Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine’s Day to All!
In the spirit of the day I have some musical tongue-in-cheek suggestions to help you celebrate the day:
For the extremely articulate boyfriend:
“Here (In Your Arms)” - Hellogoodbye
“I like, where we are, when we drive, in your car. I like, where we are, here.”
For the girl who knows exactly what she wants out of a relationship:
“Wannabe” - Spice Girls
“I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha…if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”
For the biology major who is explaining why he has no date:
“Gunning Down Romance” - Savage Garden
“Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine….cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen…”
For the clingy girl friend in a long distance relationship:
“My Heart Will Go On” - Celine Dion
“Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you…love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never go till we're one…”
For that those stuck in a relationship with a zombie:
“I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight” - Air Supply
“I just died in your arms tonight…broken hearts heart are all around me and I don’t see an easy way to get out of this…”
For the guy who got an “extra special” surprise for Valentine’s Day from his female friend:
“Billie Jean” - Michael Jackson
“She's just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son…”
For the realistic average looking guy:
“Cupids Chokehold” - Gym Class Heroes
“Take a look at my girlfriend; she's the only one I got. Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot…”
For the philosophy major with unrequited love:
“What Is Love” - Haddaway
“What is love? Yeah, oh, I don't know why you're not there. I give you my love, but you don't care…”
For the unromantic pimp:
“Late Night Tip” - Three Six Mafia
“I’m not the type that gets involved in long relationships…If you want romance you should just stick who you are really with. If you in that mood you can hit me on that late night tip…”
For the romantic pimp:
“Ignition” - R. Kelly
“Hey pretty girl I’m feelin’ you…that’s why I’m all up in yo grill trying to get you to a hotel…”
For the serial philander:
“It Wasn’t Me” - Shaggy
“But she caught me on the counter…wasn’t me…saw me banging on the sofa…wasn’t me…”
For the girlfriend of the serial philander
“Before He Cheats” - Carrie Underwood
“I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.”
For the desperate guy whose girlfriend just dumped him:
“Dry Your Eyes Mate” - The Streets
“'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me…There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'…Please, please, I beg you please”
For the desperate girl whose boyfriend just dumped her:
“Doing Too Much” - Paula Deanda
“I'm leaving messages and voicemails telling you I miss you. Baby am I doing too much?”
For misandrists (or girls who are angry about their lack of a date):
“U and UR Hand” - Pink
“I'm not here for your entertainment. You don't really want to mess with me tonight. Just stop and take a second - I was fine before you walked into my life…”
For misogynists (or guys who are angry about their lack of a date):
“Crush” - Angels and Airwaves
“I thought I could win your heart, nothing to take with me not even the memories. Just the thought of what was gone and a crushed hope in what never was”
For the girlfriend who makes twice what her boyfriend makes:
“Upgrade U” - Beyoncé
“Let me upgrade you…switch your neck ties to purple labels, upgrade you…introduce you to some new things…”
For the short guy with no game:
“I Wish” - Skee-Lo
“I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her…”
For those in a symbiotic relationship:
“With or Without You” - U2
“Nothing to win and nothing left to lose and you give yourself away…I can’t live with or without you…”
For the well traveled boyfriend:
“My Love” - Justin Timberlake
“Well baby I've been around the world, but I ain’t seen myself another girl like you…”
For guys who want to cheat on their girlfriends:
“Lips of an Angel” - Hinder
“My girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on… and I never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel…”
For girls who want to cheat on their boyfriends:
“Unfaithful” - Rihanna
“And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful, and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy. I can see him dying…. I don't wanna be a murderer…”
For fiancées who plan to leave their boyfriends at the altar:
“We Belong Together” - Mariah Carey
“Never imagined I’d be sitting here beside myself, guess I didn’t know you, guess I didn’t know me. But I thought I knew everything... when you left I lost a part of me, it’s still so hard to believe - come back baby please 'cause we belong together...”
For the teen boyfriend who wants to get in his girlfriends pants:
“Beautiful Soul” - Jesse McCartney
“I don't want another pretty face. I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul…”
For the girl whose marriage will last forever and ever:
“With You” - Jessica Simpson
“I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground. With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful baby, as I do now that I'm with you…”
And finally…for the guy who wants to show the ultimate expression of love:
“21 Questions” - 50 Cent
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake…”
-Anthony Buchanan, 2007
Oh, and Steven Colbert has his own ice cream now. Don't believe it? Read the article!
"The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth."
