fic exchange: [Not] Love
Title: [Not] Love
Author: akaxiah
Rating: PG, just to be sure
Prompt: for skyangel2009's life, hearts, beach prompt hope you like this!
Warning: i've never written anything so long before >_<
Summary: Changmin feels that his world is so small.
Life
Changmin removes his flip-flops, takes and feels everything in, and eventually begins to walk. The light breeze whips his hair in various directions, brushes up sand across his cheeks. He wiggles his toes a bit, enjoys the sensation of grit in between. He looks around and becomes satisfied with the way the place is half-deserted - there were maybe just two or three couples loitering around, and they couldn’t care less who he was (he didn’t care too anyway, as long as they left him alone). He plops down, removes his camera’s strap from his neck and carefully places the contraption on his lap.
Being in this sort of place has always been refreshing for the youngest in the group. The endless stretch of sea and sky made the fact that his world was so small, so painfully vivid. He imagines that he can see all that he possesses, the sort of non-material ones, right in front of him, and starts sorting out which was his, and which were someone else’s--
Here’s my lopsided smile, my height, there’s Yoochun-hyung’s tears (or teary-eyed-ness), Jaejoong-hyung’s quiet. Oh, my sarcasm (they said I’d been missing this), Junsu’s childishness, Yunho-hyung’s passion for dancing, my long limbs, Junsu’s jokes, Yoochun’s ability to write lyrics, my IQ (haha).
There’s Jaejoong-hyung’s way of covering his smile, my shyness, Yunho-hyung’s confidence…
So small, his world was so small, consisting of work, family, and four other people, one of which who seemed to have stealthily snuck in.
..Was it Junsu’s, or my own cuteness? Is it his happiness, or mine?
It’s disconcerting when your happiness (or any other emotion) depends on someone. Why was it, that where this hyung of his was concerned, he feels a sense of imbalance, that sort of similar sensation when you’re dreaming that you’re falling towards something and wake up with a jolt? Changmin is still waiting for that nudge. In his current state, it makes him want to always provoke and poke the smaller man, because maybe then, he’d find the answers to his question.
But what does Junsu have to do with him figuring things out?
And more importantly... what do you call this sensation?
Hearts
“Yoochun, how big is a heart?” Junsu had asked, voice half-muffled by the fact that his head was stuck in a cabinet, rummaging not-so-neatly through its contents. Changmin marvels at how his hyung was even able to tell that it was Yoochun who just walked past him, and decides that with a posterior as big as that, it’ll definitely have a life of its own (and consequently eyes to spy on people passing by). Bored, he made up his mind to only half listen, but their baritone had crouched beside Junsu, making the latter sit back on his haunches to pay attention, and Changmin, peer a bit more closer, to see what was going on.
Yoochun takes the other’s hand, balls it up and with a smile, answers, “About this big”, cupping the fist in his own two hands.
“Okay!” The answer was too bright, too blinding. Changmin continues to eat.
Later, when they were given permission to spend time in any way , Changmin immediately hooks up with the hotel’s WiFi and surfs uhm…very PG stuff. Yoochun-hyung and Jaejoong hyung were probably taking a drag somewhere, Yunho-hyung having a chat with their manager, while Junsu… where was Junsu?
After all the rummaging he did, he had managed to borrow a mini-shovel from someone, and, borrowing sandals from Yunho-hyung (without permission!), had headed out.
Changmin cringes. So small. His world was so small.
He closed off his laptop, grabbed his camera and headed out.
When he looks up, a big fat droplet promptly lands on his eye. The whole right side of his face crinkles a bit from the sting, but he has no time to wipe it off, when it is followed by another and many others. Thinking only about the safety of his camera, he gets up, hurriedly brushes the sand off his butt, and runs to their room.
Everyone is there; the two eldest are deciding on where they’ll order dinner, Yoochun is sipping from a warm cup of something, and he could hear their manager typing away in one of the rooms. Changmin is the only one who has realized that Junsu is missing. Without thinking, he puts down the camera on the couch and goes off again.
Life, Hearts, Beach
Junsu is digging fervently, clumsily at first, because the wind made a mess of everything. Now that the sand was moist, he made short work of the task. Changmin finds him in a really grimy state, the sand lodging even between the locks of his hair. In front of him was a narrow hole that seemed quite deep. The younger man stops half-a foot away from him, to avoid getting equally dirty, and almost trips over a glass bottle. Frustrated, he asks, “What are you doing?”
“Digging.”
If he wasn’t already all muddy, Changmin would have flung a handful of wet gravel at him, “Obviously.”
“Then why are you asking if you could already see that I’m digging?”
