Moving On [1/3]
Tsuyoshi Nishioka invited Kamenashi for dinner and the latter made all the effort to clear his schedule that night.
“Thank you for coming.” , said Tsuyoshi.
“Ahh. Yeah. It’s been a long time since…”
“three weeks.” Tsuyoshi interjected.
“Right. It’s been three weeks since we last met. How have you been? ” Kame asked, grinning like a kid. Tsuyoshi just stared at him for a while and averted his gaze. “is… is there something wrong?”kame asked worriedly. Tsuyoshi looked at him again and heaved a long sigh. Kame just stared at the older man, making his palms sweat suddenly. Was the older man upset of something? Kame couldn’t help but fidget.
“I’m going to America for baseball.” Tsuyoshi finally said, looking all dejected.
Kame’s face lightened in enthusiasm. “Really? That would be good then, for your career, I mean. No, that’d be great. ” He exclaimed but noticed the older man wasn’t with him.
“Why aren’t you happy about it? Shouldn’t you be? It’s a great opportunity, isn’t it?” Kame tried to find the answer in the other’s face. He wondered for a second if it was him who caused the older man’s actions but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that thought because Tsuyoshi suddenly spoke.
“I’m going there for good. I may not be able to stay here anymore.” He said it in one breath, as if he didn’t want Kame to get what he really wanted to say.
“oh” that was all Kame had said, realizing that he had been holding his breath for a few seconds. It took him a while to digest the information Tsuyoshi had just given him.
Why did his chest suddenly tighten? Tsuyoshi was a friend, a really close one for that matter. He hated to admit it to himself that whenever he’s with the older man he felt really happy whether they were talking about baseball or just simply random things that pop up during a conversation. It’s at time times like those where Kame seemed to be the happiest. He finally realized a few months ago that during the four years that they’d known each other he’d developed a special liking to the older man. Tsuyoshi was something more to him. It was beyond admiration and he can’t quite put what it exactly was but he had no plans of telling the older man, afraid of rejection, maybe, but more of destroying the friendship they had. He wasn’t going to commit the same mistakes he did in the past that earned him the destruction of a friendship with a certain someone he didn’t want to remember anymore, not at that time.
Kame tried his best to mask the dismayed expression that was threatening to surface on his face. He slightly bowed for a few seconds to compose himself before facing the older man with a completely fake smile coupled with a word of congratulations that was said a bit shakily in his opinion. He cursed under his breath when he couldn’t act as normal as he should be.
Neither of them talked for a while and Kame had to wonder why Tsuyoshi looked like he was mirroring what the younger man was feeling.
“Aren’t you sad that we might not be able to see each other again?” the older man said with a mock-hurt expression. “Aren’t you gonna miss me?” he added in the same manner. The heavy atmosphere suddenly lightened although Kame didn’t know what to make out of that question. All he can do was smile at the childish display in front of him.
“Of course I will!” Kame defended himself in a playful manner but then shifted to a more serious tone, as if he had remembered something he has to say. “but… as a friend, all I can do is to support you. I couldn’t tell you not to go just because I would miss you. That would be selfish of me.” He was like repeating the words that had been stuck in his mind in the past, never really having the chance to say them out loud, words that were supposedly meant for another person but now is meant for Tsuyoshi.
Kame chuckled a bit and held the hand that was placed across him on the table tightly. “Really, Tsuyo-kun, I’m happy for you. Congratulations.” He smiled a genuine one this time. What else could he say but that? He really was a helpless case when it comes to love. Unrequited love that is or so what he thought.