may the odds be ever in your favor
I cannot sleep.
But I must not read anymore tonight. Not if I plan to function at all tomorrow.
The school reading contest had it's annual field trip to see a movie based on a book has been the talk at work for a while.
I knew way back in January, that they were going to see the Hunger Games when it came out. Many of the students were extra excited. As the weeks drew nearer and nearer, getting your hands on a copy of the book in our library became more and more impossible. To date, I believe the waiting list is over 20 students long. High school, only. I can't imagine how long it would be if the middle schools were included. (I assume, they have their own copies if the request is great enough)
So...last week, I was informed that the teacher above me on the list of top readers did not wish to be a chaperone this year, and that if Ms Cz had no issues with my leaving, I could join them as another adult on the scene.
Okay. Awesome. But, if possible, I like to read a book before seeing a movie, especially if it's a particularly dramatic story. I like to do this so that I can form my own picture of the characters and settings.
So... Friday, there happens to be a copy in the library. It's clearly labeled with the next name on the waiting list. But Pat says to me that if it's not picked up by the end of the day, I could borrow it for the weekend. (I mean, it's not like I couldn't read it in that amount of time.) Liz, the head librarian, asked if I had a kobo app on my phone. She explained that if I did she could give me access to the libraries digital library, where the whole trilogy was listed. Downloading an app in the one location with free wifi in the building was a piece of cake. So I left with a library in my phone, and of course the other books I was reading at the time.
In fact, if I had borrowed that book, I probably would have read it quicker than I actually did and still be in possession of Kiss of Frost. (I'd been lent a newer series, suggested to us by one of the students. First book: Touch of Frost. It's like Percy Jackson meets The Gallagher Girls (or in my tv-addicted mind. Like Percy meets Veronica Mars).) I was compelled to finish those two books before I started the Hunger Games. Which as it happened to be was Sunday evening. More like Sunday night. I got a whole five chapters in when it was between 12 and 1 am and I realized I needed to sleep. That night, wasn't so bad.
By Monday night, I was 5 chapters from the end of the book. I knew I was just starting to get to the climax. But it was after 1. And even though I'd foolishly consumed caffeine after dinner I knew I had to try and sleep.
I couldn't turn off my brain. I just kept thinking that it was sitting on the end of my bed. I could turn it back and instantly be back in the story. And with it on my phone, I wouldn't even need to turn on the light to read.
It wasn't until my alarm first went off at 5:25 that I realized I was actually resting and not a bundle of nerves. Because I'd been dreaming about the book. How it would go, what would happen next. How in the world would they get out of their predicament. Or more importantly, who would?
Tuesday morning, I was reading it on my phone while checking people in. Tuesday, during lunch, I'd tuned out and even went so far as to eat a doughnut, apple sauce and tiny bottle of juice for lunch. Because I would be too consumed to do much else. I even missed the conversation where they discussed how I would drive myself to the theater so that I could leave right after the movie and be back in the middle of 4th hour instead of 5th.
Apparently, other people thought I was deep in conversation because I was staring so intently at my phone touching it every so many seconds to 'flip' the page. In reality, I was ignoring a conversation. I knew that the messages came in, but not able to pull myself out of the kobo app to check to see who they were from or what they were about.
By dinner, I was finished with Hunger Games and into Catching Fire. It's a trilogy download so I don't even have to exit, I just turn the next page and there's the next part of the story. I can't even tell you when exactly I finished one and started the other. I feel great pity on those who read them as they came out and had to wait for the next installment.
Even with refraining from caffeine, all day, I couldn't sleep that night. I made it to 5 chapters from the end...again. Or maybe four. (I don't remember clearly. I could look, but then I'd either loose my spot or get drawn back in.)
I kept trying to stop at the end of a chapter only, to realize that the endings are all teasing little cliffhangers and really stopping two pages shy of the end of the chapter would have been better.
In my fitful sleep, I worked out what was happening in that specific scene, and then after waking and dressing I had to read a bit more to confirm it before I went to work.
By the time we left the school for the movie, and hour in, I was twitching to read the rest, having made many ---not predictions, but more like wishes of how thing should go...or just anticipatory feelings of 'this event' is surely what is to be the outcome of all these little clues, and I can't wait until it happens for real.
But I also really wanted to see the movie.
As I drove to the theater, the radio djs started a conversation about the series and the movie. And the one who saw it last night simply said that she wanted more. Not that she was disappointed with what she got, but she really would have liked to have seen more development of the relationships. The movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes, and she just thought they should have gone ahead and made it three.
Then of course, they segued into the Taylor Swift song (which must play during the credits) and even though I've heard it a half a dozen times before, it resonated so much more after you read the book, or I suppose watch the movie. Because the important parts are all there, it stays very true to the heart of the story.
