Rap Battle!
Nanashi,
I want this to be preserved in history!
That time the Boy and I had a very public rap battle feud on Facebook and to forever savour how much I dominated! <3
Lala:
What up ho? Why you keepin’ me waitin’
For Funky Fresh rhymes you just ain’t creatin’?
No skill, no thrill, you just aggravatin’
Bitch tone yo’ ego down cause it’s be inflatin’
Now let me break it down to you nice and slow
I am the Boss Bitch, you’re just a gringo
I bring a sick beat you’re just a no-show
You’re laggin behind like a trail of guano!
In case you’re ponderin,
Wonderin’
Rollin’ around
and sufferin’
Guano means shit!
Give up and admit
You’re lacking in wit
And just a counterfeit!
Andy:
Certain people who I will not mention,
Saying I can’t rap, that I got bark but no intention,
That I will back down, white flag, cry “see ya”
Well sorry to say, as tensions rise, I begin my ascension,
You gonna cry “mercy” but this ain’t no Geneva
Convention time, rap battle for the starter
I got greats in my corner you might as well have Aaron Carter
I’m the teacher, I’m smarter, you gonna get schooled
The only way you’ll get backed is through kick starter.
So best be prepared, I’m comin’ like Scar
Hide your pride, better’s incomin’ by far
Callin me out cause damage cant be managed
You cant touch this, baby I’m a STAR
Bells ringing ding ding, I’m a winner
Egg timer sounds, you’re done like dinner
You cannot surpass my lyrical prose
You the saint I’m tha killer.
Lala:
Aww look at this little gun slingin’ dude
No blaze of glory here, Bitch you just screwed!
Put away your toy guns, you can’t handle this feud
You’re not badass, just a shrivelled old shrew!
You claim you’re a wordsmith, a magician too
But Mediocre rhymes?! That's how you make do?!
Abra? Kadabra?, Homebrew? Kazoo?
No thanks, Merci, I bid you adieu.
Give up now ho’ you just can’t compete
Get on your knees, Bitch, just admit defeat
Go Hide, go cry, lament and retreat!
Revenge has never been such a treat
Word of the wise, If asked to throw down,
I don’t fuck aroun’
Bitch, Where’s my crown?
I won, hands down!
And The Finale:
I won’t even deign to allow a retort, a response
You’re handing me your ass like a desperate Fonz
You’re spitting rhymes with carefree nonchalance
While I’m in my glory muthafuckin’ RENAISSANCE
Your retorts are in cohorts with a bunch of white folks
You’re adorable though disgraceful and just a plain hoax
Your rhymes taste like toast before a heat stroke
I love how our battles have turned into a joke.
Now there’s a lesson here, don’t be blue
Even though I fared much better than you
And Though my sweet rhymes were difficult to chew
I still love you forever, Bitch, you still mah boo
It was a lot of fun and hella distracting which was awesome :D
This is Barry's declaration of the Winner!
I wish this had gone on just a bit longer,
I wish Andy's rap game was just a bit stronger.
I guess, in the end, that's just how the flags fall,
Looks like he didn't have bark or bite after all.
So what do you say when one epically fails?
When they talk a big game, but make no sales?
When he steps up to the plate, but tragically tanks?
Talks about shooting stars, when he's just shooting blanks?
It's easy to see why he chose to step down,
With Laura's rhyming, and timing, and thirst for that crown.
Laura had this in the bag since she called him a gringo,
She might as well have called out: mother fuckin' "Bingo"!
She grabbed B 52 and I 53,
The free space in the middle and 66 G.
Finally she got her hands on O 56:
Meanwhile Andy's playing MOTHER FUCKING PICK-UP-STICKS?!
Admittedly, secretly, I hoped he would bring it,
In the end, don't defend, he just couldn't sing it.
I'm not proud, but deep down, I hoped he would shock'er,
But Laura's flow's so sick it needs to see a doctor.
Beguiling, and styling, with excellent timing,
Flying through rhyming. Ear to ear smiling.
Not even sighing, while her foes are dying.
While Andy's in the corner with his weak raps.
Crying.
Her rhymes make you want to Lala,
In the kitchen, on the floor.
His rhymes got you in the bathroom,
With your stomach feeling sore.
Laura's raps raised the bar pretty high, it's true.
She was serving Champagne. Andy gave us Pabst Blue.
Hate to drag Andy down. I really love you pal.
But while you're drinking cheap beer, Laura's serving Cristal!
"Cristal"? "Kriystalle"? Have I said too much?
"If we shadows offend", please don't make a fuss.
Don't mean to be rude, I'm just an honest Puck.
And unfortunately, Andy's raps just suck.
I hate to drag on.
I hate to bore ya.
Let me cut to the Chase,
The winner, is Laura.
Overall, a great, and fantastic day!!
Peace, love and chocolate chip cookie dough!
ME