(Fanfiction) Puppies
Title: #53: Puppies (Heechul x Leeteuk)
Challenge Started: 07/22/10
Rating: Pg-13
Genre: Humor
Pairing: Side Hanchul
a/n: Collaboration with imhappi (She wrote the funny Siwon rant at the end and did a lot of editing XD)
Summary: Leeteuk's half asleep. Heechul wants a puppy. Hankyung gets jealous. Siwon gets religious. Chaos ensues.
It had been a long night. Leeteuk had barely slept 2 hours after a busy evening of recording, and was very much not in the mood to deal with nonsense. While sitting at the counter dangerously holding a mug of tipping steaming coffee in his hands, he kept his drooping eyelids open solely by willpower. Bringing the mug to his lips, Leeteuk relished the rare silence in the dorms, and fleetingly praised his timing. Unfortunately, it was too good to last. “Leeteuk!” Cried a shrill, familiar voice followed by the slam of a door. Startled, Leeteuk barely avoided dropping his mug and regained his composure quickly.
As the heavy footsteps grew louder to the point that Leeteuk could feel vibrations at the base of his seat, he hoped that the person would be easy to appease. Irony slapped him in the face as Heechul, flushed red with frustration, stormed into the kitchen.
A shattering sound pierced Leeteuk’s hazy consciousness when his mug slipped from his fingers. Realising that he was gaping openly at Heechul’s offensive appearance (composed of a loose towel around his hips), his leaderly instincts kicked in as he cleared his throat and awkwardly hopped off his stool to get a broom and dustpan. “What is it, Heechul?”, asked Leeteuk, his voice edged with exhaustion as he fumbled around the pantry. “I want a puppy.” Heechul stated bluntly. Leeteuk whipped his head around (smacking his head on the doorframe in the process) “You want a WHAT?” Leeteuk asked incredulously, mentally praying that his hearing was momentarily defective. “I want a puppy.” repeated Heechul, rolling his eyes, disregarding his hyung’s exasperated tone.
His shattered mug forgotten, Leeteuk wobbled back to his stool and sat himself down, trying to ignore the throbbing on the left side of forehead. “May I ask why, Heechul?” enquired Leeteuk with the most composed tone he could muster up at the moment. Arms crossed, Heechul strode across the mess on the ground and plopped into a stool across from Leeteuk. He immediately started to ramble about his “logical” reason.
“Well, I was playing with Heebum in the living room minding my own business when Hankyung sauntered in and laughed at me!” Heechul paused dramatically and glanced at Leeteuk, expecting a reaction at Hankyung’s “appalling” action. When all he was rewarded with was an irritated glare concealed under layers of forced understanding, Heechul propped his elbow on the counter and continued. “When I asked what was so funny, he said ‘Aren’t pets always similar to their masters?’ Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about.” Heechul drummed his manicured fingernails on the marble countertop. “That’s when he started listing off ways that Yesung and Ddangkkoma were similar and looked at me with this little grin that totally pissed me off. You know what he said next?” Leeteuk just barely gathered enough willpower to stop himself from bluntly stating that he didn’t particularly care. “He said ‘you’re both pampered princesses’! Then that snarky little Kyuhyun walked across the living room and said ‘He’s right hyung, you are both pretty bitchy.’ Apparently my baby scratched Kyuhyun on the face last week when he was trying to get him off his book.” Heechul snorted. “Yeah right. I just know Kyuhyun doesn’t like him… I’m sure my Heebum did it purely out of self defence!” Leeteuk mentally praised Kyuhyun and Hankyung.
“Well I asked Hannie what his ideal pet would be, and he said a puppy since they’re loyal and cute.” A sly look crossed Heechul’s face, as he licked his lips darkly. “I thought he was talking too much and decided to shut him up.” Well, thought Leeteuk. That explains the towel. He tried to avoid imagining the condition of the living room. “So…you want…a puppy.” Leeteuk lamely concluded. Heechul nodded enthusiastically as he looked Leeteuk straight in his eyes.
