Funnies
I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
42.7% OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
99% OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND, BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?
LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK
42.7% OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
99% OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.
PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND, BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?
LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK