Shortly after 5am, I woke to Scccrrritch, Scccrrritch, Scccrrritch. I roll over look at the floor and see Ferris in my dirty laundry (clothes wind up on the floor when your hamper is the perfect height to use as a night stand). I have an okay, whatever moment, get up and walk to the bathroom... In that last step of carpet before the linoleum, the
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