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[aisling78]

I've been thinking a lot about Ava lately. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, but in recent weeks it's been even more so. She'd be a preschooler now. She'd be turning three at the end of March. I just peaked in at Sean, sound asleep and dreaming in his crib, and my whole body aches to know that he'll never know his cousin Ava. I'll

Comments

Mommy says:

[anonymous]

Thank you for writing this. It puts into words exactly how I feel. The grief seems to deepen sometimes and yet just hearing her name can give me great joy. Joy that others remember her. Joy that she was. I didn't have the chance to kiss her cheeks or tickle her belly but I have in my dreams. I never heard her voice but I know I will recognize it when we are together someday. I saw her breathing and moving during an ultra sound once and my heart swelled then. I saw her motionless the last time and my heart exploded. I love her and miss her every day and that will never change. She is forever my first granddaughter.

[heather80]

When I first heard Ava's story, back while still pregnant with Shea, my heart dropped into my stomach. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of losing a baby, especially so close to term. I thought about her and your sister and your family for days. My heart goes out to you.

My friend Terri-Ann, who you have seen commenting in my journal (anna0707), recently had a miscarriage. She posted a very hopeful post in her journal about healing that you may find comforting. I know she would not mind if I passed it along. I will do so in a separate comment, as it's a bit long.

[heather80]

I knew the answer in my heart, and that was enough for me