I Thought I was Getting Better...
Some crazy fuck made me cry during work today, but the whole thing was over some stupid ass reason. I work at a local Taco Bell/KFC (yes, it is under one roof), and tI had to serve a family who is religious about eating meat. So, when they asked for tacos, etc, I made sure to tally in the computer that there was suppose to be no meat, just as I was about to total the amount, they asked for two other things. It was my fault, because I forgot to say that it was not suppose to be with meat. My manager was looking at me the entire time, and when I was done, he called me out for a bit. He told me what my mistake was, and that if he didn't caught on to it, it would not only be me who's in trouble, but everyone else who was working. He had that tired, and annoyed voice with a matching face. I was always the employee who would make mistakes. So, I pulled a Naruto pose, and apologized.
I turned around and just as I got back to the cashier, I heard them talk amongst themselves. It was a bad habit, because they always think that I couldn't hear them. "She doesn't know anything." "She's such an idiot." "If she's always going to be like this..." I could feel my eyes burn. I'm used to this. So what if I made my first big mistake in two months? I've done worse. But I couldn't take it, so I pretended that I needed to clean the diner area, and went to the ladies washroom instead. It was a slow hour at the time, so I was lucky to have a brief moment for myself. I was so angry, I couldn't believe that I was crying over such an idiotic mistake. But as I screamed that in my head, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Big red puffy eyes looked straight at me. Frustrated beyond anything, I punched the wall next to me. I realize what I was doing, and for that moment thought I heard the manager laugh and said "Oh, did you hear that? She's punching things in the washroom." and everyone laughed. But I wasn't sure, so I pushed it to the back of my head and tried everything I could to get my eyes back to normal. It was a long and painful process, my mind wouldn't let it go, and tears kept falling every few moments. I was so mad, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't yell at them, punch them, or even leave. I had to stay, I needed the job badly and it wasn't likly for me to find another job. Also, my friends and I go there a lot, so if I get fired, I'd lose face.
I eventually got back to normal, after taking many orders and faking a smile. It was odd for me at first, because I kept sniffling, and I was smiling at the customer with puffy eyes. I bet they were surprised and probably felt really uncomfortable.
In the end, I pretended that nothing happened. My eyes turned back to normal, and the people who were talking about me seemed indifferrent. I don't know if that was a good thing or not, but it's over with. I'm still angry beyond reason, but I'll try to ride it out. I managed to crack a big grin at everyone while saying goodbye. I'll admit that I am slow, and that I'm an idiot for always making mistakes. But I can never forget the humility for crying.
I turned around and just as I got back to the cashier, I heard them talk amongst themselves. It was a bad habit, because they always think that I couldn't hear them. "She doesn't know anything." "She's such an idiot." "If she's always going to be like this..." I could feel my eyes burn. I'm used to this. So what if I made my first big mistake in two months? I've done worse. But I couldn't take it, so I pretended that I needed to clean the diner area, and went to the ladies washroom instead. It was a slow hour at the time, so I was lucky to have a brief moment for myself. I was so angry, I couldn't believe that I was crying over such an idiotic mistake. But as I screamed that in my head, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Big red puffy eyes looked straight at me. Frustrated beyond anything, I punched the wall next to me. I realize what I was doing, and for that moment thought I heard the manager laugh and said "Oh, did you hear that? She's punching things in the washroom." and everyone laughed. But I wasn't sure, so I pushed it to the back of my head and tried everything I could to get my eyes back to normal. It was a long and painful process, my mind wouldn't let it go, and tears kept falling every few moments. I was so mad, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't yell at them, punch them, or even leave. I had to stay, I needed the job badly and it wasn't likly for me to find another job. Also, my friends and I go there a lot, so if I get fired, I'd lose face.
I eventually got back to normal, after taking many orders and faking a smile. It was odd for me at first, because I kept sniffling, and I was smiling at the customer with puffy eyes. I bet they were surprised and probably felt really uncomfortable.
In the end, I pretended that nothing happened. My eyes turned back to normal, and the people who were talking about me seemed indifferrent. I don't know if that was a good thing or not, but it's over with. I'm still angry beyond reason, but I'll try to ride it out. I managed to crack a big grin at everyone while saying goodbye. I'll admit that I am slow, and that I'm an idiot for always making mistakes. But I can never forget the humility for crying.