ONESHOT | Lost
Lost
pg-13 | angst | oneshot
aitakutemo for sacchlovedbsk
smells like raining. -or was it you. crying?
Lost
“don’t listen to them… don’t listen to them…”
you mutter to yourself. hugging your legs. up. pull it closer to your chest.
“don’t listen to them… don’t listen to them…”
you bite your lower lip. harder. harder.
don’t-
“hyung?”
“…yeah?”
changmin narrows. his eyes, examining your expression, “…are you okay?”
okay?
okay -
in proper or satisfactory operational or working order. uninjured; safe. fairly healthy; well.
“are you okay, jaejoongie?”
“me? i’m completely okay, why do you ask?”
“…hyung?”
“don’t tell him, okay min?”
“why?”
you hid yourself. you want to know, but you don’t want to hear his answer.
“because i’m not okay.”
“jaejoongie?”
you can hear his breath hitches. changmin looks like he wants to hold you, to touch. you. touch, giving you comfort, telling you that everything. is alright. yet his expression shows that he himself is not sure that things are going. to. be. alright.
-is it?
“everything will be just fine, hyung…”
fine? how can?
how can you be fine, when your world. has been. destroyed?
no, not destroyed. disappeared. vanished.
the sky, that day, was dark. was dark. no sun, no moon, no anything, just sky. crying. ( at least for you ). the sky was dark and the ground was still freshly dug, because they just covered the hole.
what did they bury there?
smell of rain. or was it your tears?
“jaejoong-ah…”
“yunho-hyung…” a hand reached your shoulder. you don’t have to turn around to know. yoochun was the only one. who was brave enough to touch. you. “let’s go home…?”
home? where?
home -
a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
“home is wherever you are,”
“wherever i am?”
“because you are my home; the place where I turn my whole attention, my whole affection, my whole love.”
“love? affection? attention? hahaha, yunho-ya! where did you learn all of that?”
you smirk. if only he knew what has he done to you.
what he has done, what he stole, what he took.
-your desire to live.
“yunho-hyung? hyung, answer me…” another step taken, hesitantly. even your own dongsaeng is afraid. of you.
afraid? why should. he?
“i'm not afraid of anything.”
“why?”
“because i know i have you.”
really?
“yunho-ah… i’m a-afraid… i’m scared… i don’t want to face this…-”
“yunho-ah… tell me there’s still a hope… for me… for us…”
“you got me; i am not going to leave you alone. not now, not tomorrow, not forever.”
“you won’t, but i will…”
suddenly you feel your breath is getting heavier. it’s so hard. hard. you gasp. you struggle to breath. so. so hard, you can’t stand.
“stop it…” you clench your hand. bringing them up to your ear. closing your eyes. no. it hurts. no. no.
not hurt.
how come?
“it’s not hurt, really.”
“don’t lie on me.”
pout. god, that. pout. “compare to the feel of seeing you like this, waiting for me like something could happen, like there’s hope, like someday we’ll get through this, it was nothing.”
“i really am sorry to make you face this all, yunho-ah…”
you went out of the room. almost running.
he didn’t cry, so he must not see you cry.
“yunho-hyung!” steps. steps. steps. he is running towards you. no, don’t run.
because running would bring you nowhere.
run -
to go quickly by moving the legs more rapidly than at a walk and in such a manner that for an instant in each step all or both feet are off the ground. to move with haste; act quickly.
-“you got the wrong number, so don’t call me no more-“
“yeoboseyo?”
“yunho-hyung, jaejoong-hyung is-“
you ran. you ran. you kept running.
“hurry, hyung!”
wait for me, jaejoong-ah…!
but he didn’t.
“jaejoong-ah… jaejoong-ah… JAEJOONG-AH!!”
“h-hyung-“
“JAEJOONG-AH!! don’t leave me here! JAEJOONG!”
you reach his collar, pulling him towards you. “bring back my jaejoong!”
“d-doctor? doctor! ...nurse! anyone!?”
he’s calling them. again. how many times should you tell them? you. are. not. sick.
for god’s sake, you are not. sick. you are just waiting for him.
jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong.
you hear footsteps. more. footsteps. not just one, two, three, but more. you turn your head just in time to see them running to you, to free changmin from you. r grasp.
“-no-“
something stings. your arm. you feel sleepy, your view is getting. blurry. by the second. your grasp is weakening. is. weaken. ing.
“jae… joong… a…”
your world is dark. once again. but you don’t see the different, because your world already is.
dark, without sunshine, without moonlight.
smells like raining.
-or was it you. crying?
“how’s him?”
changmin shakes his head, hopelessly. should have known from the start, there is no point. no point, at all.
his yunho-hyung, their yunho-hyung, has lost his light.
yoochun nods weakly and junsu throws an arm over his shoulder, bringing the older guy closer to his comfort.
“we’ll find a way.”
changmin gives out a weak smile. one day. someday.
if there is still a someday in his world.
“you see those guys?”
“those three handsome-looking young men?”
“yes. i pity them… do you know who they are?”
“they look familiar…”
“here, read this,”
“…oh… oh yes… poor boys…”
Dong Bang Shin Ki’s U-Know Yunho Sent to Mental Hospital.
Apparently, the death of the lead singer of the group, Kim ‘Youngwoong’ Jaejoong, took a great impact on this young singer’s life. It seems like what people had been talking about was true, there was some kind of special relationship between the two aside from friendship and brothership. After the death of the belated member, Yunho changed, one of the staff told. He kept being quiet and always seemed to have lost in his own world. He lost his cheerful attitude and started acting strange, like talking repetitive words to himself. Sometimes they even heard him calling Jaejoong’s name.
The other three members left, Micky Yoochun, Xiah Junsu, Choikang Changmin, and the management decided to take a break and wait while the now oldest of the band sent to the hospital for more intensive treatment. So far no one managed to take a picture of how he looks like now since the place is guarded strictly. Although there is still a hope that Yunho might be healed, but the hope is not bigger than the chance of him spending the rest of his life inside caged inside the place.
extra note:
→ italic means memories.
originally posted here.
pg-13 | angst | oneshot
aitakutemo for sacchlovedbsk
smells like raining. -or was it you. crying?
Lost
“don’t listen to them… don’t listen to them…”
you mutter to yourself. hugging your legs. up. pull it closer to your chest.
“don’t listen to them… don’t listen to them…”
you bite your lower lip. harder. harder.
don’t-
“hyung?”
“…yeah?”
changmin narrows. his eyes, examining your expression, “…are you okay?”
okay?
okay -
in proper or satisfactory operational or working order. uninjured; safe. fairly healthy; well.
“are you okay, jaejoongie?”
“me? i’m completely okay, why do you ask?”
“…hyung?”
“don’t tell him, okay min?”
“why?”
you hid yourself. you want to know, but you don’t want to hear his answer.
“because i’m not okay.”
“jaejoongie?”
you can hear his breath hitches. changmin looks like he wants to hold you, to touch. you. touch, giving you comfort, telling you that everything. is alright. yet his expression shows that he himself is not sure that things are going. to. be. alright.
-is it?
“everything will be just fine, hyung…”
fine? how can?
how can you be fine, when your world. has been. destroyed?
no, not destroyed. disappeared. vanished.
the sky, that day, was dark. was dark. no sun, no moon, no anything, just sky. crying. ( at least for you ). the sky was dark and the ground was still freshly dug, because they just covered the hole.
what did they bury there?
smell of rain. or was it your tears?
“jaejoong-ah…”
“yunho-hyung…” a hand reached your shoulder. you don’t have to turn around to know. yoochun was the only one. who was brave enough to touch. you. “let’s go home…?”
home? where?
home -
a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.
“home is wherever you are,”
“wherever i am?”
“because you are my home; the place where I turn my whole attention, my whole affection, my whole love.”
“love? affection? attention? hahaha, yunho-ya! where did you learn all of that?”
you smirk. if only he knew what has he done to you.
what he has done, what he stole, what he took.
-your desire to live.
