Questions about opinions and negitivity...

[akutaq]

With many different opinions out there, some that you agree with, some that you don't... How do you avoid feeling negitive about opposing opinions? How do you "accept" what other's say and not let it affect you in a negitive manner????

Comments

[ladyamybug]

not enough room in that little box....
(i think i know what this is about btw)

this is a hard one. it depends on how much i disagree and the way the person's message is conveyed. if they explain their position in a way this is not meant to be an attack, i am willing to try to see their perspective and i am ususally not offended by their difference of opinion. usually we can agree to disagree with no nasty thoughts or feelings hanging around.
but if they come at me slinging negative, blanket statements that are clearly meant to get a rise out of me, it makes me want to lash out verbally. but i have found that never works. people who communicate that way in the first place dont take the time to listen to what other people have to say anyway. usually, i end up saying nothing. sometimes i have to physically put space between myself and the person who i disagree with, to let the air clear a little so i can keep myself calm and collected and avoid saying something i might regret later.
how about you?

[akutaq]

You know, I don't know what to think of my question. It seems that I have many different views and feelings on certain subjects than EVERYONE else that I have become aquainted with on LJ, and most my friends for that matter. I read in another journal that opinions are not "wrong". I do believe this with my whole heart, but when there are so many with the same opinion, and their opinions are opposite of mine, I'm afraid of voicing what I think and believe because I know that I will be lashed out at. I basically have no balls I think

[ladyamybug]

i agree with you in terms of no one being 'right' or 'wrong'....i feel that something that is 'wrong' for me might be 'right' for you, so who am i to make that statement for you?

the negativity comes with the delivery. if someone spouts off something controversial with really offensive words (like 'racist')sprinkled in, its nothing i want to even respond to.

because there are just some words you cant throw around.

most of the time, i think the people who know me best, know that my opinions are *out there*. its funny, im totally lax in certain areas that most people are really fired up about, and then totally balls to the wall about stuff no one else cares about.

today, in my present emotional state, i have no time to even listen to what other people think. i am just trying to wade thru what *i* think.

[murgen]

I think the key is not having an emotional attachment to things - by that I mean, don't be attached to the outcome of things, to what people say, or to what people think. Of course this is harder to say than to do... Have you read Castaneda? He talks in one of the books about detachment. At the time I read it it sounded so sad and desolate and depressing... but now I think I get it. I have students, and I *can't* be attached emotionally to whether they progress or not. If they work on their stuff, and progress, cool - but if not, hey, it's their trip, and it doesn't affect my self-esteem or self-image. This is NOT the same thing as not caring. I *do* care, but I'm not going to be hung up on the outcome. Does this make sense? It may just be one of those "mysteries" that you have to stumble upon yourself. I live my life, do my stuff, try to help others IF they want it, but don't let what others do affect me overly much. To do so is to react. To react means to RE-act - to act again, not to act with originality, not to act from and

[akutaq]

Yes, I did read the Castaneda books. What you mention about detachment is in the 3rd book and I recently read that one. I did seem very depressing to do that, but I fully understood it as well. I am going to go back and re-read that section. As far as the rest of your comment, I'll be looking into the readings you suggested on your site. I have the Women's Mysteries and Way of All Women book at home, I just have not gotten to that yet. I will soon. Thanks. I'll let you know when I've read that information. Thank you.

[akutaq]

Thank you for your input. This REALLY does help a lot.

[anonymous]

Some things people think are brought about by different influences in their lives. Some people are just negative and live to make other people miserable, and they drag everyone they know into their opinions so that they make themselves feel validated