And hearing the reaction of a theater full of high schoolers was kind of a reward in itself. Being able to tell those who read the book from those who hadn't. Everyone...I mean everyone, applauding the appearance of a certain heroic character.
Although, there were many places where their reactions were terrifying as well.
There were of course differences, but none that detracted from the story, some that were back ground stuff to help an audience follow, when we can't hear our main characters thought processes.
The boy who played Peeta nearly killed me. From the beginning I just want to hug him. Damn him and his emotion filled expressions.
It is now nearly midnight on Wednesday, I'm only on chapter 14, so a little more than half way through, the third installment, Mockingjay. And I find I cannot allow myself to read further.
Not if I want my heart to work in the morning.
As I read this third book, I feel as though I'm in the Hunger Games myself. Not the book, or the movie, but the event for which the book is named. Like reading it and the turmoil it brings up inside me is the same as the agony one would feel locked in the arena. Just when you think it can't possibly hurt more, the Capitol comes up with some new twist that crushes your spirit, rips out your heart, makes you feel the need to catch your breathe, or possibly let it out. But you can't. Because you're caught up in it now, there's no backing out. No reprieve. Not a sane one. Sure you strap yourself in for a moments rest or a nights, but you know that it will haunt your dreams, not knowing how it will go.
Just like a participant, you think you've figured out something that the others have overlooked to be a possibility. You think way back in ch 3--oooh this is foreshadowing for THIS event to come, but when it finally does you are not prepared. You are not capable of realizing the true depths of his evil. You knew it was coming, but you might as well not have seen it coming at all it cuts so deep.
And now, I find Katniss heading for a change of scenery, and because I'm as wrecked as she is I think I'll do the same. Come up for some fresh air. And praying that when I get to the end I will not be disappointed.
Based on others' reactions I won't. But being a book about a distopian future I cannot allow myself to truly hope for a 'happy' ending. And even if I did, I'm not sure at this point what I would classify as a happy ending. All I know, is I do not envy Katniss Everdeen. Not one bit. But I do root for her. And know, that I will follow her into the flames even when I know there's a real chance I'm going to get burned.
If you haven't read The Hunger Games you may not be able to follow my ravings, but mostly I'm just recording my feelings to get them out of my head. I'm too tired to realize if there are spoilers in the above writings. I know there are no major ones for anyone who is at least familiar with the premise of the book, and if you're not I'm not sure you'd recognize one of my off handed comments as the spoiler it had potential to be.
/end ramble
But I must not read anymore tonight. Not if I plan to function at all tomorrow.
The school reading contest had it's annual field trip to see a movie based on a book has been the talk at work for a while.
I knew way back in January, that they were going to see the Hunger Games when it came out. Many of the students were extra excited. As the weeks drew nearer and nearer, getting your hands on a copy of the book in our library became more and more impossible. To date, I believe the waiting list is over 20 students long. High school, only. I can't imagine how long it would be if the middle schools were included. (I assume, they have their own copies if the request is great enough)
So...last week, I was informed that the teacher above me on the list of top readers did not wish to be a chaperone this year, and that if Ms Cz had no issues with my leaving, I could join them as another adult on the scene.
Okay. Awesome. But, if possible, I like to read a book before seeing a movie, especially if it's a particularly dramatic story. I like to do this so that I can form my own picture of the characters and settings.
So... Friday, there happens to be a copy in the library. It's clearly labeled with the next name on the waiting list. But Pat says to me that if it's not picked up by the end of the day, I could borrow it for the weekend. (I mean, it's not like I couldn't read it in that amount of time.) Liz, the head librarian, asked if I had a kobo app on my phone. She explained that if I did she could give me access to the libraries digital library, where the whole trilogy was listed. Downloading an app in the one location with free wifi in the building was a piece of cake. So I left with a library in my phone, and of course the other books I was reading at the time.
In fact, if I had borrowed that book, I probably would have read it quicker than I actually did and still be in possession of Kiss of Frost. (I'd been lent a newer series, suggested to us by one of the students. First book: Touch of Frost. It's like Percy Jackson meets The Gallagher Girls (or in my tv-addicted mind. Like Percy meets Veronica Mars).) I was compelled to finish those two books before I started the Hunger Games. Which as it happened to be was Sunday evening. More like Sunday night. I got a whole five chapters in when it was between 12 and 1 am and I realized I needed to sleep. That night, wasn't so bad.
By Monday night, I was 5 chapters from the end of the book. I knew I was just starting to get to the climax. But it was after 1. And even though I'd foolishly consumed caffeine after dinner I knew I had to try and sleep.
I couldn't turn off my brain. I just kept thinking that it was sitting on the end of my bed. I could turn it back and instantly be back in the story. And with it on my phone, I wouldn't even need to turn on the light to read.