“yunho-hyung? hyung, answer me…” another step taken, hesitantly. even your own dongsaeng is afraid. of you.
afraid? why should. he?
“i'm not afraid of anything.”
“why?”
“because i know i have you.”
really?
“yunho-ah… i’m a-afraid… i’m scared… i don’t want to face this…-”
“yunho-ah… tell me there’s still a hope… for me… for us…”
“you got me; i am not going to leave you alone. not now, not tomorrow, not forever.”
“you won’t, but i will…”
suddenly you feel your breath is getting heavier. it’s so hard. hard. you gasp. you struggle to breath. so. so hard, you can’t stand.
“stop it…” you clench your hand. bringing them up to your ear. closing your eyes. no. it hurts. no. no.
not hurt.
how come?
“it’s not hurt, really.”
“don’t lie on me.”
pout. god, that. pout. “compare to the feel of seeing you like this, waiting for me like something could happen, like there’s hope, like someday we’ll get through this, it was nothing.”
“i really am sorry to make you face this all, yunho-ah…”
you went out of the room. almost running.
he didn’t cry, so he must not see you cry.
“yunho-hyung!” steps. steps. steps. he is running towards you. no, don’t run.
because running would bring you nowhere.
run -
to go quickly by moving the legs more rapidly than at a walk and in such a manner that for an instant in each step all or both feet are off the ground. to move with haste; act quickly.
-“you got the wrong number, so don’t call me no more-“
“yeoboseyo?”
“yunho-hyung, jaejoong-hyung is-“
you ran. you ran. you kept running.
“hurry, hyung!”
wait for me, jaejoong-ah…!
but he didn’t.
“jaejoong-ah… jaejoong-ah… JAEJOONG-AH!!”
“h-hyung-“
“JAEJOONG-AH!! don’t leave me here! JAEJOONG!”
you reach his collar, pulling him towards you. “bring back my jaejoong!”
“d-doctor? doctor! ...nurse! anyone!?”
he’s calling them. again. how many times should you tell them? you. are. not. sick.
for god’s sake, you are not. sick. you are just waiting for him.
jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong. jaejoong.
you hear footsteps. more. footsteps. not just one, two, three, but more. you turn your head just in time to see them running to you, to free changmin from you. r grasp.
“-no-“
something stings. your arm. you feel sleepy, your view is getting. blurry. by the second. your grasp is weakening. is. weaken. ing.
“jae… joong… a…”
your world is dark. once again. but you don’t see the different, because your world already is.
dark, without sunshine, without moonlight.
smells like raining.
-or was it you. crying?
“how’s him?”
changmin shakes his head, hopelessly. should have known from the start, there is no point. no point, at all.
his yunho-hyung, their yunho-hyung, has lost his light.
yoochun nods weakly and junsu throws an arm over his shoulder, bringing the older guy closer to his comfort.
“we’ll find a way.”
changmin gives out a weak smile. one day. someday.
if there is still a someday in his world.
“you see those guys?”
“those three handsome-looking young men?”
“yes. i pity them… do you know who they are?”
“they look familiar…”
“here, read this,”
“…oh… oh yes… poor boys…”
Dong Bang Shin Ki’s U-Know Yunho Sent to Mental Hospital.
Apparently, the death of the lead singer of the group, Kim ‘Youngwoong’ Jaejoong, took a great impact on this young singer’s life. It seems like what people had been talking about was true, there was some kind of special relationship between the two aside from friendship and brothership. After the death of the belated member, Yunho changed, one of the staff told. He kept being quiet and always seemed to have lost in his own world. He lost his cheerful attitude and started acting strange, like talking repetitive words to himself. Sometimes they even heard him calling Jaejoong’s name.
The other three members left, Micky Yoochun, Xiah Junsu, Choikang Changmin, and the management decided to take a break and wait while the now oldest of the band sent to the hospital for more intensive treatment. So far no one managed to take a picture of how he looks like now since the place is guarded strictly. Although there is still a hope that Yunho might be healed, but the hope is not bigger than the chance of him spending the rest of his life inside caged inside the place.
extra note:
→ italic means memories.
originally posted here.