more than a week apart from him. Five years of his teasing and flirting. Five years of him returning in the middle of the night smelling of the cheap perfume of his latest conquest. Five years of a dance I wish would end. I no longer care how.
I often find myself talking to Kanan in the middle of the night. Asking her if I can take the risk and confess my love to him. Asking if it is worth losing my best friend over. I'm not so delusional as to think she'll answer with some advice, or that I'm not just talking to myself like your average crazy person. Even of I could have forced myself to risk it, I can't now. Not when we are driving West to save the world.
I sigh quietly to myself and pray the upcoming town has enough rooms for me to finally be alone for at least a little while. My hope is quickly killed when we discover the inn has only two single rooms and it appears that, for once, Sanzo has agreed to Goku rooming with him.
We drop off our things and head to the inn's restaurant. While we waited for our food, I tried to steel myself for the coming night. I can do this. It's just one night. Just one more to add to a long list.
I am broken out of my thoughts by Gojyo suddenly straightening in his chair. I ready myself for the suggestive comment I know he's about to make, but what comes out of his mouth is nearly as surprising as the look of disbelief on his face. "Well, I'll be damned."
I turn my head slightly to see a beautiful woman with short black hair and eyes the same blue as a blind man’s. I turn back and stare in shock at the smile gracing Gojyo's lips. Not his usual lustful smirk, but the warm smile I've only seen him direct at me or his brother when he thinks no one is looking.
I feel equal parts jealousy and curiosity as he continued to stare at the woman. I carefully hide the former before addressing him, "Gojyo? Do you know that woman?"
"Huh?" He looks like someone had just shaken him from a dream. "Sorry. Musta zoned out. You say somethin', Hakkai?"
I open my mouth to repeat my question, but Goku chose that moment to speak up. "He was askin' you if you knew the babe that just walked in, since you keep staring, ya pervy kappa!"
I think that was one of the only times I was thankful for Sanzo's violent tendencies because if he hadn't hit Goku with that paper fan he keeps hidden somewhere, I would have broken my plate over Goku’s head.
"Ow, Sanzo! What the hell was that for?"
"Don't be so loud, stupid monkey!" I refrain from mentioning that he was louder than Goku at that moment. Sanzo had never hit me with his fan, and I like it that way.
Apparently, our antics had drawn the "babe's" attention because she was now staring back at Gojyo, the same smile on her face. She leaves her drink at the bar and comes toward us. Then Gojyo was standing and meeting her ten feet from our table.
Neither say a word, just embrace each other like long separated lovers. His face buried in her hair. Her face pressed against his neck. And there I am… just staring with returning jealousy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sanzo give me an unreadable look, one he had been shooting my way for a while now. I think I would have been worried if I wasn't so preoccupied. He clears his throat loudly to catch Gojyo and his mystery woman's attention.
She reacts quicker than Gojyo. Although I have a suspicion that he would have gladly ignored the monk. The woman opens her blue eyes, looks at us, and starts struggling to break free of Gojyo's arms. He seems to be disinclined to let her go.
All the while her soft voice floats over us, "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hijack your kappa." She gives a short, slightly embarrassed laugh while still trying to escape said kappa's embrace. "C'mon, Gojyo. You can let go now."
"No way. Haven't seen you in years. Thought you were dead. Why hell would I ever let go again." His voice is like I've never heard before. Filled with some unknown emotion.
The still unnamed woman smiles a small sad, almost regretful, smile that contradicted her words. "Well, I’m not dead. And you have to let go sometime. How will you have sex? Cuz you know I'm not interested, and you'd spontaneously combust without. Right, nii-san." I feel relief course through me at her words and immediately feel guilty for it.
"Fine." Gojyo heaves a deep sigh before finally letting go, but grabbing her hand to keep contact, and turning back to face the rest of us. "Guys, this is Cassandra. She's my.... umm. She's hard to explain."
I hear Sanzo snort and say, "Sit the hell down, kappa. Bring her if you must and explain."
After proper introductions were made, we spend the rest of our mealtime listening to Gojyo and Cassandra talk, almost in synch, about how they met shortly after Gojyo left his childhood home. Her family life wasn't much better, so they decided to run away together and make a living. They say how they became like brother and sister. A little voice inside my head prays their sibling relationship wasn't as close as mine with Kanan. The guilt and jealousy returns tenfold.
I notice her watching me more than Sanzo or Goku. It’s as if she can feel my dislike of her and if she studies my face long enough she can find out why. That thought makes me more than a little panicked, but I figure there was no way she could know I loved Gojyo just due to the look on my face. If Gojyo himself hadn't noticed, no one would.... I hope.
They look so happy together. It made me feel sick. Too many emotions at once. I had to get out of there. I stand, make some half attempted excuse I don't even remember, and walk outside in the cool night air. I lean against the wall behind me and close my eyes.
What the hell am I thinking? Why can’t I just be happy for my friend? I feel so stupid. The look on his face when he relived his past with her was so pure and beautiful. If you love someone, you're supposed to be happy just because they are, right? You aren’t supposed to feel angry, jealous, and betrayed. He wasn't even mine to be jealous over.
I am so wrapped up in my self-loathing that I don’t hear someone else come outside and approach me. I jump slightly when I hear her say my name in an admonishing tone. When I turn, I see Cassandra leaning one shoulder against the wall with her arms and legs crossed. She looks very pleased with herself.
"You're in love with Gojyo, aren't you?" She shoots me a mischievous grin when I can’t hide my surprise quick enough.
I sigh and look to the stars as if they hold the answers to the universe. "Is it that obvious?"
"Oh yeah. Not to him, so you don't have to freak out or anything. He's not the brightest individual out there, you know. But he's the only one that doesn't see it. The monk knows, and the kid knows something is wrong even if he doesn’t understand what."
"Oh my. I didn't think it was that obvious." I put on my best fake smile and hope to every god in the heavens that she would just drop it. Too bad they appear to be taking the day off. Must be a holiday or something.
"You're kind of an idiot."
"I beg your pardon." I’m not sure where that came from. The only time my intelligence has ever been questioned was when I asked Sanzo if I should have been alive at all.
Cassandra gives a rather exasperated sigh like I should know exactly what she’s talking about. "You, Cho Hakkai, are almost as blind and just as stubborn as the kappa is. At least you aren't in denial about it, but neither one of you can tell that you couldn't bear to be without the other. That you're hopelessly in love with each other. The gods should make one of you trip and land on the other's face. Honestly." She sighs again, but this time it sounds tired as well as annoyed.
I stare at her in shock, and I am almost positive that my jaw was hanging open. I stammer, trying to find something to say. My mouth must be opening and closing like a fish because she laughs when she glances at me.
Her delicate hand reaches and pushes my jaw closed, and then it moves to gently cup my face. Her expression now softly caring. "He'll come around. Trust me. I'll be sure to knock some sense into that man's head." And with that she turns to reenter the restaurant.
Well, that had been quite interesting... and a bit informing. I puzzle briefly on how Sanzo and Goku could realize my true feelings for our resident kappa. Honestly, I couldn't possibly be that obvious, and if I was, Gojyo couldn't be that oblivious. Not to mention the fact that there was no way he could be in love with me….. Could he?
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AN: I'm still looking for a beta. And if anyone feels the urge to give a summery, I would love you forever. Seriously... help.