Love and Marriage

[al_rants]

A while ago, I mentioned as a brief aside in another rant that I am of the opinion that people should not have premarital sex with a person unless there is no chance of marriage with that person. As often happens, I was a bit surprised by the reaction to that statement. Not because I expected there to be none, but because it was neither a full rant

Comments

[amzrigh]

I can agree with a whole lot of that

[al_rants]

You know, I agree with you pretty much totally on that. This post was MOSTLY a response to something someone said as a comment on an earlier point, so I was trying to address their comment more than anything else. But I do believe that two intelligent and mature people CAN have the "both" sex involving different types of love than "true love."

I really wish I'd ever had a chance to do that myself, but unfortunately, I've never had that opportunity. The one time I thought I did, my partner went psycho on me. I should have known the partner wasn't intelligent and mature enough for that sort of relationship, but oh well.

[dreamhunterfox]

Ouch. Bad timing, love.

[al_rants]

I'm sorry if my opinion should be painful to you. I'm not sure what I said that would be hurtful, and if you'd like to explain it to me, I'll try to make amends.

[amorousfiend]

i do agree with you that amorola exists. but i dont know about the sex thing.

mostly because your post was so big, or most likely because i havent had my coffee yet, i cant tell exactly what pure point your trying to make.

sex changes things. if done too early in a relationship, like if you dont know each other well enough, or if your not *totally sure* your in love yet, can make things weird or otherwise mess things up.

or

people can confuse sex for love in a relationship. i guess by thinking the sex in and of itself is an afarmation of love when its not, or that their desire to have sex with someone is love.

the first i can kinda see, but the second seems less likely.

[al_rants]

Both, actually.

As for the second, I realise that some people, like you, are intelligent enough that they don't have that sort of confusion, but a lot of people DO forget that there is a difference between love and sex. A lot of people think that you can't love someone if you don't have sex with them, and that you can't have sex with someone unless you love them.

Yes, it's a terrible mistake, but a lot of people do make it. I know: I dated one such person once. I can tell you about it if you like.