My "grandfather" died a couple weeks ago, and I don't know how to feel about that. I'm failing acting and Joe hates me anyway. I'm seriously stressed out and frustrated, but the new med I'm on is making me really hyper. That's a good thing, I promise. I just can't sleep ( Read more... )

Chalk up yet another failure in the Quest for Some Semblance of a Love Life. Tonight everything came crashing down in a giant flaming wreckage of a half-assed rejection. That's right, rejection. He was standing outside though, so at least I didn't have to pay the cover to GET rejected. There's the silver lining. That's all you're getting. We ( Read more... )

First I would just like to say that "I'm an asshole," is NOT a good excuse for not calling! Now, I'm glad he said this so I didn't have to, but it's not an excuse! So I'm thinking about waiting a few more days and calling him again. And I'll say something to this extent: "Okay, dude, this is the last time I'm going to call you, because you are ( Read more... )

So Laney says not to give up yet. Okay, I won't. But I'm still really disappointed and heartbroken and angst angst angst. I mean, I want to be important enough to call. It's like in Bat Boy: "If he's worthy of you, he'll know he needs to call you back." Except it's me that has to be worthy. Or something. I don't know. I just feel so ( Read more... )

So I went to his gig last night, and he asked me if I wanted to "get something to eat" tonight. He was doing something for the Firehouse this afternoon, so I told him to call me when he got home. It's now 9pm and who has dinner that late? He's not going to call. Again. Why is it everytime I think it's going to be so different, it goes back to ( Read more... )

Not born yet. Still in labor. However, I called Jon two days after he gave me his number, and left a message. Days went by. I gave up hope. Then, on Thursday, he CALLED ME BACK. I mean...people don't DO that! Unfortunately, I was elsewhere, but he left me this really long, silly message, and it was very much like the dorky messages I leave, ( Read more... )

Okay, so Bat Boy has been eating my soul, but it's over now and I'm updating. My computer also nearly died, so yeah. One of the actors in Bat Boy is in a band, and they rock. www.project-g-nome.com His name is Jon and I dig him a lot. We knew each other for an entire month before we ever really talked, I mean seriously, and when we did the ( Read more... )

Let's pretend for a while that I don't exist. Let's talk about all the things that are really important, which don't include me, because I don't exist. Let's not mention even a fleeting whim of actually missing me, because...you guessed it, I don't exist. So I haven't heard from anyone lately, and I've been too down to turn on AIM for the past ( Read more... )

First I want to say that Diane is a goddess of reason. I'm so glad she read the below entry and inserted her vast wisdom. Thanks to her, I've achieved the numbness I needed. She gave me some good advice, which I will heed, no matter what. As for who that poem was directed to, whose name I will not disclose because although I use this to vent, ( Read more... )

I've been struck a blow tonight. Everything I thought was true has been a lie, and the worst has proven far more all-encompassing than I expected. So, to the one who got so close and cut so deep, this bad poem is for you. You know who you are ( Read more... )