He sighed; why couldn’t the conversation had been on a day when his brainwaves were actually functioning properly? “We’ll talk about this later, Heechul.” Leeteuk said, not even trying to make his attempt at stalling more subtle, and tiredly half-skipped, half-stumbled off his stool…slipping on conveniently placed spilt coffee. As he impulsively grabbed onto the closest surface (which was unfortunately, Heechul’s arm), Leeteuk almost laughed at how cliché the situation became when a half- naked body toppled on top of his own.
When Leeteuk thought his timing couldn’t get any worse, a worried looking Hankyung barged in with Siwon in tow. “Hyung, have you seen--” Hankyung abruptly stopped talking as he was greeted with the sight of a Heechul (in just a towel) on top of a weary looking Leeteuk. This time Leeteuk really did laugh; Siwon’s appalled expression led his eyebrows to his hairline, and the murderously jealous look on Hankyung’s face seemed capable of burning him to smithereens. In a whiz of color, Hankyung grabbed Heechul by the wrist and dragged him off Leeteuk and out the door. Relieved, Leeteuk sat up (not missing the accomplished smirk on Heechul’s face) and looked forward to a precious hour of silence…until he realised that Siwon was still in the room. “Hyung…” Siwon began slowly, “Do you know what homosexuality means? As Christians, we believe that the sole reason that sex exists to procreate. You see, when 2 males have sex, that procreation does not exist...” Siwon ranted, his eyes bulging from how passionately he accented his words. Oh boy… Leeteuk sighed heavily, droning out Siwon's speech. It would be a long day…
***
For the rest of the week, Hankyung relentlessly trailed after Heechul. It was impossible to find the two in separate rooms. “Looks like I don’t need a puppy after all” Heechul smugly announced at breakfast one day with a look that lingered on Leeteuk, looking at Hankyung (who had his arms protectively wrapped around his waist) in a way that translated as already got one right here.
Needless to say, Siwon lost his voice by the end of the week.
~End~
Challenge Started: 07/22/10
Rating: Pg-13
Genre: Humor
Pairing: Side Hanchul
a/n: Collaboration with imhappi (She wrote the funny Siwon rant at the end and did a lot of editing XD)
Summary: Leeteuk's half asleep. Heechul wants a puppy. Hankyung gets jealous. Siwon gets religious. Chaos ensues.
It had been a long night. Leeteuk had barely slept 2 hours after a busy evening of recording, and was very much not in the mood to deal with nonsense. While sitting at the counter dangerously holding a mug of tipping steaming coffee in his hands, he kept his drooping eyelids open solely by willpower. Bringing the mug to his lips, Leeteuk relished the rare silence in the dorms, and fleetingly praised his timing. Unfortunately, it was too good to last. “Leeteuk!” Cried a shrill, familiar voice followed by the slam of a door. Startled, Leeteuk barely avoided dropping his mug and regained his composure quickly.
As the heavy footsteps grew louder to the point that Leeteuk could feel vibrations at the base of his seat, he hoped that the person would be easy to appease. Irony slapped him in the face as Heechul, flushed red with frustration, stormed into the kitchen.
A shattering sound pierced Leeteuk’s hazy consciousness when his mug slipped from his fingers. Realising that he was gaping openly at Heechul’s offensive appearance (composed of a loose towel around his hips), his leaderly instincts kicked in as he cleared his throat and awkwardly hopped off his stool to get a broom and dustpan. “What is it, Heechul?”, asked Leeteuk, his voice edged with exhaustion as he fumbled around the pantry. “I want a puppy.” Heechul stated bluntly. Leeteuk whipped his head around (smacking his head on the doorframe in the process) “You want a WHAT?” Leeteuk asked incredulously, mentally praying that his hearing was momentarily defective. “I want a puppy.” repeated Heechul, rolling his eyes, disregarding his hyung’s exasperated tone.
