[one-shot] - Deeper than words
Title: Deeper than words
Author: in_monochrome
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kaoru x OFC
Disclaimer: Pure fiction.
Comment: I haven't written something in English since months and this fic is actually almost about a year old now, so don't expect highclass literature or something. I've changed a bit about the 'plot', but I still don't really like it. That might be because I hate how I'm writing in English and how I can't express myself the way I want to in this language, because this isn't how I write normally (in German). Or maybe this is just a phase of writers-block again. There's only one part in this fiction that is awesome and that part is written by sanghamyers who I've asked for help once >>;
Whatever, this is actually the fic I've promised to drpaccy long time ago - I'm sorry for ruining it... ._.
Deeper than words
S P E A K
You can love me...as long as you don't say it.
L O O K
You can say it...as long as you don't mean it.
L I S T E N
You can mean it...as long as you're still not quite sure.
F E E L
You can be quite sure...as long as you still don't trust me completely.
T O U C H
You can trust me completely...but, just please...
P L E A S E
...Don't love me so.
My voice is hoarse as I moan out his name through my slightly opened lips.
Feeling him pressing me firmly against the door makes me all dizzy in my mind. He makes me dizzy. The way he looks at me, the way he's searching almost in despair for the keys of his home in his pockets. I can't stifle my grin as I hear him rummaging through the stuff inside his jacket, feel his breath on my neck and know that even though he wants to open the door behind me so badly, he can't separate himself from me for only a second. Soaks up every precious moment, in fear maybe that this nearly magical bound between us could be torn into pieces.
Desire.
The word builds up inside my head. It builds up and grows, until it completely overflows my mind.
To know that he wants me makes weak. It makes me weak in my knees, makes me weak in my heart, make me weak in my soul, makes me weak for him. I love the weakness he's causing me. But it only makes the yearning for him more unbearable.
Not quick enough is the searching.
Now this seems like a dream. It seems so surreal to me that I can't distinguish between dream and reality anymore. I've lost all my feelings for reality two hours ago when I could finally embraced him again on the airport as he came back from another oversea tour. All my clinging couldn't even nearly express how much I've missed him during these weeks he's been doing his work. The moment I saw him appearing between all these people running into the hall was actually the moment where the lines started blurring. In this crowd I could only see him, couldn't take my eyes of him anymore. Now all rational thinking seems just like gone. I can't even remember how we've got here. Like I've passed out during the car ride.
Unable to tell what happens with me I find myself here and hear his triumphant voice, realize that he finally found the key. While I'm stepping back to let him get to the door I'm eyeballing him again. His dark, brown hair falls like a curtain over his small shoulders, covering the half of his face most times, also covering his deep, dark diamond-like eyes. Those eyes he watched me with. Just by watching me he made me lose my mind. Tonight he'll probably make me go mad.
I feel his hand grabbing mine, pulling me with him into the house, until we're both inside and the door is closed and locked again.
He doesn't even bother to turn on the light, but turns back devoted to me.
Only his shade is visible in this fade and dusky glimmer coming from a crescent moon outside, shining though the small window on the other side of the room. I can still see the outlines of his face, slowly reaching my fingers for it, stroking the creamy skin of his cheeks, those high cheekbones and temples, stroking over his chin. To feel the scratchy hair of his goatee under my fingertips somehow makes me smile lightly, biting my lip just briefly, since the prickling that is left behind on the tips feels so nice. Oh, how I've missed that.
I don't see the smile that curls up on his lips, he's standing with his back to the window, because the bit of light coming in here is falling into my face and blinding my eyes. But I feel it, while my hands are still touching his skin.
When he whispers my name, I wish I could look into his eyes, not being mislead by the light.
A soft push. I'm tumbling a step back. He's shoving me backwards, holding his hands around my waist, pressing my body against the wall.
Touching my cheek with his hand affectionately, he brings his lips close to mine again. Following kisses so sweet as candy and I'm putty in his hands. Never expected him to be this endearing after such a long dry spell... that his aspirated kisses could be this tenderly.
My hands long to reach into his hair again, it feels so good and silky sliding through my fingers. Fondling his neck to find out, if this tiger inside of him is also able to purr, I'm smirking into the kiss.