The taller man exhales quite violently, then reclines. The droplets pelt his face, but he doesn’t care anymore. He was already soaked through to his underwear anyway, it wouldn’t make any more difference.
“Done!” Junsu says, then surprises the other by laying beside him. The bottle is in his hand, poised above his chest. Changmin watches as his hyung, eyes closed, just lies impossibly still (for Junsu, anyway), that he becomes convinced that his companion somehow died. Just as his hand was about to touch Junsu’s cheek, the eyes fly open, and, turning to his dongsaeng with a really wide grin, he says, “We’re really good at keeping secrets.”
Changmin can only half-process what had been said. His mind was flying back to when he first met this hyung, when Yunho had semi-pushed a sort of sulky Junsu towards a hesitant, and years younger Changmin. When the older boy had looked at him, the pouting lips had twitched and became a blinding smile. A thought passed through Changmin’s head then, how could he have forgotten, it was something so important. He needs to remember -
A rustling of cloth makes Changmin realize that his hyung has already gotten up, and begins to place the bottle in the hole. The younger boy has never done a sit up as fast as what he had just done, and his arm darts out to stop Junsu. For the first time, he notices that the jar is just big enough to enclose his hyung’s fist.
Hello love at first sight, nice to meet you too.
-the memory hits Changmin powerfully, making him recoil. As he lands on his butt, he ends up snatching the container away from a puzzled-looking Junsu. The older man is about to say something, head tilting to one side, but Changmin beats him to it, “Wait a bit, ‘kay?”
Junsu nods, sits beside him.
“Hey, Junsu..”
Changmin catches the other’s lips with his own. He felt the sharp way Junsu took an intake of breath, can feel the shivers being emitted (but that was probably from the cold). Slowly (though not as steadily as he hoped), Changmin moved away.
Junsu avoids his eyes, opts to stare at the jar in Changmin’s hand. The rain keeps on going.
A drop falls on his eyelashes, the younger boy breathes out, places the bottle against his chest, all the while looking at his hyung.
Junsu finally meets his eyes.
Later, they walk back towards their hotel, wet clothes and plastered sand making each step heavier. Just before going in, Junsu pauses, grabs one of Changmin’s sleeve, and smiles at him when he says, “Next year… maybe we can go back for it?”
----
really sorry if this was so... all over the place >_<
Author: akaxiah
Rating: PG, just to be sure
Prompt: for skyangel2009's life, hearts, beach prompt hope you like this!
Warning: i've never written anything so long before >_<
Summary: Changmin feels that his world is so small.
Life
Changmin removes his flip-flops, takes and feels everything in, and eventually begins to walk. The light breeze whips his hair in various directions, brushes up sand across his cheeks. He wiggles his toes a bit, enjoys the sensation of grit in between. He looks around and becomes satisfied with the way the place is half-deserted - there were maybe just two or three couples loitering around, and they couldn’t care less who he was (he didn’t care too anyway, as long as they left him alone). He plops down, removes his camera’s strap from his neck and carefully places the contraption on his lap.
Being in this sort of place has always been refreshing for the youngest in the group. The endless stretch of sea and sky made the fact that his world was so small, so painfully vivid. He imagines that he can see all that he possesses, the sort of non-material ones, right in front of him, and starts sorting out which was his, and which were someone else’s--
Here’s my lopsided smile, my height, there’s Yoochun-hyung’s tears (or teary-eyed-ness), Jaejoong-hyung’s quiet. Oh, my sarcasm (they said I’d been missing this), Junsu’s childishness, Yunho-hyung’s passion for dancing, my long limbs, Junsu’s jokes, Yoochun’s ability to write lyrics, my IQ (haha).
There’s Jaejoong-hyung’s way of covering his smile, my shyness, Yunho-hyung’s confidence…
So small, his world was so small, consisting of work, family, and four other people, one of which who seemed to have stealthily snuck in.
..Was it Junsu’s, or my own cuteness? Is it his happiness, or mine?
It’s disconcerting when your happiness (or any other emotion) depends on someone. Why was it, that where this hyung of his was concerned, he feels a sense of imbalance, that sort of similar sensation when you’re dreaming that you’re falling towards something and wake up with a jolt? Changmin is still waiting for that nudge. In his current state, it makes him want to always provoke and poke the smaller man, because maybe then, he’d find the answers to his question.
But what does Junsu have to do with him figuring things out?
And more importantly... what do you call this sensation?