It wasn't until my alarm first went off at 5:25 that I realized I was actually resting and not a bundle of nerves. Because I'd been dreaming about the book. How it would go, what would happen next. How in the world would they get out of their predicament. Or more importantly, who would?
Tuesday morning, I was reading it on my phone while checking people in. Tuesday, during lunch, I'd tuned out and even went so far as to eat a doughnut, apple sauce and tiny bottle of juice for lunch. Because I would be too consumed to do much else. I even missed the conversation where they discussed how I would drive myself to the theater so that I could leave right after the movie and be back in the middle of 4th hour instead of 5th.
Apparently, other people thought I was deep in conversation because I was staring so intently at my phone touching it every so many seconds to 'flip' the page. In reality, I was ignoring a conversation. I knew that the messages came in, but not able to pull myself out of the kobo app to check to see who they were from or what they were about.
By dinner, I was finished with Hunger Games and into Catching Fire. It's a trilogy download so I don't even have to exit, I just turn the next page and there's the next part of the story. I can't even tell you when exactly I finished one and started the other. I feel great pity on those who read them as they came out and had to wait for the next installment.
Even with refraining from caffeine, all day, I couldn't sleep that night. I made it to 5 chapters from the end...again. Or maybe four. (I don't remember clearly. I could look, but then I'd either loose my spot or get drawn back in.)
I kept trying to stop at the end of a chapter only, to realize that the endings are all teasing little cliffhangers and really stopping two pages shy of the end of the chapter would have been better.
In my fitful sleep, I worked out what was happening in that specific scene, and then after waking and dressing I had to read a bit more to confirm it before I went to work.
By the time we left the school for the movie, and hour in, I was twitching to read the rest, having made many ---not predictions, but more like wishes of how thing should go...or just anticipatory feelings of 'this event' is surely what is to be the outcome of all these little clues, and I can't wait until it happens for real.
But I also really wanted to see the movie.
As I drove to the theater, the radio djs started a conversation about the series and the movie. And the one who saw it last night simply said that she wanted more. Not that she was disappointed with what she got, but she really would have liked to have seen more development of the relationships. The movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes, and she just thought they should have gone ahead and made it three.
Then of course, they segued into the Taylor Swift song (which must play during the credits) and even though I've heard it a half a dozen times before, it resonated so much more after you read the book, or I suppose watch the movie. Because the important parts are all there, it stays very true to the heart of the story.
And hearing the reaction of a theater full of high schoolers was kind of a reward in itself. Being able to tell those who read the book from those who hadn't. Everyone...I mean everyone, applauding the appearance of a certain heroic character.
Although, there were many places where their reactions were terrifying as well.
There were of course differences, but none that detracted from the story, some that were back ground stuff to help an audience follow, when we can't hear our main characters thought processes.
The boy who played Peeta nearly killed me. From the beginning I just want to hug him. Damn him and his emotion filled expressions.
It is now nearly midnight on Wednesday, I'm only on chapter 14, so a little more than half way through, the third installment, Mockingjay. And I find I cannot allow myself to read further.
Not if I want my heart to work in the morning.
As I read this third book, I feel as though I'm in the Hunger Games myself. Not the book, or the movie, but the event for which the book is named. Like reading it and the turmoil it brings up inside me is the same as the agony one would feel locked in the arena. Just when you think it can't possibly hurt more, the Capitol comes up with some new twist that crushes your spirit, rips out your heart, makes you feel the need to catch your breathe, or possibly let it out. But you can't. Because you're caught up in it now, there's no backing out. No reprieve. Not a sane one. Sure you strap yourself in for a moments rest or a nights, but you know that it will haunt your dreams, not knowing how it will go.
Just like a participant, you think you've figured out something that the others have overlooked to be a possibility. You think way back in ch 3--oooh this is foreshadowing for THIS event to come, but when it finally does you are not prepared. You are not capable of realizing the true depths of his evil. You knew it was coming, but you might as well not have seen it coming at all it cuts so deep.
And now, I find Katniss heading for a change of scenery, and because I'm as wrecked as she is I think I'll do the same. Come up for some fresh air. And praying that when I get to the end I will not be disappointed.
Based on others' reactions I won't. But being a book about a distopian future I cannot allow myself to truly hope for a 'happy' ending. And even if I did, I'm not sure at this point what I would classify as a happy ending. All I know, is I do not envy Katniss Everdeen. Not one bit. But I do root for her. And know, that I will follow her into the flames even when I know there's a real chance I'm going to get burned.
If you haven't read The Hunger Games you may not be able to follow my ravings, but mostly I'm just recording my feelings to get them out of my head. I'm too tired to realize if there are spoilers in the above writings. I know there are no major ones for anyone who is at least familiar with the premise of the book, and if you're not I'm not sure you'd recognize one of my off handed comments as the spoiler it had potential to be.
/end ramble