This one goes out to the one[s] I love...
Someone told me you loose a lot of friends when you get married and have kids (which I did in the opposite order, but let's just set that aside for the sake of this rant). I never wanted that to prove true for me.
Distance seperates me from most, but I don't feel that I've "lost" them, just seperated from them really by miles. I know I could pick up the phone right now, call any number of them, and be no less their friend than the last time I spoke with them. I don't get to spend much time with these friends, or hang out nearly as much as I'd like, but we all have lives! Spouses, children, work, family...totally understandable.
Then I have my close friends that I still don't get to spend as much time with as I'd like to, because of my wife/mom status. Would I love to go out to clubs and parties on Saturday nights? Um, YEAH! Do I? Not so much. Once in a while, yeah but I simply don't like being the tired, grouchy, hung over mom/wife the next day. Occasionally, I'll get left out (or feel as though I am) because "he/she" will be there and "he/she" doesn't like me. *shrug* I'm over that. You don't like me? That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. But I won't put myself in an uncomfortable situation where I'm darting cold stares or whispers behind my back, just because I showed up.
I still don't view that as loosing my friends because of my marital status or my mommyhood. I like surrouding myself with people, sure, but life demands what it does and we gotta roll with the punches. Isn't that why they're your friends? Because they understand that, without having to have it explained to them? It's the difference between "wow, it's been a long time since I've talked to you!" and "why they FUCK haven't you called? You don't have 5 minutes for ME?"
Acquaintances talk to you in passing, either because they know you by association, or they just can't figure out why they never get to see you. They laugh at your jokes, enjoy your company and maybe even grab a bite to eat with you or accompany you to the gym. They come, they go. But your friends are the ones you call & cry to. The ones who know you to a T, have met (and probably put up with) all your family and "the ones" that have come and go, still love you, always, without a shadow of a doubt.
I love my friends...you know who you are. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.
Distance seperates me from most, but I don't feel that I've "lost" them, just seperated from them really by miles. I know I could pick up the phone right now, call any number of them, and be no less their friend than the last time I spoke with them. I don't get to spend much time with these friends, or hang out nearly as much as I'd like, but we all have lives! Spouses, children, work, family...totally understandable.
Then I have my close friends that I still don't get to spend as much time with as I'd like to, because of my wife/mom status. Would I love to go out to clubs and parties on Saturday nights? Um, YEAH! Do I? Not so much. Once in a while, yeah but I simply don't like being the tired, grouchy, hung over mom/wife the next day. Occasionally, I'll get left out (or feel as though I am) because "he/she" will be there and "he/she" doesn't like me. *shrug* I'm over that. You don't like me? That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. But I won't put myself in an uncomfortable situation where I'm darting cold stares or whispers behind my back, just because I showed up.
I still don't view that as loosing my friends because of my marital status or my mommyhood. I like surrouding myself with people, sure, but life demands what it does and we gotta roll with the punches. Isn't that why they're your friends? Because they understand that, without having to have it explained to them? It's the difference between "wow, it's been a long time since I've talked to you!" and "why they FUCK haven't you called? You don't have 5 minutes for ME?"
Acquaintances talk to you in passing, either because they know you by association, or they just can't figure out why they never get to see you. They laugh at your jokes, enjoy your company and maybe even grab a bite to eat with you or accompany you to the gym. They come, they go. But your friends are the ones you call & cry to. The ones who know you to a T, have met (and probably put up with) all your family and "the ones" that have come and go, still love you, always, without a shadow of a doubt.
I love my friends...you know who you are. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.