Hearts
“Yoochun, how big is a heart?” Junsu had asked, voice half-muffled by the fact that his head was stuck in a cabinet, rummaging not-so-neatly through its contents. Changmin marvels at how his hyung was even able to tell that it was Yoochun who just walked past him, and decides that with a posterior as big as that, it’ll definitely have a life of its own (and consequently eyes to spy on people passing by). Bored, he made up his mind to only half listen, but their baritone had crouched beside Junsu, making the latter sit back on his haunches to pay attention, and Changmin, peer a bit more closer, to see what was going on.
Yoochun takes the other’s hand, balls it up and with a smile, answers, “About this big”, cupping the fist in his own two hands.
“Okay!” The answer was too bright, too blinding. Changmin continues to eat.
Later, when they were given permission to spend time in any way , Changmin immediately hooks up with the hotel’s WiFi and surfs uhm…very PG stuff. Yoochun-hyung and Jaejoong hyung were probably taking a drag somewhere, Yunho-hyung having a chat with their manager, while Junsu… where was Junsu?
After all the rummaging he did, he had managed to borrow a mini-shovel from someone, and, borrowing sandals from Yunho-hyung (without permission!), had headed out.
Changmin cringes. So small. His world was so small.
He closed off his laptop, grabbed his camera and headed out.
When he looks up, a big fat droplet promptly lands on his eye. The whole right side of his face crinkles a bit from the sting, but he has no time to wipe it off, when it is followed by another and many others. Thinking only about the safety of his camera, he gets up, hurriedly brushes the sand off his butt, and runs to their room.
Everyone is there; the two eldest are deciding on where they’ll order dinner, Yoochun is sipping from a warm cup of something, and he could hear their manager typing away in one of the rooms. Changmin is the only one who has realized that Junsu is missing. Without thinking, he puts down the camera on the couch and goes off again.
Life, Hearts, Beach
Junsu is digging fervently, clumsily at first, because the wind made a mess of everything. Now that the sand was moist, he made short work of the task. Changmin finds him in a really grimy state, the sand lodging even between the locks of his hair. In front of him was a narrow hole that seemed quite deep. The younger man stops half-a foot away from him, to avoid getting equally dirty, and almost trips over a glass bottle. Frustrated, he asks, “What are you doing?”
“Digging.”
If he wasn’t already all muddy, Changmin would have flung a handful of wet gravel at him, “Obviously.”
“Then why are you asking if you could already see that I’m digging?”
The taller man exhales quite violently, then reclines. The droplets pelt his face, but he doesn’t care anymore. He was already soaked through to his underwear anyway, it wouldn’t make any more difference.
“Done!” Junsu says, then surprises the other by laying beside him. The bottle is in his hand, poised above his chest. Changmin watches as his hyung, eyes closed, just lies impossibly still (for Junsu, anyway), that he becomes convinced that his companion somehow died. Just as his hand was about to touch Junsu’s cheek, the eyes fly open, and, turning to his dongsaeng with a really wide grin, he says, “We’re really good at keeping secrets.”
Changmin can only half-process what had been said. His mind was flying back to when he first met this hyung, when Yunho had semi-pushed a sort of sulky Junsu towards a hesitant, and years younger Changmin. When the older boy had looked at him, the pouting lips had twitched and became a blinding smile. A thought passed through Changmin’s head then, how could he have forgotten, it was something so important. He needs to remember -
A rustling of cloth makes Changmin realize that his hyung has already gotten up, and begins to place the bottle in the hole. The younger boy has never done a sit up as fast as what he had just done, and his arm darts out to stop Junsu. For the first time, he notices that the jar is just big enough to enclose his hyung’s fist.
Hello love at first sight, nice to meet you too.
-the memory hits Changmin powerfully, making him recoil. As he lands on his butt, he ends up snatching the container away from a puzzled-looking Junsu. The older man is about to say something, head tilting to one side, but Changmin beats him to it, “Wait a bit, ‘kay?”
Junsu nods, sits beside him.
“Hey, Junsu..”
Changmin catches the other’s lips with his own. He felt the sharp way Junsu took an intake of breath, can feel the shivers being emitted (but that was probably from the cold). Slowly (though not as steadily as he hoped), Changmin moved away.
Junsu avoids his eyes, opts to stare at the jar in Changmin’s hand. The rain keeps on going.
A drop falls on his eyelashes, the younger boy breathes out, places the bottle against his chest, all the while looking at his hyung.
Junsu finally meets his eyes.
Later, they walk back towards their hotel, wet clothes and plastered sand making each step heavier. Just before going in, Junsu pauses, grabs one of Changmin’s sleeve, and smiles at him when he says, “Next year… maybe we can go back for it?”
----
really sorry if this was so... all over the place >_<