I remind myself to be careful. No matter how long we've been seeing, dating each other by now, I should not start toying with him. In fact it's more him toying with me anyway, isn't it? Forbidding myself to think such things like these, that could drag me back into cruel reality, I press my mouth against his desirously, drowning my doubts in it, to let him deepen our kiss as I let him inside my mouth. Familiar feels it. It feels so familiar. I lean back against the wall, but push my hips closer against his, pleased to follow everything he'll do with me. His tongue is searching for mine, caressing it gently as we both melt into this kiss even more now. I am melting away.
The urge to breathe is what forces us to end the kiss and I part from his tempting lips with a slight sigh.
Why does he make me feel so weak?
Every time he touches me I'm shivering from the love that he's raising inside of me. Still it feels like my first time every time when we're together.
He's speaking, whispering again, whispering into my ear... His voice... dark, promising... just like a sweet lullaby. Oh, if only I could understand a single word he says... but I'm too far away, in another dimension when his fingertips trace my every outline.
I stay mute, just listening to his reassuring voice and gently shoving the hands up his warm back, slinging my arms around him to pull him even closer.
Please give me this feeling inside my chest, always. Though my heart pounds hard and fast against my ribcage... It wants to escape out my body, maybe wants to meet his... just like our lips which are meeting again.
Now sliding the hands over his chest and then down over his belly, I'm searching for a way to touch more of his addicting skin, finally find the hem, and let my fingers glide underneath the dark cloth.
Low, quiet moans that escape his mouth encourage me to go on. Brushing my fingertips lightly over the tiny hair on his skin, I soak up every small noise he makes while my hands want to discover more of his body now. Almost dragging on his shirt, I make him help me to take it off. Unnoticed it falls down to the cold floor.
So much tender skin to be revealed... I'm leaving breathed kisses on his chest and collarbone, follow his neck above his Adam's apple. His skin tastes so good, my lips are searching for more, more to fondle. To receive his mellow sighing in response to the caressing makes me smile lightly.
Painfully slow he's sliding his warm hands under the cloth that covers my stomach, slipping off my shirt, before his hot breath touches my skin. I feel him stroking away my hair and bringing his soft lips on my neck. I cock my head to be able to enjoy his nibbling and sucking that completely causes me shivers all over, and close my eyes. I'm giving myself up for him.
Demanding kisses cover my mouth again. My hands stroke over his shoulders and I kiss him back just with the same desire.
Sudden impatience is overcoming me. As much as I enjoy our affectionate playing with each other, I want to be closer to him. As close as possible.
With this urge my fingers start twiddling on his belt, unzipping his jeans. His tongue licks over the faster pounding pulse on my neck. He shoves my fingers away. Quicker than I can realize it he grabs my wrists with both of his hands and presses them left and right next my shoulders against the wall. That stare pierces me. My heart just stops beating for a second. So close is his face to mine - I can feel... almost taste his breath.
That he continues gazing at me gives me enough time to study his beautiful face again, to look at his sweet nose, watch his delicious inviting lips parting as he breathes out, and get stuck at his black eyes as l just wanted to glance over them.
I join his wordless staring, licking over my way too fast drying lips now... Now that he grinds his hips to mine.
Am I making him just as insane as he makes me?
This silence begins to crush me. I feel a bit helpless in this position, though his grip on my wrists isn't that tight and his lower body is slowly almost subconsciously rubbing against mine now, causing me pleasing shivers through my whole body.
A deep and low moan escapes my mouth. I can't stand that staring anymore and close my eyes, try not to concentrate too much on his crotch rubbing against mine. But I know that this is just as in vain as forbidding myself to breathe. Through the cloth of our jeans I feel his hardness, too present to ignore. If he'd just let go my hands... The heat growing from my lower body up to the rest makes my mind hazy and leaves only the burning thought of touching him, feeling him, kissing him, making him melt in my hands...
That second he releases me from the craving suffering, crashes his lips against mine and kisses me with all that held back desire in the past seconds, pushes hard through my lips with his tongue, starts exploring me with untamed greed, waking up a never known lust.
Never knew that I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before. I just want to vanish inside his kiss that swallows me up.
Hungrily he intensifies the kiss, battles with my tongue, before he surrenders to me and lets me into his hot mouth. I can't believe he really lets me take over, but continue kissing him, deepen the kiss. Inviting his tongue to leave his mouth, I begin losing myself in this. I've been always a fan of French kisses outside both mouths. So devotedly I'm stroking his tongue with mine, caress it with swift sucking, sighing slightly as he replies the sweet playing, until we're both running out of breath again.
Finally he lets go my wrists and my eyes open to watch him.
