fic: Second Thoughts (SVU)
Title: Second Thoughts
Fandom: L&O: SVU
Pairing: Liz/Casey
Rating: G
Spoilers: None
Authors note: There is some meta going around about BDSM in fic at the moment, and this poured forth from it. There is no kink in this fic (or sex. Hello, G rating!)
---
Palms flat against the table as an attempt to hide the trembling in her fingers, Casey read over the contract. She'd co-written it and re-read it so many times that she should be able to recite it from memory. Not this time though. This time it wasn't a rough draft. She wasn't laying in bed, sheets tangled around her legs as she went over it with a purple pen, suggesting changes. The paper felt heavier, the ink seemed darker somehow, and even the simplest of words looked foreign to her. She swallowed hard and tried to start over from the beginning, but the sight of the very ordinary looking wooden box on the table next to it distracted all over again.
Such a plain box. Beautifully crafted, of course, but a box that could easily be looked over without a second glance. Which was probably the point, she supposed. Her mind continued down that path, further and further away from the paper in front of her and she made no attempt to reign it in. It wasn't until she felt a hand rest lightly on the small of her back that she was brought back to the present...to the paper.
She started from the top once again. After yet another failed attempt to read it she let out a quiet - but no less frustrated - sigh. She lifted a hand, the trembling not abating, and picked up the pen. Hand poised, she took another slow breath and focused on the feeling of the hand on her back. She swallowed slowly and turned around. "I'm not ready," she finally whispered, unable to meet Liz's eyes for fear of what she would see there. Disappointment? Anger? Hurt? A finger hooked underneath her chin and tilted her face up until it was inevitable, and when she finally settled her eyes on her lovers she found herself shocked. There wasn't a trace of hurt, nor anger, and not a hint of disappointment. Instead she found a rare softness to them, a gentle smile that didn't quite seem to fit with the situation.
"I know," came the reply, just as soft as the look in her eyes. "And it's okay."
---
To say Liz was surprised when Casey asked to formalize their relationship would be an understatement. She had shown a basic interested in the lifestyle, and they had settled comfortably in their own version on a D/s relationship - milder than she was used to, but just as fulfilling as any other. So when Casey asked for a collar and contract, Liz was almost bowled over.
They spent weeks talking about it and several more drafting the contract together. Liz had a day collar made; a beautiful piece - in silver to match Casey's other jewelery - with their initials entwined on the clasp, and they were finally prepared.
She knew though. The moment she placed the contract on the table she knew Casey wasn't ready to sign it. She saw the tension in the way she held herself, the shortening of her breath, and the way her knuckles were white - indicating her hands were pressed firmly against the table rather than just resting there.
Ten minutes passed as the redhead tried going over and over the contract until Liz couldn't watch her torture herself anymore. She placed a hand lightly on the small of her back and stepped just a few inches closer to her, about to speak when Casey reached for the pen. She watched quietly, holding her breath and when Casey turned around instead of disappointment she merely felt pride. "I'm not ready," came the whisper she had been expecting. She could feel the nervous tension rolling from her and she reached out, fingers brushing her cheek lightly before hooking under her chin to guide her face up.
"I know," she replied quietly. They could talk more in depth later, but right now she wanted to put Casey at ease, to reassure her that she wasn't upset and nothing needed to change. "And it's okay."
Fandom: L&O: SVU
Pairing: Liz/Casey
Rating: G
Spoilers: None
Authors note: There is some meta going around about BDSM in fic at the moment, and this poured forth from it. There is no kink in this fic (or sex. Hello, G rating!)
---
Palms flat against the table as an attempt to hide the trembling in her fingers, Casey read over the contract. She'd co-written it and re-read it so many times that she should be able to recite it from memory. Not this time though. This time it wasn't a rough draft. She wasn't laying in bed, sheets tangled around her legs as she went over it with a purple pen, suggesting changes. The paper felt heavier, the ink seemed darker somehow, and even the simplest of words looked foreign to her. She swallowed hard and tried to start over from the beginning, but the sight of the very ordinary looking wooden box on the table next to it distracted all over again.
Such a plain box. Beautifully crafted, of course, but a box that could easily be looked over without a second glance. Which was probably the point, she supposed. Her mind continued down that path, further and further away from the paper in front of her and she made no attempt to reign it in. It wasn't until she felt a hand rest lightly on the small of her back that she was brought back to the present...to the paper.
She started from the top once again. After yet another failed attempt to read it she let out a quiet - but no less frustrated - sigh. She lifted a hand, the trembling not abating, and picked up the pen. Hand poised, she took another slow breath and focused on the feeling of the hand on her back. She swallowed slowly and turned around. "I'm not ready," she finally whispered, unable to meet Liz's eyes for fear of what she would see there. Disappointment? Anger? Hurt? A finger hooked underneath her chin and tilted her face up until it was inevitable, and when she finally settled her eyes on her lovers she found herself shocked. There wasn't a trace of hurt, nor anger, and not a hint of disappointment. Instead she found a rare softness to them, a gentle smile that didn't quite seem to fit with the situation.
"I know," came the reply, just as soft as the look in her eyes. "And it's okay."
---
To say Liz was surprised when Casey asked to formalize their relationship would be an understatement. She had shown a basic interested in the lifestyle, and they had settled comfortably in their own version on a D/s relationship - milder than she was used to, but just as fulfilling as any other. So when Casey asked for a collar and contract, Liz was almost bowled over.
They spent weeks talking about it and several more drafting the contract together. Liz had a day collar made; a beautiful piece - in silver to match Casey's other jewelery - with their initials entwined on the clasp, and they were finally prepared.
She knew though. The moment she placed the contract on the table she knew Casey wasn't ready to sign it. She saw the tension in the way she held herself, the shortening of her breath, and the way her knuckles were white - indicating her hands were pressed firmly against the table rather than just resting there.
Ten minutes passed as the redhead tried going over and over the contract until Liz couldn't watch her torture herself anymore. She placed a hand lightly on the small of her back and stepped just a few inches closer to her, about to speak when Casey reached for the pen. She watched quietly, holding her breath and when Casey turned around instead of disappointment she merely felt pride. "I'm not ready," came the whisper she had been expecting. She could feel the nervous tension rolling from her and she reached out, fingers brushing her cheek lightly before hooking under her chin to guide her face up.
"I know," she replied quietly. They could talk more in depth later, but right now she wanted to put Casey at ease, to reassure her that she wasn't upset and nothing needed to change. "And it's okay."