Alfred, I am for you.
Title: Alfred, I am for You
Genres: Romance, Drama, Angst
Ratings/Warnings: K, another failed attempt of angst. Slight FrUk
Summary: Arthur finally realized the mistake he had done. Letting the only chance go.
Notes: To amdeloag, I hope I fulfilled my promise! Anys, the sequel to ' Arthur, Please Don't Cry'
I immediately checked out at the grocery store upon receiving a phone call from mum, informing me that Alfred was over. Damn that stupid prat for not telling me earlier! But as I arrived home, I felt like dropping the bags after seeing Alfred holding my notebook.
What shall I do now that he's seen it? This selfish feeling of mine was destroying the friendship we made, and would hopefully continue to grow. The whole calm expression was only a pure façade of mine and grabbed the notebook. He looked surprised for a while, but I could already sense the rejection. I understood, but how can I handle it?
What pained me more was that he didn't tell me that he and Stephanie would move to New York in order to pursue their careers. I'm supposed to be his best friend and I have the right to know anything and everything firstly, but it seems that I was the last for this time. I only discovered it through Maria. I should be the one accompanying him, not that stupid whore of a girlfriend! But what can I do? I got accepted in a somewhere near university…and Alfred preferred her over me.
How foolish was I to cry over something I could never attain! How stupid was I to hope on something unreachable? And by the moment he grabbed my hands, my heart beat rapidly as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. What was I hopeful for if I already knew where this would all end?
And as I let go of his hands, he did nothing to stop from going away.
~||O||~
Four years went by in painfully slow pace and I did my best to appear unhurt, another mask I had to put as I faced another chapter of life. Alfred and I never lost communication with each other, though it never was longer than you'd expect. We only said short hellos and goodbyes to each other, updating on our current status -whether we passed on something or not. But we never talked about the past. We never connected anything from the past.
That is when I met Francis. I first had this low opinion on him, never focused in studies and would rather hang out with friends; either that or hitting the souls of poor girls. I considered him a big threat, not only to my studies, because he liked annoying me, together with his friends, Gilbert and Antonio. I was one of the easiest target of bullying at that time -even when I was already in college-, probably because of my brows. But I never thought of it as a laughable matter. I've seen others that had thicker eyebrows than mine.
But things and perspective changed by the time he saw me broke down when the conversation between Alfred and I stopped. It may be a petty reason, but I can't help it. Francis helped me take a step forward, but those were all futile attempts. At least he tried. And like I did, I tried on moving on and tried moving forward with him.
I know this was but another betrayal. I want to find another source of happiness. It hurt to make a fake smile when I saw Alfred on the hill once again. I was writing another poem when I heard him call for my name. It hurt when I thought this was a form of vengeance.
But it was God's, not ours. And was it good enough to make him feel what I've been suffering throughout the years?
Alfred nodded and left. I lost the stone once more. I despised myself more for letting my chance slip through my fingers.
~||O||~
It's such a shame to left Francis see me crying, even if he had witnessed it for the umpteen times already. I've been lying to myself, to him, to everyone and I can no longer prolong it. I could never deserve such lavish love if I can't return it. He's an understanding man. I can never have him! With a sigh, I finally said what was pulling me down recently.
Francis, Francis, heed my cry
You'll find someone as time goes by.
Thank you for the memories you gave to me
Please do understand I have to break free
For a moment, I thought he'll be mad at me for breaking up without thinking twice. Another selfish act of mine, but Francis smiled. "Mon cher, I know you've been searching for true happiness, and I'm truly sorry if I wasn't the one who brought you that. And I know you can have it when you're with him. But don't forget that if you're having problems with l'amour, I'll be happy to be at your service. And if ever Alfred hurts you, let me know and I'll make minced meat out of him."
Well, for some reasons he made me smile. He knew very well that I'm only using him to cover up this melancholy, and I hope it'll break this time.
~||O||~
I went up on the hill the following day to clear my mind up. Last night was like a living hell to me after all the heartbreaks that occurred. I was also sorting some things, weighing the pros and cons, and decided to come up here. This place may not be good enough for such, but this was the place where most memories can be found.
There sat Alfred, hugging his knees while rocking back and forth. I timidly went to his side but kept my eyes fixated on the grass. We sat there in silence, both collecting our thoughts as the warm air of June softly caressed our skin before he started.
"I gave up my life in New York, hoping I could have a proper reconciliation."
There was another brief moment of eerie silence before I came up with my reply. "I don't know if you're true to your words or just pity me." I sighed, taking this chance to look at him without the awkward feeling. Frail and fragile, he seemed to be weaker than the usual Alfred I came to know and love. And without waiting for his answer I said this, unknown to what had came into me.
Alfred, do hear my plea
I hope I can have you back to me.
I may have a loss of words to say
Just please understand me if you may
This time, I was waiting for his answer. Yearning for it, indeed. Alfred gazed downwards. So, I guess this was another rejection. But I was stood corrected for I was crushed into a tight embrace.
Arthur, I want you, too
I've been longing for this love like you.
Why have I put so much in decline
and let go of a love so fine?
That, alone, made me cry. After the drama, we agreed to stay as friends…at first. We can't just go for a relationship after the breakups. I was happy to know that Steph would be supportive, and too was Francis. And as time flew by, we finally took our relationship a step forward.
Unending rhymes will always be our strength, may it be good or bad, and I will make more good rhymes with him.