With no sign of hesitation now, he takes off my t-shirt, unclasps my bra and throws both to the floor. I can only respond with a further sigh while he's showering my upper body with heated, little and promising kisses, cupping his hands around my breasts, massaging them while he brings his mouth down my one nipple. I'm already all tingly when his tongue faintly brushes the sensitive skin like accidentally. He's teasing me with gentle nibbling, leaves his irregular breath on my getting more and more aroused body, takes a piece of my mind and soul with him.
His hands wander down my stomach, give me goose bumps. He traces the button and zipper of my trousers. Laying my hand over his, I lead his fingers inside my pants, between my thighs. Fingers touching me softly. I lay my head back and close my eyes. Knowing that this is the most weak part of my body, he rubs it with the most intense care he can afford, slowly circle his fingertips around it. I whimper slightly, move my hips up and down in a rhythmic motion, matching his every stroke.
My pulse pounds so fast. That heat inside my body, that heat between us - it grows unstoppably, burns me. The further we go, the more this arousal takes over my mind. We crossed that line of just making out long ago. Now we can't go back. I don't want to pause, don't want to stop anyway. He has me so incredibly wet already. Pounding desire... between my legs. It's screaming for him. Everything screams for him. My body. For more skin, more caressing, for more pleasure. Feel. I want just to feel. More of him. We haven't really begun by now and I'm already gasping.
I notice that he's playing with me again. Not only that: I allow him to play with me. I've never been his woman. I'll never be. I'm just a game he can play whenever he feels like it. Yes, I might be pathetic for loving a guy who's actually not looking for a relationship at all. But I can't control, can't deny what my heart is feeling. And even if it hurts me, I can't take my hands off him. I'm like a child playing with fire. I burn my fingers over and over, but my fascination for the flame can't be killed.
My hands move up his chest. Carefully, but determined I shove him away. I try to catch his look with my eyes, but I just can't. But I feel his confusion. It's exactly this confusion that excites me.
Some hoarse words reach my ears.
I don't care what words are coming out of his mouth. I just care that I can hear the smirk in his voice and that alone is telling me anything, speak volumes.
I whisper his name in response, as if it is my answer for everything, my sweet lie, bow over to him and kiss his lips softly.
Like it was a magical word that I said he takes my hand and steps backwards into the living-room and leads me to the couch, drags me with him.
He sits down, gets off his shoes, looks up to me and grabs my hand again to hold it. He sits, I stand - right in front of him. Both hands of his entwine around my waist and pull me closer, so that I'm standing between his legs. A little kiss aspirated on my abdomen makes me smile lightly. Slowly his fingers show more interest for my pants, open them more and removed them completely in the end. I step out my shoes. Even my panties have to disappear now and before I'm aware of it, I'm standing completely naked in front of him. Weird, somehow - in my imagination - I've never really thought it could be awkward for me. But now in reality I'm ashamed and blush, standing right here in front of him - this bare, this uncovered, this vulnerable... But soft kisses he leaves on my skin make this feeling go away, make it vanish as quick as it came. And I close my eyes once again, bury my fingers deep into his hair, while he presses me closer against him, still kissing my belly gently.
His lips part from my skin and grant me some time to look down on him. In this fade light I can see his face, can see his eyes watching me again. Carefully I caress his neck, touch his cheek, slowly sink on my knees. This time I'll bring to an end where I was stopped by his hands the first time. I fully open his jeans by completely unzipping them. Now he's even helping me taking it off, cause I'm acting kinda dumb again with my shivering fingers.
Excitement and arousal mixed into one. I don't know anymore where one thing ends and the other begins.
To get off his whole pants he's getting up again, so I can pull it down his legs, along with the boxers. Yeah, I'm not really wasting any time anymore.
By doing this I also free what has been hiding underneath all the thick cloth.
I just can't leave it be. Especially not when I'm kneeling in front of him like this and there's nothing covering him anymore besides his bare skin.
My hands stroke upwards his inner thighs, like without a destination. I leave soft kisses on his hip bone and take his erection in my hand, carefully at first, then tighten my grab. Like expected his reaction is intense, a moan leaves his lips almost immediately. Knowing what I want I push him back down onto the couch, crawl between his legs. Holding him in my hand, I bring my mouth down. Just briefly, teasingly licking the bare and hot skin. Running my tongue over the tip, before I take him in my mouth, starting pleasuring him. Just lightly I'm sucking - his moaning gets louder, escapes rough through your lips.
It's such a sweet tease, isn't it? Yes, I want to tease. I want to play with him. I know he's only letting me play, quite enjoying that I take over this way. Then again, how could he not like it?