In the spirit of the day I have some musical tongue-in-cheek suggestions to help you celebrate the day:
For the extremely articulate boyfriend:
“Here (In Your Arms)” - Hellogoodbye
“I like, where we are, when we drive, in your car. I like, where we are, here.”
For the girl who knows exactly what she wants out of a relationship:
“Wannabe” - Spice Girls
“I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha…if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”
For the biology major who is explaining why he has no date:
“Gunning Down Romance” - Savage Garden
“Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine….cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen…”
For the clingy girl friend in a long distance relationship:
“My Heart Will Go On” - Celine Dion
“Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you…love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never go till we're one…”
For that those stuck in a relationship with a zombie:
“I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight” - Air Supply
“I just died in your arms tonight…broken hearts heart are all around me and I don’t see an easy way to get out of this…”
For the guy who got an “extra special” surprise for Valentine’s Day from his female friend:
“Billie Jean” - Michael Jackson
“She's just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son…”
For the realistic average looking guy:
“Cupids Chokehold” - Gym Class Heroes
“Take a look at my girlfriend; she's the only one I got. Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot…”
For the philosophy major with unrequited love:
“What Is Love” - Haddaway
“What is love? Yeah, oh, I don't know why you're not there. I give you my love, but you don't care…”
For the unromantic pimp:
“Late Night Tip” - Three Six Mafia
“I’m not the type that gets involved in long relationships…If you want romance you should just stick who you are really with. If you in that mood you can hit me on that late night tip…”
For the romantic pimp:
“Ignition” - R. Kelly
“Hey pretty girl I’m feelin’ you…that’s why I’m all up in yo grill trying to get you to a hotel…”
For the serial philander:
“It Wasn’t Me” - Shaggy
“But she caught me on the counter…wasn’t me…saw me banging on the sofa…wasn’t me…”
For the girlfriend of the serial philander
“Before He Cheats” - Carrie Underwood
“I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.”
For the desperate guy whose girlfriend just dumped him:
“Dry Your Eyes Mate” - The Streets
“'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me…There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'…Please, please, I beg you please”
For the desperate girl whose boyfriend just dumped her:
“Doing Too Much” - Paula Deanda
“I'm leaving messages and voicemails telling you I miss you. Baby am I doing too much?”
For misandrists (or girls who are angry about their lack of a date):
“U and UR Hand” - Pink
“I'm not here for your entertainment. You don't really want to mess with me tonight. Just stop and take a second - I was fine before you walked into my life…”
For misogynists (or guys who are angry about their lack of a date):
“Crush” - Angels and Airwaves
“I thought I could win your heart, nothing to take with me not even the memories. Just the thought of what was gone and a crushed hope in what never was”
For the girlfriend who makes twice what her boyfriend makes:
“Upgrade U” - Beyoncé
“Let me upgrade you…switch your neck ties to purple labels, upgrade you…introduce you to some new things…”
For the short guy with no game:
“I Wish” - Skee-Lo
“I wish I was little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her…”
For those in a symbiotic relationship:
“With or Without You” - U2
“Nothing to win and nothing left to lose and you give yourself away…I can’t live with or without you…”
For the well traveled boyfriend:
“My Love” - Justin Timberlake
“Well baby I've been around the world, but I ain’t seen myself another girl like you…”
For guys who want to cheat on their girlfriends:
“Lips of an Angel” - Hinder
“My girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on… and I never wanna say goodbye but girl you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel…”
For girls who want to cheat on their boyfriends:
“Unfaithful” - Rihanna
“And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful, and it kills him inside to know that I am happy with some other guy. I can see him dying…. I don't wanna be a murderer…”
For fiancées who plan to leave their boyfriends at the altar:
“We Belong Together” - Mariah Carey
“Never imagined I’d be sitting here beside myself, guess I didn’t know you, guess I didn’t know me. But I thought I knew everything... when you left I lost a part of me, it’s still so hard to believe - come back baby please 'cause we belong together...”
For the teen boyfriend who wants to get in his girlfriends pants:
“Beautiful Soul” - Jesse McCartney
“I don't want another pretty face. I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul…”
For the girl whose marriage will last forever and ever:
“With You” - Jessica Simpson
“I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground. With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful baby, as I do now that I'm with you…”
And finally…for the guy who wants to show the ultimate expression of love:
“21 Questions” - 50 Cent
“I love you like a fat kid loves cake…”
-Anthony Buchanan, 2007
Oh, and Steven Colbert has his own ice cream now. Don't believe it? Read the article!
"The sweet taste of liberty in your mouth."