Quick Question to anyone Jewish on my flist

[aishuu]

So I left holiday cards for all my coworkers since today was my last day. I slid them under their doors, since I'm the only one off tomorrow, and I simply want to wish them all happy holidays

Comments

[sache]

No, it's not an inadvertant misstep if she's open about her religious practices. And even then, most people are sane enough to recognize the sentiment even if you get the details wrong.

But this is why I buy generic holiday cards! :-D

Never understood the whole "War on Christmas" thing. "Happy Holidays" is inclusive whereas "Merry Christmas" is exclusive. Every time someone gets ticked at me about me saying "Happy Holidays" I ask what their problem is with New Year. Because I have one coworker who is Seventh Day Adventist, so she celebrates the Jewish holidays despite being Christian, and I have several friends that celebrate the solstice. So, excuse me for not outright assuming that everyone I know is Christian. Not to mention, I also know quite a few CHRISTIANS who don't celebrate Christmas beyond attending a church service on account of its pagan origins.

But there is absolutely nothing wrong with being specific when you're dealing with a person on an individual basis.

Edited for unfortunate typo

[aishuu]

I just wanted to be nice and considerate, since I know she does follow Jewish customs and it seemed more thoughtful at the time to select that kind of card rather than a more generic one.

It's one of those things where I feel like I'm missing some unspoken knowledge. I get the concept of Hanukkah, but I was wondering... I was trying to select individualized cards. But then it becomes a question about doing something outside your culture, and...

I'm hypersensitive about office politics at this moment since the firm is STILL going through a split. It's become an issue because Xmas is when we're offered fabulous presents by banks/contacts, and someone (aka crazy lady who is in charge of the other firm) has been taking them home every night and people are annoyed because the awesome food is supposed to be shared. It feels like navigating a minefield since it's an issue... it's so stupid what sets people off.

[sache]

I just wanted to be nice and considerate, since I know she does follow Jewish customs and it seemed more thoughtful at the time to select that kind of card rather than a more generic one.

I get it. I just found that boxed cards are much easier on the wallet. It's easier and cheaper to insert a personalized message on a boxed card, than individually pick cards for every person I know.

But seriously, and I know it is cliche, but it is the thought that counts, and obviously, you put a lot of thought into it. :-D

[aishuu]

Confession time? I bought the individual cards at a discount store... they're from overstock. 50 cents to a dollar each, with the expensive prices (2-4) on the back of the card. Cost me 8 bucks and I hit everyone with a personalized card...

[peacewish]

Here's what I know:

Every year I send Christmas cards to my friends who grew up Hindu and now run Hindu households. On them, I write "Merry Christmas". It has never occurred to me to question this or the fact that they always thank me afterwards. Because it's not about whether they celebrate Christmas, it's about the fact that I do, and part of my celebration means making homemade cards for my closest friends and family. I would be as astonished to hear that a Christmas card offends them as I would be to hear they were offended I'd offered them a glass of eggnog

[sache]

This whole thing would be a lot more straightforward if we greeted people according to the speaker's chosen holidays rather than worrying about the recipient's.

Easier? Sure. But not nearly as considerate, no. And in a season that's supposed to be about "Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards Man" putting in the extra effort to think about someone else's personal celebrations can go a long way. Because, and maybe this is just me, I don't view the winter holiday season as being about me or my traditions. It's about appreciating everyone else.

Just some food for thought.

[aishuu]

Multiculturalism is so confusing. I wish people a Merry Christmas because I grew up in Christian White Rural America. It's only now that I'm interacting with people who aren't part of it that I feel like I'm failing at life. Everyone is so hypersensitive nowadays... it would be nice if people just understood we were wishing each other the best.

[yanagi_sen]

I would hope she would appreciate the consideration. I always buy cards that say 'happy holidays' or 'seasons greetings' since I don't want to assume I know others spiritual beliefs. When the FB reposts came around about if you don't celebrate Christmas go home... I posted to two of my former students that I'm a US citizen born in this country, I AM HOME... And I pointed out that they were infringing on the rights of Jews and others who were born here and also have holidays this time of year. Besides... if you want to really get technical, unless you are full-blood Native American, everyone's practices are 'foreign' and if they don't like it, they can pack up and go back to their own country of origin. ^_~

[aishuu]

She thanked me via email for being thoughtful, so it was the right decision. It always seems to me that we should try to tailor the sentiment to the receiver if possible, but the receiver should appreciate any sentiment sent if it's in the general "good wishes" side of things?

I have a new support worker (not on staff or in the office, so I didn't get her a card since I see her only via email) who keeps wishing me "blessings" and I'm ninety percent sure she's Wiccan. I have no clue what I'll do next year if she's actually drawn into the fold... cards are acceptable for holiday wishes because of Yule, right?

I don't hate the idea of multiculturalism, but I hate the uncertainty I feel in asking since religion is one of the things We Do Not Talk About with people....

[yanagi_sen]

Yup. Happy Holidays or Season's Greetings work fine. ^__^

[kamitra]

Good point about the religion as a non-topic thing. At that point you'd want to go with the OkCupid method of [insert religion here] and [insert level of sensitivity here].

And on the stupid topic: the New Year is a big deal to Eastern types. Don't knock New Year's, even if we follow a solar calendar, and not a lunar one.

[the_sweet]

Jumping on the bandwagon here to add that I think it's very nice of you to have picked out a card that reflects her open choice of religion/spirituality. "Happy Holidays" cards are inclusive, but also generic; getting an appropriate card and showing you respect someone's choices (if they're open about them) is a nice way of showing you care.

That said, it's a bit weird that she shoved candy at you and said Happy Hanukkah if she knows you're not Jewish/don't celebrate Hanukkah.

[aishuu]

It went over well, so it was the right choice. I just hate the uncertainty of feeling like I'm being inadvertently offensive.

The candy thing was classic her - she's a very abrupt, city-style NYer, and she meant it well. I don't think she'd thought about presenting it... she just dropped it off at my office on what I later realized was the first day of Hannukah. The sentiment was appreciated.

[qem_chibati]

(If it helps, I planned to get my husband a Hanukkah gift and gave it to him on the 2nd day instead... So I fail more, I think. :3)

I think giving the specific card is very sweet, and most people would greatly appreciate that you went to the effort. (Although, I've never seen a non home made Hanukkah card.... ever.)