[Saiyuki] Neologisms
Title: Neologisms
Fandom: Saiyuki
Characters: Hakkai
Series: None
Warnings: Some violence on account of Hakkai backstory. Second person.
Misc. Information: This is one of the pieces that never left f-lock before! :D
*****
Sometimes, you think there should be new words.
There should be new words because you need them, because you are still at heart a teacher and you want to quantify, to rationalise, to explain, and how can you do that without the right words?
And you don't have the right words. You have no word for what it is like to learn that your other half was taken away from you and you were playing with the children and didn't feel anything wrong. You have no word for what it is like to hear the rain drumming in your ears so loudly that you can't hear their screams but can still hear hers. You have no word for what it is like when your world dies but you remain alive despite it. You have no word for the feeling of your body twisting and your mind changing and yourself falling screaming into a sea of blood and something else rising from the ashes.
Sometimes, you think there should be new words because the old ones don't fit anymore.
The old ones don't fit; they are not-quite-right, echoing strangely in your mind, and every time you try to hold onto them they slip out of your grasp and you are left with no words at all. And without words there is nothing left between you and what you have become.
Save one.
Sometimes, you think there should be new words.
But for now, you think "Hakkai" will be enough.
*****
Originally posted here.
Fandom: Saiyuki
Characters: Hakkai
Series: None
Warnings: Some violence on account of Hakkai backstory. Second person.
Misc. Information: This is one of the pieces that never left f-lock before! :D
*****
Sometimes, you think there should be new words.
There should be new words because you need them, because you are still at heart a teacher and you want to quantify, to rationalise, to explain, and how can you do that without the right words?
And you don't have the right words. You have no word for what it is like to learn that your other half was taken away from you and you were playing with the children and didn't feel anything wrong. You have no word for what it is like to hear the rain drumming in your ears so loudly that you can't hear their screams but can still hear hers. You have no word for what it is like when your world dies but you remain alive despite it. You have no word for the feeling of your body twisting and your mind changing and yourself falling screaming into a sea of blood and something else rising from the ashes.
Sometimes, you think there should be new words because the old ones don't fit anymore.
The old ones don't fit; they are not-quite-right, echoing strangely in your mind, and every time you try to hold onto them they slip out of your grasp and you are left with no words at all. And without words there is nothing left between you and what you have become.
Save one.
Sometimes, you think there should be new words.
But for now, you think "Hakkai" will be enough.
*****
Originally posted here.