I move my other hand up his chest, while sucking a bit harder just to hear his desperate deep groan that tells me how unbearable it gets for him to control yourself.
We still have just begun.
I honestly don't know where my sudden self-confidence is coming from and I could probably move on, just playing with my tongue like this, tasting him.
But I know I can't go too far with this. Because I want to have some more fun with him tonight.
So I'm leaving his middle, moving up again, making my way up high with small kisses.
God, I love that grin. When his lips curl all knowingly, because he knows what I want is him. Hungrily I ravish his tempting mouth, playfully pulling away from time to time, just to show him that I can be as much of a beast at toying as he is.
But his fingers entangle in my hair, grasp it tightly and force my head to tilt, so he can deepen the kiss all he wants.
My moaning reaches my ears but it's distant like a far away background sound. His growl is more evident to my mind, sending gooseflesh all over my skin.
Wherever his hands touch me, it elicits pleasant jolts of sensual electricity. He grasps my hip, steadying me and I can feel his arousal between my legs. Teasing. Subconsciously I try to feel more of it, want it to vanish inside of me so badly. But to no avail. His guidance is which I want to follow, although I wouldn't admit that. Not yet.
In a swift movement his arm tightly snakes around my waist, pulling me closer still and leaving me no choice but to surrender. My gasp evokes another smile from him, the kiss broken for just the time he needs to turn us both around. As soon as I'm on my back his lips are back on mine, feverishly kissing me with obvious desire, unmistakable as I wrap my legs around his waist, urging.
Desperately my hands cling to his shoulders, nails digging, scratching. Doesn't he want to invade me like his plain presents invaded my whole being long ago? Hips press upward against me. Needy sounds spill from slightly swollen lips. I beg him without words.
His lips have travelled to my neck and he murmurs softly against the sensitive skin. My chest is heaving against his naked torso. My eyelids fall shut on their own accord. Drawn to the sensations he provokes I shudder.
The closeness gone just for a moment, I realize why and open my eyes to lock my gaze with his. He kisses my lips with silky gentleness, once, twice, and then slide into me with such ease that for a moment I think that it's only him who belongs there. Inside of me.
He begins moving with a painfully slow rhythm and I still want to be only closer. With my head pressed into the pillows and my lower body pressed more against his, I'm arching my back, keep my legs locked around his waist, not willing to let him go.
The sweet tingle of his breath against my ear, his erotically gasping... I'm drowning in his lust-soaked voice. Closer. Oh please, closer. Not holding himself back anymore he quickens the pace. Thrusts, moving harder inside of me. I roll my eyes back, have to withstand this wave already overcoming me and wanting to swamp me.
I'm panting his name. Repeat, gasp it out. He's overflowing me. Nearness. Biting my lip so that I won't moan louder than I already do. Every thrust causes me more of this dizziness. Wriggling underneath him I'm begging for more, shove my hands up and down his shoulders, dig my fingers into his hair.
He fulfills every wish with an unknown matter of course. Blood rushes through my head like in a white-water ride. Our bodies burn with a fire that erases every 'he' and 'I'. We melt into each other. One. Hearts beating in the same tact, souls entwine. He holds me tightly as we rock our hips back and forth while voices mix into another, lance into the silent room. The feeling of being one fills my desire as I wither deeper inside.
I can't hold it back any longer, my voice sings of lust. The way he penetrates me, possessive and hungry, swallows me like a ravenous tiger, sends me over the edge. I come with such force that it leaves me completely trembling and shuddering for what feel like eternity. A rush hits me as he brushes against my most sensitive area, making me see stars behind my eyelids. I know he's watching me. Watching the way my body writhes beneath him, the way I arch against his passionate moves, touches. And I know the gorgeous face he's making as he pounds into my body while I surrender to my orgasm, my lips spill out a scream, and can feel him melting inside of me too.
Out of breath he lays upon me. Clinging to him I press my body against his, feel my lungs aching just as much as his skin burns mine with this heat. Our hearts pound hard against each others rip-cages. He kisses my lips softly, stays inside of me. Gentle touches and an affectionately smile. He caresses my red cheeks, kisses me again and again, just like lovers do.
Yes, I'm satisfied with even the weak love that exists only in a smile...
Yes, we don't need to share the same feelings for each other. For now, I just need his warmth. And that alone means everything to me.
The three words forever unspoken...
~~~END~~~
Comments are always love.
Feel free to add this LJ <3
Author: in_monochrome
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kaoru x OFC
Disclaimer: Pure fiction.
Comment: I haven't written something in English since months and this fic is actually almost about a year old now, so don't expect highclass literature or something. I've changed a bit about the 'plot', but I still don't really like it. That might be because I hate how I'm writing in English and how I can't express myself the way I want to in this language, because this isn't how I write normally (in German). Or maybe this is just a phase of writers-block again. There's only one part in this fiction that is awesome and that part is written by sanghamyers who I've asked for help once >>;
Whatever, this is actually the fic I've promised to drpaccy long time ago - I'm sorry for ruining it... ._.
Deeper than words
S P E A K
You can love me...as long as you don't say it.
L O O K
You can say it...as long as you don't mean it.
L I S T E N
You can mean it...as long as you're still not quite sure.
F E E L
You can be quite sure...as long as you still don't trust me completely.
T O U C H
You can trust me completely...but, just please...
P L E A S E
...Don't love me so.
My voice is hoarse as I moan out his name through my slightly opened lips.
Feeling him pressing me firmly against the door makes me all dizzy in my mind. He makes me dizzy. The way he looks at me, the way he's searching almost in despair for the keys of his home in his pockets. I can't stifle my grin as I hear him rummaging through the stuff inside his jacket, feel his breath on my neck and know that even though he wants to open the door behind me so badly, he can't separate himself from me for only a second. Soaks up every precious moment, in fear maybe that this nearly magical bound between us could be torn into pieces.
Desire.
The word builds up inside my head. It builds up and grows, until it completely overflows my mind.
To know that he wants me makes weak. It makes me weak in my knees, makes me weak in my heart, make me weak in my soul, makes me weak for him. I love the weakness he's causing me. But it only makes the yearning for him more unbearable.
Not quick enough is the searching.
Now this seems like a dream. It seems so surreal to me that I can't distinguish between dream and reality anymore. I've lost all my feelings for reality two hours ago when I could finally embraced him again on the airport as he came back from another oversea tour. All my clinging couldn't even nearly express how much I've missed him during these weeks he's been doing his work. The moment I saw him appearing between all these people running into the hall was actually the moment where the lines started blurring. In this crowd I could only see him, couldn't take my eyes of him anymore. Now all rational thinking seems just like gone. I can't even remember how we've got here. Like I've passed out during the car ride.
Unable to tell what happens with me I find myself here and hear his triumphant voice, realize that he finally found the key. While I'm stepping back to let him get to the door I'm eyeballing him again. His dark, brown hair falls like a curtain over his small shoulders, covering the half of his face most times, also covering his deep, dark diamond-like eyes. Those eyes he watched me with. Just by watching me he made me lose my mind. Tonight he'll probably make me go mad.
I feel his hand grabbing mine, pulling me with him into the house, until we're both inside and the door is closed and locked again.
He doesn't even bother to turn on the light, but turns back devoted to me.
Only his shade is visible in this fade and dusky glimmer coming from a crescent moon outside, shining though the small window on the other side of the room. I can still see the outlines of his face, slowly reaching my fingers for it, stroking the creamy skin of his cheeks, those high cheekbones and temples, stroking over his chin. To feel the scratchy hair of his goatee under my fingertips somehow makes me smile lightly, biting my lip just briefly, since the prickling that is left behind on the tips feels so nice. Oh, how I've missed that.
I don't see the smile that curls up on his lips, he's standing with his back to the window, because the bit of light coming in here is falling into my face and blinding my eyes. But I feel it, while my hands are still touching his skin.
When he whispers my name, I wish I could look into his eyes, not being mislead by the light.
A soft push. I'm tumbling a step back. He's shoving me backwards, holding his hands around my waist, pressing my body against the wall.
Touching my cheek with his hand affectionately, he brings his lips close to mine again. Following kisses so sweet as candy and I'm putty in his hands. Never expected him to be this endearing after such a long dry spell... that his aspirated kisses could be this tenderly.
My hands long to reach into his hair again, it feels so good and silky sliding through my fingers. Fondling his neck to find out, if this tiger inside of him is also able to purr, I'm smirking into the kiss.
I remind myself to be careful. No matter how long we've been seeing, dating each other by now, I should not start toying with him. In fact it's more him toying with me anyway, isn't it? Forbidding myself to think such things like these, that could drag me back into cruel reality, I press my mouth against his desirously, drowning my doubts in it, to let him deepen our kiss as I let him inside my mouth. Familiar feels it. It feels so familiar. I lean back against the wall, but push my hips closer against his, pleased to follow everything he'll do with me. His tongue is searching for mine, caressing it gently as we both melt into this kiss even more now. I am melting away.
The urge to breathe is what forces us to end the kiss and I part from his tempting lips with a slight sigh.
Why does he make me feel so weak?
Every time he touches me I'm shivering from the love that he's raising inside of me. Still it feels like my first time every time when we're together.
He's speaking, whispering again, whispering into my ear... His voice... dark, promising... just like a sweet lullaby. Oh, if only I could understand a single word he says... but I'm too far away, in another dimension when his fingertips trace my every outline.
I stay mute, just listening to his reassuring voice and gently shoving the hands up his warm back, slinging my arms around him to pull him even closer.
Please give me this feeling inside my chest, always. Though my heart pounds hard and fast against my ribcage... It wants to escape out my body, maybe wants to meet his... just like our lips which are meeting again.
Now sliding the hands over his chest and then down over his belly, I'm searching for a way to touch more of his addicting skin, finally find the hem, and let my fingers glide underneath the dark cloth.
Low, quiet moans that escape his mouth encourage me to go on. Brushing my fingertips lightly over the tiny hair on his skin, I soak up every small noise he makes while my hands want to discover more of his body now. Almost dragging on his shirt, I make him help me to take it off. Unnoticed it falls down to the cold floor.
So much tender skin to be revealed... I'm leaving breathed kisses on his chest and collarbone, follow his neck above his Adam's apple. His skin tastes so good, my lips are searching for more, more to fondle. To receive his mellow sighing in response to the caressing makes me smile lightly.
Painfully slow he's sliding his warm hands under the cloth that covers my stomach, slipping off my shirt, before his hot breath touches my skin. I feel him stroking away my hair and bringing his soft lips on my neck. I cock my head to be able to enjoy his nibbling and sucking that completely causes me shivers all over, and close my eyes. I'm giving myself up for him.
Demanding kisses cover my mouth again. My hands stroke over his shoulders and I kiss him back just with the same desire.
Sudden impatience is overcoming me. As much as I enjoy our affectionate playing with each other, I want to be closer to him. As close as possible.
With this urge my fingers start twiddling on his belt, unzipping his jeans. His tongue licks over the faster pounding pulse on my neck. He shoves my fingers away. Quicker than I can realize it he grabs my wrists with both of his hands and presses them left and right next my shoulders against the wall. That stare pierces me. My heart just stops beating for a second. So close is his face to mine - I can feel... almost taste his breath.
That he continues gazing at me gives me enough time to study his beautiful face again, to look at his sweet nose, watch his delicious inviting lips parting as he breathes out, and get stuck at his black eyes as l just wanted to glance over them.
I join his wordless staring, licking over my way too fast drying lips now... Now that he grinds his hips to mine.
Am I making him just as insane as he makes me?
This silence begins to crush me. I feel a bit helpless in this position, though his grip on my wrists isn't that tight and his lower body is slowly almost subconsciously rubbing against mine now, causing me pleasing shivers through my whole body.
A deep and low moan escapes my mouth. I can't stand that staring anymore and close my eyes, try not to concentrate too much on his crotch rubbing against mine. But I know that this is just as in vain as forbidding myself to breathe. Through the cloth of our jeans I feel his hardness, too present to ignore. If he'd just let go my hands... The heat growing from my lower body up to the rest makes my mind hazy and leaves only the burning thought of touching him, feeling him, kissing him, making him melt in my hands...
That second he releases me from the craving suffering, crashes his lips against mine and kisses me with all that held back desire in the past seconds, pushes hard through my lips with his tongue, starts exploring me with untamed greed, waking up a never known lust.
Never knew that I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before. I just want to vanish inside his kiss that swallows me up.
Hungrily he intensifies the kiss, battles with my tongue, before he surrenders to me and lets me into his hot mouth. I can't believe he really lets me take over, but continue kissing him, deepen the kiss. Inviting his tongue to leave his mouth, I begin losing myself in this. I've been always a fan of French kisses outside both mouths. So devotedly I'm stroking his tongue with mine, caress it with swift sucking, sighing slightly as he replies the sweet playing, until we're both running out of breath again.
Finally he lets go my wrists and my eyes open to watch him.
With no sign of hesitation now, he takes off my t-shirt, unclasps my bra and throws both to the floor. I can only respond with a further sigh while he's showering my upper body with heated, little and promising kisses, cupping his hands around my breasts, massaging them while he brings his mouth down my one nipple. I'm already all tingly when his tongue faintly brushes the sensitive skin like accidentally. He's teasing me with gentle nibbling, leaves his irregular breath on my getting more and more aroused body, takes a piece of my mind and soul with him.
His hands wander down my stomach, give me goose bumps. He traces the button and zipper of my trousers. Laying my hand over his, I lead his fingers inside my pants, between my thighs. Fingers touching me softly. I lay my head back and close my eyes. Knowing that this is the most weak part of my body, he rubs it with the most intense care he can afford, slowly circle his fingertips around it. I whimper slightly, move my hips up and down in a rhythmic motion, matching his every stroke.
My pulse pounds so fast. That heat inside my body, that heat between us - it grows unstoppably, burns me. The further we go, the more this arousal takes over my mind. We crossed that line of just making out long ago. Now we can't go back. I don't want to pause, don't want to stop anyway. He has me so incredibly wet already. Pounding desire... between my legs. It's screaming for him. Everything screams for him. My body. For more skin, more caressing, for more pleasure. Feel. I want just to feel. More of him. We haven't really begun by now and I'm already gasping.
I notice that he's playing with me again. Not only that: I allow him to play with me. I've never been his woman. I'll never be. I'm just a game he can play whenever he feels like it. Yes, I might be pathetic for loving a guy who's actually not looking for a relationship at all. But I can't control, can't deny what my heart is feeling. And even if it hurts me, I can't take my hands off him. I'm like a child playing with fire. I burn my fingers over and over, but my fascination for the flame can't be killed.
My hands move up his chest. Carefully, but determined I shove him away. I try to catch his look with my eyes, but I just can't. But I feel his confusion. It's exactly this confusion that excites me.
Some hoarse words reach my ears.
I don't care what words are coming out of his mouth. I just care that I can hear the smirk in his voice and that alone is telling me anything, speak volumes.
I whisper his name in response, as if it is my answer for everything, my sweet lie, bow over to him and kiss his lips softly.
Like it was a magical word that I said he takes my hand and steps backwards into the living-room and leads me to the couch, drags me with him.
He sits down, gets off his shoes, looks up to me and grabs my hand again to hold it. He sits, I stand - right in front of him. Both hands of his entwine around my waist and pull me closer, so that I'm standing between his legs. A little kiss aspirated on my abdomen makes me smile lightly. Slowly his fingers show more interest for my pants, open them more and removed them completely in the end. I step out my shoes. Even my panties have to disappear now and before I'm aware of it, I'm standing completely naked in front of him. Weird, somehow - in my imagination - I've never really thought it could be awkward for me. But now in reality I'm ashamed and blush, standing right here in front of him - this bare, this uncovered, this vulnerable... But soft kisses he leaves on my skin make this feeling go away, make it vanish as quick as it came. And I close my eyes once again, bury my fingers deep into his hair, while he presses me closer against him, still kissing my belly gently.
His lips part from my skin and grant me some time to look down on him. In this fade light I can see his face, can see his eyes watching me again. Carefully I caress his neck, touch his cheek, slowly sink on my knees. This time I'll bring to an end where I was stopped by his hands the first time. I fully open his jeans by completely unzipping them. Now he's even helping me taking it off, cause I'm acting kinda dumb again with my shivering fingers.
Excitement and arousal mixed into one. I don't know anymore where one thing ends and the other begins.
To get off his whole pants he's getting up again, so I can pull it down his legs, along with the boxers. Yeah, I'm not really wasting any time anymore.
By doing this I also free what has been hiding underneath all the thick cloth.
I just can't leave it be. Especially not when I'm kneeling in front of him like this and there's nothing covering him anymore besides his bare skin.
My hands stroke upwards his inner thighs, like without a destination. I leave soft kisses on his hip bone and take his erection in my hand, carefully at first, then tighten my grab. Like expected his reaction is intense, a moan leaves his lips almost immediately. Knowing what I want I push him back down onto the couch, crawl between his legs. Holding him in my hand, I bring my mouth down. Just briefly, teasingly licking the bare and hot skin. Running my tongue over the tip, before I take him in my mouth, starting pleasuring him. Just lightly I'm sucking - his moaning gets louder, escapes rough through your lips.
It's such a sweet tease, isn't it? Yes, I want to tease. I want to play with him. I know he's only letting me play, quite enjoying that I take over this way. Then again, how could he not like it?