His shattered mug forgotten, Leeteuk wobbled back to his stool and sat himself down, trying to ignore the throbbing on the left side of forehead. “May I ask why, Heechul?” enquired Leeteuk with the most composed tone he could muster up at the moment. Arms crossed, Heechul strode across the mess on the ground and plopped into a stool across from Leeteuk. He immediately started to ramble about his “logical” reason.
“Well, I was playing with Heebum in the living room minding my own business when Hankyung sauntered in and laughed at me!” Heechul paused dramatically and glanced at Leeteuk, expecting a reaction at Hankyung’s “appalling” action. When all he was rewarded with was an irritated glare concealed under layers of forced understanding, Heechul propped his elbow on the counter and continued. “When I asked what was so funny, he said ‘Aren’t pets always similar to their masters?’ Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about.” Heechul drummed his manicured fingernails on the marble countertop. “That’s when he started listing off ways that Yesung and Ddangkkoma were similar and looked at me with this little grin that totally pissed me off. You know what he said next?” Leeteuk just barely gathered enough willpower to stop himself from bluntly stating that he didn’t particularly care. “He said ‘you’re both pampered princesses’! Then that snarky little Kyuhyun walked across the living room and said ‘He’s right hyung, you are both pretty bitchy.’ Apparently my baby scratched Kyuhyun on the face last week when he was trying to get him off his book.” Heechul snorted. “Yeah right. I just know Kyuhyun doesn’t like him… I’m sure my Heebum did it purely out of self defence!” Leeteuk mentally praised Kyuhyun and Hankyung.
“Well I asked Hannie what his ideal pet would be, and he said a puppy since they’re loyal and cute.” A sly look crossed Heechul’s face, as he licked his lips darkly. “I thought he was talking too much and decided to shut him up.” Well, thought Leeteuk. That explains the towel. He tried to avoid imagining the condition of the living room. “So…you want…a puppy.” Leeteuk lamely concluded. Heechul nodded enthusiastically as he looked Leeteuk straight in his eyes.
He sighed; why couldn’t the conversation had been on a day when his brainwaves were actually functioning properly? “We’ll talk about this later, Heechul.” Leeteuk said, not even trying to make his attempt at stalling more subtle, and tiredly half-skipped, half-stumbled off his stool…slipping on conveniently placed spilt coffee. As he impulsively grabbed onto the closest surface (which was unfortunately, Heechul’s arm), Leeteuk almost laughed at how cliché the situation became when a half- naked body toppled on top of his own.
When Leeteuk thought his timing couldn’t get any worse, a worried looking Hankyung barged in with Siwon in tow. “Hyung, have you seen--” Hankyung abruptly stopped talking as he was greeted with the sight of a Heechul (in just a towel) on top of a weary looking Leeteuk. This time Leeteuk really did laugh; Siwon’s appalled expression led his eyebrows to his hairline, and the murderously jealous look on Hankyung’s face seemed capable of burning him to smithereens. In a whiz of color, Hankyung grabbed Heechul by the wrist and dragged him off Leeteuk and out the door. Relieved, Leeteuk sat up (not missing the accomplished smirk on Heechul’s face) and looked forward to a precious hour of silence…until he realised that Siwon was still in the room. “Hyung…” Siwon began slowly, “Do you know what homosexuality means? As Christians, we believe that the sole reason that sex exists to procreate. You see, when 2 males have sex, that procreation does not exist...” Siwon ranted, his eyes bulging from how passionately he accented his words. Oh boy… Leeteuk sighed heavily, droning out Siwon's speech. It would be a long day…
***
For the rest of the week, Hankyung relentlessly trailed after Heechul. It was impossible to find the two in separate rooms. “Looks like I don’t need a puppy after all” Heechul smugly announced at breakfast one day with a look that lingered on Leeteuk, looking at Hankyung (who had his arms protectively wrapped around his waist) in a way that translated as already got one right here.
Needless to say, Siwon lost his voice by the end of the week.
~End~