This is quite impressive! I really enjoyed the way you used to explain his thoughts and feelings. It's a short story but you could still manage to but some little details that makes everything more visual (like the crooked floor). I'd love to read more of your stories! =))
It is a very very short story. At the moment i didn't think i could put anything in there that would improve it, but i reckon if i just don't look at it for a while and come back once its been a while since i worked on it, i'll be able to come at it freshly and make it better.
If you wanted to, there's a masterpost at the top of my journal that's got all the stories i've ever put on LJ? Just incase you wanted to know *shrug* This is not a self-pimping exercise. Hahaha.
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The imagery, the words used... awesome.
Great job, sweetie!
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I'd love to read more of your stories! =))
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It is a very very short story. At the moment i didn't think i could put anything in there that would improve it, but i reckon if i just don't look at it for a while and come back once its been a while since i worked on it, i'll be able to come at it freshly and make it better.
If you wanted to, there's a masterpost at the top of my journal that's got all the stories i've ever put on LJ? Just incase you wanted to know *shrug* This is not a self-pimping exercise. Hahaha.
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*headdesk* Really? I'd love to read them! I just didn't know where they were =))
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http://aja-evenstar.livejournal.com/21602.html
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