I move my other hand up his chest, while sucking a bit harder just to hear his desperate deep groan that tells me how unbearable it gets for him to control yourself.
We still have just begun.
I honestly don't know where my sudden self-confidence is coming from and I could probably move on, just playing with my tongue like this, tasting him.
But I know I can't go too far with this. Because I want to have some more fun with him tonight.
So I'm leaving his middle, moving up again, making my way up high with small kisses.
God, I love that grin. When his lips curl all knowingly, because he knows what I want is him. Hungrily I ravish his tempting mouth, playfully pulling away from time to time, just to show him that I can be as much of a beast at toying as he is.
But his fingers entangle in my hair, grasp it tightly and force my head to tilt, so he can deepen the kiss all he wants.
My moaning reaches my ears but it's distant like a far away background sound. His growl is more evident to my mind, sending gooseflesh all over my skin.
Wherever his hands touch me, it elicits pleasant jolts of sensual electricity. He grasps my hip, steadying me and I can feel his arousal between my legs. Teasing. Subconsciously I try to feel more of it, want it to vanish inside of me so badly. But to no avail. His guidance is which I want to follow, although I wouldn't admit that. Not yet.
In a swift movement his arm tightly snakes around my waist, pulling me closer still and leaving me no choice but to surrender. My gasp evokes another smile from him, the kiss broken for just the time he needs to turn us both around. As soon as I'm on my back his lips are back on mine, feverishly kissing me with obvious desire, unmistakable as I wrap my legs around his waist, urging.
Desperately my hands cling to his shoulders, nails digging, scratching. Doesn't he want to invade me like his plain presents invaded my whole being long ago? Hips press upward against me. Needy sounds spill from slightly swollen lips. I beg him without words.
His lips have travelled to my neck and he murmurs softly against the sensitive skin. My chest is heaving against his naked torso. My eyelids fall shut on their own accord. Drawn to the sensations he provokes I shudder.
The closeness gone just for a moment, I realize why and open my eyes to lock my gaze with his. He kisses my lips with silky gentleness, once, twice, and then slide into me with such ease that for a moment I think that it's only him who belongs there. Inside of me.
He begins moving with a painfully slow rhythm and I still want to be only closer. With my head pressed into the pillows and my lower body pressed more against his, I'm arching my back, keep my legs locked around his waist, not willing to let him go.
The sweet tingle of his breath against my ear, his erotically gasping... I'm drowning in his lust-soaked voice. Closer. Oh please, closer. Not holding himself back anymore he quickens the pace. Thrusts, moving harder inside of me. I roll my eyes back, have to withstand this wave already overcoming me and wanting to swamp me.
I'm panting his name. Repeat, gasp it out. He's overflowing me. Nearness. Biting my lip so that I won't moan louder than I already do. Every thrust causes me more of this dizziness. Wriggling underneath him I'm begging for more, shove my hands up and down his shoulders, dig my fingers into his hair.
He fulfills every wish with an unknown matter of course. Blood rushes through my head like in a white-water ride. Our bodies burn with a fire that erases every 'he' and 'I'. We melt into each other. One. Hearts beating in the same tact, souls entwine. He holds me tightly as we rock our hips back and forth while voices mix into another, lance into the silent room. The feeling of being one fills my desire as I wither deeper inside.
I can't hold it back any longer, my voice sings of lust. The way he penetrates me, possessive and hungry, swallows me like a ravenous tiger, sends me over the edge. I come with such force that it leaves me completely trembling and shuddering for what feel like eternity. A rush hits me as he brushes against my most sensitive area, making me see stars behind my eyelids. I know he's watching me. Watching the way my body writhes beneath him, the way I arch against his passionate moves, touches. And I know the gorgeous face he's making as he pounds into my body while I surrender to my orgasm, my lips spill out a scream, and can feel him melting inside of me too.
Out of breath he lays upon me. Clinging to him I press my body against his, feel my lungs aching just as much as his skin burns mine with this heat. Our hearts pound hard against each others rip-cages. He kisses my lips softly, stays inside of me. Gentle touches and an affectionately smile. He caresses my red cheeks, kisses me again and again, just like lovers do.
Yes, I'm satisfied with even the weak love that exists only in a smile...
Yes, we don't need to share the same feelings for each other. For now, I just need his warmth. And that alone means everything to me.
The three words forever unspoken...
~~~END~~~
Comments are always love.
Feel free to add this LJ <3