Genres: Romance, Drama, Angst
Ratings/Warnings: K, another failed attempt of angst. Slight FrUk
Summary: Arthur finally realized the mistake he had done. Letting the only chance go.
Notes: To amdeloag, I hope I fulfilled my promise! Anys, the sequel to ' Arthur, Please Don't Cry'
I immediately checked out at the grocery store upon receiving a phone call from mum, informing me that Alfred was over. Damn that stupid prat for not telling me earlier! But as I arrived home, I felt like dropping the bags after seeing Alfred holding my notebook.
What shall I do now that he's seen it? This selfish feeling of mine was destroying the friendship we made, and would hopefully continue to grow. The whole calm expression was only a pure façade of mine and grabbed the notebook. He looked surprised for a while, but I could already sense the rejection. I understood, but how can I handle it?
What pained me more was that he didn't tell me that he and Stephanie would move to New York in order to pursue their careers. I'm supposed to be his best friend and I have the right to know anything and everything firstly, but it seems that I was the last for this time. I only discovered it through Maria. I should be the one accompanying him, not that stupid whore of a girlfriend! But what can I do? I got accepted in a somewhere near university…and Alfred preferred her over me.
How foolish was I to cry over something I could never attain! How stupid was I to hope on something unreachable? And by the moment he grabbed my hands, my heart beat rapidly as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. What was I hopeful for if I already knew where this would all end?
And as I let go of his hands, he did nothing to stop from going away.
~||O||~
Four years went by in painfully slow pace and I did my best to appear unhurt, another mask I had to put as I faced another chapter of life. Alfred and I never lost communication with each other, though it never was longer than you'd expect. We only said short hellos and goodbyes to each other, updating on our current status -whether we passed on something or not. But we never talked about the past. We never connected anything from the past.
That is when I met Francis. I first had this low opinion on him, never focused in studies and would rather hang out with friends; either that or hitting the souls of poor girls. I considered him a big threat, not only to my studies, because he liked annoying me, together with his friends, Gilbert and Antonio. I was one of the easiest target of bullying at that time -even when I was already in college-, probably because of my brows. But I never thought of it as a laughable matter. I've seen others that had thicker eyebrows than mine.
But things and perspective changed by the time he saw me broke down when the conversation between Alfred and I stopped. It may be a petty reason, but I can't help it. Francis helped me take a step forward, but those were all futile attempts. At least he tried. And like I did, I tried on moving on and tried moving forward with him.
I know this was but another betrayal. I want to find another source of happiness. It hurt to make a fake smile when I saw Alfred on the hill once again. I was writing another poem when I heard him call for my name. It hurt when I thought this was a form of vengeance.
But it was God's, not ours. And was it good enough to make him feel what I've been suffering throughout the years?
Alfred nodded and left. I lost the stone once more. I despised myself more for letting my chance slip through my fingers.
~||O||~
It's such a shame to left Francis see me crying, even if he had witnessed it for the umpteen times already. I've been lying to myself, to him, to everyone and I can no longer prolong it. I could never deserve such lavish love if I can't return it. He's an understanding man. I can never have him! With a sigh, I finally said what was pulling me down recently.
Francis, Francis, heed my cry
You'll find someone as time goes by.
Thank you for the memories you gave to me
Please do understand I have to break free
For a moment, I thought he'll be mad at me for breaking up without thinking twice. Another selfish act of mine, but Francis smiled. "Mon cher, I know you've been searching for true happiness, and I'm truly sorry if I wasn't the one who brought you that. And I know you can have it when you're with him. But don't forget that if you're having problems with l'amour, I'll be happy to be at your service. And if ever Alfred hurts you, let me know and I'll make minced meat out of him."
Well, for some reasons he made me smile. He knew very well that I'm only using him to cover up this melancholy, and I hope it'll break this time.
~||O||~
I went up on the hill the following day to clear my mind up. Last night was like a living hell to me after all the heartbreaks that occurred. I was also sorting some things, weighing the pros and cons, and decided to come up here. This place may not be good enough for such, but this was the place where most memories can be found.
There sat Alfred, hugging his knees while rocking back and forth. I timidly went to his side but kept my eyes fixated on the grass. We sat there in silence, both collecting our thoughts as the warm air of June softly caressed our skin before he started.
"I gave up my life in New York, hoping I could have a proper reconciliation."
There was another brief moment of eerie silence before I came up with my reply. "I don't know if you're true to your words or just pity me." I sighed, taking this chance to look at him without the awkward feeling. Frail and fragile, he seemed to be weaker than the usual Alfred I came to know and love. And without waiting for his answer I said this, unknown to what had came into me.
Alfred, do hear my plea
I hope I can have you back to me.
I may have a loss of words to say
Just please understand me if you may
This time, I was waiting for his answer. Yearning for it, indeed. Alfred gazed downwards. So, I guess this was another rejection. But I was stood corrected for I was crushed into a tight embrace.
Arthur, I want you, too
I've been longing for this love like you.
Why have I put so much in decline
and let go of a love so fine?
That, alone, made me cry. After the drama, we agreed to stay as friends…at first. We can't just go for a relationship after the breakups. I was happy to know that Steph would be supportive, and too was Francis. And as time flew by, we finally took our relationship a step forward.
Unending rhymes will always be our strength, may it be good or bad, and I will make more good rhymes with him.